Suddenly Single

by Carol Wyer

  ‘Go on.’

  ‘You can be whoever you want to be if you face up to your fears. You can reinvent yourself, so to speak. I also discovered I am actually both of those women – the quiet, frumpy one and the fun-loving one. I enjoy a good time but I also crave some semblance of normality and a quiet life. I can only be crazy for so long before I need to relax back into my other identity.’

  Chloe’s mouth dropped open slightly. The Jacqueline she thought she knew had only been in existence a short time. Was it that easy to change? Jacqueline’s voice was back, less confident again.

  ‘What do you think I ought to do, Chloe?’

  ‘You’ve answered your own question. If you need to be grounded and want normality, you should continue seeing Sean. He’ll offer you the chance to be whichever one of those two women you feel like being on any given day.’

  ‘I’m so glad I spoke to you. I was sure you’d understand. I didn’t want the other women at the singleton club knowing about it. You won’t say anything to Sean, will you?’

  ‘I promise I won’t.’

  ‘You’re looking after the shop later, aren’t you?’

  ‘That’s right. He’s picking up Suzy from school and then taking her to McDonald’s in Lichfield.’

  ‘Do you think he’d mind if I pitched up?’

  ‘I think they’d both be very pleased to see you.’

  ‘Then, I think I’ll surprise them both. I’ve got some outrageous pink nail varnish for Suzy. She admired mine the last time we met, so I bought her a bottle the same colour.’

  After thanking her, Jacqueline hung up. Chloe thought of Nanny Olive who would have applauded Jacqueline’s words and commented on how far Chloe had come. She’d have got along well with Jacqueline, and Faith too, and been very happy that her granddaughter had made such good friends. She reread the paragraph she’d been writing. Laila was chuckling with her partner about the rude sculpture they’d created and he was flirting with her, their knees touching underneath the table. She was fully aware that the person sat next to Laila was a Canadian popstar who was based on Sean, and that she’d been gradually working their relationship into the script. She hoped Jacqueline took her advice. William had a record of letting down women he professed to care about.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Saturday, 10th March

  Eleanor shook her head. ‘What a bloody shame! It won’t be the same without Alex. Fairfax is going to stand in for him so we keep the numbers balanced.’

  ‘Is he ill?’ Chloe asked the question, knowing full well she was the reason Alex wasn’t coming along to the event today. She hadn’t seen him all week and it was only when she clambered into Fairfax’s truck that she’d found out he’d texted Eleanor to say he wasn’t coming.

  ‘Said he has some important business to attend to.’

  ‘Oh.’ Chloe hoped Eleanor didn’t spot the tell-tale reddening of her cheeks. She felt guilty for her part in it. Alex would probably never attend another event and it was all her fault. She hoped the journalists who attended the archery day had worked their magic and Eleanor would soon get lots of interest in the club. She didn’t dare broach the subject in front of Fairfax in case he was still unaware how poor interest had been.

  ‘Still, we can’t expect everyone to make every event, can we? We try to put them on at convenient times – weekends, evenings and so on – but not everyone can be available. There are always other commitments.’ Her breezy confident tone led Chloe to suspect she hadn’t come clean to Fairfax who pulled a face and, adopting the voice of the late Sir Bruce Forsyth, claimed anyone who didn’t come along today would be missing, ‘a good game… good game.’

  Their destination was a clay pigeon shooting ground, and before long all the singletons were being kitted out with guns, earplugs and ear defenders.

  Kaisha edged closer to Chloe. She’d not spent a great deal of time with Kaisha who was always a little vague and distant. They’d chatted briefly but neither was terribly talkative so it came as surprise when Kaisha asked her, ‘Do you think I’m too geeky?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Good. I’ve tried hard not to be. My mum always says I’m too serious and geeky and that’s why men shy away from me. I’ve never had a boyfriend. She thinks it’s unnatural. She’d had a few boyfriends at my age and was already married. That was before my dad left her. She wanted me to apply for that show, Love Island, and try to snare a guy that way, but I don’t look like a supermodel and the thought of sharing a bed with a stranger and being filmed doing it doesn’t appeal at all. What happens for example if you fart in the night or sleep with your mouth open and snore loudly and that gets broadcast, or if you talk in your sleep? Nightmare.’ Her dark curls shook gently as her head moved side to side.

