Hilariously Ever After

by Penny Reid

  The two of them stake out the bedroom on the very end of the south wing. We order in wine and soda and gourmet pizzas. They stay exactly ten minutes. It’s hard to compete with the promise of two guys from One Direction.

  Vicky and I drink wine and talk about everything—even a little business. She wants to make sure we got the software Mandy requested. She changed her mind about it soon after I started taking her on facility tours. I tell her it’s in place.

  Now and then the girls come through with reports that they heard music, and they carry on detailed analyses of whether it was recorded music or if it was the guys in jamming mode.

  And as Vicky and I are fucking that night on the edge of the hot tub on the top veranda, and again as we have slow, lazy sex the next morning, I think to write One Direction a fan letter just for how completely they keep Bess and Carly glued to the other side of the mansion.

  “You take good care of her,” I say that afternoon. Vicky and I sit on the porch overlooking the expanse of lawn, which ends in a pool, a cluster of cabanas, and the beach, edged in sea grass, deep blue-green water beyond.

  Perched under an umbrella at the edge of the actual beach, Bess and Carly are in full teen girl splendor mode, running lines and staking out the neighbors, and Smuckers is a streak of white, running all around the lawn. The umbrellas are Locke blue, a fact that Vicky makes fun of.

  “We’re all each other has,” she says simply.

  I try to get more about her earlier life, but she’s vague, and eventually I find the conversation has circled around to her desire to know why I wear dark suits in the city and beige linen suits in the Hamptons.

  Does she just hate to think about that time? I won’t push her. I pushed her enough. And we’re supposed to be away from it all.

  The four of us walk along the beach for Saturday sunset, a ritual from when I have business visitors, who tend to enjoy the backyard view of the mansions, the lifestyles of the rich and famous, though they rarely admit it. Carly and Bess are no different, but they do admit it, pointing out different displays of excess. Vicky seems unimpressed, if not slightly hostile toward displays of wealth.

  Between houses, the girls run ahead with Smuckers, kicking around in the surf.

  “Back in your town, remember how you told me about being bullied?” I say.

  Vicky gives me a blank look. “Sure.”

  “Was it somebody wealthy?”

  Her brow furrows. “Why would you think that?”

  “Just wondering. You’re not impressed like a lot of people are. And, well, you did call me a rich, entitled jackass at one point.”

  She takes my hand. “You know I don’t think that.”

  I keep my eyes on the horizon, feeling her gaze on my face. I wonder if that’s why my mother chose her. I hate the question I’m about to ask, but it’s been burning in me. “Did my mother seem…happy in those last years?”

  She squeezes my hand. “Henry—”

  “I just…didn’t know her the last few years. I missed her.” I never say that aloud.

  “She seemed happy…in her way.”

  I nod.

  “I wasn’t sure how much you wanted to know about her. But, yes. She had her routines and Smuckers. She’d terrorize people in the neighborhood, like when they wanted to pet him, she’d act angry. That was kind of her jam.”

  I smile. It’s a bittersweet feeling, more sweet than bitter now.

  “She was such a character,” I say. “I always imagined I could repair things. That somehow I’d break through and we’d have a heart-to-heart.”

  “I’m sorry,” she says.

  I make her tell me all the stories she can remember. We stand in the wet, sucking sand together, the ocean swashing around our ankles, watching Carly and Bess swim, and Vicky tells me little anecdotes. One after another.

  We laugh about it. It feels good. No—it feels utterly amazing.

  “I’m glad she had you around,” I say.

  She kisses me on the shoulder. “I’m glad I could be.”

  “Why do you think my mother chose you?”

  “I don’t know,” she says.

  “Maybe it’s silly to keep wondering about it, but I do. Do you think my mother chose you because she sensed you have an allergy to guys like me? Did you two talk about that sort of thing?”

  “Hmm.”

  “I know she ostensibly chose you on the basis of your being a dog whisperer, but she could’ve done a lot of messed-up things with that will. Yet she chose you.”

