A Mother Forever

by Elaine Everest

  ‘Everything is such a mess,’ she said out loud.

  Pat slipped her hand into her mother’s. ‘I haven’t made a mess, I’ve been very tidy,’ she said, ‘and look, I’ve taken off my bridesmaid’s dress, so it doesn’t get spoilt.’

  Ruby hugged her close. ‘I wasn’t talking about you, my darling. You’ve been such a good girl today. How about we go and visit Stephen at the shop? You need to take a look at George’s baskets. We’ve not been near the shop for a few weeks now.’

  Pat considered the suggestion. ‘You do know that George gave me the baskets, don’t you? If any books have been sold, then the money is mine,’ she beamed.

  ‘Then we must certainly go to the bookshop, but first you need to put some clothes on,’ Ruby laughed, causing her daughter to chuckle. ‘It’s rather too chilly to go out in your underclothes.’

  With luck, it would be quiet in the bookshop and Ruby would be able to pour out her heart to Stephen while Pat kept herself busy sorting out the unsellable books. Even if it was raining, the baskets would be just inside the door and away from where Ruby could talk in private.

  It was late afternoon as they set off through the town towards Pier Road. Already streetlamps were starting to be lit and there was a smell of smoke coming from the chimneys of the houses. Ruby usually liked this time of day, when thoughts were of heading home, closing the door on the world and settling down with family for the evening. Instead, her thoughts now were on her troubles and whether Stephen would be able to advise her.

  There was only one customer when they entered the shop; Ruby recognized her as a regular. She helped parcel up the latest purchases while Stephen took the money. After passing the time of day and chatting about George’s wedding, the lady bid her farewell.

  ‘I can tell this is not a social visit. You know we are never busy at this time of day, so you’ve not come to help me out,’ Stephen said, looking at her pale face. ‘Here, sit down. I’ll just turn the sign on the shop to closed, and you can tell me what’s troubling you.’

  She watched as he put the key in the lock of the door and reversed the sign to show they were closed. Although she’d only known Stephen for a couple of years, she knew whatever she said would not be passed on. Stephen’s family came from the West Country and, apart from Frank and a small group of their friends, Ruby was the closest family he had who knew of his relationship with Frank.

  ‘Now,’ he said, taking the other seat by the counter, ‘tell me why the mother of the groom has such a glum face.’

  Ruby shook her head despondently. ‘I really don’t know where to start. I assume Frank has explained to you about my Eddie and our situation since we moved to this area?’

  ‘Yes, I do know much of what has happened. We’ve never gossiped about your life, but it has come up in general conversation. You are like a sister to Frank. He once told me that if he ever thought of marrying, he would marry someone just like you, rather than some fussy flibbertigibbet who only thought about herself and the latest fashions.’

  ‘I’ll take that as a compliment,’ Ruby said, recognizing the words as exactly like something Frank would say. ‘I miss him so much already.’

  ‘As do I. He charged me with several duties that he wished me to carry out while he was gone; one of these was to take good care of you, and as I take my duties seriously, I insist that you tell me everything that’s bothering you. I’ll do my best to help.’

  Ruby poured her heart out to Stephen, ending with Stella telling her that Eddie was dead.

  Stephen exhaled slowly, scratching his head as he did so. ‘That is certainly a big problem. Most importantly, I’m sorry to hear about your husband. If it’s true, I’m saddened for your loss and that I’ll never meet him.’

  Stephen’s words had the effect of releasing the flood-gates, with Ruby sobbing until there were no tears left to shed. Stephen fussed around her, fetching a dry handkerchief and a cup of cold water to sip. She refused the brandy he placed in front of her.

  ‘I’m sorry,’ she gulped, trying to pull herself together. I had no one I could speak to about this and you are like a brother to me . . . I’ll be fine now – I have to be,’ she said, trying to straighten herself up and deciding to try a sip of the brandy. Grimacing, she handed it back. ‘How can people drink this?’ she spluttered. ‘Please go on with what you were saying. I’ll be all right now.’

