The Parish

by Clare Midgley

  Collecting his jacket and leaving his statement Paul began to run as fast as he could back to Eve. No matter how neglected he felt Paul knew he was trapped and even if this life was making him miserable he had to stay.

  He had to stay and protect all of them.

  Chapter 20

  TEN YEARS LATER

  Paul stood at the counter looking desperately into the cold covered garden. His thoughts seemed to disappear through the frosted glass and as the noise of the morning routine cast over him he quietly became distracted.

  “Where’s your mum?”

  “Still in the bathroom. Where’s my pack lunch bag?” His son stood impatiently waiting for his answer, Paul however still distracted by his sadness never heard the barrage of calls his son was now making.

  “Dad?”

  “Sorry Tom. In the dining room on the table don’t forget your brothers.” Watching him disappear through the double doors Paul felt the emptiness return and his heart, and as he came back to the same position at the sink, he fixated his stare at the toys and bikes.

  “Paul….” Breaking his concentration, he wiped his hands on the pot towel and turned slowly trying to regain some composure.

  “The keys are on the sideboard near the door…” Eve was still as beautiful as she ever was and as she tucked her white shirt into her jeans, she couldn’t help but notice how distant they had become.

  “I’m sorry this is all my fault. I never...”

  “The kids will be late...” Feeling the lack of feeling in his voice she felt the lump grow in her throat.

  Opening the car door, she ushered both children in and as she looked back at the house she held the keys in her hand and felt the pain rise and fall. Contemplating her thoughts, she crushed the keys between her fingers making the marks appear around them.

  “Is dad ok? He seems funny?”

  “Your dad’s tired baby Mummy and Daddy are looking forward to having a few days off.”

  “Mum….” Hearing the inquisitive tone in Tom’s voice, she knew what the next question would be.

  “Tom it's ok I promise. I really promise.” After dropping the boys off at school her, she felt distracted and nervous about what was going to happen and as she pulled into the drive Eve sat in the car playing with the top button of her shirt. Ten years earlier Paul had saved her life and given her safety, he had loved her unconditionally, provided a home and security, and all she could repay him with was nothing.

  Playing with the ring on her finger she could feel the stammer of her breath fogging up the glass, and as she built up her courage, she entered the house and cautiously made her way to the kitchen. Paul sat at the table quietly, he seemed lost and confused, and immediately she recognised his breath.

  “Can we talk…?”

  “Eve please don’t. I can’t...”

  “I love you...”

  “What did you say? You never say…” As her heart beat hard in her chest, she immediately became dizzy as the blood coursed through her veins.

  “I’ve spent ten years with you, and I love you, Paul. I love you so much that the thought of you not being here…”

  “Eve don’t’ you know we can’t do. After everything, we’ve been through; you know what happens you know how this is supposed to be”

  “I’ve been afraid all my life, and I’m sorry, I’m sorry for being the stupid unforgiving idiot and not letting my barriers down. I’m not scared anymore. I can’t lose you.”

  “We’ve been through this. Please.”

  “And I’ve punished you unnecessarily for it.” Taking his hand, she pulled it to her cheek.

  “I never forced you. I never...” Seeing his eyes well she took hold of his other hand.

  “You are an incredible father, and you have treated me with respect and dignity. You have been so kind and patient with me, and I don’t deserve you. I never did. If anyone is to blame it's me, I don’t deserve the love you show me. I don’t deserve how sweet and amazing you are, especially when I have been so cruel and cold. I just want you to know that I’m truly sorry. These are my demons. Please, please for the sake of us and the good of our children let me show you. I can make this right. I promise.” Tears streamed down her cheeks as she clasped his fingers in hers. Looking into his large blue eyes, she could see his kindness and pain shining back.

  “Do you think I wanted my life to be like this I thought…I thought I could help you. I was stupid to believe that this would go away? I just can’t do this anymore.”

