Heavenly Hoboes

by Bob Brewer

Abe and Shorty went directly to Captain Hedges’ office upon their arrival at the Salvation Army Center. They had decided to ask the Captain for permission to use one of his rooms for a meeting hall. But just as the evening hadn’t progressed well for the somewhat misled initiates, it also held a great disappointment for its leaders. Peon met them at the door to the Captain’s office. “You can’t see him tonight,” the orderly told them while holding out a scratch pad. “See right there? It says he’s in a meeting.”

  Abe looked over Titus’ shoulder. Hedges’ door was open. “But he’s right there in the office,” Abe pleaded. “We only need to see him for a minute or two.”

  “You can’t go in there,” Peon answered, pursing his thin lips to emphasize the finality of his statement.

  “Can I write him a note?” Abe asked.

  At first Peon held the note pad to his chest, but when Abe said ‘Please’ he turned it over and took a pencil out of his pocket liner. “Okay, but make it short. He’s very busy.”

  Abe took the pad. “Can I use that pencil?” he asked. Peon rolled his eyes. “Please?” Abe said, and Titus gave it to him.

  Hedges looked up when Peon went back into his office. He saw Abe and Shorty and motioned them to come in.

  “Captain Hedges,” Abe said as he and McDougal walked up behind Peon and startled him. Peon dropped the container of pens and pencils he was rearranging and its contents scattered like cockroaches over the desktop and floor.

  “I told you he couldn’t see you now!” Titus snapped after he caught his breath.

  “It’s all right, Leroy,” Hedges said.

  “Well!” Peon breathed then got to his knees to retrieve the still rolling writing instruments.

  “What can I do for you?” Hedges said, looking at Abe.

  “Captain Hedges, we sure could use your help.”

  Hedges let a little frown cross his brow. “Are you two in trouble again?”

  “Oh, no, Capt’n,” Shorty answered. “We’re just needin’ to borrow the dinin’ room fer a while.”

  “Certainly, go ahead. But you’ll have to be out in about fifteen minutes. We’ve got band practice, you know.”

  Abe took his hat off and started rolling it nervously around in his hands. “Actually, Captain, we were hoping to borrow it on a more permanent basis. Say two or three times a week.”

  “Before ya answer, Capt’n,” Shorty said quickly. “We’ve got somethin’ to tell ya.”

  The Captain looked confused and curious. He rocked back in his chair. “What is it?”

  McDougal nudged Abe with an elbow. “Go ahead, Mr. Douglas. Tell him.”

  Abe wiped a hand over his mouth and chin. “You know that bible you gave me?” he said. The Captain nodded. “Well, I needed it because we’ve been talking to the Lord and I didn’t know too much about Him before. I kind of thought it might come in handy.”

  “Did it?” Hedges asked.

  “Well, I can’t say for sure yet, Captain. I haven’t had a chance to talk to Him since I started reading it.”

  The Captain made a humming noise and nodded. “You know, Mr. Douglas, you can talk to the Lord anytime you want to. So I guess I’m a little confused. Why do you need the dining room?”

  Abe looked at Shorty who spoke up. “I’m thinkin’ ya don’t quite understand what Mr. Douglas, here, is tryin’ to tell ya, Capt’n.”

  “Oh?” said Hedges. “Well, Mr. McDougal, perhaps you could help him out a little. What is he trying to tell me?”

  The question caught Shorty off guard. “Well, ya see, Capt’n, that’s not really me job,” he begged off. “That’s more in Mr. Douglas’ line.”

  Leroy Titus looked up from his pencil gathering. “I think you’ve used up enough of the Captain’s time. Why don’t you just leave and write him a letter? Here’s a pencil you can keep.” He reached up holding broken yellow stub.

  “It’s got no lead in it,” Shorty snapped, then looked at Abe. “Are ya goin’ to tell him, or not, Mr. Douglas?”

  Abe laid his hat on the Captain’s desk then leaned over it out of Peon’s sight. “Captain, we actually talked to the Lord in person, and He talked to us. It’s not like we were praying or anything. He just showed up one night in the alley.”

  Hedges let his chair spring back and he sat up straight. “Are you sure it was the Lord?”

  “Oh, we’re certain of it, Capt’n,” Shorty chimed in now that Abe had cleared the way.

