“Lunch?” she asked, nearly sputtering on the word. “W-we can’t.”
He raised a brow. “And why not?”
She clutched the purse in front of her chest. “Because.”
“Oh, let me guess.” A slightly annoyed look crossed his face. “Richard, right?”
“Yes.” She pursed her lips in a firm line. “Richard, my fiancé, in case you’ve forgotten; and he actually happens to be your brother.”
“How can I forget since you practically remind me every passing second? There’s not a damn chance of that happening.” Swearing under his breath, he moved from behind the desk before taking a perch on the front of it. “For pity’s sake, Hayven, it’s not like I’m taking you to a hotel for a secret tryst. We’re simply going to get something to eat and nothing more.”
She stared at his chest stubbornly. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”
“Look at me, damn it.”
Biting her lip, she did as he bade. “Please don’t curse at me.”
“I’m sorry. But, you make it hard sometimes when you get me frustrated,” he replied with a quick apology. “Granted, I’ve never been much of a gentleman. Yet, there’s never been a time where I’ve taken advantage of a woman in any kind of way. If being seen with me upsets you that much, I’ll have lunch on my own.” He stood to his full stature and now he loomed over her. “I’m not going to force you to go. If you want to leave now, go ahead. As for Richard, he’ll never know that you were here. That information won’t come from me.”
As he fell silent, she struggled with her heart and conscience. While her mind screamed, run like hell, her heart said, ‘go, go, go’.”
But, she couldn’t keep running, she decided, meeting his gaze. “You’re right. Going out to lunch with you will be completely harmless. Actually, we can take this time to discuss and plan our next program event.”
“That’s certainly a valid reason.” Then, as she stood, he cupped her elbow before leading her across the office. “We’ll take my car. Ready?”
“Of course.”
The receptionist was just ending a call as they stepped from the office. “Mr. Alexander, I’m afraid something rather important has come up.” Standing, she extended the sticky note towards him. “A Dr. Stevens called and said that you’re needed at the treatment center immediately.”
They stopped before the receptionist’s desk. Rather than releasing her, he tightened his hold on her elbow. As he accepted the note from the woman, his entire demeanor changed. Gone was the roguish rake from moments before. He’d been replaced by a solemn and concerned man. “Thanks, Rhonda. Cancel the remainder of my meetings. Take the rest of the day off.”
Rhonda nodded. “Of course, Mr. Alexander---I’ll take care of it.”
Without a further word, he pulled her along with him. It wasn’t until they reached the elevator that she broke the tense silence. “Is everything okay?” she asked with concern.
Shaking his head, he sighed hard. “I don’t know.” A look of pain flashed across his face. “It’s Josephine. You know, she’s not well.”
She placed a comforting hand on his arm. “Has something happened?”
“I don’t know. But, whenever Dr. Stevens calls like this it’s never good,” he mentioned seriously, leading her onto the elevator. He quickly punched the button that led to the garage before turning to her again. A serious expression seized his features, and suddenly, he seemed uncertain. “And I know that I don’t have the right to ask.”
“Ask me anything,” she said truthfully and meant it. “I’ll do anything that I can to help.”
“Will you go with me to the clinic?” His eyes perused over her face. “I know that I’ve already bullied you into going to lunch---”
“Don’t be absurd. You didn’t bully me. I want to go,” she said quietly, staring up at him. “And yes, I’ll go to the clinic with you.”
He couldn’t disguise his relief. “Thank you.”
She gave a shy smile. “You’re welcome.”
The drive to the Grove’s Memorial took a little more than half an hour. It was surrounded by other physicians’ office at the medical complex. Unsurprisingly, most of the parking spaces were occupied and they ended up parking on the top level. As they rode in the parking deck elevator, she sensed his rising tension. It was a tension that masked the deep fear inside of him, she realized, surprising him, and grasped his hand. Staying silent, he gripped her hand tightly before leading them off the elevator.
A sterile scent of medicine and antiseptic masked the entire level. They bypassed the sitting area and headed straight for the oncology unit. By the time they reached the doctor’s suite, the hand that gripped hers was shaky. As she firmed her hold on it, she sensed his deep relief.
They stopped before the nurse’s circulation desk.
“I’m here to see Dr. Stevens,” he muttered tensely. “Christopher Alexander.”
“Dr. Stevens is waiting for you in his office,” the young nurse said sympathetically before pointing down the long corridor. “Go three doors down, take a right, and his office will be the second door on the left, Suite 371.”
His nod was brisk. “Thank you.”
A moment later, they entered the doctor’s suite.
Dr. Stevens and the medical team surrounded the huge oblong desk. The doctor stood up at the table’s head before gesturing them towards the only vacant seats. “Mr. Alexander,” Dr. Stevens said politely and nodded at her. “Please have a seat.”
They sat down in the plush chairs, and as soon as they did, he grasped her hand again. She quickly gave him a reassuring squeeze. With all hope, he could withstand the dire news.
