Heart of the Staff - Complete Series

by Carol Marrs Phipps

  “And they were?” said Lipperella, smiling with her penetrating gaze. “You have me captivated, dear.”

  “Sir Chester was Niarg's hero jouster, and Razorback was supposed to have made short work of him because Ugleeuh had charmed him into becoming a sukere addict. Mother was convinced that Father would get killed if he went after Razorback, so she had been demanding that he send Grandfather, since he could use magic.

  “So when Grandfather showed up, I'm pretty sure that he told her that he'd prepared an enchanted sword that only needed for Father to fling it at Razorback. It would find the mark and do the slaying all by itself. That is indeed what Father used. The other thing was that Razorback was actually Razzorbauch, Grandfather's twin brother...”

  “No!” said Lipperella, sitting up straight with a wide-eyed gasp.

  “Well, of course that's why Father went instead of Grandfather Razzmorten. Grandfather simply couldn't bring himself to kill his own brother.”

  “No wonder Razorback was so stinking awful,” said Lipperella as she sat back and stared out into nowhere. At last, she drew out a small file and began dressing the contours of her talons. “That's quite a true tale you carry around, girl. Razzorbauch was the stinker's stinker. He's most of the reason for dragons loathing humans in the first place. Hooee! Can you imagine? This temple was built by dragons to worship the most hated of all humans. No wonder Razorback struck me wrong every time I looked at him.”

  “After Father brought him down with the enchanted sword, Razorback told him that his very own children would use sukere in spite of his wishes. Anyway, that's all I remember. I hope it helps, Lipperella.”

  “Well, your little piece of news sure explains a lot that never has made sense to me over the years.”

  “Like what?” said Lukus.

  “Things like this are obvious, now,” said Lipperella. “I mean, why would Razzorbauch just vanish without a trace just as Razorback shows up? I just wasn't awake. How about the eerie personality resemblance between the two? I even saw that one. But I didn't come close to catching on. And the rest of the clan certainly didn't see it. After Razorback appeared, he filled the clan with vengeance and hatred. The peace-loving nature which had been our heritage for aeons was thoroughly overturned by his sly control. Spark here, is the last one of us who is like the way we all used to be. If you want to know how dragons were meant to be, then look at him.

  “Well,” she said, suddenly standing up. “It's late. Let me fetch your things from the isthmus so you can eat before you sleep. Please stay exactly here while I'm gone. I'll return before you know it.” And with that, she vanished into the tunnel which they came in by.

  “Well Spark,” said Lukus the moment she was gone. “She's obviously as taken with you as you are with her. I reckon you two will raise a new clan of proper, peaceful dragons.”

  “I'd love it of course, Lukus,” said Spark with a self conscious smile,” but it's not quite so simple.”

  “What's the problem? You like her. She likes you. What else do you need?”

  Spark looked at Fuzz as if he would come to his rescue.

  Fuzz rolled his eyes and shook his head.

  “For one thing Lukus,” said Spark with a sigh. “The entire clan's after us, and even if they take what Lipperella tells them about Razorback, they still hate every single human for their capture and enslavement. And here I am, traveling with two humans. And I'm still just plain fireless, the very reason I was exiled by the clan in the first place. How could I make her put up with that? No. No matter how strong and true my love for her may be, she's out of my reach.” He finished with a look of despair.

  “Shame on you!” cried Rose, springing to her feet. “You've been mooning over her the whole way from the Gobblers. Now here she is, telling us that you're better than any other dragon she knows, and what are you going to do about it? Walk away and never give her the chance to tell you what she wants! Did you ever stop to think that your thoughtfulness just might break her heart? What right do you have to do that, if I may ask?”

  “I haven't had such a scolding since I last saw Ugleeuh,” he said, hanging his head. “But at least I can see that you're doing it out of kindness.”

  Rose stood with her fists on her hips, making sure that neither Fuzz nor Lukus had any intention of coming to his rescue.

  “So you think I should tell Lipperella how I feel and let her decide?”

  “You're a fool if you don't,” said Rose, not budging.

