To Your Scattered Bodies Go/The Fabulous Riverboat

by Philip José Farmer

  “His big bulk radiates heat slower than our puny bodies,” Clemens said.

  “Pleathe, pleathe! Thyould I talk or jutht keep my big mouth thyut?”

  Lothar and Sam grinned at him.

  He continued. The wind grew stronger, and the air became misty. He began to get uneasy. He wanted to turn back, but by now he did not want to lose the respect of the leader. He would go every inch of the way toward their unknown goal with them.

  “You didn’t know where they were going?” Lothar said.

  “Not egthactly. They vanted to get to the headvaterth of The River. They thought maybe the godth lived there, and there the godth vould admit them into the true aftervorld. They thaid that thith vorld vathn’t the true vorld. It vath a thtage on the vay to the true vorld. Vhatever that ith.”

  One day, Joe heard a rumble that sounded as faintly but yet as near as gas moving within his bowels. After a while, as the noise became like thunder, he knew it was water falling from immense heights.

  The ship swung into a bay protected by a finger of land. The grailstones no longer lined The River. The men would have to catch fish and dry them. There was also a store of bamboo tips on the ship; these had been collected in the sunlit region for just such an eventuality.

  The leader and his men prayed, and the party began climbing a series of cataracts. Here the superhuman strength of Tehuti–Joe Miller helped them in overcoming obstacles. Other times, his great weight was a hindrance and a danger.

  Upward they went, wet because of the ever-present spray. When they came to a cliff smooth as ice for a thousand feet up, they despaired. Reconnoitering, they found a rope dangling from the face of a cliff. It was formed of towels tied together. Joe tested its strength and climbed up, hand over hand, his feet braced against the cliff, until he reached the top. There he turned to watch the others follow him. The chief, first after Joe, tired much easier, and halfway up to the top he could go no farther. Joe pulled him and the extremely heavy rope to the top. He did the same for each man in the party.

  “WHERE in hell did the rope come from?” von Richthofen said.

  “Someone had prepared the way for them,” Clemens said. “Given the primitive technology of this planet, no one could have found a way to get that rope up to the rock around which one end of the rope was tied. Maybe a balloon might have lifted a man up there. You could make a balloon of Riverdragonskin or human skins, you know. You could make hydrogen by passing steam over highly heated charcoal in the presence of a suitable catalyst. But in this world of scarce metal, where’s the catalyst?

  “Hydrogen could be made without a catalyst but at an enormous cost in fuel. But there was no evidence of the furnaces needed to make the hydrogen. Besides, why would the towels be left behind, when they’d be needed again? No, some unknown person, let’s call him The Mysterious Stranger, put that rope there for Joe and party. Or for whoever might come along. Don’t ask me who he was or how he did it. Listen. There’s more.”

  The party, carrying the rope, walked for several miles in the mist-ridden twilight on a plateau. They came to another cliff where The River broadened out above them into a cataract. It was so wide, it seemed to Joe that there was enough water to float the moon of Earth upon it. He would not have been surprised to see that great silver-and-black orb appear on the brink of the cataract far above and hurtle down that thunder of waters and be smashed to pieces on the rocks in the maelstrom foot.

  The wind became stronger and louder; the mist, thicker. Drops of water condensed on the towels they had now fastened around themselves from head to foot. The cliff before them was as mirror-smooth and perpendicular as the one just ascended. Its top was lost in the fog; it could be only fifty feet high or could be ten thousand. They searched along the foot, hoping for some kind of fissure. And they found one. It was a small doorway at the juncture of plateau and cliff. It was so low, it forced them to get down on hands and knees and crawl. Joe’s shoulders rubbed against the sides of the rock. But the rock was smooth, as if the hole had been made by a man and rubbed until all roughness was gone.

  The tunnel led at a slightly less than 45-degree angle upward and through the mountain. There was no estimating its distance. When Joe came out at the other end, however, his shoulders and hands and knees were rubbed raw and bleeding even with the protection of towels.

