Inevitably (RiffRaff Records Book 8)

by L. P. Maxa

  Kasen: You aren’t going alone are you? You taking one of your million cousin/siblings, right?

  Emmie: Nope. Only me.

  Kasen: Why?

  Emmie: I don’t know. It feels like a cool moment, and I didn’t want to share it with any of them.

  Kasen: What about me? Would you be okay sharing it with me?

  Emmie: You’re in Italy.

  Kasen: You could video call me.

  Emmie: It’ll be late your time.

  Kasen: I think I can stay up past 11 Ems.

  Emmie: Okay, sure.

  But I’d tried calling Kase four times from the waiting room, and then once again after the sonogram tech brought me back. Now I was on the table, my pants pushed down and my shirt pushed up, belly full of cold gel and no baby daddy. I didn’t want to be disappointed that he hadn’t answered, but I was. And this sort of thing was exactly what I’d been worried about from the beginning. I’d been fine with being alone when I found out the baby’s gender.

  But then Kase had wanted to be part of it and I’d gotten my hopes up, excited to share this moment with him. He let me down, and I hated this feeling.

  “You ready?”

  “Yeah.” I couldn’t very well ask her to wait while I tried to call him again. She’d already watched my last attempt go unanswered. I had pride, and she had other patients to see. “I guess something came up. Let’s get started.”

  The door opened, flooding the dimly lit room with the light from the hallway. “Wait.” Kase stumbled in, knocking into a plastic display of a pregnant woman, making the fetus fall out of the uterus. “Sorry, I’m late. This place is a fucking maze.” He bent down and picked up the baby, holding it by the head and using it to gesture as he talked. “I ended up walking into the wrong office and I didn’t realize it until they asked if I was there to give them my sperm sample and—”

  “You’re here.” I was smiling, too big, but I couldn’t seem to help it. Kase was here. He’d showed up for the baby.

  “I’m here.” He grinned, leaning down and placing a quick kiss on my cheek, and I swear the baby did a somersault. “You were right, it felt like a cool moment. I didn’t want to miss it.”

  I almost didn’t know what to do with the fact that he’d flown in from Italy to be here for this appointment. It was a big move, a big gesture. My dad was wrong. Kase wouldn’t bail on us. And if Smith James ever decided to speak to me again, I’d be sure to tell him.

  “Is this Dad?”

  I wiped at a tear, refusing to let it fall. “Yeah, this is Dad.”

  Kase came and sat in the chair next to the exam table I was on, his eyes on the TV mounted on the ceiling, his hand reaching for mine.

  “Okay, let’s see your baby.”

  She placed the wand on my belly and the sound of the baby’s heartbeat filled the room.

  Kase whispered, “Wow.” And then he squeezed my hand in his.

  “I know.”

  “It looks like a real baby.” He glanced at me, then back to the screen like he was afraid to miss anything. “In the ultrasound pics I’ve seen, it looked more like a chicken nugget.”

  I smiled, remembering the few times he’d referred to the baby as a little nugget.

  “Mom? Dad? You want to know the sex?”

  Kase looked to me, his eyebrows raised in question. I nodded, knowing that he’d come all the way for this moment right here. To be with me when we found out if we were having a boy or a girl. “Yeah, yes, we want to know.”

  She moved the wand a few inches to the left, pressing in harder. “And it’s a…. It’s a girl.”

  “Holy shit.” Kase rested his forehead against our hands, chuckling quietly.

  The tech started pressing a series of buttons, taking measurements of our daughter. I was crying, and I wasn’t even sure why. Kase was laughing. His head had moved to my shoulder.

  “You know, my uncles say that fuck-boys always have daughters. It’s karmic balance.” I put my hand on his hair, ruffling it playfully. “So, thanks for my little girl.”

  He pulled back, his eyes still dancing with humor and un-shed tears. “If fuck-boys need daughters for karmic balance, then I’m afraid we’re going to end up with a whole softball team full of them.”

  I gasped, my lips parting.

  His eyes got rounder, my reaction to his words alerting him to what he’d actually said. “Oh, um, yeah, I’m sorry. I don’t even know…I’m sorry, Ems, I didn’t mean it like that. It, uh, it was a joke.”

