“I will certainly take that into consideration. In the meantime, I simply need to bear down on this manuscript and finish it out. I haven’t experienced this level of focus in months. I would like for her to read it when it is finished. She’s done a great deal to inspire this new work. Perhaps after that…” Henry glanced down at his hands as he trailed off, not yet wanting to confess to his friend that he’d already made his decision.
“Excellent!” Solomon clapped his large hands together in triumph. Henry flinched at the sound but his friend seemed not to notice. “I wish you the best of luck, my friend. You’d best get back to work, haven’t you?”
Solomon stood as if to excuse himself, frowning at Henry.
Henry chuckled ruefully. “Strange. You are usually scolding me for working too much. But thank you for hearing me out today. It did me more good than I thought it would. I promise I won’t put up boards on the door to keep you out anymore. But I will be quite busy until my manuscript is complete.”
“Understood.”
Solomon soon took his leave and Henry took his battered heart back to his study.
Chapter 13
Lord Overton appeared in their foyer once again to collect Juliet, this time for another trip to Gunter’s. Cecilia peered behind the earl, hoping that Lord Neil would finally walk up behind him.
Again, she was disappointed. There had been no sight or sound from the baron in nearly two weeks. She had no idea what she’d done wrong to cause such an abrupt silence. Her heart sank as she thought back to the theater, the last time she’d seen Lord Neil. Everything had seemed to go so well. She'd loved the play, and most of all she’d loved having him nearby and whispering her thoughts and impressions to him in between acts.
Perhaps that had annoyed him. Though he had shown her his sense of humor numerous times in the past, Cecilia couldn’t deny that he was largely a serious man, a deep thinker who admired all things artistic. Maybe sharing her opinions so frequently had been too distracting for him.
Her attention came back to the foyer as Lord Overton jovially greeted her parents. Cecilia looked to the front door once more, clinging to the tiny hope that perhaps Lord Neil was running late, that he would walk through the door at any moment.
Juliet glanced to Cecilia, her pale blue eyes conveying her regret on Cecilia’s behalf. She slipped her hand into Cecilia’s and gave it a quick squeeze before taking her place next to Lord Overton.
She smiled politely to hide her pain and bitterly wondered how she had come to be in this position. Just a few months ago, she had shrunk from the idea of attending these calls with Juliet because she found the baron’s presence to be awkward and uncomfortable, even when she tried to forge a friendship.
But now, tears pricked at the corners of her eyes, barely held back from spilling in front of her family and the Earl of Overton. Lord Overton had visited Juliet several times last week, and this was their third visit this week. Each time, Lord Neil had been absent and all Lord Overton could tell her was that he was indisposed. Once again, Cecilia was left behind.
“My lord,” she nearly whispered. She took a hesitant step toward the earl, her breath coming and going faster as her eyes desperately searched him for answers. “Please tell me…. Is Lord Neil well?” She hoped he would understand her real question beneath the polite query.
The way he swallowed and broke eye contact with her told Cecilia that he had interpreted her meaning correctly. “He is very well indeed. Exceedingly well. He has been terribly busy with some important matters.”
A cold shiver swept through her stomach as she stared at the man before her. He was tall, taller than Lord Neil, and certainly very handsome. After having spent many days in his company, she did not wonder that so many ladies of the ton desired his attention, and ultimately ended up heartbroken when he withdrew it. His good looks were merely a bonus to his winsome personality, to say nothing of his wealth and status.
But even as the earl stood just a few feet away from her, his probing brown eyes examining her expression, his auburn hair perfectly styled to emphasize his youthful yet angular features...
Cecilia felt that he lacked the baron’s calm, quiet, soothing presence that sometimes surprised her with its congenial and sharp-witted warmth. He lacked the ability to read her mind, for though he gazed into her eyes now she could see that they knew nothing of her mind. He lacked the deep-set eyes that understood her, and the handsome broad nose and square jaw and permanently ruffled dark hair. Simply put, he was not the baron.
