by Ann Mcintosh
It turned out there was nothing more seriously wrong with his car than a loose connection, and he called her around lunchtime to say the garage was sending someone to pick him up.
“I’ll have my car back after work. The garage is not far from your place, so I thought I’d pick up some dinner and come by, if you’re up for it?”
Of course, she said, “Yes. I’ll see you then.”
At a loose end, she called her friend Cher, who worked from home and often had time during the day for a chat.
“I haven’t heard from you in ages. What’s going on? Still enjoying Miami? Although it must be almost time for you to head home.”
“Less than two weeks left,” she said.
Cher picked up on her tone, as only a good friend could.
“You okay? What’s wrong?”
She didn’t want to get into it; everything was too new and raw, but this was her oldest and most stalwart friend.
“Remember I told you about the man I went to that restaurant with?”
“Yes?”
“Well, I’ve been seeing him.”
“Regina Montgomery, what are you telling me? Seeing him, like casually? Or seeing him? Like all of him?”
Despite all her pain, she had to laugh at her friend’s way of expressing herself.
“Oh, I’ve seen every inch of him, and he is fine...”
The sound Cher made was somewhere between a whoop and a howl.
“Tell me everything, girlfriend.”
It was a relief to let it all pour out, just set it all free, and ease some of the anxiety and hurt. Cher had always been a good listener and in Regina’s corner, no matter what, and she was counting on her best friend to bolster her opinion of why a relationship with Mateo made no sense.
But Cher surprised her.
“I hear what you’re saying, Reggie.” Cher was the only person with permission to call her that, and she did it infrequently, usually when she was trying to make a difficult point. “But I also get the feeling that you haven’t broached any of this with Mateo. How can you know if you’re making the right decision without his input?”
“I don’t think I could stand to get his opinion.” She had to be honest, even though it sounded childish. “I know he cares for me, but...”
“But what?” Cher’s voice was soft, but compelling. “You don’t want to make the choice, do you? You’d rather be a martyr, letting him go so he can find this mythical younger woman and have babies, rather than ask him what he wants and risk it being you?”
“The fallout could be horrible.” She was trying to be smart and reasonable, and it was beginning to annoy her that Cher couldn’t see that. “I’m at least ten years older than him. If I’m lucky—and that’s a big if—I’ll hit menopause in about eight years, if not before, and he’ll still be young and vibrant, while I turn into a hag. And what happens if, at some point along that continuum, he does decide he wants kids? How do I deal with that?”
Cher was silent for a few long moments, and then she said, “You know what I find interesting?” It was more of a preamble than a real question, so Regina didn’t bother to reply. And as she expected, Cher continued, “You’ve hardly mentioned your career when talking about the situation.”
“I did,” Regina objected, thinking back on what she’d said. She had, hadn’t she? “And you know that’s of paramount importance, even if I haven’t emphasized it.”
“Hmm...” Cher had the knack of making the simplest sound seem like an interrogation. “Is it really the most important thing right now?”
“Of course.” Yet, she almost didn’t believe it herself, and her avowal was met with a sigh from her friend.
“I’ve never known you to be a coward, but you’re acting like one now. Maybe you only think you’re in love with him, but your feelings don’t run as deep as you believe. If that’s the case, you’re right—it’s better not to say anything to him until you figure out what’s really important.”
“Wow.” A little stunned, and rather hurt, she said, “That was harsh.”
“Not harsh, girlfriend.” Cher said it softly, real sympathy in her voice. “Just truthful, as always. You’re looking at his family and career, and your age and career, as impediments. You’ve made the decision for him about what’s important, and what’s not. I know you’ve never thought of love and relationships as vital, but maybe it’s time you reevaluated all that.”
“I honestly don’t know what to do,” Regina admitted. When was the last time she’d said that? She was so used to being in control of everything, having a set plan, that even to hear the words coming out of her mouth made her feel a little ill. “But I have a bit more time to decide.”
“Put it out into the universe,” Cher suggested, as she usually did whenever things were up in the air, or undecided. “And see what comes back to you.”
Regina sighed. She really wasn’t one for all those New Age types of things, but Cher was, and she’d never hurt her friend by telling her that reason and sober contemplation would trump whatever the ether had to offer.
“Okay, I will,” she agreed.
“Let me know what you decide, Reggie. You know I’m here for you, whenever you need me.”
They talked for a little more, and after they hung up Regina was as restless as she’d been before they’d talked. Maybe even more so, considering all the crazy thoughts Cher had put into her head.
Seeking something to take her mind off it all, she booted up her computer and started downloading the developmental courses she’d planned on doing while in Miami.
Before she got sidetracked by the sexiest man on the planet, and forgot about her plans and goals.
Funny how emotions messed with even the most level of heads.
Work had always been her solace, the one thing she could count on, without fail, to keep her going, so she went through the first course’s lecture slides, and then took the first test.
