Zero Rising: Soldier of Light Chronicles Book 3

by Ireland Gill

  I slowly came to a stance in front of him, but couldn’t look him in the eye. I wasn’t quite sure how to answer him. I really wasn’t sure if I should. I didn’t have a right, at all, to demand trust or promises from anyone, especially from Hayden. I waited for him to continue, because I was sure he had more to say to me.

  He stopped pacing, and ran his fingers through his hair, letting out a long and heavy sigh. “He may not have hurt you, but he got something from you, didn’t he?” He met my gaze, staring straight into my soul as if he could see all of my truth.

  “Alysto sees a darkness in me,” I admitted. “He thinks I’m different from the other Soldiers of Light. I tried to reason with him, and ask him to let the Seekers move on as they are meant to. But I realize, that was never the right request.”

  Hayden let out a sardonic laugh. “So, you had a full blown conversation with the devil? A long enough conversation in which you guys could shoot the shit and get to know each other?” He seemed agitated. It wasn’t like him to anger so easily.

  I felt a sickness in the pit of my stomach and I looked at him with disappointment. My mouth opened, but then I quickly closed it again, not knowing what to say. I looked away before he could get an answer from my eyes, but I felt his stare.

  He quickly jerked his head to look at me more closely and was silent for a moment, trying to find the right way to say what he wanted to say. He had a concerned expression. I guess there was no good way to relay his thoughts.

  “What is the point of my existence, Evika? Can you tell me this? Because you sure as hell seem to have a handle on this new life all on your own.” He threw his words at me in his most sardonic tone and it hurt me badly.

  I swallowed hard and slowly rose my eyes to meet his. The sickness in me turned to a pain. I finally spoke. “Hayden, I-”

  “No!” He cut me off, pointing his finger at me. “You have the audacity to corner me and make me spill my guts to you and to promise you that I won't hold anymore secrets from you on your life, and you keep this from me?” his voice boomed.

  “He threatened to end you, Hayden!” I cried.

  He grunted angrily, shoving the coffee table across the wooden floor, breaking the glass candle holders that set upon it. The loud crash of the shattering glass made me jump as the table hit the wall.

  He started pacing again as he narrowed his eyes for a moment and flared his nostrils while lowering the corners of his mouth as he glanced my way. He sucked in air and held his breath, as if to calm himself. I looked up slightly and locked eyes with his. His fiery eyes were a fierce green, burning a hole through mine. But then, as if he’d seen a reflection of himself of which he was afraid, he immediately softened his gaze and unclenched his fists. He sighed, bringing his hands up to his face and hanging his head. He turned away from me.

  The silence was penetrating, but I had to confess.

  “I couldn't tell you! And then you went and...” I paused, “you Faded out of nowhere, with no warning and no reason. You just became....” I struggled to find the right word.

  “Breakable,” he said. I looked at his fists, slowly loosening at his sides. “You know, I’ve wracked my brain for weeks now about that sketch of yours,” he said quietly. “I’ve wondered which one of us whose regret you are trying to portray in that picture. I sure as hell can attest that it shouldn’t be mine. And you should know that, despite how much you think I regret the decision,” he continued, “I don’t. And I never will.”

  I squeezed my eyes shut, forcing the tears to spill over and drip down my cheeks. Hayden turned toward me again, but he still kept distance between us.

  “Evika, I love you and I want a life with you. I want to marry you, and I want children with you. I want to raise a family, and grow old with you. I want to make this life as normal as possible for you.” He sighed. “But trust is really something we need to work on.”

  He sat back down in the chair next to me. I looked away again, but I could feel his eyes still upon me expectantly.

  Then he spoke the words to me, so calmly. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with your birthmark getting darker, would it?”

  A force within me kept me from speaking. I didn't know what to say. I only let the tears fall. I was almost trembling, realizing he’d been aware all along that something had changed. I should have known I couldn’t keep something like that from him. He knew me not only inside and out, but also every inch of my body, every inch of skin, muscle, hair, freckle, blemish...and birthmark. My head sank.

