Eye of the Beholder

by M. D. Grimm

  Maybe he saw me as a new pet that entertained him. Or a new toy soon neglected when he grew bored. Because he would grow bored with me. It was inevitable.

  “You got no friends because you’re a rat!”

  I clenched my jaw.

  “You worthless piece of shit. If you died tomorrow, no one would even notice!”

  He was right. After I ran away, I would sometimes check and see if I was reported missing. Not that I expected my father to, but I had teachers, classmates. I had a few school buddies. But no one seemed to miss me. No one wanted me.

  No, that wasn’t entirely true. Dain had wanted me. Then he died. And it hurt. Too much, too deeply. I couldn’t handle that again. I couldn’t deal with caring again, with losing again. Being alone was safer, easier. Smarter.

  I cleared my throat when it tried to close and ignored the burning behind my eyes. I pushed away the memories of Cassius’s arms and the safety I found there. The tenderness and consideration. His intelligence, his laughter, his constant amusement at what life had to offer. Stories of his past. Ugh. Stop it.

  “What do you want, Cassius?” I whispered. “I don’t have anything to give you.”

  I took a deep breath, depressed and feeling about an inch tall.

  I don’t feel well tonight. Sorry. Have to cancel. Have a good time for both of us!

  It was hard to write that last bit, but I had to disengage from him, and I felt the best way to do that was cleanly and dispassionately. Make him understand I never saw us as anything but friendly acquaintances. I doubted he would object much. He’d find a new toy.

  His answer came back barely a minute later. That surprised me.

  :( I won’t have a good time without you. I confess: the club isn’t my scene… as the kids say today.

  I snorted. I could just hear his dry tone as I read. Before I could think to respond, another text came in.

  I’m sorry you don’t feel well. Anything I can do?

  My eyes widened. Why was he being so persistent? Was it an ingrained sense of politeness and manners or something? I hoped he didn’t call. I doubted I could manage to say no if I had to listen to his smooth voice.

  I’ll be fine. Just going to rest.

  You do that. Take care of yourself. Let me know when we can reschedule.

  I closed my eyes tightly and took another deep breath. Stop persisting! I thought.

  Will do. Good night.

  Good night.

  I would drop off Ricardo’s folder at the manor tomorrow morning. I just couldn’t face either Cassius or Her Grace.

  Then I did something I hadn’t done in years. I sat my ass in front of the TV and binge-watched every Rome-centered movie and show I owned. I loved and hated every second of it.

  Chapter Six

  “These are wonderful, Vulcan!” Her Grace said, gushing over the final pieces of jewelry I handed her. A few were of my own creation while the rest were done to her precise specifications. The rest of the recently acquired gems now rested in metals and chains of gold, silver, and even bronze.

  We sat in the tea parlor, a spitting image of her favorite parlor back in France before the revolution. I drank the tea because I was nothing if not a polite guest, though I could have used a good shot of whiskey.

  It had been two weeks, and I was still avoiding Cassius. It was becoming harder to do, though. He wasn’t stupid. He knew something was wrong. The fact he did, though, and appeared to really want to meet up, gave me pause. Then I’d tell myself he was a vamp used to getting his way, and he wasn’t done playing with me yet. He wanted things to end on his terms. I still debated whether I should give in and let things end when he decided it was time. It might be easier than dodging him, especially since I still had business with Her Grace and her coven.

  And I still had his damn sword to finish. I’d had a few false starts before I consulted some forums with fellow swordsmiths. I was certain I could be done given another week. I loved working on that damn sword and couldn’t help imagine the smile on his face when I handed over the finished product. But it also brought an ache. I felt like an idiot. He said he didn’t play games, and I never got an “entitled bastard” vibe from him but how much could I trust him?

  He was at La Rose right now, which was the only reason I’d come over.

  Her Grace immediately put on a particularly lovely necklace of sapphire and silver. She had matching earrings, and once they dangled from her ears, I commented that she was radiant.

