Hot Dog Girl

by Jennifer Dugan

  “I just.” I take a deep breath. “I don’t know either, okay? But I want to help. If you need someone to hug or scream at or, I don’t know, punch or something, I want to help.” I pause, biting my lip and wishing I didn’t suck so bad at this. “But please don’t really punch me. I was only trying to be dramatic and you know I bleed easily.”

  Seeley’s lips, once pinched tight against a frown, break into a smile as she starts laughing. I know this is all part of it, probably, this roller coaster of emotions she’s on. But I can’t help but feel, if she can laugh like that, she’s gonna be okay.

  She wipes at her nose and takes a shuddering breath. “Does my makeup look okay?”

  I rub a finger under her eye, but it’s no use. “You look like a raccoon after a three-day bender.”

  “You be nice to me, Elouise Parker, or I’ll tell.” And now it’s my turn to smile, like I did when we were little and she threatened me with that on the daily.

  I grab her hand and pull her up. “Please don’t tell.”

  CHAPTER 25

  “Hi.”

  I slam my locker door shut and jump so high I hit my elbow on the lock. “You scared the crap out of me, Jessa.”

  “I have cake mix.” She holds out the grocery bags in her hands like some sort of offering. “I have a lot of cake mix. All the flavors you guys could possibly want for the bake sale and more. I want to help.”

  I grab them and shove them into my locker, hating the way the plastic sticks to my skin. Who even gets plastic bags anymore, knowing how bad they are for the environment?

  “Thanks,” I say, “but I think Nick’s making them from scratch.” I grab my hot dog suit and head into the changing room, but she follows me. I roll my eyes and shimmy into my leggings. It’s pretty hard to feel like you have the moral high ground when you’re standing in a cami and green tights pulling on a hot dog bun, but I do my best.

  “Can we talk?”

  “I have to be the hot dog right now, obviously.” I gesture to my suit. “So, no.”

  “I need to explain.” She scoots after me, and I hate the way her dress rustles around her. It’s annoying, like pencil tapping during a test is annoying, or someone snapping gum in your ear.

  “You don’t actually,” I say, darting past her and heading for the nearest exit. “If you really want to explain it to somebody, you should explain it to Nick.”

  “Come on.” She cuts back between me and the door, trapping me inside, and seriously? Seriously? Because I’m already starting to sweat.

  “You know there’s a time limit on how long I can be in this suit. Now move.”

  “No,” she says, “not until you listen to me.”

  I try to elbow her out of the way, but she pushes back and I go flailing into the wall. A princess and a hot dog wrestling in the middle of the park breakroom, and of course I’d be on the losing end. A bunch of people look up, and a group of guys from the ride crew walk in—friggin’ perfect.

  Jessa looks a little shocked and offers me her hand. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.”

  I slap it away and push myself upright with what little dignity I can muster. “Just get out of my way.”

  I can hear her skirt rustling behind me as I shove open the door and break into a jog. This is stupid because a) this suit weighs roughly a thousand pounds and acts as an insulator, b) it’s probably ninety degrees out here right now, and c) she’s right behind me anyway because of course she can run in heels. I mean, she’s Jessa. Perfect Jessa.

  Perfect Jessa who has two people in love with her and probably doesn’t give a crap about either one of them, and because of what, a complicated family life? Is that what Ari was implying? Hello, I’m the poster child for complicated family life and you don’t see me being horrible and . . . oh. Okay, but still, screw this.

  I turn around so fast I almost tip over. “What do you want?” I shout, and try to ignore the stunned faces of all the children who have probably never seen a giant hot dog scream at Cinderella before. One bursts into tears, and I immediately feel like the worst. Add it to the list.

  Jessa puts her hands on her hips. “I want to explain.”

  “It’s eight thousand degrees outside, and I am dressed like a hot dog.” A bead of sweat trails down my face and drips off the tip of my nose before I can wipe it. “Not. The. Time.”

  “All right, later, then.”