But only half her mind was on it. The rest was watching the clock, thinking that Mateo should be leaving the hospital soon and coming to her.
It was aggravating and exciting, all at once.
As she rubbed the bridge of her nose, the thought came to her that if the universe had anything to say, it had better get a move on, because time was running out.
In twelve days, she’d be on a flight back to San Francisco, leaving all this behind.
The buzzer for downstairs went just as her email pinged. She got up to let Mateo in and unlock the front door before opening the message from her job in California.
Be careful what you wish for, she thought to herself, dazed and in disbelief after reading the email.
Mateo came through the door, took one look at her face and said, “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”
Through lips numb with shock, she said, “I just got offered the position as Deputy Chief of Medicine...”
And her heart ached with pride when he let out a shout, punching his fist into the air in celebration...
...even as that same heart broke, too.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
WAS IT POSSIBLE to be proud and happy and miserable all at the same time, maybe with a side of angry thrown in?
Maybe not angry, Mateo reasoned to himself. More like resentful, and ashamed of himself for feeling that way.
He’d meant it when he’d snatched the obviously shocked Regina off her couch and swung her around, shouting, “You did it! I knew you would!”
Just as he’d meant it when he’d told her how pleased he was for her.
Yet, once the euphoria died down, reality had set in, and he’d recognized himself for a fool.
Somewhere in the deepest recesses of his heart, he’d hoped she wouldn’t get just this kind of offer, because it gave her the ultimate reason to go back to San Francisco.
If they’d passed
her over for promotion, maybe she’d get angry and decide to leave that hospital. Perhaps even move.
To Miami.
To him.
Of course, he’d been playing tricks with his own mind, even harboring such thoughts. Regina was well on her way to her goal, and even if the job offer hadn’t materialized, she would have still been on track to make it happen.
Mateo knew he was just a diversion on her way to where she wanted to be.
But three days after hearing the news, while on his way to his Thursday clinic, he was still battling with his worst instincts, which told him to bare his heart and let her know how he really felt. That he was in love with her, and couldn’t imagine his life, going forward, without her.
Nothing, and everything, had changed in the few short weeks since her reentry into his life.
His obligations to his family remained the same, as did her ambitions, but his love for her and the promise of her new job, which she’d worked so hard for, had turned everything on its head.
He’d had a brief moment of hope when she’d said, “I haven’t replied. I need to find out what happened to Evan Logan, the doctor I thought would get the Deputy spot.”
“Does it matter?” he’d asked, genuinely curious.
She’d nodded, her gaze unfocused and far away. “Yes, it does. Was it that they wouldn’t pay him what he wanted? If so, that’s something worth considering. Worse, was he passed over completely? I’d still have to work with him, and if he’s going to be resentful, I want to know that, too. If, on the other hand, it was simply that he didn’t want the position, that’s a different matter.”
The way her mind worked truly amazed him.
“How will you find out?”
That made her smile for the first time since he’d spun her around the room. “I have my ways,” she said. Then she dropped her voice to an overly dramatic whisper. “There are spies everywhere.”
There was nothing to do, he realized, but to accept that next week she’d be gone.
He should take a leaf out of her book and concentrate on work, to the exclusion of everything else.
He’d seen only three clinic patients, when one of the senior nurses came to find him.
“There’s an urgent telephone call for you, Dr. Herrera. It’s from the renal support network.”
His heart skipped a beat, but he kept his cool. The support network, while it usually was the conduit through which they found organ donors for their patients, also provided other services. It wasn’t unusual to field calls from them, but hearing the name never failed to give Mateo hope that one of his patients was about to be a lucky kidney recipient.
“Dr. Herrera,” he said, picking up the call.
“Dr. Herrera, I’m calling to let you know we’ve found a match for one of your patients, Rexford Knowles.”
For the second time in three days, he had the urge to punch the air in excitement, but this time he restrained himself.
“Is it a live donor?”
“No, Doctor.”
“Local?”
“No, the kidney is being flown in from Texas. We have two possible recipients, but Mr. Knowles is first on the list. Please advise us as soon as possible if he’s fit for surgery, and where the operation will take place.”
The hospital didn’t have a dedicated transplant team, so they either had to bring a surgeon in, or have the operation done elsewhere.
“I’ll get right back to you on that. What’s the ETA on the kidney?”
“The donor is on life support, and will remain so until early tomorrow morning, so you should have the organ by early afternoon tomorrow. I’ll keep you updated.”
“Thank you.”
Then it was a flurry of activity.
Finding a surgeon was easier than he’d thought, since Tim Janowitz, who he’d been a resident with, had recently moved to Florida and was free the following day.
“I’d prefer to do the operation there,” Tim said. “You’ll be able to keep an eye on your patient afterward, rather than have someone he and his family aren’t familiar with, post-op.”
That was a relief, since Mateo had worried about the same thing.