  “I love you. I’m in love with you, and I have been wrong. I’m a broken, misshapen jigsaw puzzle but without you. I don’t want to live like this anymore.” Dropping her fingers, he stood at the patio doors, unable to face her he stared at the robin hopping along flat extended roofs of their crescent waiting for a single sign of darkness to descend over them.

  “You know I watched our alleged wedding video. I knew you didn’t....not the same. I didn’t care I just wanted you so badly to be mine. We didn’t even make love until I proposed. Since…”

  “Since that night. I was scared.”

  “Scared of me...”

  “No scared of them. Afraid of them finding all this and taking it from me, from us.”

  “Don’t you think I’m scared Eve? Don’t you think the thought of walking away from you and my children scares me! I’ve been in love with you since the first day I saw you and please don't ask me why. But you scare me, and the kids scare me, and everything about this fucking god awful life scares me. But I stayed because of you. Because I love you! This is not living, and I’m sick of existing I want this to end, but I know it won’t and…” Hearing his temper take hold of his voice Eve stepped towards him knowing she had to show him why.

  “I locked you out, and it hurt like hell. I’ve wanted you for so many years, but I also wanted us to be safe. Every time we became close some horrific event happened, and I put you all in danger. Listen to me put your hands on me, I’m telling you the truth. I am in love with you, and I don’t want you to go” Taking his hand she pulled him close wrapping his arms around her.

  “I kept you out thinking I was protecting us when the only thing it has done is hurt you. I have never told you I love you and I have been wrong, foolish and I know I’m asking for a lot, but I’m asking for forgiveness.” Kissing him, she wrapped her arms around him again hoping for any response.

  “What about?”

  “I don’t care whatever we face as long as you’re with me. Please please don’t go.”

  “I want to believe this can work but.”

  “Please, trust me, I don’t want to go through life building barriers I want to enjoy my beautiful children which you have so lovingly given to me, and I want to happy. I have all this happiness because of you and now when I’m on the verge of losing everything. You make me happy, and I’m sorry I can’t change the past, but I want you in my future...” Smiling through her tears, Paul pulled her close and felt the warmth of his body and the softness of his touch she knew there was no going back. Kissing him, she played with his top button and remembered fondly the first time his lips met hers.

  “Just promise me, just promise me you're telling me the truth I.”

  “Paul I’ve poured my heart out! Look around you, do you hear anything, see anything. I have this, and I’m not scared anymore I just want you.” Dragging her into his arms, he felt a small part of his soul released from darkness, and as Paul kissed her again, she coiled his hair around his ear.

  “How long is it? How long is it since we?”

  “Eve…” Kicking off her boots she took him by the hand and led him through the dining room into the hallway.

  “Where are we going?”

  “I’m going to make love to you…” Catching his breath, he pulled her into his arms once again. Trickling his fingers along her collarbone he kissed her neck pushing her into the stairs.

  “You don’t have to do this I just want you. That can wait.”

  “It’s
waited nearly two years” As she took a step she started to undo her shirt and as they ran into the bedroom playfully, Paul stopped at the foot of the bed.

  “What happens afterwards?”

  “Afterwards we fight and argue and make up and everything that an average couple does. I want it all Paul I wouldn’t promise you that if I didn’t mean every word.” Taking her in his arms, he delved into her kiss, and as they fell together, he wrapped her hair around his fingers. As he ripped off her shirt, she gasped under his gaze feeling his eyes roam over every curve.

  “I guess things change when you have kids?”

  “You look as beautiful now as the day I met you.” Running her fingers along his chest, she bit her lip she felt satisfied that all her feelings had been laid bare.

  “What?”

  “Nothing…?”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “You run every morning, and you can tell.” Seeing his puzzled expression, she waited a few seconds for her quote to sink in.

  “Are you trying to tell me I’m in good shape for a man of my age.”

