“A nurse came into my room and saw one of my scars. It’s on my stomach. I always thought it was from that night. But it wasn’t.”
Mom gasps loudly and covers her mouth. Dad puts his hand on her knee, but I can see his eyes hardening. Has he figured it out? Liz and Jay start talking quickly now, their sentences running into each other’s, as they rush to get it all out.
“I didn’t know what the nurse was going on about. She kept talking about C-sections and asking me about my baby.”
“Daniel, the cousin who had been caring for Liz in Seattle, confirmed everything. Liz had a baby.”
“We had a baby. A girl. She was Jayson’s and mine.”
Mom is openly sobbing now and tries to stand up, but Dad pulls her back down. “You said had,” he states.
“Did you give her up for adoption? Where is she? Where’s our grandbaby?”
“Mom, she’s gone. She didn’t make it.” Jay’s voice breaks when he says it. Liz has tears silently falling down her cheeks. God, even I’m about to lose it.
Dad’s lower lip quivers and it about breaks me. I have never seen him cry, not once. Dad and I are trying hard to console Mom who has collapsed against Dad’s side and is weeping uncontrollably. Dad struggles to speak. “What happened to her?”
“Daniel said that I was already pregnant when I was attacked. The trauma was too much, and she died in utero weeks later. I developed an infection and they had to do an emergency C-section to get her out. I was still in a coma when all of this happened. I never got to see her. I never got to hold her. They named her Elizabeth Ann and buried her in Seattle.”
“Ann, like your mom,” Freda whispers.
“I need a minute,” Dad says gruffly and walks out the front door.
Liz pulls Jay out of the chair so they can sit on the other side of Mom in the space where Dad had been sitting.
Liz takes Mom’s hands, trying to provide her some comfort. “Freda, we’re going to go visit her grave in Seattle over Christmas break. You and Mitch are more than welcome to come with us. Jayson and I would like to have you both there.”
Mom sniffles and nods her head emphatically. “Yes. Yes, I would like that very much. Oh, Lizzie. I’m so incredibly sorry. You have been through so much. You’re such a strong girl. Ann and John would be so very proud of you, honey.” Mom crushes Liz in a motherly embrace and rocks her back and forth.
“Do you want me to go find Dad?” I ask.
“No, baby. Let him have his time.” She wipes her face dry. “I think we all need a cup of hot tea. If you’ll excuse me.” Mom kisses me, Liz, and Jay, on the tops of our heads and quickly exits into the kitchen.
Liz puffs up her cheeks and blows out a huff of air. “That was really rough.”
Jay wraps his arm around Liz and looks over at me. “At least now they know.”
“I hate just springing it on them like that. The loss of our daughter still hits me hard every single day. I can only imagine what they must be feeling right now.”
Jay brings Liz’s head to cradle in his shoulder and rub circles on the back of her neck. “Me, too, babe.”
Wanting to give them some privacy, I shuffle off the couch. “I’ll go check on Mom.”
“Julien. I’m sorry I hurt you by leaving. I was always going to come back. I know I promised I would never leave you. I was in a messed-up place and I needed to get myself straightened out.”
I hunch my shoulders. “You did hurt me, Liz.”
“I know and I’m sorry. The night my memory came back—it was all so fucked up.”
“I’m not going to ask what that means. We can talk more once we get back to CU.”
“We will?” she asks, her face full of hope. “I’ve missed you. Both of you.”
“We’ve missed you too, princess,” Jay tells her while lifting her face up to his. He leans in like he’s about to kiss her, but she pulls back slightly and turns her face so that his lips meet her cheek.
I don’t know what is going on with everyone, but I guess I’ll have to wait until we get back to CU to find out. Jay told me and our parents that he and Liz were back together. He said that as soon as Liz regained her memories, she came back to him, just like he and Elijah predicted. That surely didn’t look the case yesterday when Ryder and Fallon were here. It looked to me like she was with Ryder, and then I got even more confused when I saw how she acted with Fallon.
Jay thumps me on the shoulder. “We’re going to the Fields later. Want to come?”
“Might as well,” I answer. I have nothing better to do and hanging out with Ry is always fun. Add Fallon to the mix, and tonight should be hellraising.
