Win, Lose, or Darcy

by Jennifer Joy

  He poured himself a glass of wine and settled in front of the fireplace. Tomorrow would take an eternity to dawn.

  Chapter 37

  After a night of sleepless dreams and a stomach unable to handle anything more substantial than tea, Darcy and Bingley arrived at Meryton. The smells preceding from the inn beckoned to him and his belly growled. He looked at Bingley, who also looked toward the inn and licked his lips.

  “Does your household know when to expect us?” Darcy asked.

  “Perhaps it is best for us to stop here. I could not eat a bite this morning and a man ought not propose on an empty stomach,” said Bingley.

  Accepting Bingley’s sound reasoning, they signaled the coachman to stop, and they followed the enticing aroma of beef into the inn.

  “Are you nervous?” Darcy asked as they settled in, and two tankards of ale were placed in front of them.

  Bingley tugged his hair. “I could not sleep at all. I have been imagining what to say over and over in my mind, but nothing ever sounds right. What if she does not want me? What if I was away too long?”

  Darcy leaned back in his chair until the wood squeaked. “She loves you still. Do not doubt it.” If only he could feel so confident about Elizabeth. Had he done enough? Would she see how he tried? Every conversation, every touch and look had played before him like a stage performance the night before. There were moments he was certain that she felt the same way about him as he did about her. But in the recesses of his mind lingered the tiniest doubt. Did she feel as deeply for him as he did for her? He would know in a look. He only needed to see her.

  “What would you say, Darcy?” asked Bingley. “I have never proposed before, and I do not want to bumble it.”

  “You have as much experience as I do,” he replied. “Besides, I am not the one to give sound advice when it was my comments about Miss Bennet which caused you to doubt her in the first place. You should merely speak what is in your heart. Be honest with her.”

  Bingley hung his head. “I ought to apologize to her. If she has been as miserable as I have been at my own doing, then she deserves my heartfelt apology.”

  The curtain separating their private room from the rest of the inn pulled apart. Darcy moved his tankard to make room for the plate, but it was not the barmaid bringing their food. It was Sir William Lucas.

  Clearing his throat and taking off his hat to clutch it between his hands, Sir William said, “Pardon me, please, for the interruption. I saw your coach arrive and thought I would take the opportunity to welcome you back to Meryton.” He stepped into the room, shuffling his hat. “You are returning to Netherfield Park, I assume?”

  Bingley motioned to the extra chair at their table, which did much to cheer Sir William.

  “Yes, the business affairs which took me away from Netherfield Park have been seen to, and I find myself at leisure to enjoy the countryside again.”

  “Will your sisters be joining you?” he asked.

  Bingley frowned. “No. They prefer to stay in town during the Season.”

  Sir William frowned as well, apparently displeased with the information. “That is too bad, but we are happy to receive you. And you, as well, Mr. Darcy.”

  Darcy nodded. “Is your family well, Sir William?”

  “I am flattered that you ask. Did you know that my eldest daughter recently returned from a successful trip to town? She is engaged to an extraordinary gentleman. Perhaps you know him? Lord Winslow?”

  It did not surprise Darcy in the least that Lord Winslow would choose someone like Miss Lucas for a wife. She was as sensible as she was practical— traits he would appreciate in a second wife. “I do know him. His estate is near Pemberley. Please accept my congratulations for Miss Lucas. Lord Winslow is known to be a kind man and a gentleman worthy of the title he bears.”

  Sir William smiled. “I am glad to hear it. It bears more weight coming from a gentleman such as yourself. However, I would not give your congratulatory due justice— not when you might give them yourself. Tonight is the Meryton Assembly, and we would be pleased if both of you gentlemen would join us.” He looked between Darcy and Bingley, increasing the tempo of his hat shuffle.

  Without hesitation, Bingley accepted, and Sir William left the room declaring how satisfied he was to have happened to see them enter the village and wishing them a pleasant repast.