  I nodded, my heart pounding in my chest like the silly foolish girl I was when it came to Kasen Cadence. It was a joke. He didn’t mean us. He meant whatever gorgeous carefree woman he settled down with, not the chick he accidentally knocked up after a wedding.

  He didn’t mean me.

  I smiled, laughing lightly and trying like hell to play it off as nothing.

  “We’re having a girl, Ems.” He helped me sit up when the sonogram tech left the room, a stack of small black-and-white pictures on the counter for us. “That was…that was a moment I don’t think I’ll ever forget. Thanks for letting me be here.”

  “Thank you, for flying all this way for a thirty-minute appointment.” I hopped off the table, letting him help me down. “I’m glad I got to share it with you.” I wanted to take a picture. I wanted to capture this moment. I wanted to run to my parents and show them that Kase had shown up for his kid.

  I wanted the whole world to see that he was keeping his word and shocking us all.

  “I have to get back to the airport, I shoot tomorrow.” He dropped down to his knees, glancing at me pointedly before putting his hands on my small bump. I closed my eyes, like I knew he wanted me too. “All right, little girl, I’ve got to go to work, but I’ll see you soon.” I bit my lips together to keep my smile in check when I felt him lift my shirt and place a soft kiss on my belly. “Be good for your mom, okay?”

  Once he got back to his feet, I opened my eyes but avoided his gaze. I didn’t want him to see the emotion swimming in mine, the sweet tears that were threatening to fall.

  Kase was proving to be a better man than I ever thought possible. And that?

  That was something I wasn’t sure I could survive.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Kasen

  Flying to see Ems for the sonogram appointment had been a last-second decision. I woke up that morning, set alarms on my phone so I wouldn’t get distracted and miss it when she called that night. The time difference between Italy and Texas was pretty intense. But then I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it. And the more I tried to go about my day, the more distracted I’d become.

  It was all I could think about, how much I wanted to be part of that cool moment. I mean, finding out if we were having a boy or a girl? That was huge. I didn’t want to miss it. So I’d chartered a private plane and got my happy sappy ass back to Texas.

  That was a week ago, and the sonogram picture was taped to the mirror in my bathroom. The Italy trip got extended. A company hired me to get content of a big festival. I loved to travel, I loved to see the world and experience everything I possibly could. But even I had my threshold, and I was starting to miss home.

  And Ems. I was missing Ems. Not in a I-want-to-date-her kind of way, but in a she’d-become-my-best-friend kind of way.

  I pulled out my cell, texting her to check in.

  Kasen: Twenty-one weeks.

  Emmie: She’s kicking like crazy now. I’m the only one that can feel it, but she moves in there like a racoon on crack.

  Kasen: A racoon on crack?

  Emmie: She’s nocturnal.

  Kasen: Are you still not sleeping well?

  Katie promised me that Ems was doing great. She said she was sleeping and eating more than sugar.

  Emmie: I fall asleep fine, but then she starts scurrying around once the clock strikes two.

  Kasen: Maybe she’s a late night party animal like her dad.

  Emmie: Does it freak you out to call yourself
her dad? I still feel weird when I call myself her mom, even if it’s just in my head.

  I had to laugh, because it did still freak me out to call myself her dad. It was surreal. And I wasn’t sure what was more unreal: the fact that I was having a kid or the fact I wanted her to be like me. Even if it was something as silly as her sleeping habits.

  Kasen: I think it’s easier to call myself her dad when I’m talking to you. I don’t tell strangers I have a daughter on the way. I don’t tell people I’m going to be a dad soon.

  Emmie: We’re going to be parents.

  Kasen: Holy shit.

  Emmie: Right?

  Kasen: At least we’re both freaked.

  Emmie: Co-parents, friends, and freaking out.

  Kasen: We should make shirts.

  Emmie: We should.

  I glanced at the clock, doing the math easily in my head. At this point, I was used to calculating our time difference.

  Kasen: Have a good day, Ems.

  Emmie: Have a good evening Kase.

  Texts while I was in Italy

  Emmie: Marley and Talon had their baby.

