Heart of the Staff - Complete Series

by Carol Marrs Phipps

“I know,” said Ugleeuh as if she were pouting for baby kittens.

  “Leeuh, when we met last year, and it was all but certain that King Neron and the Elders would vote to withdraw to the Jutwoods, you said that traveling by spell to see me would be no problem for you. Is that still how it is?”

  “Of course, silly. But you surely see how easy it would be for us with both of us at Niarg Castle. And my father still approves of Elves. He told me so this evening, right before I came here.”

  “You told Razzmorten about us? I thought you wanted to wait for a bit.”

  “Oh, we are waiting,” she said with a clever wink. “I said that I was off to see a distinguished gentleman and asked him if he still approved of Elves. He said he certainly did. So the groundwork's been laid, and I expect I'll be telling him about us right soon. Meanwhile, I don't want to waste one moment of our precious time together talking about my family, darling. You understand that, don't you?”

  “Of course I do,” he said, giving her hand a squeeze. “And I hear Liadan coming up the stairs with our supper.”

  ***

  Razzmorten peeped into Ugleeuh's room and found her bed made once again. “Well Fifi,” he said, squatting and clapping his hands at the dog, “You get to have me along to show off your magnificent stool, and I get to have breakfast in the dining hall.

  Let's go.”

  Fifi wagged her tail and raced to his heels to keep up. They were out the portcullis and into the street in no time as hogs raced to be the first at the fresh splatters of slop in the early light. As Razzmorten watched her scurry ahead, snuffling at spots hither and yon, he saw Leeuh on her way toward them with a large piece of paper in her hand. “Oh mercy!” he said, “Trouble's a-coming and I'd rather deal with it in the tower than out in the street.”

  At once, Fifi was at his heels. “Woov-woov!” she cried, dutifully dashing off to scatter a circle of hogs. She was back again in no time, trotting alongside.

  Ugleeuh was quick in spite of their pace. She caught them right outside the tower door. “Have you seen this rubbish?” she said, waving one of Captain Strong's broadsheets. “These lies are out where everyone under the sun can read them.”

  “No,” he said, looking at her carefully. “I've not seen a broadsheet like that for a week or two. Why not come up and have breakfast with me and tell me why that one has you so upset.”

  Ugleeuh looked at him for a moment as though she did not understand a thing he had said, then nodded and followed him up the tower steps to his kitchen, where she paced about in distraction until he had spooned out two bowls of grits.

  He studied her as she smoothed out the paper by her bowl, staring at it as she sampled her first spoonful. “What happened to the bags under her eyes, I wonder?” he thought. “And I can't begin to imagine her being this calm.”

  Ugleeuh made a face and took out a leather pouch from a pannier in her kirtle. She shook out a small mound of sukere and stirred it into her grits before taking another bite.

  “Here,” she said, tossing the bag across the table. “You want some of this on your grits, Father. You just don't know it yet.”

  Razzmorten shook his head as he reached for the pouch.

  “Try it,” she said.

  He picked it up and handed it to her.

  “It's your loss, but you'll figure it out,” she said, pausing to make short work of her grits. “Now...” She hesitated, scraping out the last streaks of grits. “Now. What I don't understand is that I was certain that Minny-Min and Hebraun had never heard of sukere before. But only two days after I see them, I find these broadsheets, printed by the crown, warning of the dangers of sukere use and calling for the people to assemble in a fortnight and declare before all whether sukere should be banned from the country.” She wadded up the broadsheet and threw it across the room, where Fifi chased it to a stop.

  It was a moment before Razzmorten managed to say anything. The fact that she was treating him like a confidante, rather than like someone about to stand in her way had him a bit thrown off. “You're quite right, Leeuh,” he said at last. “Hebraun and Minuet had no idea at all what sukere was beyond what you told them. On the other hand, I'm afraid I know exactly what it is and I had no choice but to tell them about the dangers of allowing it to be sold here. I told them what I knew about it, particularly about what happened to the people of Gwael when they began using it. Hebraun and Minuet wisely chose to tell the people of Niarg about sukere and to let them decide whether or not they want the stuff to be sold. “And that really is quite fair, my dear. They might even let you sell it. And you're free to continue telling everyone about it until the vote. But if they decide to ban sukere in

  Niarg, you'll have to take your business out of the country or risk what ever they decide to do to people who sell it.”