  She beamed. “You spoil me, mon cher. I love you for that.”

  I smiled. “You’re a delight to spoil. You certainly feed my ego.”

  She laughed, the sound clear as a bell and full of nothing but joy. “You must have been quite intent on creating these for me.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Well, you neglected your favorite for me.” She took a sip of tea, her eyes gleaming preternaturally.

  I raised an eyebrow. “Cornelius is out of town, right? So why would I….” Oh. I cleared my throat. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  “You know quite well. But I suppose I misspoke. I should say your new favorite. One who is absolutely devastated by your neglect.”

  Feeling my cheeks heat, I gulped down the tea. “I think you overexaggerate.”

  “I don’t need to,” she said. “He’s become rather grumpy of late and glares at his phone even though it hasn’t made a sound. Then he scowls as if it’s the phone’s fault you haven’t contacted him.”

  “Now you’re just making stuff up.”

  The tea saucer and cup snapped against the intimate, circular table. I straightened in my chair as my mouth suddenly went bone dry. She had a gleam in her eye that made me uneasy.

  “You need to listen to me. Cassius is not, technically, a part of my coven. He has no coven, you see. If he once had one, they are all dead. He has no one his own age. He is the last living memory of a time long past. He’s lived in Italy for years, mostly alone, and I suspect lonely.”

  My heart went out to him. I knew what it was to be alone and lonely.

  “It’s not healthy for a vampire to be perpetually alone. That is the reason I insisted he follow me to America. I noticed a difference immediately. It was subtle and relieving to see him interact with his own kind. But it wasn’t until the night of my welcome home party that I saw a significant change in him.”

  I looked away from her piercing gaze.

  “It was you, Vulcan. He came alive. I watched you together, and my heart warmed. You are both dear to me, and to see you obviously enjoying each other, and bonding in a way I’ve never seen from him, and from you, not since Dain died, was a delight. Then I heard about your adventure at the club. He defended you against one of his own, and he protected you, gave you status. You know enough about us to recognize the significance of his actions.”

  I wished I didn’t.

  “Then you worked together to disable those filthy ghouls. I watched the recordings. What I saw pleased me immensely despite the circumstances.”

  “Why are you telling me this?” I asked softly.

  She leaned forward over the table, and I gazed at her face. I avoided her eyes and focused on her cute nose.

  “I am asking you, as a friend, please don’t push him away. He is a good man. I say that with all sincerity. Among vampires or humans, he would be considered a good man. He finds no joy in manipulation. He enjoys being with you. Don’t doubt that.”

  “He’s vampire. He’s a predator. I’m prey. I’m sorry if what I say offends you, but that’s the way of things.”

  She nodded. “I am telling you to keep an open mind. As a personal favor to me, my dear friend, go to him tonight and simply enjoy his company.”

  She wouldn’t stop insisting. I still had doubts, worries, and stupid insecurities, but I nodded. Maybe her foot in my ass was what I needed.

  “All right, Your Grace. You win.”

  I didn’t text him. I probably should have to lock myself into my de
cision. But I didn’t want to lock myself in. He might not even still be there. Or he could have found someone else to “enjoy.”

  I shook my head sharply when hurt and jealousy pushed up. Stupid. Don’t be stupid. You gave your word to Her Grace, and you are going to follow through!

  Besides, I knew when I was being a coward. It galled. I couldn’t keep this up.

  I stepped into the club and made my way to the bar since it was the best vantage point to find anyone on the first floor. I would ask Jessie, and if he couldn’t tell me whether Cassius was here, then I’d go up each flight of stairs and search. I really didn’t know what I’d say to him but hoped I wouldn’t have to come up with some excuse. If he enjoyed my company so much, then perhaps he’d simply be happy I was there and wouldn’t ask me any probing questions. I didn’t hold my breath for such an outcome, though.

