“So you prefer to lie on your back with some man you don’t love pumping away between your legs? That’s not dirty and lowdown and shameful?”
“Lorna, tell her she’s wrong to even suggest I do that to Jamie.”
Lorna winces. “I would say it’s a horrendous thing to do under different circumstances but in your situation I don’t think it’s that bad. It would probably make Jamie really happy.”
He admitted he’d thought about and liked the idea of me being his wife and giving birth to his child. Can’t say that didn’t feel good.
“I know my brother. He would be thrilled if you were having his baby.”
“I can’t do that to him. Even if I thought it was a fantastic idea, I’m on the pill. There’s no way I could get pregnant and have a positive test before I’m on the block for claiming.”
Westlyn laughs as she points at me. “You did the math in your head. You’re thinking about it.”
“Only so I could prove it isn’t possible.”
“Okay. I threw the idea out there. What you do with it now is up to you. But I’d like to put in a request for a niece. Girl clothes are so much cuter.”
I can’t.
Can I?
I shouldn’t.
Should I?
Would I look at Jamie down the road and feel guilt or regret forcing him into marriage if we’re together and happy? I’m not sure.
If I got pregnant and forced him into a marriage, I would be looking at him down the road. Not someone else. And I know I would never regret that.
Chapter 11
Jamie Breckenridge
“Your kids are little cockblockers.”
“You think I don’t know that? They blocked you two nights, Jamie.” Sin holds up a pair of fingers in a V. “Two. Nights. They thwart me almost every night. I’m lucky if I get to fuck my wife twice, maybe three times, a week. And that only happens if the moon and stars align perfectly.”
I’ve been under the impression that Sin and Bleu are leading these perfect lives where they’re on top of the world, but stepping into their roles the last couple days has shown me otherwise. They have it rough with those babies. “I didn’t know bairns could be little arse kickers like those three. Well, really two; Lourdes was pretty good and slept most of the night. It was those damn little twin hell-raisers who had no mercy on us.”
“My boys can raise hell when they don’t get their tit.”
“Well, I can raise hell too when I don’t get mine.”
“Whoa. Whoa. Back it up.” Leith puts his drink on the table and leans closer. “You’re getting tit from somebody?”
Sin brings his hand down on my shoulder and shakes me. “Our boy here is fucking my sister-in-law.”
I wasn’t planning to keep our relationship secret from Leith but this isn’t the way I planned to tell him. “It’s way more than that.”
“Is this the same sister-in-law who’s on the claiming block? The same sister-in-law that every unmarried arsehole coming through this bar is talking nonstop about?”
I immediately suspect that Logan has been running his mouth about his suspicions. “What are they saying about her?”
“They want her. Every last one of them. Kenrick had to come across the bar last night and break up a brawl between two brothers because they were arguing over which one of them was going to win her.” Win her? She’s not a fucking prize for a winner at the end of a game.
Of course they want her. Everyone wants her.
Including me.
The brothers desire Ellison for her outward beauty, as I once did, but they don’t see what’s beneath her surface. They don’t know her kind heart. Her strength. Her humor.
Ellison is foreign to them. Fresh. New. Intriguing.
She’s a door, slightly ajar—far more intriguing than an open one.
She’s a strong whisky in a dainty coffee cup that reads Fuck off.
She’s an angel with a hint of devil.
I wear her invisible bite marks all over my flesh where she’s marked her territory. I am hers. She owns me—heart, body, and soul.
Leith doesn’t understand that he’s pouring salt into my wound. “I don’t want to hear this shite.”
“I had no idea you had claimed Ellison or I would have immediately put a stop to all the talk going around about your lass.”
“I haven’t claimed her.” It pains me to say those words aloud.
Leith looks at me with narrowed eyes. “But you’re going to, aye?”
“I want to.”
“That wasn’t an affirmative.”
I shouldn’t have to explain this to Leith. “She’s going to need extra protection I’m not sure I can give her.”
