Ask Me Anything

by Molly E. Lee

  Maybe I really didn’t know anything. And that fact was ruining people’s lives.

  After splashing cold water on my face a few times, and sure my stomach had nothing left to throw up, I righted my computer chair and sat in front of my opened laptop.

  The email stared me down, accusing me of the worst.

  How could I possibly make this right?

  My fingers hovered over the keys, ready to reply, but I couldn’t. What could I say? There was no combination of words that would make this right for a girl who’d trusted me—trusted Ask Me Anything. No magic response that would alleviate the guilt nibbling at my insides—eating me slowly. No more than I deserved.

  The room spun around me, swirling with the wide popularity of the blog, the protesting parents, the girl who’d gotten pregnant. All of it a massive tornado of emotions—hate and hope and regret—whirling with the sheer intent to swallow me whole.

  What have I done?

  A cold sweat broke along the back of my neck, and I hated myself in that moment. Hated that I’d thought I was smart enough to help students where Tanner had hindered them.

  Tanner.

  All I’d wanted was to make him see. Rile him enough to open his eyes. Force a change for the better.

  What did I know about better? Obviously, everything I had done—despite the growing numbers of hits and comments and questions—was wrong. I’d led a girl down the wrong path and now she’d suffer that consequence for the rest of her life.

  My stomach twisted where I sat.

  Torch it.

  The solution whispered from the back of my racing mind.

  Torch it.

  It said it again.

  Hit the delete button and pretend none of it ever happened.

  I stared at the email, my knee bouncing uncontrollably under my desk, my hands interlocked in front of me.

  No one would ever know.

  No.

  I couldn’t. Wouldn’t.

  There was no running away from what I’d done, the beast I’d created. I’d have to figure out a way to help. To make amends with the girl, and then do one final post. A goodbye post with an apology.

  Running is easier.

  It would be, but I couldn’t do that.

  What if they catch you before you end it?

  The traitorous paranoid voice in my head had me chewing on my lip, visions of Tanner pressing charges on me for emotional damage to his students.

  Shit.

  I’d been careless in more ways than one, apparently. I had no contingency plan in place—nothing to save me from whatever Tanner would do if he found out the truth.

  Maybe I deserved whatever I had coming to me.

  Maybe I didn’t.

  I needed to talk to someone about it. Sort my chaotic mind out before I did anything drastic.

  Dean.

  He would help me work this out. Help me understand what to do. He’d already done so much for me, and he never judged.

  DC.

  I exited out of the email, knowing I’d have to think on what to say before replying, and pulled up a chat box.

  PixieBurn: I need a favor

  I only had to wait a few seconds before Dean responded.

  NightLocker: I’m good at favors

  NightLocker: What’s up?

  Hope bloomed in my heart with his immediate support. The sourness in my stomach was almost enough to kill the good vibes connecting with Dean gave me. I hurried before I could lose my nerve.

  PixieBurn: If the need came about...

  PixieBurn: would you be willing to torch some things for me

  NightLocker: ...

  NightLocker: talking contingency plans here?

  PixieBurn: Yes

  NightLocker: Who are we hiding from?

  NightLocker: Parents?

  PixieBurn: No

  I sucked in a deep breath, the decision to tell him everything the only solid thing I could hold on to. I contemplated typing it all out but knew in person would be better. Safer.

  PixieBurn: Can we meet tonight?

  NightLocker: Of course

  PixieBurn: I’ll explain everything then

  PixieBurn: I promise

  NightLocker: Ok

  PixieBurn: I’ll send you everything you need to bury my stuff

  PixieBurn: Just...promise you won’t look until we talk tonight?

  Every nerve ending buzzed, begging me not to send him what he needed to torch the site. To put an end to it just in case. I knew he wouldn’t look before I had a chance to explain, but the worry was still there in the back of my mind.

  What if I told him and he saw me as Brandon had? A liar. A fake.

  NightLocker: You know I won’t

  NightLocker: You can trust me, Pixie

  PixieBurn: I know

  PixieBurn: Sorry for the cryptic

  PixieBurn: Tonight.

  NightLocker: I’ll be waiting

  His words reassured me as I closed the chat box, but they weren’t enough to ease the guilt threatening to suffocate me. The email sat in my dock, glaring at me, begging for attention. Even after talking to Dean, I didn’t have a clue what to say.

  Maybe tonight, after I told him everything, he’d help me figure it out. He had this calm about him that quieted my mind enough to think clearly.

  Yes. Tonight. Dean would never think like Brandon. He was different. He was special.

  And he loves you.

  That truth helped give me the courage I needed to send him the darkest secret I’d ever kept, and the means to destroy it.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Dean

  A ding indicated Amber had uploaded the goods I’d need to help her with her contingency plan, but I didn’t dare check it. The temptation was there, but I resisted. She said we’d talk tonight and I believed her.

  After five minutes I closed my laptop, ensuring she’d logged off and didn’t need me anymore.

  What is she hiding?

  I stretched my arms behind my head, rolling my neck. I’d already been coding for an hour before she popped up, but now my mind was working her riddle.

  What could possibly be so bad she’d need to bring me in? And to torch the stuff.

