Heart of the Staff - Complete Series

by Carol Marrs Phipps

  “It doesn't look like that's going to be easy,” he said, staring at the shackled skeleton in the corner. “Look at that fellow.”

  “I saw. How could I keep from it? The Gobblers told me that's what happens to the uncooperative slaves.”

  “Slaves?” said Lukus. “They fancy us as their slaves? Didn't you tell them who we are? They surely wouldn't enslave royalty.”

  “Swine aren't impressed by details. I told them, and they thought it was hilarious. If anything, the idea of having a prince and princess as slaves pleased them immensely.”

  “Wonderful,” he said as he sat in the foul, dusty straw. “They're treating us like livestock.

  “Hey, what about money?” he said, brightening. “Let's tell the Gobblers that our parents will gladly pay them handsomely for our safe return. They might just save us a lot of trouble and take us straight home.”

  “Shush!” hissed Rose, as the jingling tramp of feet in the hallway halted just outside. Their cell door clanked and swung open with a bang as five ruddy, stern faced little soldiers motioned for them to come along. Seeing that they had no choice, they complied at once.

  It was difficult walking down the narrow corridor. The floor sagged in the center along its length, serving as an open sewer for the cells. They stumbled and tottered as they walked, slipping on excrement and filth left by the rats. Each time they lost their balance, they were shouted at and mercilessly jerked to their feet by the soldiers. Rose shivered in the dankness, marveling in fear at the length of the passage.

  “Hey!” said Lukus. “Just where are you taking us?”

  The Gobbler in front, whose stench he'd breathed since they'd set out, wheeled and planted his spear point in his row of buttons. He halted, staggering backwards to avoid being impaled.

  “Why, the king wants to view his prizes!” barked the Gobbler, bathing Lukus's face with his foul, spittle flecked breath. “He's never had such high-class folks as slaves before.”

  Rose gave Lukus's ribs a sharp poke to prod him into thinking before he said more.

  “Hey!” yelped Lukus, jerking aside. “Am I just to let him get away with that?”

  “Absolutely, dear heart. We're not exactly in a position of strength here,” she said in a shushing voice, as the Gobblers erupted into laughter. Spear point turned on his heel and tramped on, as Rose and Lukus were abruptly shoved into motion.

  “Just please be cooperative,” whispered Rose, the moment she found the soldiers far enough ahead and behind. “At least pretend to be submissive until we can figure a way out of this. These little pigs aren't faking their nastiness, and we're in a good deal of danger. Don't get us killed.”

  “Sorry Rose. Until you say otherwise,” he grinned.

  He was not taking her seriously enough. But the moment she drew a breath to have another go at him, they were prodded into a large windowless room with a low ceiling, kept well lit with rows upon endless rows of perpetually tended candles. In spite of its filth and crudeness, Rose and Lukus recognized at once that they had entered the throne room of the Gobbler king. A few feet from the throne, they were shoved to their knees. Before them sat the bloated little king. His long red beard danced across his dirt streaked watermelon tummy as he clapped his sticky little hands in rollicking glee.

  “Rise,” he commanded in a shockingly deep voice. “I am King Greedigut.” He paused to wad into his mouth a fistful of large marshmallows. He gulped them down, giving them several frothy champs with his black, spiky teeth before grabbing another fistful with each hand. As a string of milky-white drool cascaded like a spider to his belly, he worked the next marshmallows into his mouth. “Yef. Yeth,” he sputtered between smacking groans. “Count Spoyal was quite right. These are right fine specimens. He shall be amply rewarded for the capture of such magnificent slaves. Look 'ee at the muscles on that young man. He'll give us more work than any...” He suddenly looked down as an even larger string of drool landed on his belly. He scooped it up with his forefinger. On the way to his mouth he rammed his little finger into his nose, pulling forth a green strand which he shamelessly put into his mouth alongside the white drool. “He'll give us more work than any ten of our other slaves by the time he's grown. Why, he may even exceed the production of that little dragon, what's-her-name. Lizzie. Yes. All the better for the marshmallow plantation. Be advised to feed him well,” he said sternly, turning to the guard standing beside him. “He's valuable to me.”

  The guard nodded, giving a fearful sidelong glance at Lukus.

