Bad News

by Pseudonymous Bosch

  CHAPTER

  TWENTY-SIX

  THE OTHER SIDE OF THE COIN

  Now that they had recovered from the fear of attack, the littlest dragons had left Ariella’s back and were flying behind with Houdini and Bodhi.

  Unlike Satya, Ariella was somehow able to make the unruly young dragons stay in a single line, although a straight line admittedly it was not.

  No, they did not look anything like ducklings (not even ugly ducklings). And few people would call them cute or cuddly. Nonetheless, the people watching them couldn’t help smiling.

  With the little dragons trailing behind, Clay guided Ariella out of the crater, to the landing strip just on the other side of the crater’s rim. They coasted down to the asphalt stretch, just before the second helicopter that belonged to the Midnight Sun, and parked by a row of Cessnas.

  Behind Ariella, dark figures were erupting over the side of the crater, flying up into the starry night. The dragons—they were leaving.

  “I think the dragons are almost as happy to get out of there as I am,” said Clay, watching. “What about you?”

  Satya looked up at him with her dark eyes hinting at a smile. “There are some things I’ll miss.”

  Clay felt himself turning red. “So,” he said, looking down at the scaly dragon back beneath them. “About that kiss. Would you maybe want to try again—even if we’re not about to die?”

  “Smooth line,” said Brett.

  “Yeah, real classy,” said Leira.

  Clay’s ears were burning pink.

  Satya laughed. “Sure,” she said. “But no gum chewing this time. And don’t you want to take off your helmet?”

  Quickly, Clay removed the helmet.

  “And maybe the ski hat, too, while you’re at it?”

  “Wait, no, don’t ruin our fun!”

  Clay emphatically pulled off his hat. His hair was messier than ever.

  Satya looked at him critically. “That’s better, although I have to say I’m curious to see what you look like with your hair brushed.”

  “The truth? I look exactly the same.”

  “Well, then I guess there’s no reason to wait any longer, is there?”

  She closed her eyes and Clay leaned in. Now that he wasn’t chewing, he could appreciate how soft her lips were and how nice she smelled. After a moment, Hero started squawking and scratching.

  Satya sat back, beaming. “Darn bird,” she complained.

  Clay felt like he might float away.

  Except that he could still hear the sounds of Leira and Brett laughing and cheering coming from the ski hat bunched up in his hand.

  Ariella made a noise that was suspiciously like a human cough.

  Isn’t it time for you two to disembark?

  In the not-too-far distance, a Land Rover was heading toward them from the crater, leaving a wake of dust and sand behind. The vehicle was packed with employees, or former employees, of the Keep. They looked like refugees.

  Vicente waved from the window. Satya waved back.

  “Me too?” Clay asked Ariella. “Aren’t you taking me home?”

  That wasn’t part of the bargain. Besides, I have to take these little creatures home. Ariella nodded fondly in the direction of the young dragons frolicking on the tarmac.

  “You mean you’re taking them to the Other Side.…”

  Of course, he’d known it all along, but the reality suddenly hit Clay: When he’d agreed to let the dragons shut off access to the Other Side, permanently, he was saying good-bye to all of them. Including Ariella.

  “I guess you could come with us,” said Satya as they climbed down from the dragon. “But it looks like it’s going to be a tight squeeze.”

  As the Land Rover pulled up beside them, a sound came from above. They covered their eyes to peer out into the night sky.

  Something with blinking lights was approaching, flying in the opposite direction from all the dragons.

  “That’s not your dad’s seaplane, is it?” asked Vicente, hopping out of the Land Rover.

  Hardly daring to hope, Clay stared at the plane as it came to a rest about fifty yards down the tarmac.

  “I don’t seem to remember that thing having such big wheels,” Vicente said.

  Although, as you know, it didn’t actually belong to Clay’s dad, it was the seaplane, all right. But there was something different about it. Where before there had been long skis attached to the bottom of the plane, to keep it afloat in water, there were now four almost absurdly large wheels that looked like they had been pulled from a tractor.