  “And you two agree with her?” he said, looking from Fuzz to Lukus.

  They each gave wide-eyed nods.

  “All right,” he said. “I'll do it then, but I hope you all know what you're talking about.”

  At the sound of Lipperella returning with the bags, everyone fell silent.

  “If you want me to leave again so you can finish discussing me,” she said, looking at their faces, “just tell me.”

  “No need,” said Spark. “Everyone was just giving me some advice.”

  “Advice?” said Lipperella.

  “Yes exactly,” said Spark, squirming noticeably. “In fact, I'll tell you about it later. But it would be best if we had some privacy when I do.”

  “I think that can be arranged,” she said radiantly.

  ***

  “So, this is where you've lived for the past eighteen years, isn't it?” said Spitemorta as she stepped inside of Ugleeuh's cottage.

  “I was too quick to return her speech,” thought Ugleeuh. “So,” she growled, “you think this lowly cabin is beneath you, aye girl?”

  “This hovel is beneath both of us, Mother. Why do you live in it? You're an exceptionally powerful sorceress. You could create an opulent castle for yourself. So why this?”

  “Sit dear,” said Ugleeuh with a nod across the table as she took a chair. “This cabin is my amusement, girl. And it's far more comfortable for me than any grandiose castle could ever be. Look about. Who do you see here?”

  Spitemorta stared at her and blinked. “What kind of question is this?” she said. “There's not a soul here but you and me.”

  “Exactly so. And before you arrived, I was here, and you were not here. How would you like being the only living soul in a castle, no matter how grand or luxurious that keep might be? Wouldn't every step down its corridors remind you that you were utterly alone? Wouldn't the echoes of your voice in its grand halls chill you to the bone, reminding you of your utter isolation?”

  “But you're powerful. You could use your magic to fill your castle with as many amusing beings as you wish.”

  “Do you think I'd not know that my court was nothing more than a bunch of illusions? Just how do you seriously think I would take my make-believe beings? How could I triumph over their will if they had none of their own?”

  “So what?” said Spitemorta. “What counts is that you live up to your station in life. You don't want to look lowly to the outside world.”

  “Inside this forest, girl, there is no outside world.”

  Spitemorta opened her mouth and shut it.

  “Good. Now let's get down to why you sought me out and why King Brutelee and Queen Bee allowed it, shall we?”

  “I've come to learn how to use the magical abilities I inherited from you. The worthless hedge wizards and court magicians in Goll have no knowledge to offer which I've not already long learnt. The daughter of the most powerful sorceress and granddaughter of the greatest wizard on the continent ought to have the best possible instructor, wouldn't you agree?”

  “So, your grandfather refused you, aye?” she said with a soft cackle.

  “I never gave him the chance.”

  “Right.”

  “You'll teach me, then?”

  “Yea, maybe,” she said with a nod, “but there's a pressing matter here in the forest which is demanding all my attention. It'll have to be resolved before I can take on anything else.”

  “You certainly can't expect me to sit here and wait as you put your affairs in or
der,” said Spitemorta, as a fiery flicker shot across her face and vanished. “I do have a country to run, after all.”

  “What had happened to the Brutlee and Bee?”

  “Nothing they didn't deserve. What does it matter? They're out of the picture.”

  “And did you have anything to do with their demise, girl?”

  “I had everything to do with it. What did you expect from your daughter?”

  “I'd not got that far yet, but I'd expect exactly that, I suppose.”

  “So, what could possibly be so important in these woods that you must delay your only daughter's magical training in order to attend to it? Particularly when that daughter is a queen with an entire country of her own to attend to?”

  “Presumptuous tart, aren't you?” said Ugleeuh with a laugh. “You think you're the center of the universe and you come here to my domain and assume that nothing could be as important as what you want. Foolish girl. You're nothing but a teensy player in a very large game, and if you're not more careful, you could find yourself eliminated from it altogether. Do you even begin to understand?”

  “Yes Mother,” she said politely, at least grasping how it was with respect to Ugleeuh.”

  “That would be a start,” said Ugleeuh, as she thought: “Yes, I think I'll be able to work with her quite well.”

