Hilariously Ever After

by Penny Reid

  We go back to Luke's with bags of stuff, and looking at the size of his car, it's a good thing he's had a tree delivered. I don't think the engineers at Mercedes had Christmas trees in mind when they built the S63.

  Unpacking the bags is even more fun. We carry all the bags into the kitchen and start unloading, but I keep finding things that aren't ornaments.

  "You bought red and white striped elf socks?" I ask, holding them up, confused. They're knee-highs.

  "Not for me," he replies. "You like funny socks. And pumpkin. You like pumpkin." He pulls a tube of pumpkin spice lip balm out of a bag. He hands it to me and I put it on then tilt my neck back and raise up on my tiptoes to kiss him. Things escalate pretty quickly after that.

  My sweater is off before I even realize what is happening. He tosses it on the granite island and then unzips my jeans and yanks both my jeans and panties to mid-thigh before picking me up and sitting my naked ass on the edge of the island countertop.

  He slides my bottoms off the rest of the way until they land in a puddle on the floor that he kicks aside before lowering his own pants only enough to pull out his cock. He strokes the length of himself several times while I watch, itching to reach forward and do that for him. He spreads my legs apart and steps between them, hooking my right thigh in the crook of his left elbow, his right hand still stroking himself. He's staring at the slit between my legs, spreading my lips open with his fingers.

  My heart is racing and my breathing hitches. I can feel the heat and pressure building and moisture begins to slick my passage. He steps in closer, my thighs spread obscenely wide, my bare bottom on the edge of the counter. I lean back on my hands and watch as Luke places the head of his penis against me. I suck in a breath, not sure I'm wet enough for him just yet. He's so big and he's always had me dripping for him before entering me.

  My apprehension is for naught as he doesn't enter me, but instead starts slapping my open pussy with his cock.

  "Oh, God." The sight is too much combined with all the blood pumping through me. Every nerve ending is alive with want. I bite my lip and drop to my elbows, looking at the ceiling.

  "No." Luke's voice startles me and I move my gaze to his. "You'll watch."

  I blink at him and murmur an agreement before he clarifies, "Eyes here, Sophie," indicating where our bodies are connected. His penis is sliding up and down along my spread lips as he coats himself in my wetness.

  I can only nod as I pick my elbows off the counter and return to resting my upper body on my hands, the angle perfect for watching. With my full attention where he wants it, Luke grabs himself and guides the head of his penis to my wet, waiting opening. He sticks the tip in, bare, nothing between us. I feel his gaze move from where he's resting just inside of me to my face. I look up and nod before returning my attention to his cock, sliding inside of me one slow inch at a time.

  He slides most of the way out then slams back inside of me and I whimper. Not from pain, but from pure pleasure, watching increasing my hedonistic enjoyment. He slips his right arm under my left knee so now I'm splayed open with both legs dangling over his arms, bouncing as he thrusts into me.

  It's so good. So, so good. I want to drop my head back in defeat to the pleasure but Luke is insistent, reminding me every time I look away. He's alternating between watching us and watching me.

  "I love those noises you make. I think I could come from nothing more than the sound of your voice when I'm fucking you," Luke says above the slapping of our skin and the incoherent noises I'm indeed making. "When you get close you start chanting my name. 'Luke, Luke, Luke.' I almost blow my load early every time, listening to you, knowing you're close. Knowing I did that to you."

  "You do, Luke." I'm breathless and so ready. "You always do."

  "I'm going to come inside of you, Sophie." He thrusts, yanking my thigh up, changing the angle slightly. "I'm going to come in you so hard my come will be leaking out of you for the rest of the day."

  Listening to him describe it while pistoning in and out of my body pushes me over the edge and I come, my orgasm so intense it hurts when he thrusts back in. He stills then for a moment, buried in me balls deep, before I feel him twitch as he moans his own release. It does feel different, warmer, wetter. It feels so intimate. I mean, sex is always intimate, but this is different. It feels like a compliment, if bodily fluids can be described that way.