  Stephen nodded, and after Ruby urged him to continue, he started to speak slowly. ‘Now, the way I see it, Stella is very fragile at the moment – I can’t even imagine what she’s going through, with one son dead, another at death’s door and a third heading off into hell carrying only a stretcher. As much as you want to talk to her, I feel it’s best you keep away. By all means let Pat go over there, but make sure the child knows that Stella is poorly and to keep the visit short. She’s a bright kid – she will understand. It does worry me that Derek could pass away without seeing a friendly face. He is in a hospital in Sidcup, you say?’

  ‘Yes, but I have no idea where it is. All Wilf told me was Queen’s Hospital in Sidcup.’

  Stephen rose and pulled out a large book from one of the shelves. ‘There are some maps in here. You do know Sidcup’s not far away, don’t you?’

  Ruby shook her head. ‘It could be Timbuctoo for all I know. I have no idea.’

  He flicked through the pages. ‘Ah, here we are,’ he said, beckoning her over. ‘Here we are in Erith, and over here is Sidcup.’ He pointed with a pencil. ‘It would be possible to travel over there to visit the patient and return in one day.’

  ‘It doesn’t look that far away when you look at it like that. But how would I get there?’

  ‘Now there lies the problem. If you leave it with me, I’ll ask around and find out more for you. Would that help?’

  ‘That would be wonderful. If I can visit Derek, it might give him a boost to know that someone cares. I could also go back to Stella and tell her how her son is – that is, if I’m not too late . . . And Derek may have news of my Eddie, and that would be a bonus. I can but hope,’ she said, as Stephen smiled at her outpouring of thoughts.

  ‘There is something else I want to speak to you about,’ Stephen said. ‘I feel you have too much time on your hands now that you don’t put in so many hours at the shop. We aren’t very busy these days, so it’s not as if I can ask you to come more often. But you do need to fill your time, Ruby, otherwise you will grieve for Eddie and it won’t be good for you, especially when we don’t know for sure if he has perished on the battlefield. Had you thought any more about war work? I know if it wasn’t for my own health problem, I’d have joined up in a shot, although I’d have elected, like Frank, not to be combative.’

  ‘I’ve thought so much about it, but I’m none the wiser. Seeing so many women take on men’s jobs, I feel I should play my part. But what can I do? Do you know of anything?’

  ‘It just so happens that a customer mentioned his sister is working in a munitions factory. It seems she enjoys the work and has made many friends, even though she’s never done manual work before. He is due to come into the shop next week to collect a book I’ve sourced for him. I could ask him if his sister would meet you and tell you more about the job. What do you think?’

  ‘I’ve read about the munitions workers in the newspaper – they seem to be a brave group of women, and I’d like to give it a go. Once I know more about it, that is. Thank you, Stephen. It sounds interesting.’

  ‘Why don’t I call round to see you in a couple of days? By then I should have found out details of how we can get you to Sidcup, and hopefully I’ll have news from my customer.’

  Ruby quickly agreed, feeling much calmer. She kissed his cheek, collected her daughter and left for home.

  Stephen watched Ruby and Pat as they walked down the street. Had he done right – not only by helping her work out how to see Derek, but by advising she work in such a dangerous place?

  He reached to the inside pocket of his jacket and pulled out a
folded sheet of paper. Inscribed upon it was a short list of wishes. Looking past his instructions of what to do if Frank should not return from the front, he looked at the short note that concerned Ruby. Stephen already knew that the shop should go to him, but there was a note added that said a certain percentage, if the shop was ever sold, was to go to Ruby, with Frank’s love. He was also expected to keep the basket of books and continue to call it ‘George’s baskets’, with any proceeds being passed to young Pat. What seemed to concern Frank most was Ruby’s well-being, and that was why Frank had sat down with Stephen and explained to him about his friend’s life since she came to Erith. He wanted Stephen to always look out for Ruby, to keep her occupied in the likelihood that her life should take a downward turn. He particularly wanted Stephen to find her some useful work that would keep her mind active and help her to feel as though she was contributing to society.