  Greedigut turned to Rose. She did not like in the least his leering at her, which amused him mightily. “My, my! Aren't you a pretty little thing,” he said with a lewd chortle, as he ran his tongue along his fiery red gums. “I'm surprised some handsome prince hasn't swept you off your dainty feet, by now. But that's my gain, isn't it? I've been searching these livelong years for just the right woman to sit at my side as my queen. And here you are. We shall be married today at sunset.” He happily crammed into his mouth two fists full of marshmallows at this, as he rocked back and forth, clapping his sticky palms.

  Rose went stark white. She'd expected to be sentenced to the scullery or to be a maid in waiting but not this. King Greedigut beamed at her silence. He took her hand and patted it with his plump, sticky mitt. “I know you're speechless, my dear,” he bubbled. “Perhaps you'd like to bathe and freshen up before our wedding? I'm sure that you'd be better able to grasp your newly exalted position once you've cleaned up and unwound from your ordeal in the goo pit.”

  “Indeed my lord, you do honor me greatly,” said Rose, pulling her hand away as slowly as she could tolerate. “But I'm afraid I can't possibly marry you, for I'm already betrothed to Prince James of Loxmere.”

  King Greedigut went livid with rage. He stamped his foot, springing to his feet. “You will do as I command!” he thundered. “You're in my kingdom and what I say here is law! You're not married to Prince James of Lala! You will be my queen! Even if you were married already, you'd still be my queen or die! I decree it! If you refuse, your brother will die with you! Take them to the dungeon until this girl has sense!”

  When Rose and Lukus were out of sight, Greedigut sat back on his throne consoling himself with furious hands full of marshmallows. A guard appeared to announce a visitor. “I'll have no visitors at this time!” he bellowed. “Tell whomever 'tis to be gone! Now!”

  “But Your Majesty! I think...”

  King Greedigut sprang to his feet and flung his marshmallow scepter at the guard, hitting him square in the mouth, splitting both lips and knocking out his front teeth.

  The guard grabbed his mouth and stumbled backwards with blood dripping from between his fingers onto the marble floor. As you command, sire,” he sputtered, bowing and bobbing as he hurriedly backed out of the throne room.

  Greedigut watched the guard's departure with a squint eyed scowl, breathing with fuming hisses through his nose. He flopped onto his throne to soothe himself with a fistful of marshmallows from a huge silver tureen. He had just worked up a nice milky drool at the corners of his mouth when a tumultuous gush of air whirled through the room, scattering papers and extinguishing every single candle, leaving him sitting in the dark. “Guards!” he hollered, gripping the arms of his throne. “What on earth? Where'd this draft come from? There's never been a draft in here, ever! Guards!” No one answered. Every hair on his neck stood up.

  Without warning, a torch was thrust into his face, blinding him. He flung up his beefy hands with such a jerk that it toppled his throne onto its side, dumping him into the marshmallows and onto the floor. He scrambled to stand and heave his chair upright, only to stumble on the overturned tureen, falling flat on his face. A cackling laugh rang out.

  “Who's there?” he whimpered, fearfully getting up on all fours. He sat up on his haunches, daring a peek between his fingers. “Ugleeuh! he gasped, yanking his belly off the floor as he flew to his feet to stand, straight as a rod.

  “You should sit down
,” cackled Ugleeuh. “You just might have an apoplectic seizure.”

  Greedigut made a mad scramble, heaving upright his coronary chair. He franticly clambered up and melted into it like a boneless jelly. “You certainly make an entrance, Ugleeuh,” he said, wiping his hand across his sweating brow.

  “Well It's your own fault, Greedigut,” she growled as she lit a half dozen nearby candles with a snap of her fingers. “Sending that guard to tell me to disappear! You're lucky I'm in a generous mood today, or I'd be enjoying your extended death throes this minute.”

  “I had no idea it was you, Ugleeuh,” he said, shrinking further back into his cushions. “I swear it.”

  Absolutely. You're 'way too much of a worm to have dared something like that, had you known.”

  “Yes, yes! That's right!”

  “Very well. Now that that's settled, don't think of letting it happen again or you'll be the fattest gargoyle you have, up gathering buzzard droppings on top of your castle.”