  “I pushed him away when he got too close. And I....I marked him, his skin. Over his heart.” I trembled on the floor as I held my knees. I was afraid to look at him. Afraid of Hayden’s stare that would see right through me, but I lifted my head and met his eyes. “It...Burned him, and left a mark. My negative zero got darker.”

  His face reddened, and his eyes protruded. “Well, this certainly explains a lot now, doesn't it?” he said. “Drones have been gone for months, and it was right after you ran off and tried speaking with that Watcher in the alley.” I looked at him, eyes widened. “Yeah,” he said, “I’m well aware you tried to talk to that thing.” He sighed. “Alysto knows much more about you now, probably more than we think. Why would you even hide something like that from me?”

  I slowly stood, frozen in a new layer of discomfort. I was afraid to answer because I didn't know what to say and I feared if I didn't say something that it would make it worse. My throat closed and I threw my head back, relenting to the tears that took me over once again. I wanted to die.

  “When are you going to fully trust me, Evika?”

  I looked over at him, catching a hint of desperation behind those eyes. He actually felt I didn’t trust him, but it was me I wasn’t sure about anymore. I wanted to believe my intentions were always good, but sometimes they didn’t seem to be.

  “And actually, Evika, when are you going to trust in the legend that you are? Trust that the Council has faith in you as the Soldier of Light. Trust that Luka, Indigo, Elka all have faith in you, that I have faith in you?” He sighed, lowering his head. “I know you’re scared, and you’ve been scared since the minute I showed up out of nowhere and told you of your new role a year ago.” He paused briefly, kneeling down in front of me. “But you have to stop being afraid of what you really are.”

  I looked up at him quizzically. “And what am I?”

  I waited for him to enlighten me. I searched those green pools of his, wondering what words of wisdom he could give me that would officially give me the answers to my enigmatic self.

  “You’re human. And you have a darker side that runs pretty deep. I know you struggle with it. Especially since you lost your mother.” He took my hands in his. “But you’re gonna be okay. I know you’re afraid of it, too, this darkness. But you don’t need to be, because I’ll always be here to bring you back to the light again. No matter how far you stray.”

  Right around the part when he said “you’re gonna be okay” is when I relented to the tears I’d been trying to stop ever since I’d wiped my face a few minutes prior with my brother’s hoodie.

  “Not everything that’s dark is evil, Pony-girl. It’s okay to have some dark parts.” He pushed a piece of hair out of my face. “But there’s light in you too. Always will be, because you’re one of the strongest beings I know.”

  It was right then that I could see it all so clearly; Hayden, my Guardian angel, saw me, loved me and accepted me for who I was. He’d always known about the darker side, and it was moronic of me to think anything otherwise. He was never blind to what I am. It was me who was blind.

  He sighed. “I trust you.”

  I looked at him questioningly. “Trust me with what?”

  “To make the decision. If you feel that talking to Alysto is the next best move, then I want to support you. I certainly don’t like it, but I’m going to trust you.”

  I studied my angel for a minute, searching his eyes for any hint that may show he was just joking.
But I knew him better than that. This was not some joke. He was truly putting his trust in me.

  “I...I don’t really know why, but I feel like Alysto may have the answer I need. A way to save Jaxon.”

  He looked at me, wiping my last tear away with his thumb. “Okay,” he said. “I’ll have Luka arrange our travel plans to L.A. tonight while I get us packed. Then, let’s see if you can get your answer.”

  I took a long, deep breath. A much needed breath. I felt a blanket of relief fall over me, knowing that Hayden now knew everything I’d ever kept from him. It felt truly liberating. A sudden urge overtook me and I found myself standing up and wrapping my arms around him, embracing him so tightly. He returned the hug with the same pressure of squeeze. We stood there together for a length of time that may have been too long, considering the circumstances of urgency. But it was a simple excuse – we both needed that hug.

