Because I Love You

by A'zayler

  “He’s just different. He’s not like the other men I’ve met. He’s strong-minded, like, he’s not a flunky or anything like that.” I nodded as I found a good way to describe Egypt without making him sound like a tyrant. “I don’t think he ignores command because he’s loyal to BB and the Bloods, but you’re not going to just walk up and tell him what to do.” I shook my head and smirked as I thought about Egypt. “He’s not like that. He’s sort of a loner, does his own thing.”

  “Is that why you like him? Because he’s not a flunky?”

  I laughed when he tossed my words back at me. “I guess,”

  The room was quiet for a minute before he laughed to himself. I wasn’t sure why he was laughing, so I didn’t join.

  “Alright then, Miss. Dream. I appreciate the info.” He dismissed me.

  “Are you going to hurt Egypt and BB?” I couldn’t leave without knowing.

  He cleared his throat and stood to his feet. “Maybe, maybe not.”

  I quickly grabbed his hand without thinking. The way he looked at me outlined my mistake. I let it go as quickly as I’d grabbed it.

  “Sorry, I just… I don’t want you to hurt them. Please, I’ll do whatever you want me to, just don’t hurt them. Please.”

  “You’ll beg for the life of a man who hates you?”

  When he said it like that, it made me sound stupid, but yeah… I guess I would.

  “I want to see you again.” He looked around Master’s office in disgust. “Outside of here.”

  I nodded in a hurry. “When? I’ll give you my number.” That was totally outside of Master’s rules for me, but for Egypt, BB, and Zebrina, I’d do whatever I had to do.

  “Cool, do that.”

  “Will this keep you from hurting them?”

  He looked at me long and hard. “For now, but keep this between you and me. If I hear it again, all bets are off, and whatever happens to your friends is on you.”

  My heart nearly stopped then, but I would go with it for now. I put my number in his cell phone and followed him out of Master’s office. Everything about this man made me uneasy, but I’d do what he said until he went against his word.

  The first sign of wavering on his part, I would tell Egypt and BB. After that, it was every man for themselves. I didn’t know much about this man, but I had faith in my Bloods. My stomach flipped when I saw Master. If this went badly, I would never forgive myself.

  Chapter 7

  -Egypt

  “You know I’m out here hurting like hell. Streets dry as fuck,” I told Auto as I sat in my car talking to him on the phone.

  “Shid, I bet they ain’t dryer than your dick, nigga. When’s the last time you got some pussy? I heard how you be out there stiff arming these bitches.”

  I cracked the fuck up when that nigga said that off the subject shit. He was laughing right along with me because he probably knew how crazy he was for even saying it.

  “Man, whatever person worried about me needs to get out my business and go suck some dick or something.”

  “Aight, bet. Watch and see what happens when I tell Logan what you just said.”

  Me and that fool were dying laughing again. “Nigga, you ain’t shit.”

  “You should have already known it was her. I don’t trust nobody but y’all. It ain’t another person in the world who can tell me shit, and I believe it but y’all.”

  “Facts, blood. But, damn, don’t tell her that. You know she’s with that pissy ass alcoholic right now. She gon’ be topping that nigga off, and your ass is going to be crying to me about the shit. I’m telling you now, I don’t want to hear it.”

  Auto groaned in the phone and followed it up with sucking his teeth real loud. Like we always did whenever we talked, we both burst out laughing again.

  “Fuck your bitch ass for even saying that.”

  “That’s what you get. You knew better than to reference my sister and sucking dick in the same sentence anyway.”

  “You the one brought her up. I was just checking on you to make sure you’re getting the pussy you need. I know you, and I know you’ll hug the block all night and not take time to do shit else.”

  “Gotta get this money.” I leaned back in my seat and rubbed my hand across my forehead.

  “I feel you. Just get you a life too. It’s a lot of shit I see differently now, sitting in this dirty ass prison. I’m telling you, if I could go back, I would have married your sister and kicked that street shit to the curb. It don’t love you, for real.”