  I drop my head back as far as it goes in this suit; raising my hands in the air at all the poor life choices that led to this moment and at the universe that put me on this planet in the first place. Because, seriously? I mean, seriously?

  “Meet me by the castle at the end of your shift,” she says, “or I’ll come find you.” I’m sure she means it in a nice way, like if I can’t get to her she’ll come to me or whatever, but it doesn’t feel nice.

  “Whatever,” I say, heading down the path toward the food court. I may be sweaty and miserable now, but the show must go on. Even if it kills me.

  CHAPTER 26

  I dart into the changing room to swap my suit for my park uniform, and then head to the bathroom. I want to wash the sweat off my face and maybe even shore up my self-esteem with some perfectly applied lip gloss before heading over to Jessa.

  There’s nothing to be done with my hair—it was a goner the second I saw the forecast for today. But still, I pull as much of it as I can under my fingertips, wrapping it three times with a black elastic. Angie walks in as I finish up, glaring at me in the mirror as she walks by, and okay, I guess I deserve that.

  I scoop my hot dog suit off the floor where I tossed it, and shove it into one of the large garment bags we keep stashed in the back of the breakroom. We’re not allowed to carry our characters without one; Mr. P’s afraid it will traumatize the children.

  Seb is sitting at one of the breakroom tables looking a little sweaty-sick as I walk out and check the time. I should be at the castle already probably, but Cinder-home-wrecker is going to have to wait a few.

  “You okay?” I ask.

  Seb gestures toward his Gatorade. “Will be,” he sighs. “Why is it so hot?”

  “Because it’s summer?”

  “Right,” he says, lowering his head to the table. “Oh, my mom says to tell your dad hi back, by the way.”

  I chuckle. “Awesome. But if they keep this up, we should start charging them for this service.”

  “You taking that to Marla?” he asks, pointing toward my bag.

  “Yep.”

  “Tell her I’m sorry again.”

  “Man, I’m everybody’s messenger today,” I tease, and I hear him laugh as I head out the door.

  * * *

  • • •

  Marla eyes me as soon as I step inside. “Please tell me you didn’t get sick again. I’ve lost three suits to puke already today.”

  I set my bag on the counter. “No, gross, but thanks for the visual. I’m just checking it back in. Who went down today?”

  “Seb, Megan, and Ari.”

  “Ari?” That doesn’t make sense at all. Seb and Megan are both costume kids like me, so that’s not really out of the ordinary. But Ari? He’s got no excuse. He’s just in a glorified suit.

  “Yeah, poor kid. I don’t know what happened, but he left early and there’s puke all over his shoes. He looked like he was about to cry.”

  “Weird,” I say, and then it hits me. I bet Jessa dumped him or something. I mean, what else would make Prince Charming blow chunks all over his special shiny shoes?

  Marla unzips the garment bag and pulls out the hot dog. “I’d take sweat over puke any day, honey.”

  “Me too. Are you even gonna have time to clean that tonight with everything going on?” I grimace because the idea of having to do another round in that sweat-soaked thing super skeeves me out, but I’m basically at her mercy.

  Marla wi
nks and leans over the counter. “For you, I can get it done.”

  “Thanks, lady.” I give her a wave and head out. If I hurry, I’ll still have plenty of time to catch Jessa.

  My phone beeps as I’m halfway across the park, and I slide my finger across the screen to unlock it.

  Seeley: Funeral tomorrow 10 a.m.

  Me: K, I’ll be there.

  Seeley: Thanks. How’s work? Miss me yet?

  Me: Hardly

  Seeley: Brat

  Me: Punk

  Seeley: You say that like it’s a bad thing.

  Me: . . .

  Seeley: You see Jessa yet today?

  Me: On my way now. Ari puked!

  Seeley: What? Why? Figures all the good stuff happens when I’m stuck home.

  Me: Heading to the castle now for the dirt.

  Seeley: I want an update ASAP.