  Stephen picked up a pencil and went to place a tick next to the words, but then he held back. The job was not yet completed. Instead he replaced the list in his pocket, picked up his sheet of notepaper and quickly wrote a letter to the customer whose sister might be able to advise and help Ruby take the next step in her life. Once he had done that, he folded it and placed it into an envelope. Taking a postage stamp from the desk drawer, he checked the time on the clock that hung on the bookshop wall. He knew he had five minutes before the last post went, so he pulled the shop door to and ran across the road, posted his letter and returned to the shop. There was half an hour left before he needed to close up for the day; time enough to work out directions for Ruby to make her way to the Queen’s Hospital. With luck, what she found there would give her some kind of closure.

  Ruby smiled shyly as she walked into the tearooms. She was more a cafe type of person than one for eating dainty sandwiches and sipping tea in quaint teashops.

  ‘Over here, love,’ a woman called. ‘That’s if your name is Ruby?’

  ‘It is,’ Ruby smiled as she joined the women. ‘Which one of you is Cissie?’

  ‘That’s me,’ a rosy-cheeked, friendly-looking girl said as she pulled out a seat next to her. ‘Park yourself down there. The tea’s still hot,’ she added, passing the pot to Ruby. ‘We don’t come here often, but it’s Doreen’s birthday treat, and seeing as it’s Saturday we thought we’d celebrate in style, so to speak.’

  ‘Happy birthday!’ Ruby smiled as she poured milk into her cup. ‘It’s awfully good of you all to let me interrupt your celebrations like this.’

  ‘We don’t mind,’ the other girl at the table said. ‘I’m Jean, by the way. Do you come from around here?’

  Ruby nodded. ‘Yes, I live in Alexandra Road.’

  ‘Blimey, just down from us,’ Jean said. ‘Doreen and me live in Manor Road. Not in the same house, though,’ she laughed. ‘I have a husband in the army, and Doreen here lives with her mum and dad.’

  ‘Cissie lives in one of the big houses up South Road,’ Doreen pointed out. ‘She’s a bit posher than us.’ She hooted with laughter.

  ‘Don’t take no notice of them. Here, have a bun,’ Cissie said, sliding a plate across the table.

  Ruby accepted gratefully. ‘Thanks. I was that busy, I’ve not had anything to eat since breakfast time. I’ve been helping my daughter-in-law move in to the house next door to me, and I forgot the time.’

  In truth she’d been too nervous to eat anything. Meeting three strangers to chat about the W. V. Gilbert munitions factory that would hopefully help the war effort had put her nerves on edge. Was she biting off more than she could chew?

  ‘Blimey, you don’t look old enough to have a grown-up family,’ Jean said. ‘I’ve got two lads in the army,’ she added proudly.

  ‘My son, George, has just joined up. He got married before he left for the front. I also have a little girl who is coming up for seven. What about you two?’

  ‘Just one girl. I lost my husband last year at Ypres,’ Doreen said.

  ‘Oh, I’m so sorry,’ Ruby said. ‘I believe my husband died recently, too.’ It was an awkward situation to explain, but she felt that since she could be working closely with these women, she ought to be open about her life.

  Cissie wrinkled her nose as she absorbed Ruby’s words. ‘You believe?’

  ‘It’s complicated,’ was all Ruby could think to say. ‘I hope he’s safe, but until I find out I can’t really say, as I have no idea.’

  ‘Then you could be told wrong,’ Jean said. ‘There was a girl working in the next hut to us who received a telegram saying her husband was brown bread. Ten months later she had the fright of her life when he walked in the front door, large as life.’

  ‘Gosh – what did she say? Was she shocked?’

  ‘I think he was more shocked, as she’d moved in another chap and was up the duff,’ Jean hooted.

  Ruby joined in the laughter. These women seemed such fun. She did hope she could work with them. ‘What about you, Cissie? Do you have children?’

  Doreen nudged Ruby’s arm. ‘She’s saving herself for the right man,’ she grinned.

  ‘Far too busy dreaming about her handsome army officer,’ Jean added.

  ‘Shut up, the pair of you!’ Cissie blushed. ‘We’ve only passed the time of day, that’s all.’

  ‘What work have you been doing up to now?’ Jean asked Ruby.