Before I’m able to go check on Mom, she comes out holding a tray with several steaming cups of tea. At the same moment, Dad walks back inside. His eyes are red and his face blotchy, but we pretend not to see it. We all spend the next hour huddled together on the couch listening to Mom talk Liz’s ear off. And during that hour, if my knee somehow finds its way to press against Liz’s and my fingers brush up against her wrist, we never acknowledge it.
“Holy moly! This place is packed!” I exclaim as Jayson parks his truck along a field furrow.
Jayson offered to drive us to the Fields. Julien is sitting shotgun in the passenger seat up front while I’m in the middle of a Ryder-Fallon burrito in the back. I’ve been thumb-wrestling the both of them and have beaten Ryder four times with my left hand and Fallon seven times with my right hand. Julien remained silent the entire time, but Jayson was uncharacteristically chatty. He’s spent the entire drive asking me questions about my trip with Fallon and Ryder. As soon as we turned onto the dirt road that led up to the Fields, I was astonished at how many people were here. When we would come out to watch Ryder, there would be maybe a hundred people. Tonight, it was more than double that amount.
Julien says something to Jayson and then hops out of the truck and walks off.
Jayson notices my crestfallen face. “He’s getting there.”
I hope so. Having Julien not only mad at me, but also not talking to me is torture.
Someone shouts Fallon’s name. “Looks like a lot of us are here tonight,” he says, tilting his head at several guys we used to know from school. I guess that’s why it’s so busy tonight. All the college kids are back home on break on top of the high school kids who come out here anyway. “I’ll catch up with you guys in a minute,” Fallon tells us and saunters off toward a group of guys.
The revving of car engines coming up the dirt road has me looking around. Two identical Mustang GT500s, both blue with white stripes down the middle, and a cherry red Camaro, make their way toward the track. The Camaro slows down to a crawl next to us, but the dark-tinted windows aren’t enough to hide Marshall’s scowling face as he sneers at me. He guns the engine, causing me to jump, and spins his back wheels so that they pepper my legs with dirt and small rocks. Thankfully, I’m wearing jeans, boots, and a long winter coat.
“What the fuck, asshole!” Jayson yells at the Camaro’s taillights as it drives away.
“Babe, are you okay?” Ryder asks as I wipe the dirt off my boots with my gloves.
Seeing Marshall has me wanting to get amnesia again. I hate him with the passion of a thousand suns. Marshall went to Highland High with Fallon and Elijah, but caused a lot of problems for me, Jayson, Julien, and Ryder. When Marshall played on the Highland High soccer team, he purposely tripped Julien and rammed his cleats into Julien’s calf, shredding it to pieces. Julien was in PT for months afterward and still has scars. Marshall also tried to pick a fight with Julien at one of Fallon’s high school parties by saying some very nasty things about me. That night ended with everyone getting into a knockdown fistfight. Jayson beat Marshall so badly that he was in the hospital for a couple of days. Then, Marshall tried to run Ryder off the track here at the Fields during a race. That night, it was me who punched Marshall in the face and broke his nose. If it weren’t for Fallon jumping in, Marshall would have punched me back. Seeing h
im here, tonight, does not bode well for our evening. However, I’m not the timid, meek Elizabeth anymore. I can hold my own against that douche-twat.
“It was Marshall,” I say with a small growl.
Jayson huffs out a breath of disbelief. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me? Out of all the nights.”
“Just ignore him. He’s not going to ruin our evening.”
“Once he finds out that Fallon is here, he won’t try anything,” Ryder surmises, tucking his hand in mine.
I reach for Jayson to get his attention. “Do you think we should find Julien and warn him?”
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. I’ll go find him.”
“Elizabeth, we can leave. We don’t have to stay. I know Marshall is a sore spot for you.”
I love how Ryder always tries to protect me. I crook my finger at him to get him to bend down. “I love you,” I whisper then tiptoe up and kiss his lips. Our skin is cold, but our breaths are warm and the contrast between the two causes tingles to erupt across my cheeks. I swipe my tongue against his one last time and drop down.
