I walk through the jack-and-jill bathroom that connects my room to Hailey’s. I can feel Hailey’s hands finger-comb through my hair as she uses the heated straightener to smooth out my messy blond mane for prom. How she was able to transform my unruly hair into a sleek waterfall of platinum tresses is a miracle. It took her over an hour to fix my hair that night. I don’t recall how many times she burned her fingers. I just remember us laughing while she placed red flower clips that matched the color of my prom dress throughout my hair.
I look at my reflection in the bathroom mirror and remember seeing Hailey’s bruises for the first time as she got out of the shower. There is no shower curtain in here anymore, but I can still picture that morning as if was yesterday. I should have pushed her harder to talk to me. I shouldn’t have accepted her easy excuses about how she got the bruises and the burn mark. If I just would have opened my eyes, my sister would still be here with me now. Open your eyes, Elizabeth. I failed Hailey in so many ways. I failed so many people, not just my little sister but also my parents, my daughter, my three best friends. Christ almighty, being back in this house is devastating.
I leave the bathroom and walk into Hailey’s adjoining bedroom. Her bed is still here, the mattress stripped and bare. I climb on top of it and lay down. I close my eyes and I hear Hailey’s soft, sweet voice as she reads me one of her poems.
“I miss you so much, Hales. I’m so sorry. Please forgive me,” I weep into the mattress. I don’t fight it anymore. I give in and allow myself to feel everything, to remember everything. It hurts so goddamn much. The pain and the loss. I cry for my family and for myself. I cry for all the things I have lost. And as I expunge all of the desolation and loss in the form of wracking tears, something new weaves its way inside of me. It’s a feeling of calm and of hope. It’s a feeling of a new beginning in which my past is a part of me but is no longer an insurmountable burden.
Because, for the first time since that night or the night that my memories came back, the pain is no match for all of the love and laughter this house still holds. My life has been blessed with love. I had two wonderful parents who showed me every day how much they loved me. I had a kickass sister who I adored and who always had my back. Mom, Dad, and Hailey are still with me. I can feel them every day. I can feel their love. I have Jayson, Julien, and Ryder. My three best friends. My three princes. I have Ryder’s love and Fallon’s friendship. I will fight to fix my friendships with Jayson, Julien, Elijah, Meredith, and Trevor. I have Freda, Mitch, Faith, Randy, Brea, and Jamie. And even though I haven’t spoken to them in over a month, I know I have Daniel and Drew as well. And now, I have myself too. My journey with Fallon helped to heal most of what was broken inside of me. Being back in this house, I realize that love will always conquer hate. And my life is filled with so much love.
I take a deep breath and wipe my eyes with the sleeve of my coat. I startle a little when I notice Fallon standing in the doorway.
“I told them to stay out for a second while I came in to see how you were doing. I’m amazed they didn’t put up much of a fight. I figure we only have about a minute before they all barge inside.”
I half-heartedly chuckle. “I’m sure you’re right.”
Fallon eases himself down beside me on the bed and presses his forehead to mine.
“You okay, kitten?”
“I think so. Actually, yes. I am okay,” I sniffle, then make a decision. “Fallon, I want to buy the house. I want to fix it up. Make it a good place for another family to live in. This was a great house to grow up in. It needs to be filled with children and laughter again.”
“I’ll make a call.”
“I’m paying for it with my trust money.”
“We can discuss that later.” Of course he would say that.
“I’m serious, Fallon.”
“I know, kitten,” he says softly.
A random thought pops into my head. I’m emotionally exhausted from this whole day; first, dealing with Jayson, and then being back in this house. I’m no longer upset with Jayson for how he reacted when we talked. It’s my fault things are so confusing and messed up between us. He has every right to be angry with what I did. But right now, I want to tune everything out for a few hours. I need some time to regroup my thoughts.
“They used to have midnight bowling open on Thanksgiving night at Bowl-O-Rama. Want to get out of here and enjoy the rest of Thanksgiving?”
“Whatever you want.”
