by Ireland Gill
We shared the sampler platter which came with shrimp, crab, mussels, crawfish, corn, and some other assorted sides. I looked over at Hayden just above the mound of food on the platter.
He grinned. “What?”
“You know I don’t even know how to eat some of this stuff,” I admitted, looking at the huge, long crab set perfectly on top of the heap of seafood.”
“That’s another reason I brought you here,” he said with a laugh. “You’re going to finally learn something from me about food before Joel gets the chance to teach you.”
I thought for a moment. He was right. Crab was probably the one thing I hadn’t eaten with Joel, the almost-master chef. I could tell that Hayden was in his glory as he showed me how to open and eat crab the right way, using the weird utensils they gave to us with the platter. By the time we were done eating every bit of food on that platter, I was an expert at eating all types of seafood. Hayden knew how to do everything.
On our way out with full stomachs, it didn’t feel right to leave without feeding the baby alligators in the lagoon in the front of the shack. We bought a couple bags of the food and fed them with the bamboo fishing poles set up along the walkway around the lagoon. Our laughter heightened as we watched a little boy, about three, tossing his food pieces straight into the water to watch the alligators snatch it up. He’d throw it in and shrilled with excitement when the still water became a whirlpool of hungry beasts as they fought for the floating food.
It was a short ride to what the locals called Dolphin Bay. Hayden parked us right at the kayak rental on the shoreline. I’d been suspicious as to whether or not the activity of dolphins would live up to the name of the area, and I wasn’t disappointed. About ten minutes after we paddled our kayaks from the shore and further out to the main bay, Hayden directed us to a little cove. He held out his hand as if to let me know to stop paddling.
“Right here,” he said. “Just wait.”
I wasn’t sure what it was we were waiting for, but I listened to his instructions. It was less than a minute before we’d spotted movement in the water where Hayden pointed. A pod of dolphins were popping in and out of the water. My mouth went agape. I’d never seen dolphins in real life, let alone been up so close to them.
“Hayden!” I whispered loudly. “Oh, my God. I can’t believe it. We’re so close!”
He gave me that winning five-hundred watt smile. “You want to get closer?”
I looked at him incredulously. “Won’t they mind?” I nodded to the direction of the dolphins.
“Nah. They’re used to humans.”
I paddled the kayak a bit closer, surprised to find that these dolphins didn’t put more distance between us yet. A little further and I could have almost reached out to touch them. I felt compelled to, but I sat there in awe just enjoying the moment.
“We can get closer, you know.”
I looked over at Hayden and saw him gazing at me. I’d wondered how long he’d been staring at me.
“Can we?”
He nodded with a smile, and we paddled about fifteen feet closer to where we’d seen the dolphins emerge from the water for air. It almost felt as though we’d be right on top of them. It made me nervous.
“Now what?” I asked him.
“You’ll see.” Hayden smirked.
A few moments passed by in which there hadn’t been any activity in the water, as if the dolphins had swum away. But then there was a wet blowing noise just a few feet behind us. I turned just in time to see the grayish blue skin pop out of the water behind my kayak. I turned my body the other way to catch it again and saw more of the same dolphin skin emerge slightly above the surface. There were two, and they were so close. My mouth went agape.
“They’re beautiful,” I told Hayden. “I can’t believe we’re this close.”
“Hold out your hand near the water,” Hayden instructed.
I shook my head. “There’s no way they’ll come that close.”
“Just trust me,” he assured.
He moved his kayak closer to mine, and we both held out our hands, laying them on the water’s surface, waiting. Just then, the two creatures emerged again. Their skin slowly rising out of the water and heading toward us. The reflection of the golden sun on the water below my hand was broken by a bottle-shaped nose meeting my palm. It was smooth and rubbery to the touch. The dolphin then lowered its head and bobbed up its body along my hand. My eyes started to well up with forming tears.
I saw that my dolphin’s companion had also paid us a visit, and had met Hayden’s palm in the water. After a few more seconds, they both slowly swam away toward the rocks again. I watched in awe.