  “Shit, I know, but that was some work that couldn’t go unaddressed,” I said, referencing the nigga he’d put down bad behind fucking with my sister. I may have hated that my boy was locked up right now, but the reason behind it was nothing but love and respect.

  “No doubt. You already know how I’m coming about your sister anyway. I’d do that again and again. Even if she is up there giving all my loving to that nigga.” He groaned again, and I laughed hard as hell. “Man, nigga I don’t know what you’re laughing at. My stomach be hurting every time I think about it.”

  “I don’t see how. You need to let it go, Blood.”

  “Fall in love then come tell me that stupid shit you just said.”

  I looked out of my window and watched the people walking up and down the street. “You already know I ain’t loving these hoes. Nothing but my paper.”

  “How Master hoe ass acting?”

  “The same. I want to get away from that nigga so bad, but I ain’t trying to fuck with that Crip nigga, Pat.”

  “Shittin’ me. Paper is paper. As long as that nigga respects your set, get that work. Ain’t nobody telling you to be best friends with the fool.”

  “You know me, though. I don’t know any other way but disrespect.”

  Auto chuckled. “Hell yeah.” He yelled something fucked up to the guard before coming back on the phone. “I’m about to kill one of these bitch ass niggas in here.”

  “Get it then,” I encouraged. I was all about violence. If a nigga wanted an issue, give it to his ass.

  “Already, but aye, I’ma check on some shit for you with that nigga Pat and see if you can get something worked out, and I’ll hit you. In the meantime, find you a girlfriend and lay in some regular pussy. I know you fucked up about your mama, but the right woman can help you heal.”

  “You have thirty seconds remaining,”

  The operator interrupted our call before I could really respond to him. Our call ended a few seconds later. Since I was still in my car, versus going to the trap, I decided to head home for a minute. I was stressed out about so many things and needed to spend some time with myself to try and sort it all out. As soon as I got to my house, I changed out of my street clothes and dressed in a simple pair of cotton shorts and a shirt to match.

  My jewelry and sneakers came last. Once I was ready, I was out of my house and in my Challenger. I drove it on my down time to keep somewhat of a low profile. I was sure anybody who knew me for real would recognize me anywhere, but I still felt better and more discreet outside of my old school whip. Once I got to where I needed to be, I grabbed my backpack and got out. With my gun and a few books in it, I headed inside the library.

  Since it was later in the evening, the library wasn’t packed. It was actually fairly empty, just how I liked it. I didn’t do a lot of shit in my free time, so I chilled and read books and shit. It always helped me get my mind right. That was one of the only things that I’d kept up since my mother had died. She and I used to read books together all the time, more at the end of her life, which was why it made me feel closer to her.

  I knew nobody would understand that, though, so I never told anyone. Not even Logan and definitely not my fake holy rolling daddy. Just me and my mama. Once I was on the floor with her favorite book in my hand, I opened it back up to the page I’d left off on and got down to it. My reading was relaxing just like I needed it to be. Every so often someone would walk past, or laugh out loud, but for the most part, the s
ilence was perfect.

  I had just paused to close my eyes when I heard a familiar voice. I looked around in search of it. When I found it, she was accompanied by an older lady. They were both pointing upward at a book on a higher shelf than they were obviously able to reach. I watched for a minute because I wasn’t much taller than either of them, but I was sure I could reach the book.

  Without a word, I walked over to them, stood behind her, and grabbed the book. I handed it to her and went back to where I’d been sitting. Like I’d known she would, she looked back at me all surprised and shit. I didn’t linger. I put my head back down and went back to my book. A couple of minutes passed before I felt her presence.

  “Thank you,” she told me as she sat down on the floor near me.

  I looked up because I didn’t understand why she was by me, but I stayed looking up because of how pretty she was. It was amazing how the same person could look so ugly and so pretty depending on the time of day you saw her.