  ‘I think they cut that sort of stuff out. It wouldn’t do to embarrass the contestants,’ said Chloe who had a penchant for the show and admired anyone willing to strut around in a micro bikini for several weeks on national television.

  ‘I only watched one episode. It’s not my thing.’

  ‘What do you enjoy watching?’

  ‘Not much. I’d rather play a game than watch television. I prefer the virtual world to the real one we’re destroying bit by bit. You know we’re completely annihilating our oceans? Not satisfied with cocking up the surface of the planet with our polluting ways, we’ve dumped our poisonous junk into the oceans and are killing of all the inhabitants there, yet we still send rockets into space and talk about building settlements on Mars! It’s bonkers.’

  Chloe was beginning to understand why she had difficulty finding a boyfriend: she really was quite serious.

  ‘Mum insisted I join this club. She says I need to get out more and she thinks that sitting around in virtual chatrooms is unhealthy for me.’

  ‘You enjoying it so far?’

  Kaisha shrugged. ‘It’s okay I s’pose.’

  Chloe remembered skating around in almost silence with Kaisha at the first event she’d attended until the girl had apologised and said she wasn’t too good at conversations and Chloe had replied similarly. They’d laughed and in the last few minutes of the skate date she’d learned Kaisha was still living at home with her mother. She worked in technology but what she did was a mystery.

  ‘What do you do for a job, Kaisha?’

  ‘I’m chief designer for a leading car manufacturer. I help develop the software that goes inside cars. It’s all a bit hush-hush. Can’t let our competitors know what we’re up to. I spend most of my days behind a computer. We’re all a bit secretive there about what we’re doing so it’s not exactly a hot spot for chatting with work colleagues.’

  Chloe shut her mouth quickly. Kaisha was some sort of genius! She ought to try and wangle something into her book to that end.

  ‘You ever been shooting before?’

  The curls jiggled again. ‘I’m not into hunting, shooting or fishing. I’m a conservationist. Although I shoot people virtually. I level up pretty quickly on shooter games. That’s different though, isn’t it?’

  ‘You’ll probably still be a good shot here and at least there are no animals to kill.’

  Kaisha gave a grave nod. Chloe was called over for her equipment and left Kaisha staring into space. She was such a pretty girl, yet seemed lost in her own world and too blinkered to see that Tim had been looking hopefully in her direction.

  * * *

  Divided into two teams, Chloe was pleased to find Sean on her side and William on the other, although Jacqueline looked uncomfortable to find herself on William’s team. Each team had to hit as many flying clay ducks thrown into the air and running rabbit clays hurled at ground level as possible.

  Chloe found herself cheering at each splattered clay, especially when Kaisha hit every single one of hers, blowing them into tiny fragments. She didn’t fare so well and only chipped one of her clays. William rolled his eyes dramatically as she returned from her position, and made a sad face similar to an unhappy clown’s. She shru
gged. She wasn’t the worst there and she was angry he’d made a play for Jacqueline so soon after declaring he still had feelings for her. William was definitely a leopard who couldn’t change.

  William’s team won and having taken it upon himself to be team leader he took the victory as his own and congratulated all his teammates with hearty handshakes and hugs, holding Jacqueline in an embrace longer than the others.

  Back in the hut, Jacqueline drew Chloe to one side.

  ‘He had the bare-faced cheek to try it on again. He offered me an emerald green pen and said it reminded him of my eyes! I told him where to poke it! I’m glad I made my choice. Sean was so pleased to see me at McDonald’s the other day and we went bowling afterwards – all three of us. I have a feeling this is going somewhere. Thanks for letting me dump on you.’

  Chloe couldn’t help but offer a small smile. She ought to be thanking Jacqueline for making her feel wanted. ‘I have everything crossed for you both.’