  I scanned for Jessie before my gaze fell upon the main object of my search. I stilled and watched him. He really was beautiful. Not perfect looking: he definitely wouldn’t be mistaken for a god or angel or whatever else people liked to imagine vamps looked like. But he was attractive. His back was to me, broad shoulders draped in black. I took a deep breath and was about to approach when he moved slightly to grab his drink. Another vampire was with him. In fact, it was the douchebag from the other night. Justin.

  A blast of jealousy so intense it fucking turned my bones green shot through me. My eyes widened, and I gasped at the force of it. Spinning around, I headed for a side door and shoved it open. The cool night wind brushed over my skin, and I took greedy gulps of it.

  “You fucking moron!” I said to myself. What right did I have to get all possessive? Jesus! Cassius never made any promises to me, and I told myself I didn’t even want him to! So get a grip, Vulcan! Get a fucking grip.

  I pressed my hands against the wall and bent over slightly, steadying myself. This was a bad idea. If I got this possessive simply because he was talking to someone else, I was really crushing hard. I wasn’t exactly surprised by my intense emotions. I wasn’t an idiot. I had an abusive childhood and the world in general neglected me. Dain had been my first real human connection. What I felt for Cassius definitely overshadowed what I’d felt for my mentor. One big difference was I never wanted Dain to fuck me.

  Cringing, I straightened. It was now or never. Find your balls and go back in there or turn tail and run like a coward. It pissed me off I actually had to debate my choices.

  Then I felt a prickling sensation on the back of my neck and spun around. I knew what that meant. My cuff blades shot out as a black form streaked in front of me. I moved to keep my back to the wall but wasn’t quick enough. The vampire slammed into me, and I fell forward. I turned the fall into a roll and came up on one knee. Thankfully, I was wearing Nicole’s jacket and the impact didn’t disable me. I still nearly lost my breath and now gasped for it back but no bones were broken or crushed, which was the bastard’s intent. It was dark, and the vampire was fast, but I had knowledge of their hunting tactics. I closed my eyes and waited, sensing the air around me. I couldn’t allow panic to grip me.

  The night air stirred to my left along with a faint whoosh, and I pushed to my feet at the same time I spun. To an observer the action probably resembled a dance move. I used both blades to slice any part of his body I could find. A growl reverberated through the air and knocked against my bones. I jumped back to press against the wall as the vampire became visible. He growled at me, dressed in garish clubbing clothes, his canines all the way descended. His eyes were bright red, and they gleamed in the night as his skin stretched drastically along his bones.

  Shit. He was in full feeding mode. I had to get inside the club if I wanted to stand a chance at living. The problem was the side door only went one way. I would have to run out of the alley and then toward the entrance again but the vamp was blocking the mouth of the alley. It wasn’t going to be easy, but I wasn’t ready to die today.

  I doubted I cut his skin. A vampire’s hide was thick. At least I gave him something to think about.

  “My name is Vulcan,” I said, proud my voice was clear and steady. “I have an alliance with Her Grace, the Duchess of California. You would do well to walk away. I am protected.”

  “You’re not protected now,” he said, his voice silky and entrancing. He tried to put the whammy on me, and I gritted my teeth against it. I avoided his eyes and focused on the pain in my back where he had slammed into me. I would have a grand bruise tomorrow.

  Vamps resembled demons in full feeding mode and sounded like angels.

  I raised my arms, my cuff blades gleaming in the night even as he crouched to spring. Then the side door crashed open and I felt a whoosh of air shoot past me. I had enough time to think, what the fuck, when the column of air collided with the vampire, throwing him out of the alley where he crash-landed on the sidewalk. Then like a veil being parted, a second vampire appeared out of seemingly nowhere.

  I gaped.

  Cassius.

  A menacing growl worthy of a wolf sounded from his chest as he stepped in front of me, a solid wall between me and the other vamp. I retracted my cuff blades and hid them back under my sleeves. I wouldn’t need them anymore. I alternated between annoyance at the protection and immense gratitude.

  The attacking vampire stood and snarled.

  “You are wrong,” Cassius said. I didn’t recognize his voice, and the menace in it sent a shiver down my spine. “He is well protected.”

