Cherry Bomb (Brighton #1)

by Carmel Rhodes

  “I’m a mess,” I sob.

  “No more than me,” she says fanning her tears. “I can’t be crying. I just got lash extensions.”

  I chuckle sadly. Sunnie is and will always be Sunnie. “I used to think I was better than you,” I admit after a few beats of silence.

  “You are better than me. That’s why I hated you so much.”

  “I fucked Arden’s dad,” I blurt out. “Since we are confessing our sins or whatever.”

  Sunnie sits up. Humor lights in her eyes. “I knew you were banging him.” She grins.

  “Of course, you did, which is why you were flirting with him.”

  “I swear, my days of fucking your boyfriends are over.” She makes the sign of the cross over her heart. “I just thought it was funny.”

  “It will never be funny.”

  “Chill, baby sister. Even if I wanted to fuck him, he’s not a Trav. He only has eyes for you.”

  “Had,” I correct. I’m sure Cash has moved on by now. He’s too much of a man to sit around pining over me. He’s probably with someone Arden doesn’t hate, and they will probably have two point five perfect blond-haired, blue-eyed children.

  “Cherry, the self-deprecating thing is annoying. He’s in love with you.”

  “He can’t have us both.” I recite the words and turn slowly to my sister. “Do you think Dad would choose a woman over either of us?”

  She looks at me thoughtfully for a moment, then opens her mouth to speak. “I think—”

  “Are you the family of Randall Valentine?” a doctor says entering the room.

  Sunnie and I stand. “Yes, we’re his daughters.”

  “I’m so sorry. We tried everything to resuscitate him, but with his history of cocaine use…his heart just wasn’t strong enough.”

  Buzz.

  Clack.

  Tick.

  The whole world goes black.

  Cash

  “THIS CHART SHOWS POTENTIAL GROWTH over a five-year span,” Logan says pointing to his monitor. “And this…” He clicks the arrow over, but nothing happens. “Shit,” he says as he double, then triple taps the mouse.

  “You’re going to have to restart it,” I tell him, pinching the bridge of my nose. My patience has been shit lately. Summertime in Brighton brings out the idiots and tourists. The other day, it took me a full hour to get home because of the traffic, then once I got there, all I could think of were my girls, and I jumped back in the car and booked a room for the night.

  I told myself I would go to a bar, get hammered, and try to forget about Cherry. Maybe shag someone more age appropriate, but I couldn’t even leave the fucking hotel room. I miss her, although the word feels inadequate. She was an angel living and breathing the same air as monsters. My heart belongs to her. It resides in her palms, and she doesn’t even know it. I miss her, like a phantom limb. I reach for her warm body in the night, only to be disappointed by her absence.

  “I know,” Logan grunts, oblivious to my existential breakdown.

  I straighten my tie and stare at the now black screen. “You do know this is a million-dollar company. You can afford to hire a decent fucking IT person.”

  “We have IT.”

  “We have a glorified Nerd Herd who take an hour to get here. It doesn’t count as IT,” I grunt.

  Logan leans back in his chair and eyes me like he’s going to make a comment that will undoubtedly piss me off. Lucky for him, his assistant peeks her head in the door of the conference room.

  “Mr. Gregory, Emma’s here. She says it’s urgent.”

  Logan’s eyes flash with worry. He stands, and as she enters, the tension in the air thickens. He eyes her as she approaches with a possessive ownership I’m all too familiar with. “Is Chelsea okay?”

  “Yeah.” Emma nods. “I called your mom and asked her if she could come over for a bit.”

  “Why?” Logan pulls her into his arms and he inspects every inch of her body. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” she breathes. I can hear the pain in her voice. I’m just about to stand and give them their privacy when she turns her big round eyes towards me. “I…I’m not sure if she’d want me to tell you this, but Cherry…”

  I move so quickly, the chair behind me skids. “What’s wrong? What happened? Is she hurt?” My mind automatically fears the worst. My Cherry Girl takes self-destructive, rolls it in Adderall, and chases it with whiskey. I thought she was in a better place, per Logan, who received his reports from Emma. He had been giving me the play-by-play, but it had become too painful to hear about her living her life while I was merely existing, so I told him not to bring her up anymore.