“That is lovely to hear.” Cecilia’s lips pressed into a painful smile.
Suddenly everyone in the room felt very far away, as if Cecilia looked at them through a telescope. Her heart was torn in two as she stood in the foyer and watched Lord Overton escort her sister out into the bright London sunlight and their parents waved them off with gleeful anticipation.
As soon as the door shut, Mrs. Richards turned to her eldest daughter, the sparkle in her eye immediately dulling to a cold glint. “Cecilia, do you have any idea why the baron has stopped visiting with Lord Overton? What matters could be so important that he cannot find time to visit you?”
The questions felt like hot stabs in Cecilia’s stomach. Her mother had no idea how deeply those words affected her. Even if she did know, perhaps she wouldn’t have cared to spare Cecilia’s crumbling heart.
But Cecilia did not have the energy or the mental fortitude to come up with some quaint excuse. She was moments away from breaking and holding herself together took all her willpower.
“If you must know, Mama, I believe Lord Overton simply concocted a gentle excuse for his friend’s extinguished interest.” Cecilia abruptly turned on her heel and rushed out of the room.
“Ceci—!” Mrs. Richards called out, but Cecilia was already halfway up the stairs.
The moment Cecilia’s body hit her soft bed, the tears burst forth violently. She felt like the whole room must be shaking with her sobs. The worst feeling was not the fact that she missed Lord Neil deeply, but that she had been so blindsided by this sudden cold shoulder.
No matter how many times she analyzed their last meeting, the night at the theater, Cecilia could not for the life of her see where she had gone wrong.
Her best guess was that her chatter during the play had irritated him, but she’d saved any comments for the transitions between acts so as not to detract from the performance. But even when she considered that, she could discern no sense of irritation from him in her memories. In fact, Cecilia remembered very well the heat that crept up her neck as he sat behind her, aware of his eyes on her throughout the entire show. He had given no indication whatsoever that anything had been wrong.
Cecilia didn’t know how long she laid on her bed in the exact same position, her face buried in the blanket, nearly suffocating herself.
The tears did not stop, but somewhere in their midst she fell into a fitful sleep plagued by fragmented dreams of Lord Neil.
Pale sunlight tickled Cecilia’s eyelids open. She sat up in bed, rubbing her forehead as a pulsing headache made its presence known. Looking down at herself, she saw that she wore her nightgown. But her memory of the day before was so hazy that she couldn’t be sure when she had changed. It must have still been early afternoon when she’d fallen asleep.
She rang the bell and Violet appeared in the doorway in almost no time at all. She must have been particularly mindful of Cecilia’s call today.
“Good morning, Miss Richards.” She curtsied quickly at the door before shuffling over to the side of the bed. “How are you feeling today?”
Cecilia melted slightly at the concern in her maid’s voice. She must have been in an awful state yesterday, and it had been up to Violet to care for her during one of her lowest moments. Cecilia couldn’t help giving the young woman a pained smile.
“I haven’t been up long but so far I can tell that I have quite the headache. I’m afraid I don’t remember much of what happened yesterday after I took my i
mpromptu afternoon nap. Would you fill me in?”
Violet fussed about the tea tray on the bedside table while she spoke. “There’s truthfully not much to fill in, Miss Richards. You slept for a long time, and it didn’t seem right to disturb you so we left you in peace. I only woke you last night long enough to get you changed for bed, but you seemed rather in a fog so I’m not surprised you don’t remember it.”
Violet’s words jogged very dim memories in Cecilia’s mind and she realized how deeply this situation must be affecting her. And as if right on cue, Cecilia’s stomach announced itself to the room with a loud groan.
The maid stifled a giggle as she settled the tea tray over Cecilia’s lap. “Just in time. I imagine you must be ravenous after you ate so little yesterday.”
Cecilia’s mouth was already stuffed with buttered rolls, rendering her unable to reply.
“Shall I tell the Mistress that you’ll be joining them in the dining room shortly?”