Ryder’s eyes are glassy and hooded. “You better be glad we are in an open, public place right now.”
I wink at him and giggle, giving him a silent promise of more to come later tonight. A familiar profile catches my eye. “Is that Elijah?”
Ryder turns to look where I’m pointing. “Crap, it is. Jules is going to shit a brick.”
“Do you know why they broke up?”
Ryder won’t directly look at me. “Yes, I do, but it’s something you need to talk with Jules about.”
Well, that’s cryptic and worrying. And impossible at the moment since Julien refuses to talk to me. I take out my phone and type.
Me: On your left.
I watch as Elijah takes his phone out, looks at the screen, then looks to his left. He finally spots me after a few seconds.
Elijah: Ha, ha. I guess that means I have America’s ass.
Me: The man next to me owns that title
“You’re back!” Elijah’s grin splits his face as Ryder and I walk over.
I run the rest of the way into his open arms and am lifted in a huge bear hug. “I am back. I’m sorry I left. I have a lot to tell you. But it looks like you have a lot to tell me too.”
“Is he here?”
Ryder cuffs his shoulder in greeting. “Yeah, man.”
Elijah sets me back down and kisses my cheek. “I knew we’d run into each other eventually. We do go to the same college and live in the same county. So, when did you get back?”
“We arrived the day before Thanksgiving.”
“We?”
“Fallon flew Ryder out to meet us in Barcelona. He stayed for the rest of the trip,” I happily reply, hugging myself to Ryder’s side.
“Wait. I thought Jay said—” Elijah shuts up when his gaze flicks to Ryder.
“We so need to talk,” I tell Elijah. “Ryder, do you mind?”
“I’ll go hang with Fal while you guys catch up.” He gives me a quick peck and I swat his butt as he walks away. Yep, my man definitely has a world-class ass.
“Are you back with Ryder or still with Ryder? Your life is very confusing sometimes, Liz.”
“Don’t I know it. I’ll give you the condensed version. Yes, my memory came back. Yes, I did something with Jayson that I’m not proud of, but something that is not up for discussion at any time now or in the future. I was in a messed-up place. Yes, I went off with Fallon. He helped me figure things out. No, I’m not back with Jayson. I love Ryder. I’m with Ryder. Hopefully, one day, I will drop down on my knee and ask that man to marry me.” I can do unconventional.
Elijah startles out a cough and I realize what I just said. “Shit, Elijah. I’m sorry. I wasn’t thinking.” Yesterday, Elijah had planned on proposing to Julien.
“It’s fine. I wish things were different.”
A few people walk by us, one guy in particular gives me a long look. “Hey, isn’t that—” I hear him say to the girl next to him. I won’t be made to feel like a sideshow freak. Our town is not that big, and what happened to me and my family wasn’t that long ago. There are bound to be people here tonight that will recognize me.
“How can so much change in four weeks? What happened between you and Julien?”
Elijah pulls me to a more secluded spot between two cars. “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but things between Jules and me started going downhill after you came back.”
“I don’t understand,” I say, shocked. I’m the reason they broke up?
“Liz, I’m not laying blame on you. Julien had been in a bad place for a while. After you disappeared at the end of senior year, it took everything I had to keep him from sinking into the same dark place Jay went to. Then when you came back, all Julien wanted to do was spend time with you. I got shoved to the side. Our relationship hasn’t been a priority to him for a while now.”
“Elijah, I don’t know what to say. Julien loves you so much, you know that.”
“He lost it when you went off with Fallon. Nothing I did helped and all we did was fight. You of all people know how much I love Jules, but I feel like I’ve given up my life and my dreams just to take care of him these past two years. I can’t do that anymore. He has to want to be with me, not just need me because I’m convenient and there to help pick up the pieces for him.”
I throw my arms around his neck. “I will fix this. I promise I will.”
“Liz, you can’t always fix what’s broken. He needs to show me that I matter. That he loves me enough to put me first. It’s up to him, not you.”
I know I hurt Julien, but right now, I want to kick him for being such a stupid jackass.
“Son, the races are about to start,” a man’s deep voice booms behind us. I lift my face from Elijah’s shoulder. It’s Elijah’s dad.