  “That’s when we asked you for a job,” Abe explained. “You see, the Lord told us to get ourselves cleaned up.”

  “And to put a stop to the drinkin’,” Shorty said.

  “So you were drinking at the time?” Hedges said.

  Abe straightened up. “We were at the time, Captain, yes we were. But the Lord was real. And we’ve seen Him since then, too. We saw Him tonight. Us and a whole bunch of other guys.”

  “Oh, for goodness sakes,” Peon piped up from under the desk. “Captain Hedges knows better than that. Don’t you, Captain Hedges?”

  Hedges looked over the pile of papers on his desk at the top of Peon’s head. “Just get the pencils picked up, Leroy. Then maybe you should go out and watch the sign-in book.”

  “It’s all true, Captain,” Abe pleaded. “That’s why we need the room. The police won’t let us go back to the alley anymore.”

  “So you want to use the dining room to meet with the Lord when he decides to come back and see you?” Hedges asked.

  “There’s not a doubt in me mind that he’ll be comin’ back, Capt’n,” Shorty said. “Like He did tonight. And if you’ll be lettin’ us use the room, you’ll be seein’ Him fer yerself along with all the others.”

  Hedges lowered his eyes from their anxious gazes. ”Gee, fellows, I’d really like to help you with this but I’m afraid I can’t. The dining room is the only place where the band can practice, and as you know, we need a lot of practice. I’m sorry but I’m going to have to say no.”

  Peon, who had finished gathering up the writing paraphernalia even before Hedges tried to hurry him out, now stood and ushered them out before they had a chance to appeal their case. In the hallway outside the office he pointed to his register. “You’d better sign in if you want to stay tonight,” he said with a self-important smirk.

  Abe and Shorty signed their names in the book then walked out onto the sidewalk instead of going to the sleeping room. They felt the need to be alone for a while. Heads down, feet moving slowly they ambled and thought about their predicament in the silence of the deserted street. At the corner of the Center building Shorty stopped and stepped in front of Abe. “Well, Mr. Douglas, what have ya got in mind to do now?” he asked as though the entire matter was Abe’s to figure out.

  Abe gazed hard at him. “Mr. McDougal, what did you mean in there when you told the Captain this wasn’t your job?” There was more than a little irritation in his voice. “You might not want to think so, but you’re in this as deep as I am. And I can’t think of everything.”

  “I said that ‘cause yer the one that said we oughta tell the whole world about it,” Shorty came back.

  “I still think we should. I think we’re supposed to,” Abe said.

  “Sayin’ yer right about that, Mr. Douglas. Where do ya suppose we’re goin’ to be tellin’ ‘em from?”

  “Well,” Abe said, laying a hand on the Irishman’s shoulder. “Since you did such a good job getting everyone to the alley tonight, from now on I’m putting you in charge of lining everything up.”

  McDougal coughed his surprise. “Yer what?”

  “I said from now on that’s your job,” Abe said flatly, and started back to the sleeping room door.

  “Yer orderin’ me around again, huh?”

  “No. I just think that’s the way it’s got to be.”

  “Well, I’m thinkin’ I don’t like yer plan.”

  Abe glanced at the starlit sky. “It’s not my plan
that ought to concern you, Mr. McDougal,” he whispered.

  “I’ll be getting’ right on it first thing in the morning,” Shorty whispered back.

  “That’ll be good,” Abe said. He reached for the doorknob but stopped short of opening it when Horace came running up to them. "Oh, gees, we forgot to feed you tonight, didn't we, boy?” Abe said, and patted the old dog’s head. “Just wait here and I’ll go up and get you something.” Horace sat down and ‘woofed’.

  Mc Dougal let out a long, airy sigh. “I’m leavin’ it to you two,” he said with a yawn. “As fer meself, I’m goin’ straight to bed. I’ll be seein’ ya bright and early.”

 

  Captain Hedges had graciously given them the following day off, and right after breakfast Shorty kept his word and struck off to find them a meeting place. “I’ll catch up with ya later on in the day and let ya know what I’ve done,” he said in leaving.

  “Don’t be promising anyone anything,” Abe warned him. “I’m going to take Horace down to get his shots and tags and everything, so I’ll be somewhere between the veterinarian’s and here.”