  “She’s…in Fairmont. Her dad.”

  My heart calms considerably. “Randall is a tough bastard. Whatever it is this time, he’ll pull through.”

  “That’s just it.” Emma shakes her head. “He didn’t…not this time.” A fat tear rolls down her cheek as I process her words. Not this time.

  I swallow back the thick emotion. “He’s…”

  Emma nods solemnly. “I thought you’d like to know so you can be there for her. I think she needs you. You know how she gets. You’re like the only one who can get through to her right now.”

  I exhale. Then I exhale again. I lost my father a few years back and I’ve never quite healed from the pain. I can only imagine what she must be dealing with. Turning to Logan, I mumble out words that I hope sound a lot like, “I gotta go.”

  He clasps one hand on my shoulder. “Take all the time you need.”

  I make the drive to the hotel in record time. I hadn’t bothered to unpack, so I grab my toothbrush from the sink and shove it in my bag on the way out the door. My mind races a million miles a minute, and I drive to the edge of town. Arden should know, and thanks to me hooking her up with a volunteer opportunity with Jax, Logan’s brother, I know exactly where to find her.

  The shadow the church casts looms. I park my car and push through the side entrance of the food pantry. A row of people are lined up against the far wall, waiting for their turn at admission. I spot Jax coming down the stairs carrying an industrial-size bag of Styrofoam plates. “Hey.” He eyes me suspiciously. He’s invited me to come to his parish at least once a week since I moved here, and I’ve always made an excuse as to why I couldn’t come. “I’m surprised to see you here. Are you looking to volunteer?”

  “No, I’m actually…” I begin, but Arden bounds down the steps a beat later carrying a second bag of plates. Her cheeks are flushed and her eyes widen when they land on me.

  “What are you doing here?” she asks coming to a stop next to Jax.

  “Maybe this conversation can wait until after these people have eaten?” he suggests, angling himself between us.

  “I need to speak to my daughter, now,” I all but growl. “And I will not wait.” It isn’t Jax…Father Gregory’s fault Randy passed away, but I don’t have time for his pious bullshit. My girl is hurting and the longer we stand here exchanging pleasantries, the longer she has to deal with this shit alone.

  “I can tell something’s wrong,” he says in a low voice. “But this will be the last time you barge into my church and harass my…volunteers.” He’s wearing his collar, but I remember the kid from New York who’d spend his evening brawling alongside me in bars. He’s changed a lot since then, but I can tell that man is just below the surface.

  He turns to Arden, a look exchanges between the two of them, and she pouts. “Fine,” she says handing him the other bag of plates. I don’t have time to process the odd exchange. I lead her back outside to avoid the stares we are starting to attract. “What is this about?”

  “Cherry.”

  “Save it.” She holds up her hand. “I don’t care about you or her.”

  “Yes, you do. Maybe not me, but you love her. She hurt you, I get it, but she needs us now.”

  Annoyance flares in her eyes, and she balls her hands into fists at her sides. “And that’s all you care about right, what she
needs?”

  “I love her, I’m not going to apologize for that anymore, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t love you. That I haven’t enjoyed the little time we had. That I haven’t enjoyed getting to see glimpses of your heart.”

  Her bottom lip wobbles. “Well, you kind of ruined that.”

  I reach out to touch her, but she steps back. I clear my throat, knowing my next words will shatter some of the ice around her heart, but hating that I have to be the one that delivers them. “Randy passed away this morning. I’m going to Fairmont. I thought you’d like to come. To be there for her.”

  “He isn’t dead,” she whispers, shock, hurt, and disbelief flash across her face as she processes my words. “I’ve prayed for him every night. God doesn’t take away good people. He can’t take Randy away.” Her voice gives out and she buries her face in her hands.

  “I’m so sorry,” I murmur, wrapping her into my arms. Her entire body shakes as she sobs uncontrollably. “I know, baby.” I inhale her scent, and though my heart breaks for my girl, I’m filled with hope. Hope that maybe there’s enough love between us to guide us out of this darkness.