  “Never. No way. But just what is it that I did, which I'll never do again?”

  “Idiot!” she roared. “You mean to tell me you're too thick witted to recognize your own scummery?”

  “Yes! By all means! I am, I am! So what...? Oh, you have my word, it'll never ever happen again!” he whimpered with a cringe. “But oh please, please, please, what did I do? Why have you honored me with your presence?” He gave his arm a furtive thrust out to the side to grope in the air for his marshmallows, only to give a plaintive squeal at the recollection of having stepped in them.

  “You, the pinnacle imbecile of the Marshmallow Marshes and Chocolate Swamp, have grabbed my very niece and nephew, Rose and Lukus. You hold them captive. I want them back. Now!” she thundered with such fury that the gong across the room was left humming. Again she snapped her fingers, lighting another score of the room's candles.

  “Oh absolutely! Of course! Of course! You shall most certainly have them back, immediately! I didn't know they were your kin, Great One. Had I only some idea, I would have sent them off to you forthwith, you can be sure about that.”

  “Yea? Well what exactly do you think you're doing sitting there, instead of taking me to them? Dare you contemplate insolence?”

  “Never! Never!” babbled Greedigut, stumbling off his throne on his way to the dungeon, careening into things in the dark as he went.

  Rose had her back to the door, but Lukus spied Ugleeuh and Greedigut through the small barred window as they approached. “Rose!” he called out in a hoarse whisper. The door unlatched with a clank.

  “No!” she wailed in despair, as she shrank away from the door.

  “Get away from us, you old hag!” said Lukus, stepping in front of Rose.

  “So. This is how the two of you improve things for yourselves, is it?” said Ugleeuh. “My! I guess that by now, you surely recognize that the only possible route home is by way of me. Well I know you want to get there, so come along. As soon as we clear up any misunderstandings between us, I'll see that you are safely returned to Niarg.”

  “What's happened?” said Rose.

  “Hey Rose,” said Lukus. “You know she's a liar.”

  “Yea?” said Ugleeuh, thrusting her face at his. “And she knows you for the rash brat that you happen to be. You're dead unless you get out of here, or haven't you noticed? And it doesn't matter whether you believe me or not, since your only chance of living is to come with me now.”

  Rose and Lukus exchanged a look of helpless defeat, and at once followed her out of the Gobbler castle.

  “Well,” said Rose, as she stepped across a rivulet of sewage in the dungeon walkway, “at least I won't have to marry that stunted fat pe-utrid little king.”

  “Yea?” said Lukus. “Our chances might have been just as good if you had.”

  “Had she done that, boy,” said Ugleeuh without turning around, in a tone that made him shudder, “neither one of you would've lasted more than a very few weeks.”

  They walked out of the castle and far into the marsh in total silence. In spite of it being overcast, it seemed blindingly bright after having been inside. Away across the fens two chocolate bitterns traded calls. Here and there marsh wrens spoke in squeaky rattles before flitting ahead to another lookout in the grass. Each time Rose or Lukus tried to say something, Ugleeuh put her finger to her lips and shushed them. As they reached the marsh's forested end, Ugleeuh stopped short, straining to hear something. The posture reminded Lukus of Fuzz, making him miss the bear terribly. “Wonder where ol' Leather Lips has her broom?” he thought.

  On they walked, with Ugleeuh not allowing a word to be spoken, as she stopped periodically to listen. As they came upon the very first far flung grove of peppermint trees she stopped, straining to see. At once she motioned excitedly and plunged ahead into the heart of the grove.

  “Man!” thought Lukus. “I've not seen her that cheery since she first thought Rose was her daughter.”

  Without warning, she halted so abruptly that Rose and Lukus both stumbled into her. Lukus was about to let fly an irritated remark when he looked ahead. “Fuzz!” he shouted. He and Rose ran to him at once, nearly toppling him with their joyful hugs.

  Rose looked aside and gasped. The dragon from the chocolate volcano was sitting on the very spot where Ugleeuh had just been, watching them with keen interest. Ugleeuh was nowhere to be seen. The dragon gave a benign smile and a shrug as he exchanged a look with Fuzz. Before anyone managed to speak, the sound of enormous wings seized their attention overhead. Rose immediately recognized the immense pink bird as one of the marshmallow spoonbills which the Gobblers used to pull their carts. She could see something large upon its back as it circled once and swooped to a slow and dignified landing before them. It cleared its throat as it bowed, carefully settling first one wing then the other.