  Today, her locs were pulled into a big, circular bun going to one side at the bottom of her neck, and she was dressed casually in a jogging set. The shorts and jacket looked cute together and even cuter on her. She had the body for it. The gold in her mouth contrasted with it terribly, but I loved the hell out of it. It was sexy to me.

  “You good,” I finally told her. “What you doing up in here?” I couldn’t help but ask her.

  I knew it had been a stupid question when I asked because she had a cup of coffee in one hand, with a book and her phone in the other. Her headphones were hanging from her phone, so she was obviously about to listen to music while she read and drank coffee, which were normal activities in a library. Just not for her. She should have been somewhere in one of those fake boutiques in the mall buying some cheap ass outfit to match her Payless heels. It was late, so I was almost positive that it was prime time for selling pussy.

  “On a date with Zebrina. She needed to study, and I needed to clear my mind, so I came to read while she studied.” She looked at the book in my hand and raised her eyebrows. I knew that was going to come sooner or later. “I never pegged you as a Bible reader.”

  “I never pegged you as a reader at all,” I shot back.

  She smirked and nodded once. “I guess I had that coming.” She giggled and sipped from her coffee cup. “Sorry.”

  “It’s cool. You need to be reading it too.”

  She looked down at the Bible that I had open on my lap. Her stare turned into somewhat of a daze. “I do, all the time. It’s the only thing that helps me make it through most days.”

  I agreed with that. As much as I hadn’t wanted to believe in God after my mother passed, he was always my comfort, so slowly, I was making my way back toward him.

  “Well, I won’t bother you. I just wanted to say hey.”

  She was looking at me, and I saw that same little twinkle as she gathered her things. It was so crazy to me how she still liked me after how mean I was to her all the time. I could tell that deep down she was either a sweet person or in desperate need of some type of love.

  “Where you about to read at?” I stopped her from standing.

  She shrugged.

  “You can stay right here if you want to.”

  She smiled and blinded the hell out of me with her sexy ass gold grill. “You sure?”

  After I nodded once, and she made herself comfortable again, but this time she sat next to me so that our shoulders were touching. I watched her open her book and scroll on her phone. I don’t know what possessed me to grab that girl’s phone, but I did it anyway.

  “Let me see what niggas you be talking to.”

  Unlike most girls, she didn’t reach for it. She sat there smiling at me all hard while I clicked on her screen. When it didn’t open, I looked back at her.

  “It’s face identifiable only.”

  “No wonder you ain’t care if I grabbed it.” I turned it to her face, and she smiled hard as hell.

  So hard that I was smiling with her. When I turned her phone back around, it was open. “You need to make my face identifiable on this shit too.”

  “For what? We ain’t like that.”

  “You don’t know what we like.”

  She sucked her teeth. “Yes, I do. You hate me.”

  I tried to hold in my laugh because she really thought that. She’d said the same thing to me at the party house the other night.

  “You tripping.”

  “Nah, you tripping. Give me my phone back.” She snatched it out of my hand and stuck it between her thighs.

  I looked down at it and thought about trying to get it but changed my mind. We’d look freaky as hell sitting in the library with my hands stuck between her thighs. I was about to tell her how nice she looked when Zebrina walked up on us looking like the African Queen that she was. Beautiful was an understatement for Brina. She was the kind of pretty you saw in magazines. It didn’t help that BB kept her labeled up and poised as a muthafucka. She was good people too. Just as beautiful on the inside as she was on the outside.

  She smiled at me before looking at Dream. “Look at your fast behind up here with this boy.” Her eyes came to me before she smiled mischievously. “Hey, Egypt.”

  I smirked and nodded at her. She was probably judging me for all the shit I’d been talking about Dream the other day at Master’s house. I couldn’t blame her, though. I’d been on some hateful shit then and was damn near cuddled up with her now. Dream didn’t need to know that, though.

  Dream shook her head. “We’re just chilling. You done already?”

  She nodded. “The people in my study group ain’t show up, so I’m finna go. You ready?” Her questioning gaze came to me again, and I didn’t know why. I sure as hell wasn’t about to beg Dream to stay.