  “You needn't look worried, Father,” she said as she rose with the straps of her satchel over her shoulder. “You can't help not knowing any better. It's all the Elven lies. I hope I can get the people around here to see through them. Stinking Elves.”

  “Stinking Elves? Didn't you see an Elf, last night?”

  “You've not finished your grits, Father. They'd taste entirely better if I left you some sukere,” she said, holding out her pouch. “Change your mind?”

  Razzmorten shook his stunned expression. “Your loss,” she said as she stepped out the door.

  ***

  Ugleeuh spent a long morning traipsing across Niarg, passing out sukere samples and trying to undo the damage caused by the broadsheets. A few merchants were inclined to accept her samples, but none of them would consider trade agreements until they knew what the sukere law would be. Occasional non-merchants also accepted samples, but were noticeably wary about doing so. Unlike the willing curiosity they showed when she came, most people were flatly refusing to have anything to do with what they were now calling 'her pranks.' At last, she decided to find Razorback and let him know what was coming to pass.

  She wondered if he would blame her for this setback. He had been very unreasonable when she warned him not to seek Razzmorten's cooperation. He had even acted as though it was somehow her fault when he returned trapped as a dragon by Razzmorten's spell.

  She found a quiet alley and took out her scrying ball under the shade of a redhaw tree across the fence from some old hens, bathing in the dust. “Fiddlesticks!” she said. “He's with the dragons. I'll just go to his cave and wait for him. There's no point staying here.” And with that she vanished, terrifying the chickens.

  The next she knew, she was catching her balance just inside the mouth of Razorback's cave. A pewee called. A breeze rattled the leaves of the choke oaks shading the cave. “Well, at least I'm the one who knows about this place, and not Mother,” she said, looking about.

  There were tables and shelves with books, a fireplace, a nicely polished board and cupboards, all neat and tidy, but no chairs and no bed. “It's nice that he's as utterly mad about things being clean and tidy as he was as a human. At least I don't mind taking a nap on one of his straw pallets.” She popped a caked piece of sukere from her pouch into her mouth, lay down and was asleep at once.

  “Leeuh!” rumbled a massive presence. “I'm delighted, but why are you sleeping in my cave?”

  Ugleeuh sat up with a gasp. “Is it late?”

  “Right nigh supper. Should I hunt you something? I could roast a peccary in a flash. Or if you don't have time, I do have a huge crock of pickled voles I just got from the dragons, though I'd allow you've not developed a taste for them. Or, should I just fetch something from the kitchen at my keep?”

  “My,” she said, scrambling to her knees. “No. Please don't bother. Minuet and Hebraun are expecting me for supper.”

  “I see,” he said as he settled ponderously onto his keel and rolled to one side with a rushing sigh like a bathing elephant. “Well, if you're sure then. So what's going on?”

  “We've had a setback, or worse.”

  “Or worse?”

&nbs
p; Ugleeeuh could not bring herself to look right at him as she told him about the broadsheet and her fruitless morning. “So now,” she said, sneaking a glance at him,

  “Father and Queen Minny-Min are forcing us wait for the idiots of Niarg to decide whether to allow sukere in the country at all.”

  Razorback gave a terrible roar that echoed away through the Chokewoods, as he shot out of the cave, crashing and galloping through the brush.

  Ugleeuh sat back in the straw, panting from her awful fright. The cave was certainly a tight space for a furious dragon.

  Razorback appeared on the bluff overlooking Peach Knob. “I deserved this place as much as you, dear brother,” he said, huffing and snorting flickers of blue flame in his nostrils. “I grew up here, too. Ha! Haycocks and shocks of early wheat. Let's fix that.” And with that, he thundered down out of the woods into the open, setting alight every single haycock, as redwing blackbirds dove and scolded from above. By the time he had gotten to the wheat, the hired hands were sticking arrows into the thick hide all up and down his back, shouting and daring to come closer, arrow by arrow. Soon every shock and sheaf were burning. “Hey, let's try Granddad's peaches!” he boomed, scattering the hands in wails of terror as he doubled back on them and galloped for the orchard.