  Me: Leave your window unlocked then!

  Seeley: Always

  Jessa flings open the castle door, and I jerk my head up. “Hey, I was coming to look for you.” She smiles. She’s still in her princess dress, and that annoying crinkling-paper sound of her skirt roars in my ears again.

  I stop short of her, glancing down at my phone one last time. “Here I am.”

  “You want to come inside?” She stretches out her arm like this is her honest-to-god house. It’s almost too much to take, the way the world seems to hand her things without making her work for it; like, oh, here you go, you want a castle? Have this one! Oh, you want more? How about a beautiful gown and a handsome prince and a diving pirate? Anything else? Anything at all? Gah, I can’t stand it.

  The shift in temperature as I step inside smacks me in the face. “You have air-conditioning?”

  “Yeah.” She slips out of her skirt and tosses it in the corner. “You’d be surprised how hot it gets in this costume. Mr. Prendergast put that little portable AC thing in here for whenever we need to cool down for a minute.” She fans herself with a piece of paper and tugs at the sweaty leotard she has on underneath.

  “I wear a twenty-five-pound hot dog suit—trust me, I would not be surprised.” I rub my hands up and down my arms, warming them up as I look around the room. It’s not very big, a little larger than the size of an average bathroom, really, but there’s enough space for two chairs and a tray. I wonder how much time Jessa and Ari have spent “cooling down” in here together, and shudder.

  “Right, sorry.” She reaches down and pulls out a couple of small containers, setting them on the tray. “I got some stuff for us. I made the hummus fresh this morning, and there’s veggie chips, carrots, celery, and, um, ranch dressing that I stole from the breakroom. I didn’t really know what you liked.”

  “I like fries,” I say, to be a jerk.

  “I can run over to the Fry Shack. They always hook me up when Nick wants some.”

  “They do? They always make me pay.” Wow, like I really needed one more reason to dislike Jessa.

  “Oh, I can get fries for you all the time if you want. I don’t mind.”

  “No, that’s okay.” I grab a carrot off the tray and flash her a big fake smile. “I don’t need you to buy me off with fries, but thanks.”

  “I’m trying to be nice.”

  “Okay, well, I want to believe that.” I sigh. “Except that it never came up until now, when you’re actively trying to convince me to keep a secret for you, so . . . ”

  She dips a carrot in her homemade-fresh-this-morning hummus with such a frown on her face that I almost feel guilty. Almost.

  “I just want you to have the whole story before you do anything. That’s all,” she says. “If you get to the end and you still want to tell the whole world—”

  “Whatever you want to tell me, can we just get to it?” I grab another carrot from her pile and drop into the chair across from her. My seat wobbles on the uneven floor, and I try to look dignified while tilting slightly from side to side.

  Jessa bites her lip. “I already broke it off with Ari, just so you know.”

  “I figured.” I flick my eyes to the concrete wall of the little castle. I can’t look at her anymore right now.

  “You did?”

  “Marla told me he puked and left all upset.” I shrug. “I figured it was because you dumped him.” Jessa laughs, like what I said was the funniest thing in the history of funny things. “Are you all right?”

  “No, it’s just . . .” She shakes her head, struggling to get the words out. “Do you honestly think Ari threw up because I dumped him?”

  “Well, didn’t he?”

  “No.” Her voice comes out all deep and scratchy, like she tore her throat up laughing. “Some kid got sick on him, and it triggered a chain reaction.”

  “Gross.”

  “Right?” She takes another deep breath, like she’s trying to reset herself or something. “You need to understand, Ari and I were never this big dramatic thing.”

  “Except he’s totally in love with you,” I say, because I feel like if Jessa is going to break someone’s heart, she should at least have the decency to realize she’s doing it.

  “Ari Seimer is not in love with me.” Jessa’s voice gets a little quiet, a little unsure, as the words come out of her mouth.

  “Okay.” I mean, it is okay. The only reason I told her was to hurt her, not to make her look all excited and confused. “My mistake.” I grab my napkin off the table and toss it in the little garbage can beside me.