  Spitemorta kept silent.

  “You need to go back to Goll. My business here should be done in a fortnight. If I don't come to see you by then, wait two more days, then come here to the cottage.”

  “Certainly, though I thought you were confined here in this forest.”

  “That's about to change, my dear.”

  Spitemorta was stunned. “I'm afraid I'm not versed in even the simplest of traveling spells, nor do I have a magical broom,” she said. “Would you mind teaching me just one or two, and perhaps an invisibility spell so that I won't just suddenly appear out of thin air and frighten people, if you know what I mean?”

  “I have no idea what you mean. Your reason utterly escapes me. However, if you can catch on the first time, it wouldn't hurt to teach you a spell before you go. But I don't have time for this, so let's be quick. If you're worth my time, you should be able to catch on right away.”

  Spitemorta gave a nod.

  And Ugleeuh said: “Let's begin.”

  ***

  Hubba Hubba flew in through Razzmorten's tower window and settled on his perch with a confident, crisp snap of his shimmering green feathers. He sorted through first one wing and then the other before looking up at Razzmorten, who had just stepped in.

  “Hey, Wiz! You're up,” he said. “Good morning. It's a bea-utiful day outside. The sky's the deepest blue and it's dotted here and there with these really puffy little white clouds, and the sun's shining, and the birds are... Hey! Why are you looking at me like that? You used to scold me for being grouchy in the mornings. So now, when I actually have reason for good cheer, you give me that dopey looking smile, like you're having to be tolerant of me for some reason.”

  “I think you misread me, Hubba Hubba. I'm delighted to see you in such good humor this morning. It is quite a surprise, since I've not seen you this way before. May I assume that your new appearance has met with favor by Pebbles?”

  “Better'n that, Wiz. She said it wasn't necessary to wear an illusion for her. She said she already knew about what Ugleeuh did to me, and that it was what's inside of me that matters to her. She also said I'm truly magnificent as a parrot, but I'd always be the same wonderful... Hey, hey! Her words, not mine... wonderful bird, even if I did look like a crow. Ain't that somethin'?”

  “My, that is something,” said Razzmorten. “So, does this mean the two of you will be scouring the orchard for nest holes soon?”

  “Not quite yet, Wiz,” he said, flashing his new orange irises. “You see, I think Pebbles deserves more than a mate who is merely a parrot on the inside. And I think she deserves more than one who is a parrot on the inside with only the illusion of being one on the outside, too.”

  “I'm sorry, Hubba Hubba,” said Razzmorten, “but I have to stand by what I originally told you. I simply can't be the person who changes you back into a parrot. It would be far too dangerous.”

  “Of course, Wiz. I wasn't going to ask that of you.”

  “So, what were you leading up to?”

  “Since you believe I'm now fit for the flight, I think it's time for me to return to the Peppermint Forest and confront Ugleeuh. Of course, it would probably be best if you removed the parrot glamour before I go. She despises parrots, don't ye know.” He glared at his ex-slaves as they peeped out of their nests and exchanged looks amongst themselves.

  “I think I understand your reasoning, and you do seem fit enough,” said Razzmorten, thoughtfully rubbing his chin. “Do you truly think it's necessary, all things considered? After all, didn't you just tell me that it doesn't matter to Pebbles if you look like a crow?”

  “But, don't you see?” said Hubba Hubba, ruffling his neck feathers with a shake. “It's precisely because she's so wonderfully accepting that I feel the need to give her my true self, inside and out.”

  “That's right noble of you, but you don't need to ask my permission. I'm not your master.”

  “Oh, I know that. That's not what I'm doing. I just want your opinion. Do you think I'm being crazy?”

  “No, Hubba Hubba,” said Razzmorten, clearing his throat. “I think you are being in love.”

  “Some think that's the same thing,” said Hubba Hubba.

  “Do you?”

  “I used to.”

  “And now?”

  “No.”

  “Good, then I'll wish you a good flight,” said Razzmorten, as he snapped his fingers.