I give a tentative smile and Fallon smiles back. “Let’s get your back door boarded up first.”
“Sorry about that. I went a little Terminator on it.”
“That was pretty fucking righteous watching you bust it down. If I said it turned me on and I got a huge boner, would you threaten to knee me in the balls again?”
For the first time today, I laugh out loud. “No, your balls are safe from my knee. I would say you need therapy.”
“You and me both, kitten.”
“I’m already in therapy. Want to join me?”
Fallon doesn’t answer. Instead, he hugs me.
I feel the bed dip and two more strong arms come around me. I don’t have to see who it is to know that it’s Ryder. His gorgeous masculine scent envelops me as much as his arms do. Ryder kisses the top of my right shoulder then rests his chin on it.
Jayson comes through the bedroom door next and squats down on his haunches in front of me. He takes my hands in his and holds on. Julien doesn’t come inside to join us. He’s standing in the hallway looking unsure.
I scan Hailey’s room one last time. I’ve done what I needed to do. I slowly stand and walk downstairs, the guys trailing behind me. When I reach the kitchen, I turn around one last time and say goodbye. As I walk away, I leave Old Elizabeth behind for good.
Chapter 17
“Jules, stop being a pussy and come to lunch.”
Julien pokes his head out of the open fridge and glowers at me. “I’m not being a pussy. I’m pissed. There’s a difference. And why do you want to go so damn bad? You hate Fallon.”
“Not going for Fallon.”
Jules crosses his arms and pouts like a petulant five-year-old. “She left us. She promised me she would never leave again, and she left. I’m not ready to forgive her.”
I stayed up all night thinking about what Liz said. She thought I wasn’t paying attention, but I heard every damn word that came out of her gorgeous mouth. I still think it’s bullshit. I don’t know what voodoo Fallon has over her, but clearly his claws have dug deep into my girl. I’m the one who’ll have to clip them. She can try and convince herself that night was a mistake, that she wants to be with Ryder, but I know it’s all a lie. Liz is just scared. I need to prove to her that she can trust me, that I am the man who will protect her heart and love her for the rest of her life. My plan had been working too—like that night in the hospital when she thought I was going to kiss her, or when I gave her the heart pendant of our daughter. She kissed me as we sat on the kitchen floor. When her memories came back, I was the one she ran to, the one she couldn’t get enough of. My Liz was back.
“Fine, Jules, have it your way. If you change your mind, you know where we’ll be.”
I grab my keys and wallet and head out to my truck. I look over at her house. It took us an hour to board up the back door yesterday. When we were done, Liz left with Ryder and Fallon. Julien and I went back home where we got questioned by our parents about Liz for the rest of the evening. It wasn’t fun. This Thanksgiving sucked ass. To top it all off, I was woken up this morning by a work crew who came and installed a new back door and frame at Liz’s house. I had only gotten a couple hours of sleep because I couldn’t stop thinking about her. It kind of freaked me out seeing her so out of control, wielding the bat like a sledgehammer and then kicking the door in. Liz never acted like that before. She also never used to hit people, but I’ve been the recipient of her punches and slaps twice now; once when I barged into her apartment, and then yesterday.
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br /> When I park my truck in front of Ruby’s, I see Liz through the front glass window. She has her hair up in one of her favorite messy buns. I used to take great pleasure in pulling out her hair band, mesmerized by how her pale blond locks fell around her shoulders. I could spend hours threading my fingers through her silken hair. The older she gets, the more beautiful she becomes. Sometimes it hurts to look at her, she is that stunning. I watch as Ryder leans over and kisses Liz, and my teeth clench. Those should be my lips on hers, not his. Then Fallon says something that has Liz throwing her head back and laughing. It’s impossible not to notice the special dynamic between the three of them. It’s like what she, Julien, and I used to have. That special bond, the closeness, the familiarity. I miss it. I miss her. She was my sunshine and I’ve been stuck in the darkness for far too long. It’s time I open the curtains to let the light back in. It’s time I got my girl back.