“Hayden, that was amazing.” I blinked hard to let out the relentless tears from each eye. “Why were they so friendly with us?” I asked him, not really expecting for him to know exactly why.
He shrugged. I sort of had Luka visit the bay this morning to work on a couple of them for us. He calmed them and prepared them for our visit.
I giggled. “Of course,” I said, not surprised there had been a trick up his sleeve. Luka was a nature harmon and could calm even the craziest and most vicious animals into tame, relaxed creatures.
I would have been happy enough with just the kayaking and watching the dolphins by the cove. Nonetheless, I was appreciative that Hayden went to such lengths to give us such a wonderful day, asking his best friend to add his little touch of amazing to it.
I looked over at him, catching him studying me. “What?” I asked, finally realizing I hadn’t relaxed the plastered grin on my face.
“I missed this. Us,” he admitted. “Your smile.”
“Hey! You two!” We looked behind us to see a paddleboard instructor yelling over at us. "Get back into the designated area!”
I looked around and hadn’t realized how far out we’d paddled. It was well past the area we were instructed to stay within.
“Whoops,” Hayden said sardonically. “Better paddle back over.”
I laughed uncontrollably at his tone.
“What’s so funny?” Hayden asked me.
I shook my head at him as we turned our kayaks around to paddle back. “The angel who never breaks rules is being a bad influence on me.”
He smirked. “Who would have thought?”
The ride back home after our day went slowly. I wasn’t sure if it was due to the traffic or just my own imagination, but I was thankful for it. I sat behind Hayden on the Harley, staring at his back wrapped tightly in a steel gray t-shirt. I imagined the fresh scars on his back that were right underneath that clothing, those wounds he willfully inflicted upon himself to become human for me. Although I was honored, I felt angry with him for his choice to do it, to become as vulnerable as a human just to be with me. I guess I thought about it a little too much, and I shouldn’t have.
I lay my head against his back, just between the scars. I inhaled his scent of rain, and was elated all over again that he still smelled the same, even after starting to fade. I wondered if that would ever change.
When we arrived home, it was evening, and the house was empty. I looked out back and saw Blane throwing his knives at the thicker trees. Beau was gone and, I assumed, was out with Luka. Jaxon’s Mustang wasn’t in the driveway, and wherever he was, I was sure that Indigo wasn’t far behind.
“Looks like they all bailed on us,” I said with a laugh.
“See?” Hayden started. “It’s not so bad after all, living in a frat house, as you called it.”
“Touché,” I grumbled as I grabbed a bottled water from the fridge. “One’s not much of a talker, anyway,” I gestured to the back window toward where I’d seen the Phantom Hunter.
“Give him time. He hasn’t warmed up to many since I’ve met him,” Hayden said. “Always keeps to himself.”
“I wish I could throw like that,” I admired.
We walked back to the rear of the house again and saw Blane removing three of his knives from the very center of the target he’d pa
inted onto the tree.
“A lot of people do,” Hayden answered.
He stood closely behind me; so close that I knew I could lean into him and he’d catch me. I fell into his chest and, sure enough, he received me without stumbling. His right arm raised up and secured around my chest and shoulders. His cheek pressed against the top of my head. I was complete again. Content, like I’d always remembered.
I couldn’t help but reminisce the times Hayden had taken me to his clouds to talk, where he’d held me so securely in his arms the same way. He’d taken me up there twice, and I’d wished I had the chance to go with him again. I wondered if he also thought the same thing, or if he ever gave it much thought as to how much he would yearn for those peaceful moments after losing his wings.
Hayden lifted my left hand and admired my ring; the ring with which he’d asked me to marry him just before we spent our first night together and finally expressed our true feelings for each other.
“I did promise you that we would visit the House of Council in order to commence with the binding ceremony once I’ve completely Faded.” He paused briefly. “That is, if you’ll still have me.”