  * * * * *

  Logically, the only way to conjure up the devil again was to invite him into my dream like the first time. Even though Jericho’s dreamcatcher had been the way in for Alysto the one time, I knew in my heart of hearts that it wasn’t something I needed to use again. I had the power to call to him whenever I wanted and let him in. I believed it, and I wasn’t afraid of it anymore.

  It was dark. We lay on the bed together, Hayden and I, facing each other. My hands were in his.

  “I know you still have your little dream ability, despite the Fading thing going on.” I nudged him

  He smiled. “Why, yes. I certainly do. Is that an invite?”

  I shook my head. “Definitely not.”

  Hayden’s brow furrowed. “How am I supposed to protect you?”

  “Hayden, how am I supposed to protect you?”

  His hands slipped away from mine, but he still lay there with disappointment in his eyes.

  “Ouch!” My right wrist throbbed for a split second, but enough for me to notice that it was very similar to the pain I’d felt earlier in the day. And then it hit me.

  “Omigod,” I said hardly audibly, looking down at my birthmark.

  “What happened?” Hayden looked down at my hands.

  I would have to say it aloud, something I didn’t want to admit. But I knew it was true. “The devil is calling to me.” I looked up at Hayden, unable to explain my realization any further until I’d remembered what Alysto had said to me that one night we met. “It is not the devil that marks the astray child, but the astray child that marks the devil.” I said the words aloud, not even meaning to.

  “What?” Hayden’s hands were back, holding mine again.

  “This is how I call to him. This is how I can bring him to me.” I sat up in the bed, directing Hayden to sit up with me. “I don’t need to sleep. I can bring him here.”

  Hayden held a blank stare. “How do you know this?”

  I looked down, shaking my head. “I don’t know how I know. I just know.”

  “He can’t be in this realm. That’s impossible.”

  I nodded. “It is possible. Because he was here before. It was apparently my invite.”

  “But you can’t bring him into this realm again, Evika. You can’t let him out of his own realm.”

  A chilling thought trickled down my spine: I already have. But then, a sense of calm blanketed over me, as if Hayden had used his sedation trick. I looked down. He was hardly touching me anymore. This wasn’t the same feeling I had when he calmed me. This was my own intuition. My own awareness. My own power – my ability to believe in myself, just like Hayden wanted me to.

  When I thought about the dangers in reaching out to Alysto, I’d wondered if this was more of a risk than I’d realized. Could he access this living realm without my assistance? Prior to that moment, the only time he’d been able to, was with my inadvertent invite. The devil could only be let in this realm if I let him. I could see the truth. This time would be controlled, on purpose.

  “Trust me,” I whispered to my angel.

  He looked pleadingly into my eyes, but then I saw them change as he looked at me with admiration. I knew his answer then. I knew he was putting his trust into my plan.

  “Ok,” he said. I sighed in relief. “But I go,” he added.

  “What? No!”

  “Yes. I’m bringing the hydro-gun, and I’ll stay back unless I’m needed.”

  I shook my head. “Hayden, you don’t understand. He threatened your life.”

  “I don’t care. You’re not doing this alone.” He paused. “Tandem, remember?”

  It would never matter what I said to him, Hayden would never budge on this. And I should have known this is the way it would always be; his thinking he was still invincible to anything and everything. Maybe I was getting a taste of my own medicine.

  “Then we’re bringing Luka to watch over you,” I told him. He deflated. It was as if he felt emasculated. “You know you can’t do something this dangerous without a Guardian, Hayden. Why would you even consider it?”

  He met my eyes and shrugged. “I guess I feel just as invincible as you do when you make the same choices.”

  His comment felt like an unnecessary jab. “That’s not fair. You’re much more vulnerable right now than I’ve ever been.”

  He sighed and moved a piece of hair behind my ear. “You’re right. And I’m still trying to get used to it.”

  “I can’t lose you.”

  “You won’t.”