  “I don’t understand,” von Richthofen said. “It seems to me that the mountains were shaped there to prevent men from getting to the end of The River. Why was this tunnel bored through solid rock to give intruders passage? And why wasn’t a tunnel placed in the first cliff?”

  “A tunnel in the first cliff might have been visible to whatever sentinels or patrols there are in that area,” Clemens said. “But the second cliff was hidden in mist.”

  “That chain of white towels would be even more outstanding,” the German said.

  “Maybe it was placed there not too long before Joe got there,” Clemens said.

  Von Richthofen shivered.

  “For Heaven’th thaketh, let me tell thith! After all, it ith my tale.”

  “And a big one, too,” Clemens said, looking at Joe’s huge buttocks.

  “Thtickth and thtoneth may break my boneth.”

  6

  The party pushed on over another tableland for about ten miles. They slept or tried to, ate, and began climbing. Now, though the mountains were very steep and rough, they were scalable. Their chief enemy was lack of oxygen. They gasped for breath and had to halt often to rest.

  By now Joe’s feet were hurting him, and he was limping. He did not ask if he could rest. As long as the others walked, so would he.

  “Joe can’t stay on his feet as long as a human,” Clemens said. “All of his species suffer from flat feet. Their weight is just too much for a biped that size. I wouldn’t be surprised if his kind became extinct on Earth because of broken arches.”

  “I know one thpethimen of Homo thapienth who’th going to suffer from a broken nothe if he don’t keep hith nothe out of my buthineth, vhich ith telling thith thtory,” Joe said.

  They climbed until The River, broad as it was, was only a thread below them. Much of the time they could not see even that thread because of the clouds. Snow and ice made climbing even more dangerous. Then they found a way downward to another plateau and groped through the fog against a wind that howled and beat at them.

  They found themselves beside a tremendous hole in the mountains. Out of the hole rushed The River, and on every side except Riverward the mountains rose straight and smooth. The hole was the only way to go. Out of it blasted a roar so loud they could not hear each other, the voice of a god who spoke as loud as death.

  Joe Miller found a narrow ledge entering the cave high above the waters. Joe noticed that the leader had now dropped back behind him. After a while, the titanthrop became aware that all the pygmies were looking to him as their guide and helper. When they shouted to make themselves heard above the bellow, they called him Tehuti. There was nothing unusual in that, but before this he had detected overtones of jesting in their use of the name. No more. Now he was truly their Tehuti.

  Clemens interrupted again. “It was as if we called the village idiot Jehovah or something like that. When men have no need of gods, they mock them. But, when afraid, they treat them with respect. Now, you might say, Thoth was leading them into the opening into the Underworld.

  “Of course, I’m only indulging in mankind’s vice of trying to make a symbol out of coincidence. If you scratch any dog, you’ll scare out a flea.”

  Joe Miller was breathing heavily through his grotesque nose, and the vast chest rose and fell like a bellows. Clearly, the reliving of that experience had aroused the old terror in him.

  The ledge was not like the tunnel in the mountain. It had not been prepared. It was rough, and there were gaps in it, and sometimes it ran so high that Joe had to crawl to squeeze between the ledge and the roof of the cavern. The darkness blinded him as if his eyes had been plucked out. His
sense of hearing did not help him; the bellow filled his ears. Only his touch was left to guide him, and he was so agitated that he sometimes wondered if that were betraying him. He would have quit except that, if he did, the men behind him would not have been able to go on.

  “Ve thtopped tvithe to eat and vonthe to thleep,” Joe said. “Jutht vhen I vath beginning to think ve might crawl until ve ran out of food, I thaw a grayneth ahead. It vathn’t a light. Jutht a leththening of the darkneth.”

  THEY were out of the cave, in the open air, on the side of the mountain. Several thousand feet below them was a sea of clouds. The sun was hidden behind the mountains, but the sky above was not yet dark. The narrow ledge continued, and they crawled on their bloodied hands and knees downward now, since the ledge had narrowed to nothing.

  Trembling, they clung to the tiniest of fingerholes. A man slipped and fell and clutched another man. Screaming, both disappeared into the clouds.