  “I really think it was about the dog,” she says. “She loved that dog. Even the last words she said to me…” She stops, clearly regretting going down this road.

  “It’s okay, you can tell me,” I say. “Please. Tell me. They were the last words she said. I want to know.”

  “Well, they were about the dog. Clutching at him, and she goes, I love you, Pokey.”

  My heart stutters. “What did you say?”

  “I love you, Pokey. I don't know why she called Smuckers that, you know, there at the end. I never heard her call him that, but it had to be Smuckers she was talking to. Smuckers is a little pokey, you have to admit.”

  I swallow past the lump in my throat.

  “What is it?” she asks, looking up into my eyes.

  “Thank you,” I say.

  “For what?”

  I pull her to me, dizzy with the whooshing ocean and this beautiful woman and my bittersweet heart. “Just…all of it.”

  That night, Brett begins his texting assault. He has juicy information from the PI to share. I tell him I’m not interested—the last thing I want to do is to shatter the trust between us. Vicky will tell me things when she’s ready.

  Brett won’t let up. Eventually I just block his ass. He’ll be pissed, but I want this time away. My assistant will let me know if there’s a corporate situation to deal with.

  The competency hearing is scheduled, of course. But I’ve decided to call it off.

  She’s assured me things will be made right. I trust her to do the right thing. I trust us to figure out a way forward together. And whatever Vicky’s hesitation is about us being together, I’ll overcome it.

  I’ll call off the hearing when the mediators are back in the office on Tuesday, and then I’ll tell her.

  There’s a fireworks show on Monday night. Carly and Bess go up to catch it at Cooper’s Beach. I’ve arranged a candlelight dinner on the veranda.

  Vicky is stretched out on the bench seat next to me, leaning back against me, feet splayed out to the side. She has on a pink skirt and gold sandals that look good with her yellow blouse. She’s been wearing brighter colors, but this is really different, the result of shopping in town with the girls. She looks good in colors. It seems right for her. The jewelry she makes is colorful. Why not her clothes?

  A boom sounds from up above, followed by some smaller ones. “I'm glad the fireworks are going off behind us,” I say. “Because if they were right out there over the water? I’d have to arrest myself for multiple cliché violations.”

  “The foam on the waves is just as bright. It looks almost neon,” she says, staring out at the water in the moonlight.

  “It’s the phosphorescence.” I toss a piece of steak to Smuckers.

  She pulls on my lapels like she does when she wants me to come close and kiss her. “Come here.”

  Chapter 28

  Vicky

  We arrive back late. Exhausted. Henry sleeps at my place, because I don’t want to leave Carly.

  I feel sheepish about the state of it, but at least it’s clean. He seems to like it just fine. And who cares?

  This thing is over, anyway. It’s what I keep telling myself.

  His birthday is on Friday. I need to be out of his life before then—that’s the promise I’ve made to myself. And if he’s sad, well, he’ll get the papers to restore his company.

  It’s the right thing to do for Carly.

  And it’s the only way to keep Vonda’s t
oxic PR from bringing him down. And the people of Locke who depend on him. It’s the right thing for Vonda.

  There’s a board meeting scheduled for the morning—it’s unclear who called it—Henry thinks Kaleb called it, because the agenda is about the timeline for the Ten, and maybe hiring an extra outside team to expedite the redesign, and there’s something about utilities. Because buildings are apparently more complicated than just building a thing—you have to figure out how it hooks up to everything else.

  We drop Carly at school and head to the office in the back of a limo with Smuckers in a flowered carrier on the seat beside us.

  Henry pulls me onto his lap. “Have I told you how hot you are recently?”

  I kiss his lower lip, then his upper lip. They’re little suck-kisses, a technique I pioneered over the sex marathon that was Labor Day weekend. I kiss him again.

  “It’s been so long since I was just happy. Stupidly happy,” I say. I pull back to find him watching me with his very serious Henry face, cobalt-blue eyes dark and serious. “Thank you.”

  “Does it make you a little sad?” he asks.