  The vampire appeared to consider his situation, and I was sure he sensed Cassius’s age. He debated for less than a minute before streaking away. While most vamps chose the allure-and-feed style of hunting, others preferred violence.

  I leaned against the wall and focused on breathing, the fading adrenaline causing my legs to tremble. Cassius stayed where he was for a few extra minutes, watching, waiting, a shield. My shield. My stomach jittered for an entirely new reason.

  He finally turned and focused on me. His eyes were their normal pretty blue, his canines retracted.

  I nodded to him. “What’s up?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “What’s up, indeed.”

  I grinned. “Thanks. I had him right where I wanted him, of course, but I figured you saved him from a real ass-kicking.”

  “Hmmm.”

  When I was sure my legs would hold me, I pushed away from the wall. I held out my hand. “Really, thanks.”

  He stared at my hand for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then he took it, and instead of shaking, he brought it to his lips and gently kissed the back of it.

  I gaped again. For a brief moment, I met his eyes.

  “You’re welcome.” He squeezed my hand once before letting go. “Did he harm you?”

  I stretched slightly, unable to hide a wince. “A little. I’ll be fine. I’ll just take some Advil when I get home. I’ll have a magnificent bruise tomorrow. Finishing your sword is going to be just delightful.”

  He regarded me in silence for a moment. “So you are still working on it?”

  I frowned. “We have a contract. Of course I am.”

  He looked away. Awkward.

  We walked out of the alley and back into the club, heading for the bar. I waved at Jessie and held up two fingers. He rolled his eyes and nodded. I carefully sat on the stool and rotated my shoulders and back, trying to find some position that eased the ache.

  Cassius reclaimed his vodka and that reminded me he’d been talking to Justin when I spotted him. Jessie set down my two shots and gave me a concerned look, obviously seeing how I was holding myself.

  I waved him off. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

  He snorted and walked away.

  I took one of my shots before asking Cassius, “How’d you know I was back there?”

  “I smelled you.”

  I blinked. “Oh.”

  He regarded me intensely, his expression blank. “I was about to take a drink, wondering if Justin would ever leave me in peace, when I caught your sc
ent. I turned, hoping to see you. I didn’t. I excused myself and followed my nose. I came to the side door just as I heard the vampire saying you weren’t protected. I decided to show him he was wrong.”

  I quirked my mouth in a half smile. “Well, then”—I held up my second shot in a toast—“here’s to your nose and your ears. Glad I warrant the attention of both.”

  Cassius shook his head slightly, and his smile was amused. I realized acutely how much I missed his smile. He tapped his glass against mine, and we both took a drink.

  “So Justin asked you to sing again?” I asked after a moment’s pause.

  “As he always does.”

  “You any good?”

  “I’m very good.”

  I grinned. “I’ll have to be the judge of that. Any chance you might feel in the mood tonight?”

  A strange light came into Cassius’s eyes, and he shifted closer to me. I tensed when he trailed his fingers lightly down my arm. The touch burned a path along my skin despite my thick sleeve. I stared at his face, abruptly losing my playfulness.

  “Why, Vulcan,” Cassius said, his voice silky and suggestive. “Do you want me to sing for you?”

  “Um,” I said rather breathlessly.

  He bent his head enough that his warm breath brushed against my skin. “I would be delighted to serenade you.”

  I gulped. I knew he heard it. He smiled. Bastard.

  Then he stepped back and finished his drink. I just breathed in and out, consciously loosening my tightened muscles. No way could I control my dick. I pressed my legs together, praying all the scents in the club kept Cassius from noticing my arousal.

  “I planned to turn Justin down,” he said, his tone back to normal, “but now I might have to reconsider his offer.”

  I cleared my throat, knowing it would squeak if I didn’t. “Really? Um, don’t know how I ranked so high, but don’t tell Justin. He’ll suddenly become my new best friend and try to manipulate me into making you sing all the damn time, whether you want to or not.”