  Kasen: Oh cool! They were having a boy right?

  Emmie: Yeah, Caspian Owen, they want to call him Co for short.

  Kasen: Why Co? Because Caspian is a fucking mouthful for a toddler?

  Emmie: Idk, they have some weird thing with Kurt Cobain, but didn’t want to name their kid after someone who overdosed more than once.

  Kasen: Makes sense. How’s she doing? Did you get to go see her?

  Emmie: Yes. Yes I did. And it was a terrible mistake.

  Kasen: What? Why?

  Emmie: I asked her what delivery was like, what everything was like. I told her to not hold back, I told her I could take it.

  Kasen: Ems. Why? She’d shot a kid out of her vag and you wanted her to be honest?

  Emmie: She said her “vag” felt swollen and bruised and engorged. And then she showed me her nipples, Kase.

  Kasen: I don’t want to know.

  Emmie: Too bad. They looked like hamburger meat. They were cracked and bloody. There was BLOOD, KASEN.

  Kasen: You know, they say every experience is different for every person.

  Emmie: I’m going to hate you so bad if our daughter makes my nipples bleed.

  Kasen: Can I preemptively tell you how sorry I am?

  Emmie: No.

  Kasen: Did she say anything else? Anything remotely uplifting?

  Emmie: She said, “It’s the worst and the best at the same time. I know that doesn’t make sense. But it’s the most terrifying, painful, exciting experience of my entire life. And I’d do it all over again in a heartbeat if it meant I’d get him afterward.”

  Kasen: Aw, see there Ems? It’s not all bad.

  Emmie: Fuck off.

  Kasen: Fair enough.

  Kasen: You know, Marley and Tal having their baby reminded me. We need to pick out a name.

  Emmie: You have any in mind?

  Kasen: Mercedes.

  Emmie: No.

  Kasen: Cayenne.

  Emmie: No.

  Kasen: Mandy.

  Emmie: Did you pick up a book of stripper names for baby girls?

  Kasen: Those aren’t…well shit. I think I did know a stripper named Mercedes.

  Emmie: I have no doubt.

  Kasen: Okay, first names on the back burner, what’s her last name going to be? Cadence? James? James-Cadence? We could hyphenate.

  Emmie: If we’re going to hyphenate, then why not Cadence-James?

  Kasen: Because your dad hates me and treats our daughter like a disease?

  Emmie: Point taken.

  Kasen: Never mind, names are stressful.

  Emmie: We’ll figure it out.

  Kasen: We always do.

  Kasen: What are you doing?

  Emmie: Watching a movie with Katie and Benson.

  Kasen: Why is Benson there?

  Emmie: He comes by every once in a while, checking on us since Cash is gone.

  Kasen: There are like four other dudes that live within walking distance of Katie’s house that can check on you two.

  Emmie: Oh you’re right, I’ll tell him to stop coming over to his best friend’s house to make sure his new wife doesn’t need anything.

  Kasen: You feeling feisty tonight, Ems?

  Emmie: Apparently.

  Kasen: How’s our girl?

  Emmie: Growing. She’s also developed an addiction to whipped cream in a can.

  Kasen: No whippets.

  Emmie: What’s a whippet?

  Kasen: You really are a good girl, aren’t you?

  Emmie: I was. Until I gave my virginity to a model I met at a wedding.

  Kasen: When I first saw you, I immediately wanted to corrupt you.

  Emmie: Well, you got your wish little fucker.

  Kasen: Funny. Have you talked to your parents?

  Emmie: Nope. They don’t seem to want anything to do with me.

  Kasen: They’ll get over it Ems, I promise.

  Emmie: Have a good day.

  Kasen: Sweet dreams.

  Chapter Thirty-Nine

  Kase

  I was home.

  I plopped on my bed at my parents’ house, breathing in the scent of fresh laundry and my dad grilling out on the patio as I pulled my phone out of my pocket.

  Kasen: Twenty-two weeks.

  Emmie: How does it feel to be back in the States?

  Kasen: Other countries give Texas a bad hick Republican rap, but it’s always nice to be home. How’s the nugget?

  I knew it looked like a real human baby now, and not a chicken nugget. But I was afraid the nickname was going to stick.