  Cherry

  “I wonder how long it will smell like him?” Sunnie asks inhaling his pillow. We left the hospital an hour ago. It’s odd coming home without Dad. I’d half expected him to be working in the garage or on the couch drinking a beer when we got here. The tears fell when I realized I’d never find him here again, at least not physically. I meandered around for a bit, pretending to make arrangements, then I realized I didn’t have a clue what the fuck I was doing. Normally, I’d call Dad and he’d walk me through it. That thought made me cry even harder. He was my person, the one I turned to when the going got tough, even when he was the one who caused the pain, I clung to him, because he’s my dad and he always made it better.

  “A few days.” I exhale, rolling onto my side. We lie in his bed facing each other. I wandered up here after I broke down in tears for the fourth time, only to find that my sister had already beaten me to it. “There’s probably some of his Old Spice in the bathroom,” I giggle.

  “God,” Sunnie groans, “he loved that shit. He’d spray it on every morning because—”

  “You never know who you might run into,” we finish in unison.

  His room is the same as it’s been for as long as I can remember. He’d taken down every trace of our mother after she left. For some, it may have been sad, the bare beige walls and half-empty closet, but I didn’t see it that way. It was clean, new. Our mother collected things to fill the void in her chest where her heart should have been. Dad got rid of all that material bullshit. The things didn’t matter. We, our family, what was left of it, is what mattered.

  “I can’t believe he’s gone,” I whisper.

  “Should we tell her?” Sunnie asks, worrying her bottom lip. Maybe it’s because she’s older, because she knew her longer, but for whatever reason, my sister still seeks our mother out, although she’s shown her true self ten times over.

  “Do you think she’d care?”

  Sunnie’s lip quivers and tears well in her eyes as she shakes her head. “I wish she would though.”

  “I know you do,” I say, rubbing her arm.

  For the first time in our life, I feel protective over my sister. Sunnie, for all her faux worldliness, deep down, is a scared and naive girl, and without our dad, I’m the only family she has left. The realization hits me hard. I don’t know if I fully trust her, but I know she’s trying, and I guess I know what it’s like to want a second chance even if I don’t deserve one.

  A knock at the door startles us. “Must be the pizza,” Sunnie guesses. It was one of the things I’d done while I was trying to keep my brain preoccupied. Daddy would insist we eat something, and the only thing I know how to make are double chocolate chip cookies.

  I roll to my feet. “I’ll get it.”

  “Cherry,” Sunnie calls from her spot on the bed.

  “Yeah,” I say without bothering to turn around.

  “I love you, all the way to the moon.”

  “And all the way back down to earth,” I finish.

  My dad used to tell us that every night when we were younger. Now, I guess it’s up to us to keep the tradition alive. I swipe away an errant tear and bound down the stairs two at a time, swinging the door open without bothering to glance through the peephole.

  “Wha…” I choke out as I look from Cash to Arden and back again. “What are you doing here?”

  Arden’s face crumbles and she steps inside. “We heard about Randy,” she sobs, wrapping me into the tightest hug. Dad gave good hugs. The thought, coupled with her warm embrace, is enough to crumble the brave face I’d worn for my sister.

  “He’s gone,” I cry into her neck. I cry because I never really knew my mother and for the years I’d spent estranged from my sister. For the lies I’ve told and the lives those lies affected. Time stops and I cry and cry and cry.

  “I know,” Arden coos, brushing stray hairs from my tear-stained cheeks. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t here.”

  Shaking my head, I tell her, “It’s okay. I understand. I fucked up.”

  “But we are sisters,” she says, cupping my cheeks. “We’re family. You don’t give up on family.”

  “I’m sorry.” My eyes find hers, and I sear my apology into this moment. Words are useless without actions, so I don’t give her empty promises, and she doesn’t ask for them.

  “I know.”

  “I love him,” I add, my eyes trailing over her shoulder to Cash. “I didn’t mean to fall in love with him. It just happened.”