Dr. Stevens sighed before sitting down. “This is always the hardest thing about being an oncology specialist: feeling like you should be able offer more hope when you can’t.” His sympathetic stare fell on Christopher. “I’m afraid that the news is grim. We ran tests on your mother earlier, and the lymphoma has basically run rampant. The lymphoma has spread to her lungs, and it shows no indication of stopping. It’s like a speeding locomotive that won’t slow down no matter how hard the brakes are applied. In a situation like this, it’s a body’s typical response when the cancer becomes uncontrollable.” He sighed with regret. “Your mother has a number of things going on, unfortunately. We found major indications of pulmonary embolism. A blood clot has formed in her left lung, and if gone untreated, it could lead to dangerous and even fatal consequences. We’re beginning to see the initial signs of kidney failure, and it’s highly likely that she’ll need dialysis soon.” The doctor paused, allowing him to digest the news. “Your mother is a very sick woman.”
Christopher stiffened beside her. “The chemotherapy---what was the point of it? It seems to me that she went through it for nothing.” He passed the doctor a steely glance, but it was apparent that he was struggling to control his emotions. “Increase the dosage. Bring her in for five days instead of three. Surely, there’s something that you can do.”
She stared at the side of his face.
At the sight of his devastated features, the hot tears sprang to her eyes.
She blinked fast to hold them back.
He needed her to be strong for him and not be a slobbering mess.
“The lymphoma is spreading at too fast of a rate.” Dr. Steven leveled his gaze on him. “At this point, the only thing that we can do is try to ease her pain as much as possible. Mr. Alexander, I’m sorry. I know this isn’t the news that you want to hear.” He paused again. “Your mother is still in the treatment area. Right now, we’re administering blood thinners to try and break up the clot. We’re going to keep her here at the hospital. But, we wanted you to talk to you firsthand before we transported her. Do you have any further questions?”
An uncomfortable look crossed Christopher’s face. “The timeline---has that changed as well?”
“Eight weeks or less. While I’m hesitant to bring it up, you may want to consider making arrangeme
nts and getting in contact with your immediate family members,” Dr. Stevens said point blank. “I’m sorry.”
“Thank you. Is there any pending paperwork that needs signing to expedite my mother’s transportation to the hospital?” He stood abruptly. “I want to ensure that she receives the proper medical attention as soon as possible.”
Stepping closer to him, she grasped his hand tighter, offering whatever comfort that she could. But, she nearly crumpled at the devastated look on his face that he no longer fought to disguise.
The doctor stood and looked directly at them. “All of the necessary paperwork is at the nurse’s circulation desk. Stop by on your way out. As soon as they’re signed, we’ll transport her to a room.”
“Very well,” he said stiffly. “Thank you, Dr. Stevens. I’ve known that you’ve done all that’s humanly possible to help my mother.”
A moment later, they were walking along the corridor once more.
She struggled to keep up with his long strides.
When they neared the small waiting area, she tugged and his hand and forced him to stop. “Christopher, please slow down. You’re going too fast. Better yet, why don’t we just sit down and rest for a brief moment?”
Thankfully, the waiting area was deserted.
Rather than stopping at any of the vacant seats, she led him towards the balcony area. The cool September air was crisp and fresh, and she ignored the shivers that racked through her as they stopped at the railing. Instead, she grasped both of his hands in hers as she faced him. “Look at me, Christopher.”
He looked at her reluctantly. “What?”
“You don’t have to pretend with me,” she said softly, tightening her hold. “I know that you’re hurting, and its okay to hurt. You’re not alone.” Before he could muster a word, she hugged him close. “I’m here.”
For a brief second, he hesitated. As he released a regretful sigh, his rigid form relaxed against hers. “Everything’s fucked up. Damn it, princess. You’ve got your own problems to contend with. I’m sorry for dragging you in the middle of this---”
“You’re not dragging me into anything.” Pulling back slightly, she looked at him as her gaze softened. “As a matter of fact, I’m glad that I am here. Despite everything that’s happened, we’ve always been friends, and I’ll always care about what happens to you. If there’s anything that you need, I’m here. You’re not alone. Never forget that.”
Hugging her tighter, he silently accepted her words.
Within the silence, she embraced her inner turmoil.
Why did being in his arms feel like home?
It was the very place that she wanted to be forever.
Suddenly, their separation didn’t mean anything.
For the longest time, they just stood there, embracing. Though neither of them voiced it, it was more than apparent that they’d reached a new plateau. It wasn’t until a small group of people entered the waiting area that they broke apart.
They journeyed to the nurse’s circulation desk. As Dr. Stevens had proposed, there was paperwork awaiting his signature. She stayed close to his side as he signed each one, and it was obvious that her presence was wanted and needed.
“Thank you, Mr. Alexander,” the nurse smiled politely. “When we have a free room available, we’ll transport your mother.”
He gave a brisk nod. “How long do you anticipate that being?”
The nurse checked her chart. “Roughly a half-hour or less. We’ll notify you as soon as she’s transported.”
They strayed away from the circulation desk.
“You want to go to the cafeteria and have coffee,” she suggested quietly, glancing at him as they walked. “Maybe by that time they’ll have your mother’s room ready.”