  He leans forward until our lips touch and then I wrap my arms around his neck, pulling him closer while we kiss. He pulls away as he slides out of me. He's still got both of my legs spread open, hooked over his elbows, and he makes no move to drop them, instead focusing on watching his come leak out of me.

  "Fuck, that is hot."

  I'd be embarrassed, but he is so into it that it just turns me on more. He finally releases one of my legs only to stick two fingers into me, coating them with his release and then moving them to my clit.

  "No, no, I can't," I protest. He can't possibly think he's going to make me come again. I'm still pulsating from the last one.

  "You can." He drops my other leg now to unsnap my bra and he bends, taking a nipple in his mouth as he works me with his fingers below. Of course he proves himself right, working another orgasm out of me before we're through.

  "Luke, you bought Elf on the Shelf?" I ask, holding up the box. I'm still sitting on the countertop. Luke just cleaned me up with a paper towel while I about died of embarrassment. It's a lot messier without a condom. I tried to take the paper towel from him and do it myself but he wouldn't allow it.

  "I found it by the DVD's," he replies, as if this explains everything. "It's an elf."

  This isn't a tradition I did with my grandparents and I can't imagine Luke did either. "I think this is for little kids," I say, reviewing the box.

  Luke shrugs and pulls a menu out of the drawer. "Do you want to order in or go down to Serafina?"

  "No!" I blurt out. "Not Serafina."

  He looks confused. "You don't like Serafina?"

  "I love Serafina," I say, then realize I've painted myself in a corner. I don't want to admit I'm feeling weird about Luke always taking me out to eat at a restaurant that's conveniently located in his lobby. I'm behaving like a brat. We just went to Target in public, it's not like he's hiding me.

  He looks at me like I'm going to elaborate. When I don't, he puts the menu away and picks my panties up off the floor and slides them up to mid-thigh, then repeats the motions with my jeans before lifting me off the counter and sliding them the remaining way up. He even zips and buttons me back into my jeans and I gotta admit, watching his huge hands dress me makes me want to rip everything off all over again.

  "What’s your favorite Italian restaurant, Sophie?" he asks as he holds my sweater up for me to put my arms through.

  "Lombardi's," I reply automatically.

  "Okay," he says and slides his keys off the counter. "We'll go to Lombardi's."

  "Luke! Lombardi's is forty-five minutes away in Horsham. And it's not your scene, it's very casual." I feel like such an ass. "Serafina's is fine. Let's just eat downstairs."

  He pulls me closer. "You don't think I'm casual?"

  "Luke, please," I laugh. "You're the least casual person I know."

  "Hmm, maybe," he murmurs into my hair. "I don't feel casual about you," he says, kissing the top of my head. "So maybe serious isn't all bad."

  What is this guy doing to me?

  Chapter 22

  "He bought you an Elf on the Shelf?" Everly is staring at me like I've just announced we had a three-way with an elf.

  "Yeah. Neither of us really knew what it was, but we looked it up and now he texts me pictures of the elf every morning," I say with a big stupid grin on my face.

  "Pictures of the elf on his dick?" Everly asks hopefully.

  "No! Pictures of the elf doing funny stuff around his house." Everly is speechless. "Never mind." I wave a hand.

  "Holy shit. He's in love with you."

  "No." I shake my head. "
No, we're just having fun."

  It's a week after Thanksgiving and the first I've seen Everly since before the holiday. We were slammed with customers this morning and now it's finally slowed down enough to catch up.

  "Wait. Would that be a bad thing? If he loved me?" I ask. She seems kind of appalled.

  Everly softens. "Well, no, it's not bad. It's just you're so young."

  "I'm the same age as you," I point out.

  "No, I know." Everly is treading lightly now, which is odd for Everly. "You just don't have a lot of experience with men," she says. "Are you ready to commit to something serious?"

  "I don't know," I reply as I examine the ends of my hair. "This conversation is silly. We've been together less than two months."

  "Do you think this conversation will be easier in a month when you're so far gone in love with him there's no turning back? Will you be happy being with a man who has to run off to the hospital at all hours of the day and night?"

