by Leslie North
“What?” Nick questioned. “But, Cal, you’re a natural at the job. You know—” Nick went on for a few more minutes. Cal let him talk until he ran out of steam.
Finally he said, “Nick, I’m grateful for the offer—I truly am. But I’m serious about going in another direction. I’ve got other priorities in my life.” Priorities that meant more than a few minutes of time on the air.
“Well, dang it,” Nick said. “You sure I can’t sweeten the deal for you? More money? More vacation time? What’ll it take?”
“Nothing you can offer,” Cal said, “but I appreciate you making it.”
“You must have something else big in mind.”
“I do,” Cal said. “I figured out what’s important to me and I’m going after it.”
“Can’t argue with that,” Nick said. “You keep the network in mind if you have a change of heart.”
“That won’t be happening.” Cal knew that no matter what happened with Amy he wouldn’t be returning to the circuit. It was time he put his boots down in one place long enough for them to get dusty.
When he hung up with Nick, he texted Rafael to ask for a recommendation for a real estate agent. Five minutes later, Cal had a name, number, and a text that asked what the hell Cal was doing. Cal laughed at his friend’s bluntness and called the number to set up an appointment to look at available property in the area big enough for a training center and a herd of horses. And then after that, he called his mama and listened to Zoe cry over how happy she was that her wandering boy had finally figured out where he wanted to be.
“I’ve got three places that I think’ll suit you,” Ted Adams, the realtor, said when he picked Cal up that afternoon. “We’ll hit the closest one first.” Ted was an amiable guy and chatted about local gossip and the upcoming rodeo while they drove the twenty minutes to the first place. “This one needs the most work of any of them, but it’s got such great potential that I thought it was worth showing it to you.”
Cal got out of the vehicle and took in the large white barn that needed a coat of paint and some other repairs. Outbuildings were in a similar condition. All of that was fixable, but the size mattered. “How much property?”
“About two hundred acres of grass land, good for pasturing horses.” That worked in terms of size, and Cal liked the lay of the land. Enough trees for shade, plenty of grass for the horses to eat, and rolling hills for a little beauty. “Do you want to look in the main barn?”
“Yeah, I do.” Cal followed the agent while a hum of excitement started through his blood. It was the anticipation he often felt when entering the arena for a competition. But what he wanted here wasn’t going to be over in eight seconds.
Ted removed a padlock and pushed the barn doors open. The familiar scent of hay and horses hit Cal as he walked in. It was a barn like a thousand others he’d been in, but he was seeing it differently. This wasn’t a temporary visit to look at a horse and grab a saddle. This was where he could make his future, so he took a slow walk around, checking in every stall, climbing to the hayloft, and inspecting the tack room while he imagined the possibilities.
After the barn, he went outside to look at the other buildings and see the fenced pasture. It all needed work, but it was work he knew how to do, thanks to having helped in his parents’ construction business when he was younger. What mattered was that he could picture himself here, doing that work, training kids to ride. Being here was exactly what he wanted.
“I’ll take it,” he said when he and Ted returned to the main barn.
“You sure?” Ted shot him a quizzical look. “The other places are in better shape. You’d have fewer upfront costs.”
“No, this is what I want.” The property itself was exactly suited to his needs, but it also sat within an easy distance of the Thorne ranch. Even if Amy didn’t take him back—and he forced himself to accept that possibility—he wanted to be close to Henry and his brothers. That would be a good life, too.
“There’s no house. Where you going to live?” Ted asked.
“What about that place?” Cal pointed to a farmhouse set among oak trees across the road. A “for sale” sign was in the front yard.
“Sorry, buddy, but as luck would have it, one of my associates sold that place yesterday. The contract’s already been signed by both parties.”
Cal felt some disappointment. It was pretty place, but Amy would probably want some say in the house they would share. He imagined she would want to live at the ranch for at least another year. That would give them plenty of time to build a place they could both be happy with.