“I’m sorry, Hayven.” He sighed with regret and stopped. “I promised you lunch---”
She placed a gentle finger over his lip and shushed him fast. “Hey, stop that.” She looked at him concerned. “Don’t worry about me. I’m fine. Besides, we can grab a sandwich or something while we get coffee.”
“But, I’ve already taken too much of your time,” he muttered quickly. “Plus, I know that you’re concerned about Richard’s reaction to us sharing lunch.”
A guilty flush stained her face. “Richard is out of town and won’t return until sometime next week. So, there are no worries about that. Plus, I’m sure that he’d understand my being here. We’re not going to argue about this.” Shaking her head, she tugged on his hand and began leading him towards the cafeteria. “Come on.”
A half hour later, they were stepping off the elevator onto the 11th floor.
Again, the smell of antiseptics and medicine overwhelmed the area.
As they passed the nurse’s circulation, she spied the waiting room before pulling him to a halt again. “I’ll stay in the waiting area,” she said softly, sliding a concerned look over him again. “You take as much time as you need with your mother.”
His grip tightened on her hand. “No. I want you to come with me.”
In his firm hold, she sensed both his fear and distress. “Okay.” She smiled at him gently. “I’ll go with you.”
Room 1127 was the last room on the right.
Once they reached it, she stood alongside him as he rapped on the door gently. The nurse pulled the door open quietly, and the room was dimmed since the blinds were tightly closed. Still, the nurse ushered them in before speaking in a low conspiratorial tone. “She was in such pain that we had to give her a sedative.” A sympathetic look played in her eyes. “For the evening, it’ll pretty much be touch and go. Of course, you can stay and visit with her until visiting hours are over.”
She was nearly overcome with tears as he left her side and journeyed to his bedridden mother. Never before had she witnessed such a pure look of loss and devastation. Though he fought to stay strong, it seemed that he’d fall apart at any given moment. Swallowing hard, she faced the nurse. “Thank you.”
The nurse patted her hand. “If you need anything, just buzz the nurse’s station.”
She nodded. “Thank you, again.”
After the nurse left, she trailed to his side.
He started when she clasped his hand.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.” She gave his hand a comforting squeeze. “I know that this is hard, and your being here is enough for now.”
“I don’t know how to help her,” he rasped hoarsely before turning towards her defeated. He blinked fast at the hard tears glistening in his eyes. “What do I need to do?”
“Come here,” she whispered, bright-eyed, hugging him close. Then, she stared at no particular point across the distance and voiced the only truth. “There’s only one thing to do. Pray.”
Chapter 29
By the time they departed the hospital room, it was nightfall.
8:32 pm to be exact.
As he took the driver’s seat and slammed the door, she turned in his direction. The parking light slanted into the car and fell along his tired features. Again, she was swamped with emotions that she didn’t want to acknowledge. Yet, she was forced to at the same time. For how could she not offer him comfort at his darkest hour? Wasn’t her heart breaking along with his? She took in his troubled expression. “Are you okay?”
“I’m tired.” A frustrated breath left him. “I feel useless, and there’s not a damn thing that I can do about anything. If I get away from here for just a moment, maybe I can figure things out.” Bracing his arms across the steering wheel, he stared unseeingly through the front glass. “Why does life have to be so fucking depressing? Does anything good ever happen to anybody?”
“Don’t think like that,” she murmured, laying a hand on his arm. “Of course, there are good things that happen.”
He glanced at her with a sad smile. “Always the optimist, aren’t you, princess?”
“It’s the only way that I know how to be---” The words died in her throat as he grasped her chin and forced her to look a
t him. Although she fought to suppress them, a rush of sensations flooded through her. “What is it?”
“Give me the pleasure of having dinner with me at my place.” His stare turned more piercing as it perused over her face. “I’d planned on grilling a couple of steaks and having a beer. The least thing I can do is feed you after dragging you around this place all damned day.”
“I didn’t mind, and I wanted to be here. You don’t owe me anything” she said shyly, dropping her eyes to his chest, and then looked at him again. Though it was a weak attempt, she fought not to give in. “You can drop me off at my apartment---”
“I’m not past the point of begging. So, please, have dinner with me. I need your company. Not only that, but I enjoy it.” He caressed the side of her face with his thumb. As his eyes roamed over her face, they burned with something else. That something else was a look that had slain her on more than one occasion. “I need something to remind me that the entire universe isn’t fucked up. For some reason or another, you are that voice of reasoning.”
She fought to suppress the shivers at his not-so-innocent touch. “In other words, I’m that boring,” she said, dazed, and tried to breathe normally. Yet, she was finding it difficult to seeing as she was literally and figuratively breathing in every inch of him. “I don’t know if that’s complimentary or not.”
“You’re hardly that, princess,” he said seriously. “There’s more to you than meets the eye, and it’s a truth that I’ve always known.” He leveled his intense stare on her again. “So, again, please don’t force me to dine alone. The last thing that I’m looking forward to is my own miserable company. I promise, afterwards, I’ll get you back to your apartment safely.” His half-grin was deadly in the darkness. “So, say yes.”
The smile left her before she could contain it, and then with reluctance, she pushed his hand away from her face. “Yes, as long as it’s not too late.”
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