  ‘We’re going out again tomorrow on our chocolate-making date and I can’t wait.’

  ‘Jacqueline, can I have a quick word about your bike?’ Fairfax said, appearing from behind her.

  Chloe moved off to let them talk and, passing Tim who was chatting to Kaisha, went outside for some air. It was a crisp day and the range was surrounded by trees, dark twisted shapes with curled wooden arms and skeletal fingers stretched to the sky waiting for their foliage to appear and unfurl and cover them in green glory. She wandered across to a track leading into a wood and inhaled the musty scent as she kicked up dried leaves and moss. There was a hint of spring in the air bringing its message of hope. She loved the season when snowdrops, crocus and tiny daffodils would push through the damp grass announcing the beginning of a new cycle of life. She searched for any but saw nothing yet. It wouldn’t be long. She’d plant spring bulbs in her garden. Ed had already suggested the perfect location – in full view of her kitchen window so she could look out onto them every morning.

  ‘Hey!’

  The voice made her start. William, hands thrust deep in his pockets, breathed in deeply. ‘Love the smell of the woods. Reminds me of all our walks.’

  A tidal wave of memories threatened to drown her – walks hand-in-hand through wooded glades, passionate kisses under a canopy of leaves, her heart overflowing with love for the man beside her. They’d taken many walks in areas frequented only by the odd dog-walker. She held her breath and waited for the images to evaporate.

  ‘I can’t do this, Chloe.’ Getting no response, he continued. ‘I can’t live without you.’

  A knot twisted in her stomach.

  ‘Leaving you was the biggest mistake of my life. One I regret enormously. You are the only woman for me. I still love you, Chloe.’

  How she wanted to believe those words. She shot a look at his face, full of sincerity. William understood her personality and knew every intimate detail. They’d shared memories and secrets, and loved each other with passion. He’d helped her when she had bad days due to her disorder, but did she really need him? Jacqueline’s words flooded back to her: she didn’t have to be the person who struggled to socialise. In truth, she’d already transformed from that person. Like Jacqueline, she’d reinvented herself. Yes, she still found some situations too difficult to handle but she’d changed nevertheless.

  ‘Think about it. Maybe you could give us another chance. You know I don’t give up easily. I’ll bring you a pen and ask you again and again until you answer yes.’ He held up an emerald green pen. The corners of his mouth turned upwards and his eyes widened, an earnest look that would once have melted her but this time she found herself unimpressed. He’d tried with Jacqueline and failed, and had decided to give poor old Chloe another shot. The knot inside her burst and inflamed her stomach with heat. How dare he think she’d be so weak as to fall back into his arms with gratitude, especially after chasing after Jacqueline. And who would come next? There’d always be somebody to attract his eye: another Lilly, another adventurous Jacqueline, any woman who was exciting and different would appeal to William.

  She faced him and was rewarded with a wide triumphant smile. He cocked his head and raised arms to draw her to him. She moved closer to him, lifted her hand and smacked him hard across his face. ‘How bloody dare you? Fuck off, William. Fuck off out of my life.’

  She turned on her heel and marched back to the hut where Eleanor and Sean now standing outside had observed the entire scene.

  ‘Don’t ask,’ said Chloe. ‘He had it coming.’

  ‘Want me to drive you home?’ Sean asked.

  ‘If you wouldn’t mind. That alright with you, Eleanor? You probably have to wait until everyone leaves.’

  Eleanor’s brow furrowed. ‘Sure. You are okay, aren’t you?’

  ‘Never been better.’

  ‘I’ll just tell Jacqueline I’m off.’ Sean disappeared quickly. William had vanished from sight, presumably back to the car park or into the woods to nurture his bruised ego. Chloe couldn’t have cared less. Eleanor shuffled a type of square dance, mouth opening and then closing. Chloe spared her discomfort.

  ‘Don’t worry. I’m not upset.’

  ‘Good. Good.’

  ‘Pissed off at him but not upset.’

  The door opened and Sean emerged. ‘Thanks again for organising it, Eleanor. It was huge fun.’

  ‘It really was,’ said Chloe.