  Bingley turned to Darcy as soon as Sir William was gone. “It is perfect! We will go to the assembly tonight. If all is well, I shall propose on the morrow!” Bingley’s relief at putting off the inevitable made Darcy chuckle. “Laugh if you must, but I have never felt such opposing sensations at once. I long to see Jane again— there is nothing I want more in the world. And yet, I fear speaking to her. I am afraid that she will see through me and recognize the fool I am for leaving her so easily.”

  “We are all fools in love.” Darcy would hardly admit to himself, much less to Bingley, how nervous he was to see Elizabeth. He wished he could pour out the contents of his heart in such a way as would astound her with its beauty, but for once in his life, he did not trust himself to express himself eloquently. He would heed his own advice to Bingley and speak the truth in the clearest way he could, and he would have to trust that the right words would come to him when he looked into her fine eyes.

  “Now, girls, I want you to hold your heads high this evening. I will not encourage the gossips and give them more to chatter about. Wear your finest dresses.” Mother bustled about the house, fluttering from room to room to check on the progress of her daughters.

  “It is only a public assembly, Mama,” Jane reminded her, donning her second best dress— a rose petal pink gown which would still turn heads. Jane could turn heads wearing a flour sack.

  “Yes, and we need not give cause for others to speculate about our return to Longbourn. As far as anyone knows, we are merely returning for the country air before returning to our townhouse.”

  Elizabeth pitied Mother. It was either that or continue to be frustrated by her refusal to see the situation they were in due, in a large part, to her reckless abandon. “Mother,” she said softly. “I am certain that everyone knows why we are here by now. If we cannot be honest with our friends, how will they react when our debts are called in and we are sent to debtor’s prison?”

  “Friends?” Mother’s face turned red, and she plopped her fists on her hips. “What friends? You should have heard the derision in Lady Lucas’ voice when she welcomed us home. And when I went to the shop for ribbons for your hair, the shopkeeper would not give me any credit.”

  Mary, who had been listening by the door, said, “You can hardly blame the shopkeeper… given the circumstances. As for Lady Lucas, I was with you and heard nothing untoward in her tone. It was she who made sure we knew about the assembly tonight. She even implied that she had a lovely surprise to share with us.”

  “I wonder what it is?” asked Jane. “Lady Lucas is not one to keep a secret.”

  Mother harrumphed. “She would rather mock us in front of the whole village. Oh, if only one of you had married well!”

  Mary stepped toward Mother and kissed her on the forehead. “I love you too, Mother.”

  Oblivious to Mary’s sarcasm, Mother took her hand into her own and patted it. “I always knew that you were the daughter to depend on to see to her duty. I am proud of you, Mary.”

  Too shocked to take offense at Mother’s cuts against her and her remaining single sisters, Elizabeth watched Mary’s eyes fill up at the praise so rarely given.

  The door downstairs creaked open and promptly shut.

  Mother dropped Mary’s hand. “I do hope that is your father returned from Meryton. I warned him not to make us late for the assembly…,” she continued chattering until she got to the top of the landing with a view of the front door. Her fan clattered to the floor. “It has happened! Oh, we will rot in prison before the assembly!” she shouted hysterically, sending the girls to Mother’s side before she suffered an episode.


  Looking down the stairwell, Elizabeth saw Father. He stood like a statue in the entrance hall, an expression of bewilderment covering his ashen face.

  “Father?” asked Elizabeth, descending the steps. “Are you well?” She reached out to him. “Are we to go to prison?”

  In a stupor, Father looked up. “Give me a few moments, Lizzy. I need to think.” He shuffled into his study and closed the door gently behind him.

  Elizabeth leaned against the wall, too shaken to stand without support. So it was happening. All of their efforts to gain time to pay off their debts had given them nothing more than a se’nnight.

  Mother retreated to her room. Elizabeth heard the cheerful chatter of Kitty and Lydia mixed with Mary’s low, comforting voice. They were oblivious to anything outside of the prospect of an evening full of flirtations and dancing. They had no clue what awaited them.

  Jane appeared by Elizabeth’s side. “You do not think it is bad news, do you?”