  “Wow! Here I am, black again. Gee thanks. I guess I'll just be off then. The sooner I'm gone, the sooner I'll get back.”

  “Quite true,” said Razzmorten, as Hubba Hubba started to the window to launch himself.

  “Hey! You can't leave without us!” squeaked Chirp, wearing his flying harness.

  “We're going too!” tweeted Squeak, as he and Tweet appeared in their harnesses.

  “Hey fellows,” said Hubba-Hubba, “how 'bout your families? Besides, I don't need to be towed around in the air any more, so why the flying harnesses?”

  “You may not need to be towed around by us, but you sure as the pitkins need to return to the forest hooked up to three slave sparrows to keep Her Ugliness from blasting you out of the sky,” chirped Tweet. “Have you forgotten her vow to eliminate every single crow of the forest, once they started bothering you? Without us towing, she'll fry you on sight and never know it was you.”

  “No way she won't, either,” tweeted Squeak, “You don't look anything like she remembers.”

  “They're right, Wiz,” said Hubba Hubba. “If they don't go with me, I'll be nothing but cracklings for the scavengers. Guess you'd better haul out my old harness. It'll need a few new notches.”

  Razzmorten nodded and disappeared. Hubba Hubba gave the sparrows a one-eyed stare. “All right,” he said. “Once we get to Ugleeuh's and we can tell that she knows it's really me, you three slip off your harnesses and fly straight back here as fast as you can. Don't even stop to look back. Got it?” The sparrows gaped at their master turned friend and nodded with enthusiasm.

  “I did have to guess at some new notches,” said Razzmorten, as he reappeared. “This thing's just plain huge for you now. I've got new holes as far up the straps as I can, but it's still going to be so loose that one big yank from the sparrows would pull it off of you.”

  “I thought so,” said Hubba Hubba. “Thanks Wiz.”

  Razzmorten carefully hitched Hubba Hubba to the sparrows when they were done with their noisy farewell to their families, and set them onto the window sill. “I'll explain it all to Minuet. Don't worry,” he said as he handed out farewell scratches. “Just take care of yourselves and come right back to us.

  “Oh yes. I do have one little ques
tion. I'm sure you've figured this out. How are you going to handle Ugleeuh when she asks for Hebraun and Minuet's reply to her extortion letter?”

  “I'm dead!” said Hubba Hubba. “I'll turn the sparrows loose after she sees it's me, just in time for her to turn me into a sizzling grease spot. Can't you just see it? Now Ugleeuh, you just change me back to a double yellow head, and then I'll fly right back to Niarg for their answer. She'll be real gracious about that. She'll turn me right back into a parrot and then stretch my green and yellow hide up on her barn wall.”

  “You just may be on to something,” said Razzmorten.

  “Absolutely. Like her culinary opportunity for sweet and sour double yellow head. When do I start?”

  “I'm serious.”

  “So am I, Wiz. Who's on the menu here, anyway?”

  “Hubba Hubba. Nobody trusts Ugleeuh, right?”

  “I do. I trust her to reliably skin and cook.”

  “Since nobody trusts her, Niarg wouldn't either, right?”

  “Well...no.”

  “Don't you suppose Hebraun and Minuet are going to need some sort of show of good faith from her before they run the risk of her not keeping up her end of the bargain? I mean, since she has steadfastly deceived, how can they trust that she'll turn over Rose and Lukus when they set her free? They'll need to see something like her returning you as a parrot, completely unharmed, before you carry back their reply.”

  “Eureka! I could even sweeten the deal for the old bat by promising to spy on Niarg for her, and come back and tip off everyone about what she sends me back here to look for.”

  Razzmorten threw back his head and laughed until his eyes were all red and wrinkly. “Marvelous plan,” he said as he rubbed his eyes. “Such a charming way of handling her act of good faith.”

  “You're making fun of it.”

  “No, no. Not at all, Hubba Hubba. It is a right good plan. By all means go through with it. And I'll set about at once, writing a ransom note of our own, demanding her act of good faith by turning you back into a parrot in exchange for the House of Niarg's reply to her original demands.”