  “I’m exceedingly attracted to you if that’s what you are waiting for.” Feeling him lift her he made light work of the rest of her clothes, and as he laid her out naked in front of him, he ripped off the remainder of his attire.

  “Paul…”

  “I know…”

  “No, not anymore. No limits no stopping, no can and can’t. Make love to me the way you want to. No more barriers.”

  “Eve I don’t want ...”

  “Let me deal with that I’ve just let everything else hold me back from loving you the way I wanted you to love me.” Sliding himself between her, he kissed her passionately working his way around to her neck. Pausing Eve met his gaze and smiled before biting her lip.

  “The way I want.” Nodding her head, she felt him kiss his way down her body, and as he reached her breasts, she closed her eyes as he paused again. As he ran his mouth tenderly over each nipple Eve could feel her excitement rise.

  “Are you sure…” Hearing his words Eve felt her breath escape in shards as he circled her navel and as she drew her leg along the line in his back, she squeezed him tight between her thighs contemplating his next breath. Delving into her Eve arched in agony feeling the flood of emotions run through her veins. The heat of his breath and the flick of his tongue held her excitement until it escaped. Taking her un-expectantly the trembles of her orgasm shuddered around every muscle and as his body rose and fell she connected with everything that she had missed. Drawing her up her rolled her perfect body over him until she settled on his thighs.

  They had never made love like this and Eve had always given him strict instructions of what he could and couldn’t do. Now her body was his to do as he wished and as he completed her, again and again, Eve trembled at his fingertips and as she arched back in his grasp he kissed her stomach digging his fingers deeper into her back as she fell under his spell. Seeing the beads of sweat roll down her breast, he pulled her closer so he could enter her deeper. Feeling her hot body against him and her orgasm build he couldn’t help but let go and as he once again fell into her, he grabbed hold of the headboard digging in his nails until they scrapped along the material.

  “Hello anyone home?” Brenda’s voice boomed from the kitchen.

  “Fuck Eve…shit’s my mother. Fuck.” Hearing footsteps on the stairs Eve threw the sheet around them trying to cover any dignity that wasn’t showing.

  “I’ve brought the car. Oh, my days…” Closing the door quickly Brenda counted to ten as she had seen a barely naked vision of the pair wrapped in each other’s embrace.

  “You said eleven, and it’s quarter past…”

  “Mum, just go down.” Kissing Eve and stumbling to put pants on Eve trapped him between the doorway and the frame. Kissing him, she invited him into another fumble, and as they heard Brenda making her way up the stairs again, Paul rolled his eyes trying to see the funny side. Grabbing his shirt, he escaped out of the door and ushered his flustered and embarrassed mother into the living room.

  “I thought you were going to phone.”

  “Well, I didn’t expect that did I. I mean you said you weren’t...”

  “Well, we are, and we have been married for ten years I think it’s still acceptable.” Brenda blushed and sat down placing a leaflet on the coffee table.

  “Happy anniversary darling we’ll be at the restaurant at one….” Kissing him on the cheek, Paul tried to hide his embarrassment. Eve still wrapped in the bed sheet poked her head around the corner.

  “I forgot with everything.” Taking her in his arms, he quietened her with a relinquishing kiss.

  “Is she ok? I mean.”

  “I’m sure she’s fine…” Biting her lip, she couldn’t stop touching him.

  “I’m sorry I’ll stop. Does it make you feel uncomfortable?”

  “No what was all that about.”

  “I suppose that’s what happens when you suppress ten years of love, desire and sex. Too much?” Kissing her again she fell into his embrace, and as he pulled her close, she breathed in his warmth.

  “We still have lots of talking…”

  “We have lots of everything I just want to know if were ok? I mean after everything I know...”