  “I cannot think it good news.”

  “I cannot help but hope,” said Jane, a sweet breeze floating through the house and rustling her ringlets.

  Elizabeth raised her hand to let the breeze flow over her hand like satin against her skin. “Could it be that the wind has changed?”

  They stood there in the hall before the open front door, afraid to hope and dreading more disappointment.

  When her anxiety grew unbearable, Elizabeth said, “Let us ask Father what has happened.”

  Together, they opened the door to his sacred chamber.

  He sat shaking his head between his hands.

  Chapter 38

  “Father?” they asked.

  Looking up from his stupor, he grinned. “The debt is resolved. It is gone.”

  Elizabeth reached out for the chair in front of her before her legs gave out. “What? How is that possible?” she asked.

  Father still shook his head. “All I know is that I went to see your uncle Phillips for our appointment to go over the books and discuss improvements. He handed me a letter which had been sent by messenger from your uncle Gardiner, who conveyed to me that the day before, an anonymous benefactor had seen to the absolution of our debts.” He laced his fingers together and leaned back against his chair.

  “Uncle gave no clue to the identity of this benefactor?” she asked.

  “We ought to be able to thank him,” added Jane.

  Father pulled a letter out of his waistcoat pocket. “Here. Read it for yourself.”

  Elizabeth held the letter so that Jane could read it too, but it revealed no details.

  “It says nothing about the benefactor, but I find the conditions surprising. Will you honor the arrangement?” she asked.

  “I cannot deny him— I assume that our benefactor is a male— when such a tremendous favor has been extended to us. In fact, I see the conditions as an extension of his kindness toward my family.” Father scratched his head. “It is something I should have seen to years ago, and it shames me to have my negligence brought to the fore by another’s keen responsibility toward us. I know that I do not deserve such consideration, and I vow before the both of you that I will do my best not to waste it.”

  Father’s words and the extent of the good acts done in secrecy tingled Elizabeth’s spine.

  “Will you tell Kitty and Lydia the news?” asked Jane.

  With an anticipatory chortle, Father said, “I will no longer shirk my responsibility. Tell them that I wish to see them this moment! Tell Mrs. Bennet to come as well.” He rose from his desk, leaning on his knuckles, his cheeks pink with purpose.

  Jane went to retrieve the girls, but Elizabeth stayed behind. She wanted to witness every detail of this great moment. Father winked at her, and she took courage in his newfound pride. There was only one man Elizabeth knew who had so much pride, he could spare some for her father. And how she had spurned him for it. Now, she would kiss him! Her body burned at the thought of kissing Mr. Darcy. Perhaps ladies were not supposed to think such vivid thoughts, but Elizabeth could not help but feel certain that she would enjoy it very much.

  Lydia tugged Kitty along behind Mother as they clambered into Father’s study. Elizabeth pressed her cool hands against her cheeks lest they see her blush.

  Father, still leaning over his desk with a mischievous grin, said, “I have received some good news today, and I wish for you to share in my joy. Our debts have been resolved.”

  Gleeful shouts and praises filled the cramped room. Mother sat in the chair opposite Father’s desk on the pretense that she would otherwise faint, but her excitement had her bouncing up and down in the seat.

  Father allowed them time for their unhindered expressions of joy. Then, he leaned forward until his knuckles turned white. “There is one condition,” he said.

  Mother, without thought or hesitation, said, “Whatever it is, we will see to it! Oh, what a glorious day!”

  “I rather agree with you, my dear, and I am pleased to know that you support my decision.”

  That caught Mother’s attention. Elizabeth tried to think of a time when Father and Mother had agreed on anything.

  Standing tall and looping his thumbs in the pockets of his waistcoat, Father continued, “Kitty and Lydia are to further their education and learn the accomplishments of proper young ladies of our station at a finishing school of our choice. One was suggested, which I am inclined to agree to.”

  Gasps filled the space where only moments ago, cries of joy had been.