  “I have been sent by King Greedigut to return the packs you left at his castle,” said the spoonbill, as though he were reading a pronouncement to a multitude. “They were overlooked on your departure, and he apologizes for any inconvenience that their omission may have caused you.” He paused to peer under one wing and then turned back to the company with a candid tone: “I am an expert with tapioca and polliwogs, but buckles just give me fits. Do you mind?” Lukus snapped to at this and undid the packs, whereupon the spoonbill bowed and took flight at once.

  “So where's Ugleeuh?” said Rose the moment the spoonbill was beyond hearing. “What's going on?”

  “Right there,” said Fuzz, nodding at Spark.

  Rose gave a gasp of despairing astonishment, as Lukus collapsed to his haunches to put his head in his hands.

  “Oh mercy no Rose,” said Fuzz. “That's not Ugleeuh. That's the real Spark. Who knows where she is.”

  “But why did she bring us here? How did she get away, just like...?”

  “It was a glamourie Rose, Spark's glamourie,” said Fuzz. “Spark has some magical powers of his own. It was he who got you out of Greedigut's keep.”

  “So that's why you had no broom. I've scarcely seen Ugleeuh outdoors without it.” said Lukus, as he and Rose rushed to Spark, overcome with joy. Spark beamed with humble triumph. This was the first he'd been hugged by anyone at all for aeons.

  After quite a spell of glorious dancing relief, Rose and Lukus turned to their packs. “Well, I guess old Greedigut was scared witless or he'd probably have kept these just to be nasty,” said Rose.

  “No kidding,” said Lukus. “Especially after you jilted him the way you did, Rose.”

  Rose gave him a shove, sending him into a giddy stumble.

  “Whatever are you talking about, Lukus?” said Fuzz with an astonished look.

  “Oh it's quite a story. Greedigut went gaga over Rose and wanted to marry her. Can you believe it?”

  “Lukus! I'm surprised at you,” said Fuzz. “Anyone would find your sister attractive enough to want to marry her. It doesn't become you to tease her about such things. I'm well aware that siblings don't see each other in ter
ms of attraction, but it's not proper to suggest that your sister could not attract a mate.”

  “I'm really sorry, Rose,” said Lukus, addressing the toes of his boots. He had come to regard Fuzz with great admiration, and this upbraiding had turned him positively crimson. “You're my sister. I'm not supposed to notice that you're pretty.”

  “I accept your apology, Lukus,” she said. “Do you really think I'm pretty?”

  “Yea, of course. You're more pretty than anyone I've ever seen, except maybe Soraya. But, doggone it,” he said, flinging a rock off into the weeds. “You're embarrassing me. And if you tell anyone at home, I'll deny it.”

  “That would make me sound like I was bragging. Besides, who in Niarg would believe me?”

  “Well, now that all of that is settled,” said Fuzz with a sigh of relief as he clapped his hands onto his knees and stood up, “I expect we'd better make camp. It's much too late to get all the way through the marsh before sunset.”

  Rose and Lukus set to work at once.

  “So, Spark,” said Fuzz. “I expect you'll be heading back to your den in the morning?”

  “If it's all the same to you Fuzz, I'd like to tag along with you on your little adventure. There's someone in the swamp I've not seen for quite a spell, whom I greatly miss. This would give me the chance for a much longed for reunion and give you and me a chance to do some catching up ourselves.”

  “Splendid. We'd love to have you along,” said Fuzz, puzzled at the idea that Spark would be anxious to see anyone at all in the swamp. “And I'm most curious to hear more about what went on inside the Gobbler castle when you showed up as old Frightface.”

  “I hope I never have to do anything like that again,” said Spark as a shudder ran through him. “Truth to tell, it pretty well sapped me. And it was scary because I wasn't sure if I had the strength to keep it up as long as I needed. I kept waiting for my glamourie to fade out, giving me away to the Gobblers. You know they would've gotten me.”

  “The final curtain, for sure.”