“Hey, Dad. You remember Liz?”
His dad gives me a visual perusal and I notice his lips thin into a hard line of worry. Elijah’s dad used to be a deputy for our county. He would come out to help supervise the races at the Fields, and make sure that things didn’t get out of control or too rowdy. From the sheriff’s badge clipped to his front, it seems Mr. Barnes is no longer a deputy.
“Yes, I remember Liz. How are you, sweetheart?” By the tone of his voice, I know he’s referring to more than just how I feel.
“I’m good. It’s nice to see you again, sir.”
“Please call me Rick, or at least Mr. Barnes. I assume the boys are with you since you’re here?”
“If you mean Ryder, Jayson, Julien, and Fallon, then yes. They’re around here somewhere.”
“Fallon is with you?” Elijah asks.
“Oh! I forgot to tell you. Marshall is here too.”
“Oh, shit.”
Rick asks, “Do I need to be worried?”
“No, Dad. Unless he starts something. Marshall was the guy who messed up Jules’s leg, and the guy Liz punched that night after he and Ryder raced.”
Rick gives me an amused look of approval. “Well, come on over and watch the races. I will say that there hasn’t been anyone nearly as good as Ryder, but we do have some young up-and-comers. I’m sure having Ryder Cutton here tonight will cause a stir among the crowd. It’s like having a celebrity visit.”
Sure enough, I hear a roar of applause and commotion and see Ryder surrounded by a couple of dozen people. A few girls sidle up to him vying for his attention. A brunette puts her hand on his arm and I’m about to go rip her fingers off when Ryder beats me to it by removing her grasp. I also notice Marshall leaning against his car and staring at Ryder. Maybe Rick does have a reason to be worried about tonight.
The three of us start making our way over to Ryder and Fallon, but Rick stops me before we get there.
“Liz, I want you to know how sorry I am about your parents and sister.”
“Thanks. It’s been hard being back here, especiall
y since I got my memories back.”
“I heard about your injuries and memory loss. I’m familiar with your case. Detective Harnett is a friend of mine and I know he’s been trying to get in touch with you. Is there a reason why you’ve been avoiding him?”
“Look, Mr. Barnes, I don’t want to be rude. Too much has happened recently and I’m finally settling into a good place, mentally. Once I’m ready, I promise I’ll call him.”
“Alright, sweetheart. If you need anything, no matter what it is, call me.” Rick hands me one of his business cards. “My personal cell phone number is on the back.”
“Thank you, Mr. Barnes,” I tell him and slide his card into my back pocket. He walks off to join a deputy standing near the track.
The place is lit up like Las Vegas. They’ve added a few more pole lamps to go with the ones that were installed years ago, and the track appears to have been widened a bit. I chuckle a little at the memory of Mr. Jacoby’s cows getting out and running across the track in the middle of a race.
Strong arms swoop around my middle and swiftly lift me up before setting me back down. “What’s up, Elijah?” Jayson greets him.
“Heard J is with you tonight.”
“You heard right,” Julien responds, appearing from behind his brother. “How are you, E?”
The air surrounding us turns thick and heavy from all the tension radiating between Julien and Elijah.
“Good. You?”
“Same,” Elijah exhales a frosty breath, his head hanging down so he doesn’t have to look directly at Julien.
I can’t take this anymore.
“This is ridiculous. You both love each other.”
The angry Julien who has presented himself to me the past two days comes rampaging back. “It’s none of your damn business, Liz.”
“You blaming me makes it my damn business,” I counter, pulling him farther back between the cars for some privacy. I don’t want to air out our dirty laundry to everyone milling about. “I’ll keep apologizing to you for as long you need me to, but me leaving had nothing to do with you, Julien. I’m sorry it hurt you, but I was hurting too. I was no good to anyone, not even myself. If you can’t understand that—” I stop and take a second to calm down before I say something that I’ll more than likely regret. “You’re being petty and stupid. That’s not you, Julien. You are kind and loving and supportive. What happened to that man? What happened to my best friend?”
Broken Butterfly: Fallen Brook Series: Book 3 Page 18