Was he getting ahead of himself? Probably. He wasn’t going to make assumptions about or put conditions on their love as he had on their evening ride. He’d been a dumbass, but it had also been the wakeup call he needed.
Or maybe Jake’s fist in his face had been that. Either way, he’d gotten his head straight about what was important.
“Let’s get the paperwork started,” Cal said. He had plenty of savings left over from his winnings on the circuit. The renovation work would take a chunk out of that, as would building a house, but he wasn’t worried about money. Patching things up with Amy and his family were what mattered and buying the land was the first step in accomplishing that.
He spent the next hour with Ted putting in a formal offer on the property and calling his banker. When that was done, he had one more call to make. He dialed Brian’s number and requested a meeting with his brothers, but not on the ranch. After a brief hesitation, Brian told him to come over to his house at seven. He’d get Jake there, too.
That evening, Cal approached Brian’s house feeling unsettled. He had to lay it on the line with the twins and hope they accepted him.
“Thanks for meeting with me,” Cal said when Brian opened the door at his knock. Brian’s place was a small, two-story house on a side street in town. Nothing fancy, but tidy and well maintained, and in a good location for the sheriff, close to the places that might need him in a hurry.
Brian only nodded and stepped back. Jake stood in the living room regarding Cal with distrust and suspicion. Cal didn’t blame him. The twins were the kind of men who protected the people they loved, and right then they felt they had to protect their family from Cal.
“Howdy,” Cal greeted Jake. “I’ll get right to it. I owe you both an apology for what happened in the bar.”
“I started that,” Jake said bluntly.
“Yeah, but I didn’t have to continue it.” Cal turned to address Brian. “And I shouldn’t have put you in the position of having to lock up your own brothers.”
“It’s the job,” Brian said with a shrug.
“I think it’s more complicated than that. I regret the things I said, too.” Cal paused, but neither of them responded to that and he couldn’t read their expressions, so he went on. “Most of all, though, I’m sorry for hurting Amy.”
“You ought to be,” Jake snapped.
“Trust me, I know, but I had some things to work out, and I’ve done that,” Cal said, hoping they believed him. “So I’m here to stay. And I’m hoping we can put our differences aside.”
“How does Amy fit into all this?” Brian asked.
“I’m going to try to win her back,” Cal said. “I want to marry her, but I’ll get it if she wants nothing to do with me. I didn’t treat her the way I should have.” He accepted his responsibility for what had happened between them. “If she won’t have me, I still want to be an uncle to Henry.”
Jake came closer, getting in Cal’s face. “What’s our part in all this?”
“Nothing, if that’s the way you want it,” Cal said. “I’m going to try getting Amy back whether or not you two are okay with it. Still, I’d like it if I had your blessing. I like you, and I think we can at least be friends.” He let himself grin. “At the least, I’d prefer not to get punched out every time Amy and I have a normal fight.”
Jake shot Brian a look and a silent communication passed between the two.
Cal wished he spoke that language, but he doubted he ever would no matter how close the three of them became in the future.
“All right, we’ll accept what you’ve said so far, but we’ve got a few questions before you get our blessing,” Jake said and Cal had the impression that they’d discussed this in advance. “Are you committed to listening to what Amy wants and not riding roughshod over her?”
Cal blinked, wondering what motivated that question. “I am.” Was that how they viewed his behavior the last time he saw her on the ranch? “I didn’t handle things well a few nights back, but I never meant to hurt her.”
“Uh huh,” Jake responded, and Cal wasn’t at all sure his brother had believed his response.
“You going to let her keep working at the mayor’s office?” Brian picked up the interrogation.
Where did that come from? Of course she could work if that’s what she wanted. “If it makes her happy, I’m not getting in her way.”
“Good answer,” Jake said. “Now, here’s the hard question. You may not know it, but being a parent is about the toughest job there is. It can be exhausting and unglamorous. You going to keep seeing Amy as a person and not take her for granted during those moments, not expect her to do all the heavy lifting of parenting while you focus on the fun stuff?”