  Like a wine connoisseur, he hears every note in my voice.

  “Did I sound sad?” I tilt my head, like I have no idea why that could be.

  “I’m happy, too,” he says softly. “But nothing about my happiness feels stupid.”

  Something twists in my belly, spikes of joy and grief, sharp but good.

  I’ll always have this feeling to remember, I tell myself.

  The car drops us at the front of Locke headquarters under the Locke-blue flags emblazoned with the Cock Worldwide logo.

  We link hands and go in through one of the array of highly redundant doors—the double ones this time, held by a doorman. We cross the enchanted five-story-tall lobby dominated by the giant jagged rock with shimmery water cascading down it.

  I’m wearing bright colors again—an orange flowered top with blue pants and sparkly heels, more spoils from one of the high-fashion pop-up shops in the Hamptons that Carly and Bess and I hit.

  But the clothes weren’t entirely their idea—I realized that, looking in the mirror this morning. The bright colors and sparkles are Vonda’s style. It feels good, like I’ve busted out of some sort of shell. Or maybe like I’m home.

  I’ll always have that, too.

  Henry cages me in his arms against the elevator wall as we ride up. The elevator has become one of my favorite kissing places, a stolen window of privacy.

  And for just this moment, things feel like a fairy tale.

  Henry growls when we reach the top floor. He’s in a brown suit and a maroon tie with tiny black owls on it. Carly and Bess bought it for him as a thank-you gift. I knotted it for him this morning.

  He grabs Smuckers’s flowered carrier.

  “You don’t have to—”

  “If you think I’m not man enough to carry a flowered dog carrier that looks like a purse, you haven’t been paying attention, baby.”

  I snort and poke him in the side.

  We get out and cross the expanse of corporate grandeur. People have already assembled in the glass boardroom chamber. I hate to be out of our magical private bubble, but I love seeing him back in his habitat, back in the place he so loves.

  Smuckers rides happily in his flowered purse, the picture of dog cuteness in his Locke-blue sequined dog bow tie.

  Henry grabs the handle of the glass door and holds it open for me, gazing down at me. The air between us crackles.

  I practically glide in. I turn to say hi to the other board members.

  And the world screeches to a halt.

  He’s beefier than I remember, with a thicker neck than back in Deerville.

  I tell myself it can’t be him. It can’t.

  But the blond hair is the same, and then he smiles that smug smile.

  My hands go numb. An icy clawing steals up my back, up my neck. Saliva fills my mouth, like I’m really and truly going to puke.

  It’s my body, reacting to what my mind can’t comprehend.

  “Henry, Vicky.” Brett stands, smiling like the cat that swallowed the flock of canaries. “I want you to meet our new leadership consultant, Denny Woodruff.”

  The room seems to tilt, or maybe that’s my world, tipping on its axis with everything sliding off.

  How is it possible?

  “Leadership consultant?” Henry bites out, confused.

  I’m not confused—not when I meet Brett’s eyes. He knows exactly who Denny is. He knows exactly who I am. Vonda.

  “Denny’ll be working closely with us on board leadership and cohesiveness issues,” Brett announces in a friendly, casual way that’s everything fake. “I think this will be especially helpful to you, Vicky. To get you integrated, to get us working in tandem instead of at odds. You’ll be working very closely with Denny. Every board meeting, Denny will be right there, helping you integrate productively.”

  My mouth goes dry.

  “What is this?” Henry says. “Vicky doesn’t need leadership consulting.” He looks between me and Brett. “What’s going on?” He sets Smuckers’s carrying purse on the table.

  “Kaleb and I agree this could really be good for the board,” Brett says. “We made the move. It’s within our rights to add a board consultant. We don’t need a majority for that, just twenty-five percent. His salary is a matter of operations budget…” He’s rattling off company jargon, bylaws jargon.

  Denny’s up and out of his chair, meanwhile.

  My mouth goes dry as he nears; I feel too frightened even to move.

  He goes around to Henry first. He takes his hand and pumps it up and down. “I’ve done a lot of work with the Percival Group. I went to Yale with Dale Runson, who I think you know.”