  Eleanor’s head bounced up and down as if on a spring. ‘Good. I’m so glad.’

  * * *

  ‘Want to talk about it?’ Sean’s calm voice drifted towards her as she strapped herself into his passenger seat. Somebody had hung an air freshener smiley face from the rear-view mirror. It swung side to side, hypnotising her with its ridiculously happy grin. She felt like returning it.

  ‘He came onto me. Gave me some bullshit about wanting me back but I didn’t fall for it. I’ve heard he’s been asking out other women.’ She wasn’t going to offer up Jacqueline’s name. Jacqueline might not have told Sean about William.

  ‘I heard too. I didn’t want to say anything to you about it.’

  Her forehead wrinkled. ‘Who told you?’

  ‘Tim. He spotted William with his arm around a striking blonde in the Bullring Shopping Centre last week. Tim waved at them but William didn’t notice. Tim was complaining earlier. Said it was a bit of a cheek coming these events if he wasn’t single. He was going to mention it to Eleanor. Don’t know if he has.’

  The woman might have been anyone but Chloe suspected it was Lilly. She pressed her lips tightly together to prevent comment. What was William’s game? The answer evaded her. Maybe he simply enjoyed the thrill of the chase. Some men did. Whatever he was doing, she had little interest in it. She had a book to write, and she wasn’t going to stop going to the singleton events even if it meant seeing him there.

  ‘Suzy talked about Jacqueline all the way to school. I reckon she’s taken to her.’

  ‘You spoken to her about moving?’

  ‘We had a heart-to-heart. You were right to get me to talk to her. Poor kid’s been in a bit of a state about leaving everyone she knows, but she’s up for it and still definitely wants to be with her mom and new brother or sister. She’s pretty excited about the baby. Funny, you never know what children are thinking. I figured she’d be feeling left out with the arrival of this new addition but instead she’s looking forward to meeting it and helping out with it and being a big sister.’

  ‘What about you?’

  ‘She doesn’t want to desert her old dad. That was one of the main issues. She was worried I’d slip back into my old ways and be lonely and lost with her gone. I think that’s one of the reasons she likes Jacqueline so much. She sees Jacqueline as somebody who’ll look after me when she’s in France. We’re talking about her coming over for a month in the summer and a couple of weeks at Easter and a week at Christmas. Schools get a couple of weeks off the end of February too, so I could go over there and take her skiing. Not been skiing sin
ce I left Canada. I always fancied teaching her. There are some ace ski resorts over there. It’ll be tough without her but I’ve worked out I’ll be seeing her pretty much the same amount of time, more if I go over for my holidays or a long weekend. I might buy a little pied-à-terre near where they’ll be living, so Suzy can stay with me when I’m there.’

  ‘That’d be great.’

  ‘It was Jacqueline’s idea. She reminded me I don’t have to be glued to Uttoxeter and that the world’s a big place and property can be picked up fairly cheaply over there. Seemed a neat idea. I’ll probably rent one of those bed and breakfast places in the area to start with and look around to see what I can afford. So it’s not the end of the world I thought it might be.’ He patted the steering wheel with the flat of his hands in a drumroll.

  ‘You’ll be able to be in the shop on Wednesday afternoons again,’ said Chloe.

  ‘You want to quit on me?’

  She shook her head. ‘No, but you won’t need me.’

  ‘I thought I might still take the afternoon off, put the time to good use. If things continue with Jacqueline, we’ll have to leave the singleton club and start looking for activities of our own to enjoy. She wants to try out golf and says I’d make an ideal caddy for her.’ The deep chuckle that followed the statement only served to confirm Chloe’s suspicions that Jacqueline and Sean would make a good couple.

  ‘I’m thinking of leaving the club.’

  ‘William?’

  ‘If you and Jacqueline go it won’t be the same. Neats and Rob seem to be getting close too and I wouldn’t be surprised if Tim and Kaisha started dating soon. That’ll only leave Ed, Danielle and me.’

  ‘And Alex.’

  ‘He won’t be coming back. We had a misunderstanding,’ she said.