  “I know that too.” She sighs and untangles her limbs from mine. “I won’t tell you that everything can go back to the way it was, because it can’t. But I want to try. I miss you, and he’s my dad, and although it’s fucking weird.” We giggle, sadly. “But he makes you happy. He makes you whole, and you need that, maybe now more than ever.”

  “I need you too,” I remind her, nudging her with my shoulder. Arden has been my rock for the last two years, these last two months without her have been torture.

  “You’ve got me.” She looks over her shoulder at Cash. “I think you’ve got me for life.”

  Cash speaks then. The first words I’ve heard him utter in months. “God, I hope so,” he says in a deep and rich tone that I inhale like air. I let it fill me to the brim with hope on this hopeless day. I lost my father, my anchor. A shudder runs through me violently. I’ve spent the day trying to be strong for Sunnie, trying to fill the void Randall Valentine left on this earth, but four words from Cash and I don’t want to be strong anymore. I don’t have to, he’s strong enough for the both of us.

  My knees wobble and gravity pulls me down. I wait for the impact, but it never comes. Warmth and leather and amber surround me. It’s a scent I’d know even on the darkest of nights. “I’ve got you, Cherry Girl, and I swear to God, I’ll never let you fall again.”

  Cherry

  One Year Later.

  “SO, TELL ME WHAT’S BEEN going on since we last met?” my therapist asks as I settle onto the couch. I stare at the large tree just outside the window. A velvet ash. I Googled the name of it after my first session. Not because it’s beautiful. It kind of reminds me of the kind you see in strip malls—economical, easy to grow, and even easier to maintain. Maybe that’s why it reminds me of my dad. It’s imperfect, like he was, but despite the imperfection, it still stands tall.

  “It’s been a year,” I mutter.

  I started seeing Jenny, my therapist, shortly after the funeral. Cash was worried I’d fall back into old habits to cope. If I’m being honest, I had. I lied about it, of course. I only drink socially, no hard drugs. After what happened to my father, do you really think I’d ever snort coke again? He saw through it, though. He knows me in a way that scares me a little and thrills me a lot.

  “How have you handled the anniversary?” Jenny tosses her red hair over her right shoulder and shoots a don’
t bullshit me gaze my way.

  “It’s been hard,” I admit, drumming my fingers on the arm of the leather sofa. “Especially since we sold the house. He’s gone, and now it’s gone.”

  “I didn’t know you were selling.”

  I shrug. “Sunnie couldn’t afford to maintain it by herself, and there’s nothing keeping her in Fairmont anyway.”

  “She’s going back to LA?”

  “No.” I swallow. “She’s coming here.” If she’d asked me that a year ago, I would have probably gone full-on mad queen and burned the entire city to the ground, but now, I’m not so sure. Sunnie and I will always be opposites. And despite our childhood efforts to destroy each other, we will always be sisters.

  “How does that make you feel?” Jenny asks.

  “Nervous, excited…” I pause, mulling over the next one. It’s been a long road with my sister. We’ve gone from friends to rivals, to pretending the other didn’t exist. I’m not sure what we are now, but I know that I love her…all the way to the moon and back again. “Happy,” I decide at last.

  “Happy?” Jenny lifts her brow. “I’ve only ever heard you use that word in context to Cash.”

  I smile at the mention of his name. My heart doesn’t tick anymore, it sings four letters. C.A.S.H. “A girl can’t live on dick alone. I don’t always like her,” I admit, “but I do love her. Moving to Brighton changed my life for the better. Who knows? Maybe some of its magic will rub off on her?”

  If my crudeness shocks, she doesn’t let it show, though she’s probably used to it by now. “How’s school?”

  “It’s school.”

  “Fair.” Jenny nods. “And the internship?”

  “Also, good.” I bite back a smile.

  Logan offered me a part-time position working at INVIGOR. Cash said it’s because he’s too cheap to hire a real IT person, although something tells me he had something to do with it. Just like the same something (me hacking into his email) told me he was the anonymous investor that brought back the Women in STEM scholarship. The job sure beats a shift at the steakhouse, and between making copies and running errands, I get to fix computers, and sneak into my boyfriend’s office and suck his dick while he makes phone calls. Best part, I get paid to do it.