  “Stop babbling and let me take you to dinner.” Smiling Paul threw her over his shoulder making their way back up to the bedroom. As Eve vacated the shower, Paul took her spot. She heard him singing again feeling like it had been a long time since she heard any happiness radiate from him. Putting on her underwear, she stood at the cupboard and felt the hairs on her neck stand on end. As the cold chill circulated, she looked around her feeling paranoid. Closing the bedroom window, she felt the wet kiss hit her shoulder as Paul embraced her in his arms.

  “I love you...”

  “I love you too.” Hearing the words she saw his smiled beam from ear to ear, saying it to him felt right and free and as she expected to see the blackness but nothing was forthcoming.

  Arriving at the restaurant Paul gently escorted her to the table, his arm carefully placed around her waist and with her gaze firmly fixed on him he revelled in her attention. Seeing Brenda Eve blushed pink remembering the compromising position they had been found in earlier. Sitting down Paul’s dad nudged his arm and winked confirming that the story had been passed on.

  “Congratulations kids...” Eve leant into Paul feeling his arm snake down her side and rub the top of her thigh.

  “Thank you. Mum, Dad, listen we are sorry about.”

  “Son don’t explain its ok I will make sure I phone in future.” Brenda was also now imitating Eve’s blush smiled awkwardly.

  “So did you bring the envelope?” Brenda clapped her hands together and watched as Eve began to tear at the seam. Opening the card they saw a white letter confirming a romantic night away for both of them.

  “Oh, my goodness thank you. We can’t accept. Paul”

  “Thank you! Are you sure I mean.”

  “Think of it as our treat plus you’ve both been working so hard at the business, and I know Eve’s been running all over the place with the boat cleaning you deserve it. You both work hard, and the kids will have a wonderful time with us.”

  “This is for tonight I mean...”

  “Don’t worry we have everything planned.” Picking up their glasses Eve toasted together with Paul and took a sip. Kissing him on the cheek, he took hold of her hand pulling her closer.

  “Thank you…”

  “It’s been tough for both of you, and it looks like you’re coming through it. I'm just glad you have both got things back on track.” Feeling the warmth of Pauls hand slip down her back and his fingers play with the buttons on her dress she tilted her head feeling nothing but love and security.

  “Yeah so am I.”

  Chapter 21

  Waving goodbye to the kids, Paul flung his bag into the rear of the car and seeing Eve fumble with her handbag and fuss over leavin
g the kids she smiled knowing it was hard to break out of old habits.

  “I’m sorry I can't help what I’m like with them.”

  “I wouldn’t change it.” Feeling his arms around her again Eve bit her lip knowing he was feeling the same way.

  “I hope there will be some romance Mr Haysham.”

  “I thought after ten years of marriage I didn’t have to be romantic.” Eve laughed as she stepped into the car knowing that he’d been watching every move. As he joined her, he kissed her again feeling that Eve had some way worked all of the darkness out. As they pulled away, she felt an old presence, and as she turned feeling like she had seen a shadow at their bedroom window.

  “Everything ok?” Eve looked back unable to grasp hold of the feeling and dismissing it as nerves she turned back to face him.

  “I’m sure it’s nothing.” Desperately trying to reassure herself she looked around one further time and as the feeling subsided Eve put it down to her conscience playing tricks and settled to enjoy the short ride to the hotel.

  As the curtain wafted in the gentle breeze, Jacob stood at Eve's bedroom window observing her thoroughly. Deep in thought, he flicked his finger around in a circular fashion rewinding the day as if it was on sky plus.

  “Why are we watching this?”

  “Shut up and do what I ask or else go back to the Brow.” Angel stood impatiently with her arms folded as Jacob scorned her like a naughty school girl. As he walked down the stairs, he replayed the memory taking in Eve as if she was a painting to be admired.

  “You pleaded with him to stay! You pleaded with him to stay, and you never felt my presence.” Flicking his finger for the second time, he sat on the couch and watched again as she poured her heart and feelings over Paul.

  “Can we just collect her now. I’m starting to get very bored of all this stalking shit.” Taking her by the throat, Jacob threw her outside onto the front lawn.