  The air became warmer.

  “The River was giving up its heat,” Clemens said. “It not only originates at the north pole, it also empties there after picking up heat in its serpentine wanderings over the entire planet. The air at the north pole is cold but not nearly as cold as that on Earth. This is all speculation, of course.”

  The party came to another shelf on which they could stand, facing the mountain, and proceed sidewise, like crabs. The shelf curved around the mountainside. Joe halted. The narrow valley had widened into a great plain. He could hear, far below, the dash of surf against rock.

  Through the twilight, Joe could see the mountains ringing the sea of the north pole. The cloud-covered waters formed a body about sixty miles in diameter. The clouds were thicker at the opposite end of the sea. He didn’t know why then, but Sam had explained that the clouds hid the mouth of The River where the warm waters came into contact with the cold air.

  Joe took a few more steps around the curve of the ledge.

  And he saw the gray metal cylinder sitting on the path before him.

  For a moment, he did not understand what it was, it looked so alien. It was so unexpected. Then it flowed into familiar lines, and he knew it was a grail left by a man who had come before him on this dangerous path. Some unknown pilgrim had survived the same perils as he. Up to that point, that is. He had put the grail down to eat. The lid was open, and there was the stinking remnant of fish and moldy bread within it. The pilgrim had used the grail as a pack, perhaps hoping he might come across a grailstone and recharge it.

  Something had happened to him. He would not have left the grail there unless he had been killed or had been so frightened he had run away without it.

  At this thought, Joe’s skin chilled.

  He went around the outcropping that was sitting at a point where the ledge went around a shoulder of granite. For a moment, his view of the sea was blocked.

  He went around the outcropping—and he cried out.

  THE men called and asked what troubled him.

  He could not tell them because the shock had taken away his newly learned speech, and he spoke in his native tongue.

  The clouds in the middle of the sea had rolled away for a few seconds. The top of a structure projected from the clouds. It was cylindrical and gray, like the top of a monster grail.

  Mists rose and fell around it, now revealing, now veiling.

  Somewhere in the mountains ringing the polar sea, a break existed. At that moment, the low sun must have passed this notch in the range. A ray of light fell through the notch and struck the top of the tower.

  Joe squinted his eyes and tried to see into the brightness of the reflection.

  Something round had appeared just above the top of the tower and was settling down toward it. It was egg-shaped and white, and it was from this that the sun was sparkling.

  The next instant, as the sun passed by the notch, the sparkle died. The tower and the object above it faded into darkness and mist. Joe, crying out at the sight of the flying object, stepped back. His leg struck the grail left by the unknown pilgrim.

  He swung his arms to regain his balance, but not even his apelike agility could save him. He toppled backward, bellowing horror as he turned over and over. Once he glimpsed the faces of his companions, a row of dark brown objects with the darker O’s of mouths, watching his descent to the clouds and waters beneath.

  “I don’t remember hitting the vater,” Joe said. “I avoke tranthlated about tventy mileth from vhere Tham Clementh vath. Thith vath a plathe vhere Northemen of the tenth thentury A.D. lived. I had to thtart learning a new language all over again. The little notheleth people vere thcared of me, but they vanted me to fight for them. Then I met Tham, and ve became buddieth.”

  They were silent for a while. Joe lifted his glass to his thin and chimpanzee-flexible lips and poured out the rest of the liquor. Somber, the other two watched him. The only sign of brightness about them was the glow of their cigar ends.

  Von Richthofen said, “This man who wore a glass circlet with a sunburst. What did you say his name was?”

  “I didn’t.”

  “Well, then, what was it?”

  “Ikhnaton. Tham knowth more about him than I do, and I lived for four yearth with him. At leatht, that’th vhat Tham thayth. But”—here Joe looked smug—“I know the man and all Tham knowth ith a few hithtorical factth, tho-called.”

  7

  Von Richthofen said good night and went below decks. Sam paced back and forth, stopping once to light a cigarette for the helmsman. He wanted to sleep but could not. Insomnia had been skewering him for years; it drove through the middle of his brain, which spun on it like a wild gear, disengaged from his body’s need for rest.