  “Elouise, wait.” The fear in her eyes looks real, like she only now realized that I really could take all the toys—hers and mine both—and go home. “Please, you can’t go yet.”

  “Why not?” I stand up, brushing off my pants even though carrots don’t make crumbs. I’d like to think it still conveys an air of nonchalance, though—at least that’s what I’m going for.

  Jessa, however, looks absolutely stricken. “Will you let me explain? Please.”

  I want to say no, but also I’m a teensy bit curious. Okay, maybe more than a teensy bit. “I guess I have another minute or two.”

  “The first thing you need to know is that my mom has these . . . rules.”

  “Rules?” I ask, because what do household rules have to do with anything anyway?

  “More like expectations, really. I have to act a certain way and dress a certain way and . . . we didn’t used to have money like we do now. My mom was a waitress, for god’s sake. We wouldn’t have anything without my stepdad, and it’s like she’s terrified that I’m going to embarrass him or something and he’ll leave.”

  “That’s messed up,” I say, kind of pity-smiling so she knows I’m not a total asshole.

  “Yeah, which is why if my mother ever found out Ari and I were even friends outside of work, she would flip. A townie on scholarship? That’s her worst nightmare. The only reason she’s okay with me dating Nick is because he’s not from here and his parents have money.”

  “Oh, Seeley thought you kept dumping him because your mom made you.”

  Jessa scoffs. “If you think my mom would ever make me dump a dive team captain from a wealthy family, you’ve obviously never met her.”

  “Wait, hang on, do you even like Nick, or are you just using him to get your parents off your back?” I ask. Okay, maybe I shout it a little, but come on.

  “I care about Nick a lot. I would never intentionally do anything to hurt him. But Ari . . . he’s my best friend. He’s my Seeley, basically. Yes, things got out of hand, it was wrong of us and—”

  “If Ari is your Seeley, then you should be with him.”

  “Like you and her are?” She raises an eyebrow, and I recognize the challenge.

  I look down at the floor, wishing I could melt into it. “Yeah, exactly.”

  “Come on, are you really together?”

  “Yeah,” I say, a little too
quickly. “Why would you even ask that?”

  She wipes at her eyes and sniffs. “Because it doesn’t make sense. Angie and Seeley went out the night before you told Nick you were together. And you always seem to have an excuse to be near my boyfriend, when you should be with her.”

  I scratch the back of my neck. “Well, I don’t know what to tell you except you’re wrong.”

  Jessa tilts her head, and for all the times I wished someone like her would see me, this isn’t at all how I dreamed of it happening. “There’s got to be more to it.”

  “There’s not,” I say, and did it get hot in here?

  Jessa narrows her eyes. “Look at your face, Elouise.”

  “I can’t actually look at my face because it’s, you know, on my face.” I check the time on my phone and scowl when I see it’s five thirty. “I should already be home.”

  “You’re lucky. I’m stuck here until after the six o’clock dive show.”

  “There is no six o’clock show,” I blurt out. “How do you not even know that Nick’s last dive is at four thirty?”

  Jessa smirks. “You seem to know an awful lot about where my boyfriend is and when for somebody with a girlfriend.”

  “That doesn’t prove anything.”

  “Listen, Elouise, I won’t see Ari like that again, I swear. It was a mistake, and I fixed it. How about we both just agree to keep our noses out of each other’s business and forget any of this ever happened?”

  I push open the door and keep walking without answering, because what am I supposed to do with all this? What am I even supposed to do?

  CHAPTER 27

  It’s late by the time I get to Seeley’s.

  She was with her mom shopping for “funeral clothes” all evening, and I had to have dinner with my dad first and let him know I was sleeping over. He’s coming to the funeral tomorrow too. I knew he would, but he’s letting me sleep over anyway because he’s cool like that. Also, he knows if he didn’t say yes, I would most likely sneak out anyway.