“You’ve got my word on that.” Cal meant what he said, but he was still confused by the questions. Was this another subtle way for them to talk about how great Luke was? Were they worried that Cal couldn’t live up to Luke’s example? He decided to hit the issue head on. “Look, I get that I’m never going to replace Luke, and I’m not going to try, but I can promise to love Amy and Henry with everything I’ve got.”
“That’s—” Jake stopped speaking when Brian shook his head and several beats of silence passed.
“She’ll tell him when she’s ready,” Brian said.
Cal wanted to demand to know what that was about, but he was in no position to insist on an explanation. More silence fell while another look was exchanged between the twins. He was guessing that they were coming to a final decision on him and his role in the family.
“Okay, Cal, welcome to the family. Again,” Brian said and stuck out his hand to shake Cal’s. “And just so you know, we don’t need you to be perfect. God knows Luke wasn’t a perfect brother, and we loved him anyway. We need you to be honest with us, though.”
“I can do that,” Cal said, but he was surprised at Brian’s words suggesting that Luke wasn’t perfect. It was the first time anyone Cal had encountered in Darby Crossing even hinted at that.
“Enough of this serious talk. Let’s go watch the sunset and have a beer,” Brian said and led the way to his kitchen. He grabbed three longnecks from the fridge and opened a door onto a small deck.
They sat at a picnic table as darkness fell, talking and giving each other crap. It reminded Cal of nights he’d spent with his buddies on the rodeo circuit. Those had been good times, but this was, too. Maybe he really had found a place where he could fit in and belong.
19
“What a day,” Amy said, walking into the ranch’s kitchen and kicking her shoes off. The rodeo was only a few days away and the pressure was really on her to make sure everything was perfectly prepared. She’d spent half the day on the phone with vendors and the other half running around the rodeo grounds, making sure everything was coming together.
“I’m making grilled cheese. You want one?” Jake asked from his spot near the stove.
“Yes, please,” Amy said gratefully. “Did Henry eat already?”
“Mom fed him before she left for her book club. He’s playing videogames now,” Jake said, “and don’t worry, he did his homework and his chores. Take a seat. You look like you’re about to drop.”
Amy sank down on a stool while Jake made the sandwiches. “You got in late last night. Did you and Brian have fun?”
“Just beers and bullshit,” Jake said, handing her a plate with a perfectly toasted sandwich on it. But he hesitated as he stood in front of her, making Amy look up into his face.
“What is it?” she asked. Jake wasn’t the type to talk about things, but she could clearly see that something was bothering him.
“Cal was there last night, too,” he said, keeping his eyes on her.
“Oh.” Amy pulled her gaze away and focused on her plate, busying herself with tearing her grilled cheese in half. “I hope you all can be friends.” Her words weren’t a platitude. She did hope that Cal had found the brothers he’d never had in Jake and Brian. She also hoped there was a place for her and Henry somewhere in his heart, but she wasn’t going to say that aloud.
“Yeah. Me, too.” He drew in an audible breath and Amy steeled herself for what was coming. “Are you willing to try again with him?”
She sighed, wanting to be honest with him but unsure if the truth would hurt him. Would he be upset to hear that she’d moved on from Luke?
“If you are, you need to tell him that Luke was just a guy,” Jake said, shocking her into silence. “We all loved Luke and we miss him, but Cal’s got it in his head that Luke was some kind of perfect husband.”
How had Cal gotten that impression? She’d never said it. But even as she asked herself the question, she realized that Luke had been so well loved by others and so revered in town that Cal could have easily been misled. She’d also done nothing to dispel the idea since it felt somehow disloyal.
“It’s hard when you feel like no matter what you do, you can never live up to the person who did the job before you,” Jake said.