Then, while one of the nurses made arrangements for the operating room and surgical staff, Mateo had to call Rex Knowles and his wife.
Pat Knowles tried to maintain her usual brisk, no-nonsense persona, but he could hear the fear and excitement in her voice as she said, “I’ll get a bag packed and bring him around.”
“I’ll let them know downstair, to take him straight to a room, and I’ll come by to examine him. Also Dr. Janowitz, the surgeon, will be by later to check his fitness to have the surgery.”
He heard her deep breath and a whoosh of an exhale before she replied, “We’ll be there in about an hour. Hopefully, the traffic isn’t too bad.”
And hopefully, Rex was well enough for the surgery.
And hopefully, the kidney was viable and got to them in perfect condition.
There were so many variables, but this might be Rex’s last chance of survival. The decline in his health and his mental acuity had been marked over the last few months.
Turning to the nurse at the desk, Mateo said, “Could you contact whoever is on call today, and ask them to come in as soon as they can to take over the clinic for me? Also, advise Admissions that patient Rexford Knowles will be coming in for preoperative tests, and he’ll be staying overnight.”
“Of course, Doctor.”
Once Rex got to the hospital, Mateo would be with him, doing full panels and screening, so as to have the results on hand when Tim Janowitz came in.
With patients waiting, he had to get his head back into clinic mode, but it was difficult. It was an unfortunate fact that they didn’t have as many patients receiving kidneys as there were ones who desperately needed them, so transplants were dishearteningly rare.
He sent up a little prayer that all the variables came together, and then stepped into an empty office to call Regina and let her know what was happening.
* * *
When Mateo called her on the ward phone, rather than her personal one, she knew it was work-related, but that didn’t stop her silly heart from turning over when she heard his voice.
Aware of being surrounded by people, including the odious Dr. Welk, who’d been called up for a consult, she made sure to keep her tone neutral.
“Yes, Dr. Herrera?”
“They’ve found a donor for Rex Knowles, and the kidney should be here tomorrow afternoon. He’s coming in for pre-op testing, and I’ve already advised Admissions to send him right up.”
All pretense of impartiality fled, and she said, “That’s really great news.”
“Let me know when he arrives, and I’m writing up the order for the tests I want run, so if you could get that started, I’d appreciate it. I only hope it works out well. So many things can go wrong.”
The strain in his voice was real, and she wanted to reassure him, but from the corner of her eye, she could see Welk, not even pretending he wasn’t eavesdropping. Yet, really, who gave a fig?
“We’ll all have our fingers crossed for a favorable outcome.”
When she hung up, she turned to find Welk standing there, a smarmy little smirk on his face.
“Taking personal phone calls on the hospital line is frowned upon here.”
The drip of ice along her spine was a surprise, but she pushed her instinctive defensiveness aside, so as to give him a narrow-eyed stare.
“Excuse me?”
He waved toward the phone. “You shouldn’t tie up the line with personal calls from men friends. Those are for hospital business only.”
The urge to smack his smug face was real and visceral, but it wasn’t the first time, and it wouldn’t be the last, she’d have to deal with someone like him. So she hid her rage
behind a thin smile, before turning to the nurse who was standing there, mouth agape.
“Ona, we’re having a renal transplant patient of Dr. Herrera’s, Rexford Knowles, being admitted in a short time. When he gets here, please let Dr. Herrera know, and get the panels started.”
Then she turned to Morgan Welk, that dismissive smile still on her face. “Dr. Welk, I believe there’s a patient waiting for you in Room 436?”
She walked away then, before she could say or do something that would make her lose her cool completely.
He caught up to her, almost running alongside her to keep up.
“I saw you the other morning, dropping Herrera off.”
The way he said it, his tone, speared through her. It made all the beauty of her experience in Miami seem tawdry and wrong, and she felt her anger start to peak.
Stopping abruptly, she turned to face him, holding on to her temper by a thread.
“And?”
“And? You’re a disgrace, running after that young man. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
She loomed over him, glad of her superior height, and she knew her voice was shaking, but she didn’t care. Her words were cold and precise. Measured.
“What is shameful is that you would spend more time speculating about things that are none of your business than you would looking after your patients. What’s also shameful is that you bully and bluster your way around this hospital, rather than putting your mind to doing your job.”
He sneered but stepped back, and before he could say anything, Regina continued.
“Luckily for me, I don’t have to put up with you much longer, but I suggest you remember in the future that not everyone is frightened by your disgraceful attitude, and one day you may bite off more than you can chew.”
Then she turned on her heel and walked away, and Welk had enough sense not to try to follow her again.
Ducking into a staff bathroom, she locked the door and took several deep breaths, trying to dissipate the rage.
She wasn’t ashamed, not in the slightest. It wasn’t as though she was going to hang on to Mateo, or pretend she was right for him, but Welk’s words clung to her like cobwebs, making her feel as though she needed a shower.