“You’re fucking her although you might not claim her. You know the risk that goes along with that. Does she understand that you’ll ruin her? That none of the brothers will be willing to take her as a mate if they know you’re ramming your cock up in her?”
“Watch it, Leith.” The only reason my fist isn’t meeting his face is because he’s my best mate but I won’t tolerate another comment like that one.
“What is it, Jamie? Don’t like hearing crude remarks about your lass? Newsflash. That’s the least of what the brothers will say about her if anyone outside our circle of friends finds out you’ve had her.”
I haven’t told Sin about the incident with Logan. It happened right before Bleu went into the hospital. It felt wrong—and trivial—to bring it up while she was so ill.
But it’s time to come clean. “There could already be reason for concern. It happened when Logan came to the infirmary for stitching.”
“That was days ago. You’ve not mentioned it.”
“Bleu has been top priority the last couple of days.”
“With everything going on the last couple days, I can understand why you wouldn’t have said anything about it until now. What happened?”
I recall the rush of anger-jealousy-possessiveness when I stormed into the house and saw him on the bed with Ellison standing between his legs tending his wound. It was a collection of emotions I’d never experienced at the same time. I hated the fusion of insecurity and mistrust happening inside me in that moment. I hated wondering if she liked being close to him. Touching him.
“Logan was there when I arrived. It pissed me off, and I’m certain he could tell.”
Sin looks amused. “That doesn’t mean he knows.”
Ellison and I are like fire and gasoline. Magnet and steel. Earth and gravity. “The pull between Ellison and me has been building for almost a year. We went from hiding our feelings to full-on fucking like there’s no tomorrow. We live in the same house and share a connection that’s incredibly natural and strong and comfortable. It’s second nature to speak to her as though she’s my mate. Logan picked up on our close relationship and called me out on it when Ellison was out of the room.”
“And your response was?”
“I admitted nothing.” I pause a moment before continuing. “But I also denied nothing. And I purposely smirked when he asked if I was fucking her. I wanted him to suspect so he’d back off of Ellison.”
“Fuck, Jamie.” Sin growls. “If you don’t claim Ellison, you’ve fixed it so no other brother will either. Was that your plan when you came to me about the infirmary?”
I can’t believe Sin thinks I would do something like that. Although, perhaps I have given him just cause in this situation. “Absolutely not. It would kill me to see the woman I love with another man but I want the best for her. I never intended for Ellison being branded fuck-worthy to keep a brother from marrying her.”
Sin closes his eyes and rubs his lids. “Her only hope for a good match at this point would be if Logan has kept this to himself. He isn’t one for stirring trouble. It’s possible he hasn’t said anything.”
“I let my jealousy control my actions. It was foolish. I admit that.”
“I haven’t heard any talk floating around the bar about this. I think L
ogan has kept quiet so far.” If anything were going around, the whisky bar would be the first place you’d hear about it. Tongues become loose in this place.
“We need to keep it that way, so your job is to fix this with Logan. Immediately.”
I hate the thought of telling him there’s nothing between Ellison and me. It’ll only fuel his drive to claim her. But I have to do what’s best for Ellison’s future. If I have to eat crow to make this right for her then I will.
“I’ll take care of it tonight.”
“Why take care of this shite at all? You’ve already admitted you love her so why not claim Ellison as your mate? She’s becoming one of us and needs a husband anyway so go on and marry her, for fuck’s sake.”
I guess that does sound easier to Leith, but like always, he hasn’t considered the consequences. He never does, and that’s why he’s in the mess he’s in with Lorna. “Think about it, Leith. She’s our leader’s sister-in-law. What does that make her?”
“Your cousin’s wife’s sister.”
“No, you smart-arse. She’s a target for The Order—a huge one they’d love to get their hands on. I’m a doctor. What good am I for protection if they decide to come for her while I’m out on a call that can’t be handled at the infirmary? She suffers because of me. She dies because of me. I don’t choose that for her.”