  Something itched the back of my mind—the wraith I’d been chasing. Ask Me Anything. The blog was under serious fire…enough that the person behind it might contemplate torching it…

  No.

  Amber couldn’t be behind it.

  I’d asked her about it more than a month ago. She’d said…

  My heart raced for a few beats, considering.

  No. The person behind the blog knew stuff. More stuff than Amber did. Last night…that had been her first time, my first time. She couldn’t be behind it. This secret of hers had to be something else.

  I sighed, wishing like hell the girls in my life weren’t dealing with such heavy issues, but surely Amber’s thing wasn’t as deep as Tessa’s.

  Fuck me, if it is.

  Hard enough dodging Tanner’s incessant requests for updates on my progress, now this?

  Relax. I don’t even know what it is.

  I took a deep breath. Amber was smart; she wouldn’t be in over her head. She probably was just being extra careful, folding me into her plans. Nothing major.

  A loud, retching sound jolted me from my thoughts.

  I raced to my bathroom door—the one I shared with Tessa.

  “Tessa?” I asked, knocking.

  “Go. Away.” Her words were garbled with the sounds of too much spit. Another gagging sound, and a splat.

  I cringed, totally thinking about vacating the house. But it was my baby sister, so I knocked again.

  “Let me in,” I said.

  “No.” She growled
the word.

  I jiggled the handle, finding it unlocked, and stepped through.

  “Damn it, Dean,” she said, glaring up at me from where she kneeled over the toilet.

  I rolled my eyes and gathered her hair off her neck and away from her face, securing it with one of those damn ties she left all over the counter. “Did you go to a party last night without me knowing?”

  It was absolutely possible. She could’ve thrown her own party, inviting the entire school over, and I likely wouldn’t have noticed. Not when I’d been wrapped up in Amber.

  The memory scorched my insides, and I wetted my lips. I could still taste her kiss. Could still smell her on my skin.

  Puke splattered the water in the toilet, and I snapped the eff out of it. I leaned over, rubbing my sister’s back, cringing as she lost her guts over and over again.

  “How much did you drink last night?” I asked, trying like hell not to let disappointment leak into my tone. It wasn’t that she drank; it was that she’d obviously had way too much.

  “I didn’t,” she said.

  Grabbing a washcloth, I soaked it with cold water, wrung it, and handed it to her. “You don’t have to lie to me, Tessa,” I said. “I’m not Mom and Dad.”

  She wiped her face, resting her forehead on the arms crossed over the toilet she’d just flushed. “I’m not.”

  I folded my arms over my chest, leaning against the wall near the tub.

  “Go away, Dean. Please.” She closed her eyes, tears leaking from the corners.

  “Not until you talk to me.”

  She groaned, clutching at her stomach with one arm. “No.”

  I ground my teeth, sucking in a long breath through my nose. “Please, Tessa,” I said once I knew my voice would be even. “You’ve been ghosting me. Sean. For way longer than normal. It’s time you tell me what’s going on.” I now knew the reasoning—her prank on Tanner was likely eating away at her—but it didn’t explain her distance from us. Was she so sure we’d lecture her over it?

  “I have not—”

  Another wave cut her off, and I hissed. “You sure you didn’t drink?”

  “No,” she said, wiping her mouth after flushing again. “I swear. I haven’t drunk since…” She closed her eyes again, more tears that rolled into a full-on sob.

  I kneeled next to her, my hand on her back. “It’s okay, Tessa. I know.”

  “What?” she snapped, glancing at me through glittering eyes. “How?”

  “Tanner,” I said. “He has footage. I’m doing everything I can to get it from him. But there are complications.” I sighed. “You could’ve told me. Come to me. I would’ve helped you.”

  She gaped at me like I had glitter shooting out my nose.

  I furrowed my brow. “The stunt you pulled before the assembly?”

  Realization clicked in her eyes before she rolled them. “Oh,” she said. “The stupid video? I don’t care about that.”

  “What?” Anger rippled up my spine. “How can you not care? He’s using it against me! The footage of you stealing his personal laptop out of his office, Tessa. You could go to jail for that if he decides to press charges. At minimum, he could expel you. Ruin your perfect record.”

  “Asshole,” she said, scrubbing the wet cloth over her face but not moving from her spot over the toilet. “I didn’t know he had a camera. Or that he’d use it against you.” She sniffled. “Just a dumb prank. Something to show you and Sean I could keep up with you.” She rolled her eyes. “Was going to rub it in your faces before—”

  “Wait,” I cut her off. “What did you think I knew?”

  “What?”

  I grumbled. “You didn’t know I was talking about the video. You thought I was talking about something else. What did you think I knew?”

  She dropped her head again. “Just go away, Dean.”

  “No. Forget that. My ass is on the line because of you. Because I will always do whatever it takes to protect you—”

  “No one asked you to protect me!”

  “I’m your brother!” I stood and paced the small space of the bathroom, not wanting to yell in her face while she was sick. “Look,” I said, calming down, “you need to care about this. If I don’t get that footage or do what he’s asking me to do, there will be real consequences.”

  She laughed, a dark, cold laugh.