I open the diner door and head to their booth. Liz is the first to see me and her smile does wonders to brighten my mood. It’s as if our fight yesterday never happened. She taps Ryder on his arm, and he stands up so she can slide out of the booth.
She smiles at me. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Wouldn’t miss seeing you for the world. Besides, it was my idea,” I reply and press a lingering kiss to her cheek, causing her to blush. Fallon coughs out an “asshole” under his breath beside me.
“Is Julien coming?” I shake my head no and her smile falls. “Oh.”
“Don’t worry, princess. He’ll come around. Have you ordered yet?”
“We were waiting for you.”
Liz slides back in the booth and I quickly follow, leaving Ryder standing there, then having to sit across from us with Fallon, where he belongs.
“What’s up, Ry?” I casually throw his way. I catch the muscle twitch in his cheek.
“Hey, man.”
“What’s up, fucker,” Fallon quips and opens a menu. I feel Liz’s leg move past mine under the table as she kicks Fallon in the shin and gives him a look that says to behave.
“This is almost like old times,” I comment and throw my arm behind Liz on the back of the seat.
“I was thinking the same thing,” she replies. “Do you remember that waitress who used to work here? The one who hated us because we were always throwing food or shooting spitballs at each other?”
Ryder and I both chuckle at the memory. Fallon, however, just stares at Liz with a smirk across his face. He has always been obsessed with her. It’s creepy.
My fingers graze the back of her neck and they touch something delicate and metallic. She’s wearing the locket necklace I gave her in remembrance of our daughter. And just like that, my mood sours.
“Jayson, what’s wrong?” Liz whispers near my ear. She could always sense my moods.
I slip my finger under the chain and lift her locket out from beneath her sweater, folding my fingers around it.
“I miss her too,” Liz says.
“I passed by Kinlay Park the other day. The one we used to play at as kids. I found myself sitting in my truck watching the parents and their kids run around. I could perfectly picture me pushing Elizabeth Ann in the tiny swing. You know the one that has those leg holes in it? I could hear her giggles as she begged me to push her higher.”
Liz gives me her sweet smile. “You paint a beautiful picture, Jayson. Perhaps we can tell her that story when we visit her grave next month. I’ve already bought a couple of books I want to read to her.”
I bring the locket up to my lips and press a kiss to it. Liz’s breath hitches and tears pile up around her green irises. Our moment is broken when the waiter comes over—some high school kid—and takes our order. Fallon is glowering at me as he clips off his order to the kid. Ryder’s expression is inscrutable. I tuck Liz’s necklace back under her sweater, my gaze never faltering from the stare-down with the two men across from me.
The waiter asks Liz what she wants. She asks for a large basket of fries and a side bowl of mustard.
“You know that stuff ain’t gluten-free, kitten,” Fallon remarks about the fries.
“I’m not allergic to gluten like I am dairy. I just prefer to eat GF. And nothing beats Ruby’s steak fries.”
I lean closer to Liz so that only she can hear me. “Mom and Dad would really like to see you. Do you think you have time to stop by today? I also think it’s time to tell them about Elizabeth Ann.”
“It’s okay to talk about it in front of Fallon. He knows.” Why the fuck does that not surprise me?
“I know what?”
“About our daughter,” she replies, then asks Ryder, “Do you mind if I take a couple of hours after lunch and go back with Jayson? It’s time we tell his parents about their granddaughter.”
“Why don’t we come with you?” Fallon interjects.
“Why don’t you not,” I tell him. “This is a personal matter between me and Liz.”
“I have to agree, Fallon. Would you mind?” she asks Ryder again.
“Of course not, sweetheart,” Ryder tells her.
Fallon wiggles his phone. “Got a text from a friend. They’re doing a race tonight at the Fields. We’re going.”
Liz bounces in her seat. “That would be awesome! How about we all go? Except it won’t be the same without you racing,” Liz says to Ry, reaching across the table and linking her hand with his. Luck is on my side; the waiter comes back with our food meaning Liz has to let go of Ryder’s hand.