Amy glanced up at him sharply. Was Jake talking about running the ranch? She studied his face but couldn’t read it. She knew he exhausted himself trying to make everything perfect, trying to fill the shoes left by his father and brother. Was that a problem for him? He’d never said as much, but she wondered…
“I know you’ve always defended Luke,” Jake continued, “and Mom bought it because she only wanted to remember the best parts of Luke, but Brian and I knew…”
She knew what the next words were and said them before Jake could. “That Luke and I didn’t have anything close to a perfect marriage.” There, she admitted the truth aloud to someone in the family for the first time—and it was kind of liberating.
“Yeah, that,” Jake said. “Eat your sandwich before it gets cold.”
Amy looked at her plate where she’d torn the grilled cheese into small chunks during the conversation. She popped one in her mouth, considering what Jake had said. Maybe she owed Cal the truth about her marriage, even if it was messy and unflattering and made her uncomfortable. It might be the only way they could move forward toward a new life together, and she wanted that so much. She suddenly realized that buying a house and putting the physical distance between herself and the Thornes wasn’t enough. He needed to understand her past, and she had to be honest with him about it.
She slowly ate the sandwich and drank from the glass of lemonade that Jake put in front of her. The more she thought about her situation the more she realized that she owed Cal a conversation. And it couldn’t wait. It had to be now. Tonight. She hopped off the stool and kissed Jake on the cheek. “You’re a sweetheart and don’t let anyone tell you any different.”
Jake huffed. “I’m not sweet. I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Can you watch Henry tonight?” Amy knew he would. Jake was a great uncle.
“Sure,” Jake almost grinned at her, “but we’re going to play videogames until bedtime, just so you know.”
“Just this once, I can live with that. Thanks, Jake.” Amy made a quick stop to check on Henry before going to her room. She had to call Cal and set up a meeting. She dialed his number and waited through four long rings before he picked up. Please pick up.
“Hi, Amy,” he said while she was mentally preparing the message she’d leave.
“Cal.” Saying his name was all she could manage for a moment. At the sound of his voice, it felt as though her heart starte
d beating for the first time since they broke up. “I was hoping we could meet up and talk. Can I come over to see you tonight?”
“I need to talk with you, too, but I’m not at the B&B right now.” He gave her an address a short drive from the ranch and they agreed to meet in a half hour, which gave her just time to put on something cute and freshen her makeup. She rushed to her closet and flung back the door. Minutes later she was headed for the address he’d given her. It seemed familiar, when she rounded a curve in the road and saw the house she’d just purchased, she understood why. How had Cal known about the house?
She pulled into the driveway and parked, spotting Cal on the other side of the road near the big white barn. She waved to him, but his return motion was stiff, mechanical, not at all the easy movement she was used to seeing in him. As she walked closer and could see his face more clearly, his expression was a mix of hopefulness and nerves. What was going on?
She didn’t know, but she did know that he looked so damn good she wanted to throw herself into his arms. This was her opportunity to show him how she felt about him, so she took it. She walked straight up to him and clasped her hands behind his neck. His immediately went to her waist before he started a kiss that lasted for a long minute. The entire universe righted itself in that moment. She sighed. This was how things should be between them. She rested her head briefly against his chest, but he broke the embrace, putting a little distance between them.
“I didn’t mean to kiss you right away,” he said, “but I’m glad I did.”
She smiled at him. “Me, too. Cal, I need to tell you something.”
“I’ve got things to tell you, too. Can I go first? Please.” His expression was endearing and heartfelt.
“If you want,” she agreed, even though she was practically bursting with the words that she’d planned to say.
“Come with me.” He took her hand and led her through the open barn door. It was a typical looking barn, much like others she’d been in during her years in Texas. The only oddity was a makeshift table made of plywood and sawhorses. Cal took her toward the table where she could see a large sheet of paper. The words “Pierce Rodeo Training Center” were written across the top. Underneath was a sketch of the barn’s interior and the fenced pastures outside, not exactly as they were, but more how they could be.