  Denny’s naming off names. I look over at April. She furrows her brows.

  “Okay.” Henry sounds annoyed.

  I’m a little bit behind him. He doesn’t see me backing away. He lets go and addresses Brett. “Let’s take five. I need a sidebar here with you and Kaleb.”

  “Denny’s a board consultant,” Brett says. “The point here is to include him, even in sidebars.” Brett looks at me. “You don’t have a problem with this, do you, Vicky? Part of being a competent board member is to work well with others. If you don’t think you can work with Denny…”

  Denny smiles. “Vicky! I’m excited for the opportunity to work with you. I feel like we accomplish a lot together.” He’s coming to me. I tell myself to stand firm, to not back up anymore, but I take a step back. Another.

  Denny has his hand out. “I promise you—”

  I back up, senses reeling. “Get away!” The words come out a whisper, like one of those dreams where you can’t seem to make your voice work.

  “I understand that they sprang it on you,” Denny says, stopping in front of me, way too close. “But before long, it’ll be old home week, I promise.” He grabs my hand, making me touch him, making me shake it. I yank it, but he won’t let go.

  In a flash, a vicious hand clamps Denny’s arm. Denny’s head rocks forward as Henry yanks him backward, throws him up against the glass wall.

  There’s shock in Denny’s eyes in the moment before Henry drives a fist into his face.

  Denny staggers sideways. Smuckers barks madly. There’s a crack in the glass like a lopsided star.

  Henry turns to me. “You okay?”

  “No!” I’m backing away, away from it all. Henry comes to me but I fling up a hand. I don’t know what stops him in his tracks—the wild motion or maybe the look on my face.

  I grab my purse and burst out the door, run across to the elevators. Henry calls to me, but I’m stab-stab-stabbing the button. I have to be away from them—all of them.

  Henry’s flying toward me just as the doors open. I get in and stab stab stab the doors shut—who says that doesn’t work? I ride down to the lobby, alone. The ride seems to take forever; the air inside the little box is way too bright.

  It seems li
ke forever before I’m out on the street, out in the too-dreary, too-crowded morning that seemed so promising not fifteen minutes ago. I push upstream against the workers and tourists, edge through a line at a bagel breakfast sandwich truck and head around a corner, weaving through the crowd, heading toward the water.

  Smuckers is still back there. Shit.

  I duck into a dark doorway and text April to ask her to see to Smuckers. I don’t know what to do or what to tell her. She’ll figure it out.

  I’m in some kind of a service doorway, a skinny stairway with an unmarked black door at the back of me.

  To my right is a brick wall, the soot of a century making the red of the bricks nearly black in places.

  To my left is an ornate wall, thick with a hundred coats of paint. Soaring just above that is a bistro window. People up there are cozy with coffee and pastries and papers. If I stood up, I’d be level with their shoes.

  But I’m down here. Vonda.

  I try to think what to do, glad they can’t see me. Glad nobody can see me. I make myself small, wanting the world to just go away.

  They know.

  By now Henry knows. Brett probably followed him and told him.

  I hug my knees, chin on my right kneecap. Denny’ll blab. People will find out now. I try to think of some way to stay Vicky, to stay in the city, but the danger of Mom taking Carly back is too much. God, she’d find a way to extort the entire company, using Carly as leverage. And all the publicity.

  Legs block my view of the street. Slacks. “Vicky.”

  My blood races.

  “Leave me,” I say.

  “Not likely.” He sits on the stoop next to me. “What happened?”

  “You don’t know?” I don’t give him a chance to answer. “I just want to be alone.”

  “Can I be alone with you?”

  I want to cry, because it’s so Henry to say that.

  “You know.”

  “Know what?”

  “They didn’t fill you in?”

  “Baby, I just ran halfway down a skyscraper stairwell until I could get an elevator and then down two crowded blocks, pissing off about five dozen bumbling pedestrians trying to find you. I’ve been a little busy.”