  It raised chills on my skin, a deep pit opening in my stomach.

  “Doesn’t matter,” she said.

  “It does! I don’t know what the hell has gotten into you, but it matters—”

  “I’m pregnant!” she blurted, stopping me from speaking, from thinking, from feeling anything besides a massive punch in the gut.

  I stumbled backward, the backs of my knees hitting the edge of the tub so hard I sank down on it. “What?” My voice was a whisper.

  “I’m pregnant,” she said, sighing like it was a relief to say the words out loud. She waved her hand over the toilet. “Eleven weeks.”

  A wad of tears clogged the back of my throat as I stared at my sister—my baby sister. My eyes trailed to where one arm clutched her stomach. Or was it a protective hold?

  Adrenaline coursed hot and wild through my veins as I bolted off the tub. “I’m going to murder him.” I stomped toward the door, prepared to get in my car and beat the living hell out of Colt.

  Tessa’s clammy hand grabbed my own before I could reach the knob. “Stop,” she pleaded. “It’s not Colt’s fault.”

  “Like hell it isn’t.”

  She rolled her eyes, not releasing my hand. “It takes two.”

  I cringed, clenching my eyes shut like it could block the mental picture. I shook out my limbs. “Ugh, scoot over,” I said. “Now I think I’m going to puke.”

  “Get your own bathroom.”

  “This is my bathroom.”

  A small, barely audible chuckle tumbled from her lips. It was sad enough to stop me from leaving. Instead, I sank to the floor beside her.

  “Tessa,” I said, my hand on her back. “Fucking hell.”

  “I know,” she said. “I know. I should’ve…ugh…” She groaned again. “It was that damn blog. I asked something and I thought I read it right and then…boom. Pregnant.”

  “What?”

  “Ask Me Anything,” she said. “I trusted it.” She set her forehead on her arm again. “I shouldn’t have.”

  Another wave of anger rippled over my skin. “You did something it told you to and this happened?”

  “Sort of,” she said, not bothering to look up at me.

  Fucking jerk. Whoever it was—now I did want to find them. Forget Tanner’s reasoning. I would do this for me. For Tessa. Someone had to pay for this. For the fact that my baby sister now had to become an adult. Had to deal with things that I couldn’t even comprehend.

  “It’s going to be okay,” I said, rubbing her back.

  “How?”

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “But I’m here. Sean will be here for you, too, whenever you want to tell him. And Mom and Dad—”

  “You can’t tell them,” she cut me off. “Promise me.”

  “I won’t,” I said. “But you’re going to have to.”

  “Obviously.” She finally looked up at me, her eyes wet and red and her face pale.

  “Does he know?” I asked through ground teeth. I knew on some level it wasn’t his fault, but I wanted to blast blame everywhere, I was so fucking mad. Hurt, for my sister, for the baby, for everyone.

  Could’ve happened to you.

  Part of me knew that. Knew it last night while wrapped up in Amber, in how much I loved her…but we’d been safe. We’d used two kinds of protection to prevent an outcome like this.

  “Yes, of course he does,” she said, snapping me out of it.

  “And?”

 
“And he’s amazing, Dean. You’d know that, if you gave him half a chance.” She sighed. “He wants to keep it. He wants to marry me when I turn eighteen. Wants to take care of me.”

  “He loves you.”

  “Yes.”

  “Good,” I said. That was something, at least. “And you?”

  “Me what?”

  “What do you want?”

  She swiped at the tears running down her cheeks. “I wanted to marry him, thought about our lives together beyond college. Someday, making babies and having SUVs and all that stuff.”

  “And now?”

  “I love him. I do. But I’m scared, Dean. I’m so freaking terrified. I don’t know how to be a mom,” she cried. “How can I be good? How can I do this and not ruin the baby for life?”

  I wrapped my arms around her and let her sob into my chest. “We’ll figure it out,” I said. “Together. You have people who love you, Tessa. No matter what. I promise. You won’t be in this alone.”

  A heavy weight sank to the bottom of my lungs, cutting off my air supply.

  My baby sister was going to have a baby.

  Way sooner than I ever imagined, if I even imagined it at all.

  A buzzing in my pocket had me fishing out my cell while Tessa still dumped buckets on my shoulder.

  Tanner.

  Demanding I come in today. On a Saturday. To finish what I’d started.

  To find the source of Ask Me Anything.

  I typed out a fast text and coaxed Tessa back to her bed. I placed a glass of ice water on her nightstand and tucked her in like she was seven years old and having nightmares after Sean and I made her watch Jurassic Park with us. Grabbing the trash can from the bathroom, I set it next to her bed.

  “Thanks,” she said, curling on her side.

  I pushed a few strands of hair off her face and kissed her forehead. “I love you, Tessa,” I said. “Somehow, this will all work out. For now, just rest.” I headed to her door. “Call me if you need anything. I’ll be back in a few hours.”

  “Okay,” she said, her eyes already falling closed in exhaustion.

  …

  “You got here quick,” Tanner said as I stepped into his office. “And with no resistance about it being a Saturday?” He tilted his head. “Perhaps you’re finally understanding that this is best for everyone.”