  He trotted up to a tree and bathed its trunk in blue and yellow flames, making its bark smoke and pop. “Much too wet,” he rumbled. “So here's a spell to make the stems burn like pitch.” Soon every peach tree was on fire. He looked up to see the hands hollering and running toward him again, pausing here and there to loose arrows as they came. With a bellowing peal of laughter, he vanished.

  He appeared on the balcony of Demonica's receiving room and roared. He roared again and waited, watching a skua chase a handful of puffins down the rocky cliff to catch one of them in the air over the water below.

  “All right what...” said Demonica, suddenly yanking open the double doors behind him, “do you mean by your beastly clamor?”

  “My beloved...”

  “Has the prolonged thralldom in your current form affected your reasoning?” she said as she seated herself on a stone bench before the balustrade. “You made me leave a young lady strapped to the table downstairs.”

  “Your tongue is a whip, my love.”

  “That's good to know,” she said.

  “I came because I thought you liked being kept up with news about your enterprises.”

  She folded her arms and studied the arrows sticking out of him.

  He turned about once and settled onto his keel with a sigh. “Razzmorten has been interfering with Leeuh's getting the merchants interested in sukere,” he said.

  “That's your job if I'm not mistaken, my ponderous one,” she said as she fiddled with the pleat of her kirtle where it crossed her knee. “Didn't I provide the dragons? Didn't I get you the sacks of seed?”

  “Razzmorten could certainly capsize our market...”

  “He's not the bloomin' king.”

  “No, he's King Hebraun's father-in-law and court wizard. And he's convinced Hebraun that sukere's dangerous enough to distribute broadsheets about it to the entire country. He's going to have the public decide by a show of arms whether to ban it or not.

  And I've just come from giving Razzmorten a little incentive to accept the sukere trade in Niarg.”

  “How did you do that?”

  “I burnt all of his hay and wheat at Peach Knob,” he said, lunging to his feet in triumph to turn a circle and lie down again. “And I also set fire to every single one of his peach and apple trees. I made sure that his hired hands knew it was me. And if Niarg forbids sukere, I won't stop until all their fields are in flames.”

  “Oh that's wonderful, dear,” she said, crossing her legs the other way. “Something nice for Razzmorten. Of course you realize that he'll probably kill you for your efforts if you keep going, don't you?”

  “Why?” rumbled Razorback with a smoky snort.

  “Why? You mean some part of this is beyond your huge grasp? Correct me if I'm mistaken, dear, but the last I knew, you'd misplaced your Great Staff in the woods, somewhere between my dragons and your keep. Now, I realize that you still have the Heart, but without the Staff, just how could you ever use it? Just what will you do if he ever comes after you? It is his very doing which keeps you in this form, isn't it?”

  “That has nothing to do with it. We're twins, in case you've forgotten, and after years with the Heart and the Staff, I'm afraid I have the advantage. There's no point in his sending anyone else. No one else would be the threat he would be. But he's no match, no match at all. If he comes after me, Niarg will have to give in.”

  “It seems you have it all worked out dear, though in my ignorance I do wonder what would happen if he changes you back. He wouldn't need to be a dragon slayer then.”

  “No, just a brother killer, and he simply doesn't have what it takes.”

  Demonica's eyes darted quickly over his great bulk, arrows and all. “If you say so, dear,” she said.

  ***

  A vesper sparrow called from a cherry tree in the hedge by the road as clouds in the west pointed their glowing bellies after the vanished sun. A unicorn rider galloped by, standing in the stirrups in the failing light as he vanished down the hill beyond, carrying the sound of hooves after him. A whip-poor-will was calling from the jut of woods at the top of the next rise. It grew loud as the rider hammered by, and then faded into the distance behind him. Cows bawled.