  "His hours aren't that bad, really. Most of his practice is scheduled appointments. Unless he's on call at the hospital."

  "Yeah, most of his practice involves him looking at other women's pussies. Right now you're the hottest pussy he sees, but how will you feel when you're forty and you know he's seeing twenty-year-old pussy at work?"

  "Everly, eww." Of course, now I'm thinking about it.

  "And his family is awful," Everly continues. "Think about all that before you tell me you're just having fun."

  "He sounds like such a catch when you phrase it that way," I reply sarcastically.

  "You're the catch, Sophie. Don't sell yourself short."

  "I'm the child of a teenage mother and I don’t even know who my father is."

  "Your mother has nothing to do with you, Sophie. You made yourself who you are, not her. You're a smart, beautiful girl who will be graduating soon with honors. You're the most caring, responsible person I know."

  "Okay, enough about me. Tell me about your weekend. Did you make any headway with Professor Camden?" I ask her as I pour myself a coffee.

  "I…" Everly starts to say, but then stops. Shaking her head, she says, "I don't know what is going on anymore, Sophie."

  "What do you mean?" It's so odd to see Everly anything less than confident. "You always know what's going on. You have a plan, remember? Six months till graduation, six months to make Finn Camden fall in love with you," I remind her.

  "I know!" She throws her hands up in the air. "I know, I know, but I'm so confused."

  "Is everything okay?" I'm concerned. Everly is off her game and that is rare.

  "Yeah." She nods, as if to reassure herself. Then she looks past me to the counter. "Your stalker is here again."

  I sigh. "Regular customers are not stalkers, Everly. We're a coffee shop. People come in, they get coffee." I walk past her to help the man waiting at the counter and place a big smile on my face, ready to help.

  “Sophie.” The man says my name and pauses, and that split second is all I need to realize that something is not quite right. Why is this man referring to me by name? I know it’s pinned to the front of my apron, but customers rarely use it.

  “Could you sit with me for a few minutes?” he asks, gesturing to the empty tables filling Grind Me.

  What the heck? I glance sideways at Everly. She’s wearing a smug told-you-so expression on her face.

  “Um,” I reply, unsure how to proceed. “I’m working, but thank you.” I give him my best professional smile.

  “I can wait until your break,” he offers. “Or meet you after?”

  Shit.

  I try again. “The thing is, I have a boyfriend. So I don’t think I can meet you after my shift.” I try my professional smile again. I hope I’m getting it right.

  The man smiles in response, but it’s not dejected, it’s amused. “I’m afraid I might be giving you the wrong impression. I wasn’t asking you out.”

  Oh.

  “Besides, I’m far too old for you.”

  “A little young for her, actually,” Everly mutters and the man shoots her a look.

  He pulls a wallet from the breast pocket of his coat and opens it, revealing a badge and an ID, which Everly promptly swipes out of his hand. “My name is Boyd Gallagher,” he says, still looking at me. He pauses, apparently expecting this to mean something to me.

  I shift from foot to foot behind the counter. Am I in some kind of trouble?

  “Feds aren’t really her fetish, but I know a girl at school who’d be so into you,” Everly pipes in, still reviewing the wallet in her hand.

  “Everly!” The stranger and I reply at the same time and it breaks the tension a little. I smile as the man retrieves his wallet from Everly's hand and places it back into his pocket.

  He sighs and runs a hand through his hair before moving his attention back to me. “Sophie, I’m your brother.”

  Chapter 23

  "So what did he want?" Luke asks me later that afternoon.

  "What did he want?" I repeat, slightly annoyed.

  "Yes, Sophie. What did he want?" Luke's voice is clipped. "You wait until today to mention that a man has been hanging out in your coffee shop for over a month watching you work, then today announces that he's your long-lost brother. Why? What does he want?"

  "I don't know," I say quietly. I'm lying down on my dorm bed staring at the ceiling and talking to Luke on the phone. "But I have a brother." I breathe into the phone for a moment before continuing. "You have Meredith, Luke. And Alexander and Bella. I've always wanted a sibling, or even a cousin. It would be nice to have someone else in the world besides my grandparents.”