  Joe Miller sat hunched against the railing and waited for his friend—the only man he trusted and loved—to go below decks. Presently his head drooped, the bludgeon-nose describing a weary arc, and he snored. The noise was like that of trees being felled in the distance. Sequoias split, screeched, cracked. Vast sighings and bubblings alternated with the woodchoppers’ activities.

  “Thleep veil, little chum,” Sam said, knowing that Joe dreamed of that forever-lost Earth where mammoths and giant bears and lions roamed and where beautiful—to him—females of his own species lusted after him. Once he groaned and then whimpered, and Sam knew that he was dreaming again of being seized by a bear which was chomping on his feet. Joe’s feet hurt day and night. Like all of his kind, he was too huge and heavy for bipedal locomotion. Nature had experimented with a truly giant subhuman species and then she had dismissed them as failures.

  “The Rise and Fall of the Flatfeet,” Sam said. “An article I shall never write.”

  Sam gave a groan, a weak echo of Joe’s. He saw Livy’s half smashed body, given him briefly by the waves, then taken away. Or had she really been Livy? Had he not seen her at least a dozen times before while staring through the telescope at the multitudes on the banks? Yet, when he had been able to talk Bloodaxe into putting ashore just to see if the face were Livy’s, he had always been disappointed. Now there was no reason to believe the corpse had been his wife’s.

  He groaned again. How cruel if it had been Livy! How like life! To have been so close and then to have her taken away a few minutes before he would have been reunited with her. And to have her cast upon the decks as if God—or whatever sneering forces ran the universe—were to laugh and to say, “See how close you came! Suffer, you miserable conglomeration of atoms! Be in pain, wretch! You must pay with tears and agony!”

  “Pay for what?” Sam muttered, biting on his cigar. “Pay for what crimes? Haven’t I suffered enough on Earth, suffered for what I did do and even more for what I didn’t do?”

  Death had come to him on Earth, and he had been glad because it meant the end forever to all sorrow. He would no longer have to weep because of the sickness and deaths of his beloved wife and daughters nor gloom because he felt responsible for the death of his only son, the death caused by his negligence. Or was it carelessness that had made his
son catch the disease that killed him? Had his unconscious mind permitted the robe to slip from little Langdon, while taking him for a carriage ride that cold winter day?

  “No!” Sam said so loudly that Joe stirred and the helmsman growled something in Norse.

  He smacked his fist against his open palm, and Joe muttered again.

  “God, why do I have to ache now with guilt for anything I’ve done?” Sam cried. “It doesn’t matter now! It’s all been wiped out; we’ve started with clean souls.”

  BUT it did matter. It made no difference that all the dead were once more alive and the sick were healthy and the bad deeds were so remote in time and space that they should be forgiven and forgotten. What a man had been and had thought on Earth, he still was and thought here.

  Suddenly, he wished he had a stick of dreamgum. That might remove the clenching remorse and make him wildly happy.

  But then it might intensify the anguish. You never knew if a horror so terrifying would come that you wanted to die. The last time he had taken the gum, he had been so menaced by monsters that he had not dared try the gum again. But maybe this time…no!

  Little Langdon! He would never see him again, never! His son had been only twenty-eight months old when he had died, and this meant that he had not been resurrected in the Rivervalley. No children who had died on Earth before the age of five had been raised again. At least, not here. It was to be presumed that they were alive somewhere, probably on another planet. But for some reason, whoever was responsible for this had chosen not to place the infant dead here. And so Sam would never find him and make amends.

  Nor would he ever find Livy or his daughters, Sarah, Jean, and Clara. Not on a River said to be possibly twenty million miles long with possibly thirty-seven billion people on its banks. Even if a man started at one end and walked up one bank and looked at every person on that side and then, on reaching the end, walked back down the other side and did not miss a person, he would take—how long? A square mile a day would mean a round trip of, say 365 into 40,000,000—what was that? He wasn’t any good at doing sums in his head, but it must be over 109,000 years.