  “Well, now that your ride is here, we’d all better get going. I’ll give you two a minute to say good-bye.” Vicente shook Clay’s hand, then started walking back to the Land Rover.

  “Where will you guys go?”

  “To another animal park, probably,” Satya said. “But, you know, with animals.”

  “Yeah, I guess that might work out better,” said Clay.

  She gave Clay a quick squeeze. Then she and Hero went off to join her father.

  Clay watched them go. Then he walked toward the weirdly repaired seaplane.

  Owen met him with a hug. “I’m guessing the fact that you’re alive means you were successful?”

  “Mostly,” said Clay, thinking about Flint and a few other loose ends.

  “Mostly is usually as good as it gets.”

  Clay nodded at the truth of this. “So you got your plane out of the lava.”

  “Mostly…” He grinned, gesturing at the big wheels that had replaced the seaplane’s skis. “And that’s not the only surprise.…”

  I think I’ve had enough surprises, Clay thought. “Yeah, what else?” he asked warily.

  Clay heard him before he saw him, sneezing and grumbling to himself as he stepped out of the plane: “It’s all those dragons.… I must be allergic! Can you be allergic to dragons? What’s the collective noun for dragons, anyway? Not a flock. Maybe a herd…”

  “Max-Ernest?”

  Max-Ernest smiled sheepishly at his little brother. “Guilty as charged.”

  As they followed Owen back into the plane, Clay thought about how angry he’d been at Max-Ernest. For abandoning him for so many years, then avoiding him and not talking to him when they were finally reunited. For being so overprotective one minute, and then the next minute sending Clay on a crazy mission into the nest of the Midnight Sun. For so many things.

  But he was too tired to confront his brother. Besides, there would be plenty of time to yell at Max-Ernest later, and Max-Ernest would have to grin and bear it; they’d be stuck in the plane for hours.

  “Sorry it took me so long to get to you,” said his brother when they were seated: Max-Ernest in the copilot’s seat, Clay crouched behind. “As soon as I heard you were out here alone—I mean the first time you were here—I started looking for a ride to Earth Ranch. Only it’s pretty hard to find any ships going anywhere near Price Island. So I had to settle for sitting in the hold of a Japanese fishing ship. Then rowing five miles…”

  “You rowed five miles?” asked Clay skeptically.

  “Well, one of the fishermen did,” Max-Ernest admitted.

  Clay wrinkled his nose. “Did you even shower afterward? You smell like crap.”

  “Not crap… carp. Which is an—”

  “Anagram,” Clay finished. “I remember.”

  Max-Ernest smiled. “Well, I taught you something, at least.”

  Clay laughed.

  “So… I met Pietro,” he said after a while.

  Max-Ernest looked at him askance. “Pietro? But he’s…”

  “On the Other Side. Uh-huh. He told me he left you something in the lining of your hat. When you get home, you should look.”

  Max-Ernest eyed Clay, trying to ascertain whether his younger brother was pulling his leg.

  “Actually, the hat’s right in here,” said Max-Ernest. “I never travel without it, remember?” He unzipped a battered black leather valise that looked like an old doc
tor’s bag, and pulled out what resembled a black Frisbee. He shook it once; it popped into a top hat. “How ’bout that?”

  “Nice,” said Clay admiringly. “I forgot it did that.”

  “Now, let’s see what we’ve got here.” Max-Ernest put the hat on his lap and started feeling around. “Seems a little odd that I wouldn’t have found something that Pietro left in the hat over twelve years ago, but you never know, I guess.”

  There were several hidden pockets in the hat, and Max-Ernest started pulling out one thing after another: three playing cards (an ace, a king, and a joker); a half dozen magician’s “silks” (i.e., scarves); numerous chocolate-bar wrappers (Clay saw jokes scribbled on a few of them, as well as a set list of tricks); a wilted carrot top (left there by Quiche the rabbit, no doubt); and what was unmistakably a pair of underwear (always good to have a spare, right?). From the very bottom, Max-Ernest scooped out a handful of coins, which he was on the verge of pocketing, when he stopped and held a nickel up to the light.