  “Furthermore,” Father added, “the hiring of a chaperone to attend to you at all times is required, thus assuring that this marvelous opportunity to set up our daughters to enter the best of society is not wasted.”

  Lydia glowered. Kitty considered her for a moment, as always looking to her for guidance. However, it pleased Elizabeth to see her then shrug her shoulders and declare, “I, for one, am thrilled at the opportunity to improve myself. There were too many times while we were in London when I felt that I fell short. I would like to feel that I fit in better with the other ladies I admire.”

  Mother was overjoyed. “We have been blessed! With these added improvements, my daughters will surely make brilliant matches and I shall never have to worry again! Oh, Mr. Bennet, this is wonderful news indeed!”

  Nobody thought to ask how this turn of fortune had occurred. It bothered Elizabeth that their hero should go unacknowledged yet again, but she could not say his name aloud when he had ensured that every hint of his identity had been hidden. Still, her conviction grew.

  It took the threat of Lydia arriving at the assembly with a red nose to calm her down, but eventually, they crowded into their coach in mostly excellent spirits for the drive into Meryton. Elizabeth would have rather walked by the light of the full moon to revel in the glories and surprises of the day, but she was just as anxious to arrive at the assembly as the rest of her family. Even Father was in a merry mood and desirous of company with which to share their good fortune.

  The first person she saw was Charlotte, who greeted her with open arms and the largest, warmest smile she had seen on her friend.

  “Oh, Lizzy, I am so happy to see you! You look well.”

  “I am all the better for seeing you. Lady Lucas implied that you have a surprise?” She looked over Charlotte’s shoulder where a tall gentleman in elegant clothes stood surrounded by three small children. A nurse hovered nearby, but it was plain to see that the children preferred their father.

  When the gentleman saw her notice him, he smiled, his eyes lingering on Charlotte.

  Charlotte turned and spoke to him. “Phillip, will you join us? I want you to meet my dearest friend in the world.” To Elizabeth, she said, “Lizzy, this is Lord Phillip Winslow. We are engaged to be married.”

  Elizabeth embraced Charlotte again, her heart brimming with bliss. She had hardly stepped back when Sir William joined them.

  “I see you have met Charlotte’s intended, Miss Elizabeth. Lord Winslow has a grand estate up in Derbyshire. Th
ey intend to marry by special license upon returning to town,” said Sir William loudly enough that others might hear of his daughter’s triumphal match. Elizabeth did not blame him.

  “Derbyshire?” she asked. “Is your estate by any chance near Pemberley?”

  “It is within riding distance,” Charlotte answered for Lord Winslow, who was distracted by his son sitting on top of his foot and bouncing like he rode a horse.

  One of the children, the smallest, toddled over to Charlotte and tugged on her dress. “Up?” she asked.

  Charlotte leaned down and swooped the girl up into her arms to settle on her hip— the arts of motherhood naturally assisting her in her new role in the family.

  “Charlotte, I want to introduce Lord Winslow to the Phillips,” said Sir William, practically bouncing in his excitement to show his future son-in-law to every person in the room.

  Elizabeth laughed and said, “I am pleased to make your acquaintance, Lord Winslow.” To Charlotte, she said, “I will look for you later. There is so much to tell you.”

  With promises to catch up with each other during the course of the evening, Elizabeth took a turn about the large, open room, filling with couples and families. Would he come to Meryton?

  Mr. Collins strutted as proudly as a peacock with Mary on his arm. Charlotte glowed at the tender attention shown to her by Lord Winslow and his children. She was delighted for their good fortune. Both Mary and Charlotte had always been the ladies most likely to be left on the shelf. It was a sort of just irony that they should be the first engaged while she and Jane remained unattached.

  In a room surrounded by people, she grew lonely. What if Mr. Darcy did not come for her? What if he decided that her family was more trouble than she was worth?

  An hour passed and it seemed that everyone in the village and surrounding areas had arrived. Elizabeth danced to distract herself from the void she felt, the growing dread that Mr. Darcy’s kindness had reached its limit. If only she could see him one more time.