“Is that good?” Fallon asks her as Liz eagerly dips a fry in her spicy mustard.
“Here,” she offers, holding a fry across the table and dripping mustard all over the Formica. Fallon leans over and bites it from her fingertips.
“Not too bad,” he munches. “Now mayo, that’s the thing.”
That surprises me. “You like mayo on your fries?”
“Yeah. Why?”
“Jayson does too,” Liz answers.
“Huh,” is all Fallon says and digs into his burger.
“Do you think Julien would be willing to come with us tonight to the Fields?”
“I don’t know, Liz. We can ask him when we get home. He should be there.”
“He’s really upset at me.”
“You know he loves you, Liz.”
“I know. It’s just that this is the first time Julien has ever been this angry with me. It makes my universe feel off-kilter.”
“Once you talk to him, babe, everything will work out.” This time Ryder reaches over and takes Liz’s hand. Lunch can’t be over soon enough for me. At least afterward, I’ll have Liz for a few hours without Ry and Fallon hovering.
Chapter 18
Liz’s voice filters upstairs to where I’m resting on my bed reading a magazine on my tablet. I want so badly to go downstairs and see her, to be in her presence. But I’m still too goddamn mad.
“Jules, get your ass down here. Family meeting,” Jay calls up to me. If it turns out he’s trying to do an intervention to make me talk to her, I’ll turn around and leave.
“Jules!”
“Coming!” Shithead, I mentally add. I toss my tablet on the bed and stomp downstairs. Liz is standing at the bottom and she looks up at me. Christ, why does she have to look so fucking innocent? And beautiful?
“Hi,” she says, verdant eyes imploring me for a hint of compassion or forgiveness. I slow at the bottom step, my hesitation ticking me off, then I walk on by. I feel more than hear her dejected sigh.
“What’s up?” I ask when I see Mom and Dad waiting with curiosity on the couch.
“Liz and I are going to tell them,” Jay says to me.
Oh. Oh! Oh shit. Those eight little words have my anger at Liz evaporating faster than a raindrop in the Sahara Desert. With Jay being my twin, and with my very close relationship with Liz, I always thought of Elizabeth Ann as mine almost as much as she was Jay’s. I felt the loss of her nearly as much as he did. I’m as invested in this conversation as they both are.
�
��Tell us what?” Dad asks.
Liz walks over next to Jay, and they clasp hands, united.
“Are you getting married?” Mom shrieks, looking happier than I have ever seen her. I go over and sit by Mom, knowing that the news she’s about to receive is going to break her heart.
“No, Mom. We’re not getting married. There’s something we need to talk to you about and it’s going to be hard for you to hear. I know you both have so many questions for Liz and you want to spend time with her, but this can’t wait. Just bear with us, alright?”
Jay grabs one of the armchairs and moves it directly in front of our parents. He sits and pulls Liz down to sit on his lap. She’s stiff as a board and looks uncomfortable, but she doesn’t get up.
“We’ve already told you most of what happened to Liz. How she was in Seattle with a distant cousin; how she was in a coma for two months, and then how she had no memory when she woke up. You also know that her memory recently did come back.”
Mom nods her head. “Yes. You told us about that. Lizzie, we are so sorry sweetheart. We wanted to come see you as soon as we heard you were back, but…” She trails off, not wanting to blatantly throw her two sons under the bus.
“Jules and I wouldn’t let you,” Jay finishes. “A lot of stuff has happened since August. Liz ended up in the hospital, and—”
Mom cuts him off. “Why didn’t you tell us? Were you hurt or sick, honey?”
“No, ma’am. When my memory was trying to return, I was having these blackout spells. One was really bad and that’s how I wound up in the hospital.” She angles her face back to look at Jay. “Jay found me in the library. He was there when it happened.”
Jay kisses her temple, and she finally relaxes and leans back into him.
“We found out something while she was in the hospital,” Jay says.
Broken Butterfly: Fallen Brook Series: Book 3 Page 17