“Who is this pussy and what has he done with Jamie Breckenridge—a badass motherfucker who isn’t afraid of some Order members?”
“I love Ellison and I’ll hand her over to a brother who can protect her better than I can if that’s in the best interest of her staying alive. If you think that makes me a pussy, then fuck you. My decision isn’t the easy way out. You have no idea what kind of hell I’m going through.”
“The hell I don’t. The Order came on my turf and tried to take Lorna. Do you remember what I did? This whisky bar owner killed two of the three fuckers in here and then went after the third one that escaped. I did it. Me. Not a Fellowship foot soldier. Not a gunner or guerrilla. Not some guard assigned to watch over Lorna. I protected her. When they came back and tried again, who took a bullet to keep them from getting her? Me. I don’t want to hear a word about how you can’t take care of Ellison. That’s shite.”
Everything Leith just said is true. He has saved Lorna on two separate occasions. And Greer once. The Order didn’t get their hands on them because of him—a whisky bar owner. Not a fighter.
“Well that adds a shite load of confusion to what I’m already feeling.”
“Don’t count yourself out because you’re a doctor instead of a soldier.”
Leith has made some valid points worthy of thought. “You’ve given me new considerations to take into account.”
“I know all too well what it’s like to not get the girl. I don’t want that for you, mate.”
Greer comes to our table and rubs her hands over Leith’s shoulders in an overtly friendly manner. “Looks like we need another round here.”
I could definitely use another drink. “Stat.”
“No worries. You know I’ve got the trio covered.” Greer squeezes Leith’s shoulder and leans down so her mouth is against his ear. “Just a whisky for you, boss?”
“Aye.”
“O… kay then.”
Greer’s aggressive behavior makes me question the sincerity of Leith’s love for Lorna. “Are you still shagging her?”
“Not since the day everything went down with Lorna.” That was almost a year ago.
The interaction I just witnessed didn’t look like that of two people who are no longer intimate. “She’s rubbing your shoulders like you just bent her over the desk in your office and gave her a good reaming.”
“Swear to God I haven’t touched her.” Leith looks at Greer fetching our drinks at the bar and then back at us. “I think I may have to let her go. She won’t take no for an answer.”
Sin chuckles. “Leith Duncan is going to fire a barmaid because she wants to fuck. That’s a new one.”
Leith lowers his head. “I’m pretty sure Lorna knows I used to shag Greer.”
“Of course Lorna knows. You paraded Greer in and out of your office in Lorna’s face.” I actually applaud how Sin shows no mercy as he reminds Leith of what he did to hurt Lorna.
Leith groans as he leans back in his chair and presses his palms against the sides of his head. “I’m so fucking sorry for everything I did to her.”
“Bleu mentioned something a few days ago. You still employ Greer, the woman you used to fuck in your office while Lorna took over her workload. Think about what kind of message that sends.”
Leith closes his eyes. “Shite. That’s bad.”
“I’ve heard you say a thousand times you want Lorna back as your head barmaid. Do you really think she’s going to come back as long as Greer is here? But let’s pretend she caves and returns to her old position. How many times would she watch Greer rub on you before she told you to fuck off?”
“Greer has to go. I can’t let her be the catalyst that drives Lorna further away.”
“I rarely see Lorna since she left the bar.” It’s like she fell off the face of the earth. “What is she doing now?”
“Hating me.”
“Lorna hates what you did to her. Not you. Big difference.”
“I hate you, you son of a bitch. That sort of leads me to believe she could.”
I’ve seen the love Lorna has for Leith. It’s powerful but she is a stubborn, headstrong lass. She wears her pain like stilettos, only allowing you to see the beauty while she hides the pain.
“Lorna only said that because she was embarrassed. You yanked her off stage in front of a crowded audience of brothers.”