A groan escaped from Cecilia in between bites of bread. She did not at all look forward to facing her parents after yesterday’s events, and what they would have to say about the situation. But she knew she couldn’t hide forever.
“Yes, I’ll join them for breakfast,” she said with a resigned sigh. “Mama will expect it.”
“Ah yes well...” Violet fluttered around the room, collecting Cecilia’s garments to ready her for the day.
Cecilia froze with a piece of toast halfway to her mouth. “What is it? What didn’t you tell me?”
“I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for me to say…” The maid glanced around the room nervously, her fingers worrying away at the edge of the petticoat still in her hands.
“You may speak to me freely, Violet. What happened?” A quiver of nerves rippled through Cecilia’s stomach.
“Miss Juliet had something of a row with the Mistress. She did want to wake you and discuss whatever had happened earlier, but your sister refused to allow her near your room.”
Violet looked nearly guilty as she told Cecilia the truth. The maid clearly cared for the family she’d served since she was a young girl, even if she wasn’t directly involved in any of their lives beyond dressing and fixing hair and fetching tea. Even still, Violet and the other staff knew far more about the family than they let on.
“I appreciate your discretion, but I appreciate your honesty even more. I know it is not comfortable to discuss such matters. I’m ready to be dressed now.” Cecilia hoped that Violet understood her sincerity.
In truth, Cecilia did consider Violet to be something of a friend, as close to a friend as a maid could be. She knew that Violet had only omitted the fight in order to protect her. But if Cecilia were to face her mother in a few minutes, she would rather know exactly what she would be dealing with.
Cecilia immediately noticed that only two people occupied the dining room when she walked in.
“Good morning, Cecilia.” Mrs. Richards’s cold greeting indicated anything but a good morning.
“Morning, my girl.” Mr. Richards at least tried to sound more cheerful, but even his usually robust voice seemed to quake in the midst of his wife’s simmering anger.
Cecilia mumbled a response as she went to the sideboard and filled a plate with herring and eggs. The numerous rolls and slices of toast she’d already had in bed had only partially satisfied her hunger.
Neither of her parents addressed her again as she sat across from her mother, but their demeanors were markedly different. Mr. Richards bent over his plate and quickly forked food into his mouth to avoid conversation, his eyes darting anywhere but his wife and daughter. Mrs. Richards sat straight backed, her neck long and taught, her fork gently poking the steaming food on her plate and raising it to her lips with severe grace.
Suddenly Cecilia’s appetite vanished as the uncomfortable air in the room surrounded her.
“Is Juliet down?” She finally broke the silence after struggling to swallow a dry bit of egg.
“I believe she has asked for a tray in her room.” The frost in Mrs. Richards’s voice chilled Cecilia. “And have you recovered from your indisposition yesterday?”
“Yes, thank you. I’m feeling much better this morning.”
“I’m most pleased to hear that. In that case, can you kindly explain your ill-bred outburst yesterday?” Mrs. Richards put her knife and fork down, the silverware gently clinking against the plate.
The color drained out of Cecilia’s face and her fork slipped from her hand. She knew she would have to address this, but she hadn’t anticipated it coming so abruptly.
“I don’t know what you have done to displease Lord Neil so severely when everyone could see that you have been closing in on securing a proposal.” Mrs. Richards launched into her right away, her eyes icy and her voice thick with scorn. “And it seems that his important matters are more important than you.”
Cecilia flinched, her jaw twitching as her teeth clamped down against each other. She knew what her mother said was exactly what her tortured mind had been thinking, but hearing it come from another person in such a hateful sounding way.... It cut her deeper than she could have imagined.
“As I made clear to you not long ago, if the baron did not ask for your hand, or if you chose to refuse him, your father and I would take matters into our own hands.
“If the baron does not personally request your company or call here with Lord Overton by the end of the week, we will begin seeking other suitors for you and you will graciously accept whatever match we choose.”