  Emmie: It’s official. I popped. Nothing fits except for yoga pants.

  Kasen: Let me see that belly.

  I smiled when my phone rang in my hand. Emmie and I didn’t Face-time call, ever. The one time she’d suggested it, I’d gotten on a plane and flew to see the ultrasound in person. But I was excited to see her, to see the evidence of our daughter growing inside her.

  I clicked accept and laughed when Emmie pulled her shirt up and turned to the side. “Here she is.” She rubbed her hands on her belly. Her phone seemed to be propped up in the kitchen at my sister’s house.

  “She is growing.” Emmie was beautiful, and even pregnant she looked like a fairytale princess. “You make one hot pregnant chick, Ems.” That was part of a co-parent’s job right? Making sure that Ems knew she was still sexy, even carrying my kid.

  “Thanks.” She came closer to the phone, her shirt still tucked over the top of her rounded stomach.

  “Can anyone else feel her move yet?”

  She picked her phone up and carried me into the living room. “Katie’s felt her a few times, but no one else has asked.”

  I was glad Katie got to be there for those moments, and more than that, I couldn’t possibly be jealous of my big sister getting to feel her niece move in her mother’s stomach. But I wanted to feel her move too, and I felt like a bit of a sap for it. But the more I read in those baby books Emmie didn’t have time for, the more I realized how freaking amazing it all was.

  “Hey, how would you feel about coming to the ranch this weekend? My parents haven’t seen you since I told them about the baby. And I want to see my unborn kid because I’m becoming increasingly obsessed with her.”

  “Yeah, I guess I could drive down for a few days.”

  I shook my head. “Drive? No way.” The highway that stretched between Austin and my family’s ranch in south Texas wasn’t the safest stretch of pavement. “I’ll send a plane. I don’t want you two on the road by yourself for four hours.”

  “I have my own plane.” She rolled her eyes as she plopped down on the couch, kicking her feet up on the armrest.

  “Yours or mine, either way, no driving. Okay?”

  “Okay.” She grinned, tilting the phone down so I could see her stomach again. “Kid? Good luck, your dad is proving to be a bit overprotecti
ve.”

  Chapter Forty

  Emmie

  In the end I took Kase’s plane because I didn’t want to have to communicate with my parents about taking ours. The flight was quick and he’d been there to pick me up from the small private airport. When he saw me, his hands went to my stomach and his lips went to the top of my head. My heart was pounding and I couldn’t stop smiling. It’d been a couple weeks since we’d been together. And I’d missed him. And I hated that I’d missed him.

  We were friends, and we were making this work. But every time he touched me, every time he was sweet to me… It was dangerous. And hazardous to my health.

  I could not fall for the father of my child. I couldn’t.

  “You ready?”

  I smiled, letting him help me out of the car. “Do they hate me like my parents do?”

  Kase wrapped his arms around my neck, letting me rest my forehead against his chest. “Your parents do not hate you, Ems.” He put his hands on my shoulders and pushed me back so we could look at each other. Damn he was handsome. “And my parents are going to love you. I promise, you have nothing to worry about with them, okay?”

  I nodded, letting him take my hand and lead me into the home he’d grown up in. I was a ball of nerves, despite his motivating speech. This tiny baby girl was already down one set of grandparents. I’d hate for Kase’s parents to be angry with us too.

  “Hey, guys, we’re back.” Kase dropped my bag by the front door, helping me down the step that separated the entryway to the living room. He treated me like every step I took might be the one that took me out. I was a freaking ballerina. I could walk a tight rope, pregnant belly or not.

  “Emmie, sweetheart, it’s so good to see you again.” Kase’s mom, Payton, came into the living room wiping her hands on a checkered dishtowel before pulling me in for a warm hug. There was nothing like a mom’s hug, and I hadn’t had one in a really long time. “Let me look at that baby.”

  I tried to hide my tears as she took my hands.

  “Ems? Are you crying?” Kase rested his palm on my back, concern in his gaze.

  I shook my head, smiling. “I’m fine. I’m fine.” I waved away his concern, choking back my emotions. “It’s…it’s really great to be here.”