Leith asked Sin and me to go to the strip club with him that night in case anything went down. The fight he and Lorna had afterwards was bad. Very bad.
Leith pounds his chest with his hands. “What she should have been embarrassed about was her tits hanging out for all the brothers to see.”
“She wasn’t topless.” Yet.
“She was untying the string when I got up there. She was about to show her tits to every brother in the audience.”
Why can’t Lorna see that she was hurting herself as much as she was hurting Leith? “You stopped her. She didn’t show them anything they wouldn’t see if she were at the beach wearing a bikini.”
Leith sits back in his chair, shaking his head. “She’s still so damn angry. I know I fucked up but how long is she going to punish me? It’s been almost a year.”
“I don’t know, mate.” I’ve been told women have long memories.
“I love the fuck out of her. I just want to take her in my arms and tell her how sorry I am, but she won’t even let me do that. She refuses to listen to anything I have to say.”
There’s always been a storm brewing with Leith and Lorna. I saw it coming when the three of us were fucking her. It’s why I stopped. I didn’t want to be there when the shite went down.
Sin was somewhat of a selfish bastard back then so he was completely oblivious to what was happening between Leith and Lorna. I should have said something. I should have warned him to stop before it was too late. But I was silent because I didn’t want to rock the boat. I will always regret that decision. What we did with Lorna will always hang over our heads.
Sin and Leith healed their relationship after Bleu insisted they talk about their troubles. But I’ve never had that conversation with Leith. I’ve never asked him to forgive me. I’ve never asked him to put my past with Lorna behind us.
And I haven’t told Ellison what I did with one of her best friends. Granted, it happened before I knew her but it isn’t pretty. I don’t know what she’ll think about it.
“You need to show Lorna you don’t see her as a whore. Romance her.”
“Hard to romance someone who won’t give you the time of day.”
“I’m sure women like romance, but Ellison told me that she wants an alpha who takes what he wants and is u
napologetic about it. A man in control. Maybe it’s time you stopped giving Lorna the option of ignoring you.”
“My wife is tough but she likes being dominated when it comes to sex.” Sin shrugs. “Jamie could be onto something here. Maybe you don’t give her the option of not listening.”
“Oh, looky here. It’s the motherfucking titty police.”
Neil and Ross. I hate those fuckers. Always getting drunk here at Duncan’s and mouthing off about some nonsense.
“Titty Police. What’s that supposed to mean?” Leith asks the question but we all know what Neil is referring to.
“It means I looked at Lorna’s tits through her pub uniform the entire time she worked for you, and I was finally going to get to see them bare. Maybe even get a handful of them for the right kind of tip, but you fucked it up for me.”
Oh, shite. That was the wrong thing to say to Leith.
“You, motherfucker.” Leith springs up from his chair, flipping it backward on to the floor, as he lunges at Neil with a clenched hand ready to take a swing. Leith’s fist makes contact with the center of Neil’s face. I instantly recognize the broken nose before the blood gushes or the moaning begins. You just don’t go around starting fights with someone who’s been boxing for as long as us. Dumb fucker.
Sin and I get up from the table to move away from the brawl going down and Ross charges, knocking me to the floor and landing on top of me. Oh, fuck no. Shite’s not going down like this.
I flip us over so I’m on top and punch the bastard three good times before I feel a sharp pain to my right bicep. And then I see the blood. The motherfucker knifed me. I grab his wrist and slam it against the floor, freeing the blade from his hand, before I get to my feet and kick the shite out of him.
I hear Sin’s commanding voice over my shoulder. I hate when he uses that tone on me. “Stop, Jamie. We need Ross to fight in the takeover. He won’t be able to do that if you maim or kill him.”
I get one last kick in on Ross. “Arsehole can go to the emergency room. I’m not treating the fucker who knifed me for no good reason. Don’t care if he’s drunk or not.”
Sin Series Stand-alone Novels: Endurance, Unintended & Redemption Page 14