I’d wondered why he’d even doubted my love for him until I gave a second thought to my harsh words to him one week ago. “The only mistake I ever made was trusting you,” “Your mission is over. You’re done. I’m done.” Those were the words that I recalled saying, and I wasn’t proud of them. I knew I’d hurt him, and I’d meant to at the time.
I turned around, still staying close to his body and looking up into those emerald pools. “I’d never change my mind about that, Angel-man. Of course I’ll still marry you.”
He kissed my forehead softly. “What did I ever do to deserve you?”
I ran my hand through his thick, dark hair, staring into those green eyes I’d always loved to get lost in.
“I have asked myself that same question about you since we’ve met,” I answered seriously.
And I was serious. What did I do to deserve someone so forgiving and so tolerant of me and my antics? I felt undeserving of a lot of the things, especially Hayden.
He gave me one of his best smiles, and I could have sworn I heard a quiet sigh of relief before he cupped my face in his strong hands and pressed his lips against mine. My fingers slithered up along the back of his neck and into his hair. I freed one hand and laced my fingers with his, relenting to each movement of our lips. I pressed my body against his, almost coaxing him to move to a couch, to the dining room table, anywhere. I didn’t care. I wanted him then and there. And I wanted him all to myself.
Hayden answered my subtle request by lifting me into the air and directing my legs to lock around his body. He briskly walked us around the corner and gracefully up the stairs, leading us to the quiet second floor and into my bedroom, our bedroom. He laid me gently onto the unmade bed and placed my head on the pillow before shutting the door, then came back to me within seconds.
Hayden hovered over me, drinking me in with his beautiful, emerald eyes. I’d waited long enough. I’d missed him, his touch, his scent, everything. I ached for him, and so I yanked on the collar of his t-shirt to pull him toward me. Our lips crashed, and our bodies were almost one. Finally, he was all mine for the rest of that beautiful night.
Chapter Eight Unspoken
It was early. The sun had just risen, and I'd been lying in bed for about half an hour listening to the birds chirping outside the bedroom window while watching Hayden sleep. It was funny to be the one watching him sleep this time, as it always used to be him watching over me during my slumber.
While still sleeping, he turned to his side, his bare back facing me. I was instantly reminded of how human he was now, how fragile, how new. It was as if the scars on his back glared at me to be sure I was aware that this man, this angel, had made the most ultimate sacrifice that his kind could ever make: Fading. It was what Guardians did if they wanted to live a human life. Their wings are broken, and the scars on their backs would remain until they’ve completely made the transition from immortal to mortal, angel to human.
I slid my hand over the scars softly, so as not to waken the sleeping angel. The scars were pinkish red in color, and were protruding lines that extended from top to bottom of each should blade. They were firm to the touch, callus-like. I was reminded once again of the guilt I’d tried to keep hidden deep down. I’d trusted that Hayden had nothing left to hide from me, no more secrets stuck behind all of those curtains he’d been forced to keep closed from me. And there I was, next to the angel, the man I loved, holding a secret of my own.
I’d encountered the devil, Alysto, and he had no doubts that I had a darkness inside of me that matched his own. He tried to convince ne with many valid examples as to why he would think such a thing. He made efforts to compel me to choose his world, the Dark Realm, over my own, and he reminded me of the hate that always brewed within me. But I argued and refused him. I also refused to admit to him that I’d already noticed this darkness that loomed within me. I’d already been afraid of it for quite some time. I’d already feared who I was becoming, even before my First Death. What scared me the most was that no one else but the devil could see it.
A single tear escaped my eye and trickled down my cheek to the corner of my mouth. I didn’t wipe it away as I focused on those scars again. I wanted to look away from them, but I couldn’t. Hayden was indefinitely vulnerable now as a human, and even more so during his transition before his scars completely healed and faded away. Only then would he be entirely human. Human, and no longer the angel that he once was. The strong and invincible being who’d swept me off of my feet, literally, the first day we’d met in order to save me from a Drone, one of Alysto’s terrible beasts he’d had the habit of unleashing on all Soldiers of Light.