  ‘I’ve mainly been working in my friend’s bookshop in Pier Road, but business isn’t as brisk as it used to be, so I’ve cut my hours right back. I could have looked for similar work, but I feel as though I should be doing something towards helping the war end. Doing my bit, if you know what I mean?’

  Cissie nodded her head enthusiastically. ‘That’s exactly how I felt. I’ve been down there two years now and I really enjoy the job.’

  ‘You can tell by the colour of the face,’ Doreen hooted. ‘Me and Jean are just doing it for the money; the pay is good and we get well fed. The hours aren’t too bad, either.’

  As Doreen spoke, Ruby looked more closely at the three girls’ faces. ‘Crikey,’ she said without thinking, ‘now that you mention it, your skin is quite yellow. Is that why they call you canaries?’

  ‘She’s a fast one,’ Doreen nudged Jean. ‘Just take a look at her hair,’ she added, lifting up Jean’s smart hat and showing a bright ginger band of hair at the front of her head.

  Cissie tutted. ‘If you covered your hair like you were told, it wouldn’t turn that awful colour.’

  ‘I think it looks quite nice,’ Ruby said, not wishing to be rude. ‘Tell me, do they supply overalls?’

  ‘They do, and we are covered almost from head to toe to protect us from the explosives,’ Cissie tried to explain as the other two girls chatted over her.

  ‘It’s to save us from being killed by the poison. I take it you don’t expect to have any more babies?’ Doreen asked with a glint in her eye.

  ‘Well, I hope not,’ Ruby said. ‘I’m getting a bit long in the tooth for that kind of thing. Why do you ask?’

  ‘They say that we swallow some of the explosives as we work, and it messes up our insides,’ explained Doreen, who seemed to relish telling such tales.

  ‘The bosses give us milk to drink. It’s supposed to help,’ Cissie said, seeing the alarm in Ruby’s face.

  Jean patted Ruby’s arm. ‘Don’t worry about it. They also say if we didn’t chat so much while we worked and kept our mouths shut, it would be safer. I hope we’re not putting you off?’ she said with a grin.

  ‘Oh no, I really want to do the job if I can. I just thought if I could talk to somebody who works at the munitions factory, I could get an idea of whether I’d be any good doing the work. And then I’d be more prepared and could decide if it was for me or not.’

  Cissie went on to explain more about their daily job and what to expect. ‘There is a special train that goes from Dartford station down to the works, which are by the banks of the Thames. Out on the marshes, past Slades Green.’

  Ruby frowned. ‘You mean I’ve got to catch
a train to Dartford as well as the special train, when I could almost walk down to the riverbank from where I live?’

  The girls chuckled. ‘No, we either walk or cycle. Going home, we can hitch a lift with one of the army lorries, although the drivers are getting crafty and will expect us to slip them tuppence. They don’t earn as much as us, the poor lads,’ Doreen explained.

  ‘May I ask what the money is like? I hadn’t given a thought about the wages.’

  ‘We get thirty shillings a week,’ Cissie said, ‘and five bob extra for working with dangerous materials. It’s much better than what the girls who work up at the Arsenal get.’

  Jean interrupted. ‘Don’t forget we get another five bob if we fill sixty shells a day. Once you get the hang of the job, it’s easy,’ she said, looking at Ruby’s shocked face. ‘What we tend to do is help the new girls, and those who aren’t as nifty with their fingers, so everyone benefits. We just don’t let the bosses know, or there’d be hell to pay.’

  ‘That seems very kind of you,’ Ruby said. ‘I take it everyone is in good spirits there?’

  ‘It’s a lovely place to work,’ Cissie assured her. ‘Why don’t you apply? You can walk down with us. I’ll show you the ropes and we’ll make sure to ask for you to be in our shed. There are lots of girls work there from round here, even some up your road.’

  Ruby nodded her head as she absorbed all the information. ‘I want to join you. I only really thought of working to help the war effort, but if I can earn some money and enjoy myself at the same time, all the better. I’ll go home and write a letter asking for an interview. There’s time to do that and catch the last post. But first, let me treat you all to some fresh tea and cake.’