  He flipped it around between his fingers, frowning. “Could this be what Pietro was talking about? I’m pretty sure it’s not mine.…”

  “What is it?” Clay asked.

  “A trick coin. Both sides are tails. See?” Max-Ernest handed it to Clay. “But why would he leave it for me? You can get them in any magic store in the country. They’re a dime a dozen. Well, a nickel a dozen in this case.”

  Clay tried to hand the coin back, but Max-Ernest wouldn’t take it. He was obviously disappointed.

  “You know, he was like a second father to me, Pietro,” he said, shaking his head. “Then one day, poof, he’s gone. All he leaves is a note saying he’s going to the Other Side, and I never see him again.”

  Yeah, that sucks when somebody leaves like that, thought Clay, but with none of his usual anger.

  “And now he wants me to have this old trick coin?” Max-Ernest complained. “Is that supposed to make me feel better? Remember him fondly?”

  “Maybe it was like a good-luck charm for him?” Clay guessed.

  “Maybe…” Max-Ernest shook off his grim mood and smiled. “Anyway, you keep it. If it gives you good luck, that’s enough good luck for me.”

  “Okay, um, thanks,” said Clay, pocketing the coin.

  “You know the real reason I’ve been avoiding you, don’t you?” said Max-Ernest suddenly.

  “Uh, not really,” said Clay, startled by the sudden turn of the conversation.

  “Because I feel guilty for abandoning you.”

  Clay raised his eyebrows. “So basically you’re saying you abandoned me because you abandoned me?”

  “Makes a lot of sense, I know.” Max-Ernest made the embarrassed half-laughing sound he made sometimes. Hmghh. “I won’t do it again.”

  “Good… You know, you didn’t really have to take care of me when you were a kid, but you did,” Clay added after a moment. “So there’s that.”

  “Sure I had to,” Max-Ernest protested. “You’re my brother!”

  Clay shrugged, smiling. “Okay, fine. You had to. I guess that means you still have to.”

  Owen, who’d kept silent while the two brothers talked, now pointed out the window. “Look—”

  Clay peered out the glass and saw a flock of birds flying in perfect formation back in the direction of the crater.

  Earth Ranch might have been a magic camp, but it wasn’t often that people performed magic in Big Yurt. Not stage magic, anyway.

  When you could really read minds, seeing somebody pick your card out of a deck wasn’t all that impressive. When you could levitate somebody with a spell, levitating someone with strings seemed a little pointless. As for the two-tailed coin, that hardly counted as a magic trick at all.

  Nonetheless, the campers were charmed by Clay and Max-Ernest’s show. They laughed a lot, anyway—sometimes at the two brothers, sometimes with them, and sometimes both.

  For Max-Ernest, the performance was bittersweet, reminding him of the shows he had put on with Clay when Clay was five or six, and Max-Ernest not much older than Clay was now; but also, he was reminded of Pietro and his childhood performances with his brother, Luciano, the story of which had helped inspire Max-Ernest’s own magic career, such as it was.

  For Clay, it was bittersweet also. Sure, it had been fun, but he had the sense that it was the last time he would perform onstage. That was his brother’s thing, not his. If there was magic in Clay’s future, it wasn’t the sort you did for an audience.

  Afterward, Clay took Como for a walk up Nose Peak. With Como sitting on the ground beside him, Clay sat on the rock, watching the sun set, much as he’d watched the sun rise on so many mornings. And then, as before, the ever-sharp llama nudged him: In the far distance, in the middle of a pink cloud, there was a tiny speck. Clay could just make out the shape of wings, and for a second he thought it might be Ariella. But of course it wasn’t; it was Owen. Owen had delivered Clay and Max-Ernest to camp more than a week ago and then left the next day on a supply run. Now it was time for him to take Cass and Max-Ernest away for good.

  As he watched the plane grow bigger and bigger, Clay idly flipped Pietro’s coin in the air over and over, letting it land in his open palm.

  Tails.

  Tails.

  Tails.

  Always the same side.

  Suddenly, he closed his fist around the coin.