  “Uh, yeah, let me just put this book back.” She hopped up and walked off, leaving me there with her homegirl.

  “I thought you hated her?” she asked me with squinted eyes.

  “I do.” I smiled at her, and she smiled back while shaking her head.

  Her smile returned as she pointed her finger at me. “You better stop playing mind games with my friend, Egypt. She’s too sweet for your mess.”

  “I’m not playing shit with her. That be her all over me. I was over here chilling. She came fucking with me.”

  “You know she likes you.” Zebrina looked over her shoulder before saying anything else. “Really, really, likes you, so stop hurting her feelings. You do it all the time.” She rolled her eyes at me, and I laughed.

  “Why? How you know she don’t see me the same way as she sees these other niggas she be fucking?”

  Zebrina’s smile faded and was replaced with a ‘nigga please’ look. “You’re an idiot.” She looked behind her again. “Plus, Azayna’s dressed down today. She doesn’t let anybody she entertains see her like that, so you’re clearly different. You just want to be difficult.”

  I stayed quiet for a minute because she might have had a point. Out of all the years I’d ever seen her on the block, not once had I saw her looking the way she looked today or the other day at the grocery store, and when I’d first met her, she didn’t have dreads.

  “All I’m saying is she must think higher of you than she does them, so you should stop taking advantage of her. Being nice won’t kill you.”

  “Zebrina, don’t be over here interrupting my friend while he’s trying to read.” Dream, or Azayna, whatever she wanted to be called, walked back to us with a playful smile on her face.

  When I looked up at her, her eyes did that little twinkle before she looked away. The li’l shy act she had going on was kind of cute, but I didn’t see why she wanted to be shy with me. I wasn’t nobody.

  “She’s straight. She’s not bothering me, Azayna.” I said her name dramatically.

  She playfully pushed Zebrina’s shoulder. “Don’t be telling Egypt my real name. He doesn’t even like me like that, girl.”

  Zebrina smiled hard and waved her hand in my direction.
“Girl, don’t let Egypt fool you. He does like you.”

  I laughed at Azayna’s silliness. She was mad cute and obviously trying to be nice, so I dropped the hard act and did my best to be polite back to her.

  “He’s just trying to act hard. It’s all a front, boo.”

  “That’s hard to believe. I’m sure he’s been on pins and needles since he’s been in here. Scared somebody might see him and say he was in the library on a date with Dream.”

  I looked at her and frowned. “Quit that shit.”

  Zebrina pinched Azayna’s side. “Quit that shit, Zay. He is your friend. Ain’t you, Egypt?”

  I let my eyes trail from the red running shoes on Azayna’s feet up to her sexy legs, to the small curve of ass she had before going to her face. She was watching me curiously, waiting for my answer. I licked my lips slowly before nodding. Our eyes were on each other’s when I stuck my hand out for her to grab. She took it quick as hell.

  “It’s nice to meet you, Azayna. I’m Egypt.”

  The way she blushed made me feel like I was in middle school again. “I love your name,” she whispered behind her smile.

  “I love yours too. You should let me use it more often.”

  “Oh my goodness, friend.” Zebrina looked at Azayna and fanned herself dramatically. “Let him use it.”

  Azayna and I laughed together, still holding hands. I hadn’t let hers go yet, and she had a death grip on mine.

  “He can use it anytime he likes,” she said while looking at Brina.

  I squeezed her hand and pulled her closer to me. By the time she looked at me, it was too late. She was already on her way to my lap. I’d moved my Bible and set it on the floor next to me. I grunted a little when she tumbled into my lap. I used my other arm to steady her. Her perfume calmed my spirit in such a soothing way. I could tell by the way she was looking at Zebrina and not at me that she was still kind of nervous.

  I pulled her to my chest some so that my mouth was closer to her ear. “You got a man, Azayna?”

  She shook her head while shying away from my mouth, but my hand to the other side of her face stopped all that and pulled her right back to me.