  "How do you know he's telling you the truth, Sophie?" Luke says. I can hear the hospital buzzing in the background. I know he's busy but he insisted on talking to me after I texted him this bombshell.

  "We share the same father," I say, my voice wobbling. "His father”—I pause—“our father, was a US Congressman running for a Senate seat when he met my mother. He was twenty years older than her, and married to Boyd’s mother.” I’m humiliated recapping this to Luke.

  “Go on,” Luke encourages.

  “My birth certificate lists my father as unknown. My grandparents had no idea who he could have been and my mom refused to name him. She died before I was two, so I never had the chance to ask her myself. She volunteered for Congressman Gallagher’s Senate campaign the summer before her freshman year of college.”

  "Sophie, whatever your parents did twenty years ago has nothing to do with you and the person you are today."

  "I guess."

  "I know," he counters.

  "He had a picture."

  "What kind of picture?" Luke asks, with an edge to his voice. I can hear hospital alarms beeping in the background, but Luke doesn't rush me, just waits for my response.

  "It was a picture of our dad with my mom. It’s the night he was elected Senator, at the campaign headquarters. They’re in a room full of people and she’s looking at him like she worships him while he’s smiling for the camera.” I swallow and Luke is quiet, listening. "Boyd was ten when I was born. He doesn’t think his mom had any idea about the affair.”

  We're both quiet. Silence on my end of the phone, the buzz of the hospital on Luke's end.

  "I was born during my mom’s freshman year of college.” Straight A’s and she ended up transferring back to a local college. Because of me. “She died in a car accident sometime during her sophomore year of college.” I take a breath. “But until she died, she was receiving monthly payments from Senator Gallagher.”

  "Wow,” Luke says, his voice gentle. I know that voice. It's the I feel sorry for you voice. I've heard it my whole life. I hear a door close and it's suddenly quieter on Luke's end of the phone.

  “Boyd works for the government. Apparently I came up during a background check. He’d never heard a word about me until then.”

  "Sophie, I…" He trails off.

  He what? Feels sorry for me? Is appalled? Needs to cancel
all future plans with me?

  "I have to go, Sophie. I'll call you as soon as I can." The line goes dead.

  I can't process anything right now. I'm… no one. I have a half-brother.

  I already called my grandparents in Florida. They had no idea I had a sibling. I look at the silent phone in my hand and scroll through the contacts and make a call.

  A short time later I'm walking into Shay's, a bar I've never been to before, located off campus. It's early when I walk in, quiet. Boyd is sitting in a booth and waves me over as soon as he sees me.

  "Sophie," he says with a warm smile. He looks relieved to see me, like he was afraid I wasn't going to show up.

  "Hey," I reply and take a seat. We stare at each other, neither of us knowing what to say, so I say the only thing possible. “I need a drink.”

  Boyd grins and signals to the waitress. "Thanks for calling, Sophie. I wasn't sure you would."

  "I wasn’t sure I would either.”

  He shrugs and gives me a sad smile. "Yeah." We're quiet then.

  The waitress returns with our drinks and Boyd immediately orders shots for both of us. "You look like you need one," he says.

  "Yeah," I whisper. “Tell me about him.” Senator Gallagher died in his third term of office. I would have been about sixteen.

  Boyd fills me in on things about our father I wouldn’t be able to learn from the internet. He loved pineapple and hated chocolate. He made it a habit never to swear. He taught Boyd how to fish. I filled him in on my childhood with my grandparents. From what Boyd tells me he grew up very differently than I did. His upbringing sounds like what I imagined Luke’s to be. Very privileged and formal.

  The drinks keep arriving and I keep downing them, numbing my emotions. "I think I'm in love with Luke," I slur a short while later. "See?" I pull out my phone and find a picture of Luke and I, a selfie I took of us lying on his couch the weekend after Thanksgiving when we were watching Elf. I hold it up for Boyd to look at.