Cecilia had not thought that she could be made any lower than she already felt, but somehow her mother managed to slice through every trembling cord that barely held Cecilia’s heart together.
“I understand, Mama.” Cecilia’s voice trembled as she realized the hope she’d clung to for three years had finally come to an end.
Mrs. Richards stared at her daughter in silence for a few moments, her gaze calculating, determining her next course of action. Mr. Richards glanced furtively between the two women but kept his opinions to himself, as usual.
Cecilia had known her whole life that while Mr. Richards might be the head of the household in name, it was Mrs. Richards who was truly the force to be reckoned with.
“You have until the end of the week. If the baron does not seek you out in some way, you can expect to have a full schedule of engagements with other eligible gentlemen.” With that, Mrs. Richards pushed herself away from the dining table and left the room.
“Papa?” Cecilia mumbled weakly as she wiped at her face with a napkin.
Mr. Richards coughed uncomfortably and he too stood from the table. “I’m sorry, my girl. We think this is the best route. I had hoped that Lord Neil would win out. You two seemed to get on very well recently.
“But...you will need to marry, and soon. Our options will only continue to dwindle as the Seasons go by. You don’t really want to be a spinster, do you? I know many kind men who could provide a comfortable life for you, and finally bring our family into the finest circles. You’ll make your mother so happy. Wouldn’t that be nice, dear?”
He sounded resigned, pleading almost. Mr. Richards excused himself and left his daughter alone with those thoughts in the dining room.
Cecilia managed to stifle her tears long enough to make her way to Juliet’s room. But when her knock received no answer Cecilia grew concerned. Surely Juliet could not still be asleep. She pushed the door open slowly and quietly but still no one greeted her.
“Jules?” Cecilia peered into the room but there was no sign of her sister. Truly puzzled now, Cecilia stepped in and noticed a folded letter on the bed. She rushed forward and grabbed the piece of paper.
Sissy, I’ve gone for a carriage ride. I can’t bear to be in this house a moment longer. I shall be back in a few hours. If Mother cares to ask after me, inform her of my whereabouts.
The letter being directly addressed to her, Cecilia knew that Juliet didn’t expect their mother to look for her. Ind
eed, Mrs. Richards had seemed quite indifferent to her youngest daughter during breakfast. The fight they’d had must have been even worse than Violet indicated. They acted as if they were strangers sharing the same roof.
Cecilia folded the letter and took it back with her to her own room. As soon as she closed the door a fresh wave of tears hit her body. This was all too overwhelming, everything her mother had said now sinking into her very bones. And she didn’t have Juliet to comfort her when she needed her most. But her heart ached even more for the fact that Juliet was suffering through her own pain.
She could only hope now that whatever futures they faced, they would be able to endure them together.
As Cecilia had suspected, Lord Neil did not call upon her or invite her for an outing. Despite the cold attitude she’d adopted of late, Cecilia could see that her mother grew restless.
After her absence from breakfast and her spontaneous carriage ride a few days go, Juliet had put in her appearances during family meals and dutifully attended the dinner they’d already accepted an invitation to last night. But it was as if Juliet’s body went through the motions, devoid of her vivid mind and spirit. She spoke to Cecilia when Cecilia made a comment or asked a question, but her answers were short and dull—lifeless. At home, Juliet kept to her room nearly all day and did not answer the door for anyone.
Cecilia knew her sister, and she knew that something was deeply, deeply wrong. Yet Juliet avoided her, and Cecilia could not get close enough to find out what troubled her so.
She sobbed quietly in her room every day as a whirlwind of pain caused a storm in her overburdened mind. Her only solace now could be found in the drawing room. Whiling away at the pianoforte provided a modicum of relief and distraction from her woes.
Cecilia awoke on the third day, Lord Neil’s last chance to prove his intentions, with certainty in her stomach that the baron would continue his streak of silence, and tomorrow she would be whisked away by some other man of her parents’ acquaintance.
Behind The Baron's Mask: A Regency Romance (Resolved In Love Book 1) Page 17