  “That’s it!” he exclaimed. “There’s no other side!”

  The llama looked blankly at him. Clay shook his head—“Never mind, no importa, it’s a human thing”—but his mind buzzed with excitement.

  He had figured out Pietro’s message; he was sure of it.

  Sometimes trying to get to the Other Side would get you nowhere; sometimes you had to bet on the side you were already on.

  Clay jumped off the rock. He couldn’t wait to tell Max-Ernest about his discovery.

  With the irritated llama trotting behind, Clay ran down the hill, then jumped onto his newly repaired garbage-lid sled. As fast as he could, he slid down the scree-covered slope. But he slowed a little when he got near the bottom, allowing himself to enjoy the end of the ride.

  There was no need to rush, he told himself. Max-Ernest would never leave again without saying good-bye.

  APPENDIX

  ENTOMOPHAGY: THE EATING OF INSECTS

  Insects can be a great source of protein on the fly, so to speak. To get a significant amount of nutrition from most bugs, however, it’s vital to eat more than one. A lot more. The nutrition facts below are based on a 100-gram (3.5-ounce) serving. Since ants can weigh as little as 1 milligram, a proper serving might be as many as 100,000. Of course, if you cover those ants in chocolate, as people do in many parts of the world, you won’t have to eat nearly as many, and I think you’ll agree they taste much better.

  ANTS (RED ANT)

  Nutrition Facts

  Serving Size 100g

  Amount Per Serving

  % Daily Value*

  Fat 3.5g 5%

  Carbohydrates 2.9 .01%

  Protein 13.9g 28%

  * Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000-calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs.

  Iron 5.7g

  Calcium 47.8mg

  BEETLES (GIANT WATER)*

  Nutrition Facts

  Serving Size 100g

  Amount Per Serving

  % Daily Value*

  Fat 8.3g 13%

  Carbohydrates 2.1g .01%

  Protein 19.8g 40%

  * Percent Daily Values are based on a 2,000-calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs.

  Iron 13.6g

  Calcium 43.5mg

  TARANTULA (LARGE)*

  Nutrition Facts

  Serving Size 100g

  Amount Per Serving

  % Daily Value*

  Fat 10g 15%

  Carbohydrates 2g 0.1%

  Protein 63g 126%

  * Percent Daily V
alues are based on a 2,000-calorie diet. Your daily values may be higher or lower depending on your calorie needs.

  BAD WORDS

  When Clay was a little boy, he and his brother used to call magic words bad words. To eliminate any lingering confusion, I am supplying a list of actual bad words. Use sparingly. For actual magic words you’ll have to consult someone else.

  XXXX

  XXXX

  XXXXXX

  XXXX

  XXXXX

  DEADLINE

  XXXXXX

  EDITOR

  XXXXXX

  EMPTY (when applied to box of chocolates or chocolate wrapper)

  XXXX

  XXXXXXXXX

  XXXXXXXX

  GLOVE (white color assumed)

  XXXXXX

  MIDNIGHT SUN

  MS. MAUVAIS

  XXXXXXXX

  XXXXXX

  SHARE

  XXXXX

  XXXXX

  THAT SOUND QUICHE MAKES WHEN HE’S OUT OF CARROTS

  THAT WORSE SOUND PB MAKES WHEN HE’S OUT OF CHOCOLATE

  XXXXXXX

  VANILLA

  WORK

  XXXXXX

  &^@!#%#$!*

  DRAGONS OF THE WORLD: A MAGIC TRICK

  As you know, most dragons left our planet long ago. But I, Pseudonymous Bosch, sometimes known as the Great Boschini, have secretly implanted a dragon in your brain, and I have hidden it among the names of dragons from all over the world.*

  To find this dragon rose among dragon thorns, carefully follow these instructions:

  First, choose a two-digit number.

  Add the two digits together.

  Then subtract the sum from your original number.

  (In other words, if your original number was 24, you add 2 and 4, then take the sum of those numbers—i.e., 6—and subtract it from 24.)

  Last, take the number you end up with and find the corresponding dragon.