  There were starting to be houses by the way, and soon he was pounding the road with a clatter that echoed as he wound between houses which now crowded together. The portcullis was still up when he came to the castle. No one stepped out in front of him, so he rode hard for the inner gate and across the inner ward. Tying up his unicorn with frantic fingers, he ran for the tower door and up the gently winding steps, stumbling here and there in the dark as he climbed. At last, he steadied himself against a door six storeys up and pounded. “Nudd!” said Razzmorten, opening the door with wide eyes. “What's wrong? Come in.”

  Nudd bobbed and heaved, struggling to say something with his dry mouth. “There's been a fire...” he gasped.

  “What? The house? One of the barns?”

  Nudd shook his head. “The last hay cutting,” he panted. “Every haycock in the field...”

  “On fire?”

  “One big dragon, at least the size of an elephant, and not a feather on him. He burnt the hay and every shock of wheat we had standing...”

  “Was anyone hurt?”

  Nudd shook his head.

  “Were any of the buildings...?”

  Nudd shook his head. “He burnt every last tree in the orchard,” he said, “And we tried everything we dared. When he vanished, he had better than half our arrows sticking in him, and he scared the daylights out of us. Made our very hair stand up...”

  “Vanished? How do you mean?”

  “Right into thin air, a-laughing as he went. It was as scary as when he was bellowing at us, if you know what I mean. And he actually said 'Granddad's peaches.' I heard him!”

  “Razzorbauch!” said Razzmorten, walking a tight circle with his hands behind his head. “Nothing's happened to Enid and Yvain, right?”

  “They were scared as I was. They're a-standing guard at the Knob, right now. We could sure use some help. We're all ready for him if he comes back, but if he does, he could do neigh anything with us he wants, in spite of our bows. What we need is Sir Chester to tilt the beast, if he'd come. He's jousting champion. He's got more nerve than anyone.”

  “I would guess it's safe to go home,” he said, hurrying to get his staff and hat. “I'd expect the dragon's done all he's going to for now. I'm glad you came. I've got to tell Minuet and King Hebraun this minute, but I'll be down at Peach Knob for a look around in the morning.” He trotted down the stairs with Nudd and out under the stars in the inner ward, where he saw him off before hurrying to find Hebraun and Minuet. He found them in their apartment,
some time after Rose had gone to bed.

  “How would you know that it was Uncle Razzorbauch?” said Minuet.

  “The hands heard him say 'Granddad's peaches,'“ said Razzmorten as he took a chair. “I'm afraid that leaves no question.”

  “So do you suppose he's finally getting back at you for trapping him in that dragon spell which he meant for you?”

  “Why wait until now? I'd allow that Ugleeuh has shown him a broadsheet. I'd guess that he wants to let me know that a law against sukere is going to be right dangerous for the people who pass it. And I expect that he even knows that I was the very one who told you about the hazards of sukere. I told Ugleeuh that I was when I saw her this morning, so it may be a choice of whether he burns crops all over Niarg, or whether he comes back to burn down Peach Knob.”

  “No!” said Minuet.

  “Well, I'd bet he goes after everybody's crops,” he said with a glance at Hebraun. “After all, if everybody passes a law, then he's going to make sure that everybody's sorry it happened.”

  “So then what?”

  “Well, we stop him. And to hear Nudd tell it, he and the hands are jumping up and down certain that they want the dashing jousting champion, Sir Chester, to help defend Peach Knob. So if all of Niarg wants rid of Razzorbauch, I'll bet we hear about him again.”

  “And if the citizens of Niarg don't want a law against sukere?” said Hebraun as he idly held the back of Minuet's hand against his cheek.

  “Yea,” said Minuet. “You suppose Razzorbauch would back off?”

  “Fates forbid!” said Razzmorten. “Don't even think it. You need to see the condition Gwael's in from sukere.”

  “Well then your spell,” said Minuet. “What about that?”

  Razzmorten went silent, stroking his beard as he stared at the drapes by the balcony doors, lifting gently into the room with the ebb and swell of the fragrant spring breeze. “That might be an idea,” he said at last. “What do you think, Hebraun?”

  “What? You mean take away his dragon spell? I'm listening. You're the one with the powers.”

  “Well, I don't think that there's any choice but for me to go and find him.”