  “That’s the plan, then,” Shorty said. He gave Abe and Horace a little wave and took off at a fairly fast pace.

  Horace was just finishing his bowl of food. “I’m afraid you’re not going to like this much,” Abe said, and patted his head. “But come on, boy, we’ve got some errands to do.”

  It was a bright, spring morning. The silky blue sky still hung on to a bite of winter’s chill but the air was plump with the crisp sounds of a town coming back to life after a good night’s sleep.

  Abe and Horace walked along at a leisurely pace taking in the sights and watching as the people went about preparing for the new day. Shopkeepers were beginning to open their doors and cars were starting to fill in the empty spaces along the curbs.

  “I didn’t realize the town was so busy,” Abe said aloud. “I guess I’ve never really taken a good look during the day. How about you, Horace? Did you know there was this many people around here?”

  As they walked on Abe noticed that some of the people rushing into and out of the stores were men he had seen at the meeting the previous night. Ezra Taft was one of them. “There’s Ezra, Horace,” Abe said. He raised a hand and called across the street, “’Morning, Ezra.” But Taft didn’t return the greeting, instead he ran into another store next door to the one he had just exited. “Ezra’s a strange fellow, Horace, but I like him, don’t you?” He looked back to see if Horace was still with him. He was, and they kept on walking.

  At the veterinarian’s Abe had to help hold the squirming old dog on the table while the doctor administered his several injections. Each shot brought a pitiful little cry of discomfort from the old boy, and that brought tears to Abe’s eyes. “I wanted to be a veterinarian once, Doc,” Abe said with a sniffle when it was all over. “I guess it’s a good thing I didn’t.”

  “Aw, you get used to it, Mr. Douglas,” the doctor answered, handing Abe a tissue. “You’ve just got to think about the good it’s doing them. By the way, Arthur Hedges called me this morning and said you work for him.”

  “Uh-huh,” Abe said with a nod as he blew his nose.

  “Well, the shots are free, then. But I have to charge you for the tags. That okay?”

  Abe paid the fee and dragged Horace out from under the table. “Come on, boy. You’re a good dog, Horace. Come on, now, let’s go home.”

  Horace quivered and whimpered, but when the doctor opened the front door, he shot out and jumped over the gate. In a flash of red he was gone.

  Abe ran out and tried to call him back but it was a wasted effort. Horace was already out of sight and hearing distance. Abe opened the gate to follow him. “Well, at least you’ve got your tags now. Maybe the police’ll leave you alone,” he said aloud, then waved a goodbye to the veterinarian and started back to the Salvation Army Center.

  Abe was a couple of blocks from the Center when a man he didn’t think he knew ran up to him. His face was flushed a bright red and his bulged eyes held a look of fright in them. He grabbed Abe’s arm and forcefully stopped his forward movement. “You’re not going to believe this,” the fellow said, panting to catch his breath. “But the Lord is going to end the world, today or maybe tomorrow. I don’t know, but real soon it’s going to be poof! We’re all going to be gone. I saw Him just last night, myself.”

  “My God, man,” Abe said, and shook himself loose of the fellows tight grip. “Get a hold of yourself. Have you been telling everyone that?”

  “Absolutely, everyone I can,” the man said. “And it’s the God’s honest truth, so help me.” He looked up quickly, his eyes in motion as he searched the heavens like he expected some terrible catastrophe to come crashing down as they spoke.

  “No. No. No!” Abe shouted at him, and closed his eyes for a long moment.

  The man grabbed his arm again. “It ain’t going to do no good to say no, Mister. His mind’s made up.”

  Abe opened his eyes again and took the man’s hand off his sleeve. “Now, listen to me,” Abe said, staring directly into the man’s fretful eyes. “The Lord’s not about to destroy you or anyone else. You’ve got it all wrong. I was there last night and I saw Him too. So don’t be telling folks that.”

  Tears were beginning to show as the man’s face fell into the somber look of total depression. He let his arms free-fall to his sides. “Why won’t anybody listen to me?” he cried out, but before Abe could try to help him more he dashed away yelling, “The end is coming. The end is coming.”

  Abe looked into the cloudless sky. “Lord, we’ve got a lot of explaining to do tonight,” he said as he put his thoughts into words. “I sure hope you’ve helped Mr. McDougal find us a place to do it in.”