However, now that the devil had realized our alleged connection to darkness, he’d relieved me of the dangers of his monsters as a way of showing me he had the power to do so. It was as though he felt he could still convince me to choose the darkness even after I wouldn’t relent to him that one night we met. I had a bad feeling that the devil would persist as long as he could.
Hayden and I would be safe from the Drones until Alysto changed his mind about changing mine, but Hayden had no knowledge of this at all. He’d mentioned to Luka when we first moved to Georgia that things had been quiet. I’d wondered if that was the catalyst to his decision to become human, his thinking that we were safe from the devil’s minions.
After staring at those blaring scars for way too long that morning, all I could think about was how my angel was no longer invincible from those dangers that I knew still lurked. I was afraid for so many reasons that he’d made a very poorly-calculated decision, a rash one that he never should have made. Even still, I couldn’t tell him about Alysto, and I couldn’t tell him that when I met the devil, he not only saw the same darkness within me that I often felt, but that I marked the devil’s skin over his heart with my negative zero. My wrist pressed against Alysto’s chest to push him away after he’d whispered into my ear for the final time, and I’d branded him with my own mark. It seared us both, leaving my mark a bit darker and leaving a mirror image, a backwards image of the negative zero on the devil.
Hayden often noticed every little detail about me; my tone of voice depending on my mood, my facial expressions, the ticks I had, the die-hard habits. . .but he never once noticed the birthmark on my wrist becoming a shade darker after that night I met the devil. Sure, I’d covered it up off and on with black ponytail holders for my hair, which soon became a fixture to my wrist after a while once I’d played them off as if I liked those better than actual bracelets. But the fact that Hayden hadn’t noticed yet gave me even more reason to hide that secret even deeper. There was no reason to bring it up. My mark wasn’t questioned, therefore the subject of the encounter with Alysto would remain buried.
I gave Hayden a soft kiss on his cheek and was careful not to wake him as I rolled out of the bed. I immed
iately felt the morning chill of the ocean air hit my skin and slid into my dragon hoodie I'd left hanging over the chair by the door as I tiptoed out of the room.
The house was quiet, a nice and peaceful quiet – not one of those eerie types that keeps you on edge. Just peace. I loved that feeling. I went straight to the kitchen and saw that there was already a fresh pot of brewed coffee. Almost a full pot. Despite my curiosity to know who'd been up before me, I still filled a mug for myself. The contents I poured looked as thick as tar. Once I’d inhaled the steam rising from the mug like a potion, my eyes widened immediately. The scent was so strong, I'd guessed there had to have been at least four times the amount of ground beans used for that one pot. Unsure I'd even care for it, I took a small sip and swallowed with surprise. I actually liked it.
Once I added a tad of sugar and cream, I started to roam the house to find the early bird. I made my way to the front bay window and, sure enough, found my answer as I stared at the figure sitting on the porch step. He was still and quiet, staring out at the sky, almost as if he were admiring the same peace I'd felt that morning. I watched him blow a thick cloud of smoke from his mouth and raise his hand up to his lips for another drag of his cigarette.
“You know,” I said as I sauntered out of the screen door quietly, “those things'll kill you.”
Without completely turning to me, but allowing a small shift in the corner of his mouth that looked like an attempt at a grin, Blane answered nonchalantly. “You don't say?”
I rolled my eyes. “Not that it matters to you or anything. I know.” I plopped down next to him on the wooden step, careful not to knock his mug of coffee.
“Nothin' I haven't heard before,” he clarified as he held out the pack of cigarettes out to me.
I looked down. He finally turned to face me. He must have sensed that I was going to hesitate. But it wasn't hesitation, I actually wanted one. I even craved it. I was just slightly surprised at the type of cigarettes he was smoking as I reflected on the lovely habit I'd kicked not too long ago; it was the same brand.