  “You can’t promise things like that; especially when you don’t heed my warning...the devil’s warning.”

  “We’ll bring Luka. And I’ll stay out of the way.”

  I sighed in relief, only partially pacified with his words. I knew I should have trusted him, but it was Alysto and his unpredictability I couldn’t trust. I was going to be calling to the devil with an agenda once again, and the devil, of course, had warned me of the havoc that could ensue if I crossed him.

  We decided to wait until after midnight. I walked out onto the beach behind the house as far as possible, away from any audience. I’d hoped I could get Alysto to join me on the sand in his humanlike form, and not the beast I’d seen. I remembered his mocha skin in the sunset, so different from the dark scales that grew on him when he’d changed in my previous encounter.

  Luka convinced Hayden stay back inside the house. He was far away enough that he’d be safe, but close enough to watch the encounter and to feel as though he had the ability to intervene, if necessary. But Luka and I didn’t even have to have the conversation to know this was already so dangerous.

  I found dry driftwood and lit a small fire in the sand. It lit enough light on myself and some distance around me so that Hayden and Luka could see me. I stared down at my wrist and then the fire, wondering what the hell I was supposed to do to call to him. I kept having strange feelings as if I knew how to, as if it were natural. But when I tried to force it, I went blank and had no clue what I was going to do. No clue what I’d say. No clue if it was even safe anymore.

  The one thing I could count on was Alysto still wanting me to join him. He still saw a darkness in me that felt so real. But I wanted to believe that he would help me get Jaxon back.

  I looked up to the sky, fluffy clouds framing the full moon, from which soft light kissed the small waves of that beautiful ocean. There was peace here, and I felt it. I had peace, knowing I’d confessed everything to Hayden, and he was still right there, forever with me. I could do this.

  “Alysto, Keeper of the Wicked,” I whispered. My wrist ached for a moment, and wind blew at me with a force to gently move my hair, but not put out the fire in the sand.

  I sat down then, by that little fire. I looked down at my wrist and held it with my other hand. The birthmark burned then with the same cold and hot feeling I’d felt the first time I dance with the devil, touching his skin. Cold as ice, hot as sunbathed asphalt. I remembered the touch. But it did not hurt.

  “Fortis,” I heard his liquid voice next to me and jerked my head to the right. “We meet again.”


  He’d been sitting on the sand only a few feet away from me. His human-like form. The same black shirt, half unbuttoned, and light-colored slacks. He was barefoot, digging his feet into the sand. Comfortable. Waiting.

  “H-h-hello, Alysto,” I stuttered. I slid a few inches further away from him along the sand.

  His forehead furrowed into an agonized frown. “Why do you move away from me?” He put his hands up, palms facing me. “I come in my ancient form for you, the one that most suits me so that you fear me less.”

  “I don’t completely trust you, Alysto. It wouldn’t matter what form in which you present yourself.”

  “I guess that is fair. I am the devil, after all.” He put his arms down, resting them on his legs. His grin grew from ear to ear. “To what do I owe this pleasure, Brave One? Have you given more thought to my invite to join me?”

  It was odd that he’d even ask me such a thing, knowing very well that I wouldn’t even consider his offer. He was much smarter than that. He knew I’d called him for something else this time. I didn’t want to waste any of the precious minutes I had while my brother suffered.

  “The Phantom possessed my brother. And it’s strong enough to kill people now. Innocent people,” I said.

  He nodded, flashing a sly grin my way. “So, you’ve finally met your twin.”

  My brow furrowed. “That’s not why I called to you. We need to talk about the Phantom.”

  “Enlighten me, Fortis.” He spun on his bottom in the sand, crossing his legs and resting his arms in his lap. The light of the fire danced on the mocha skin of his face. “How did the encounter with your Guardian go once you found out about this other half of yours?”

  My face felt hot red. I could feel my body heat rise. “That’s none of your business.”

  “Oh, it’s very much my business if you think about it. Was this invite of yours luring me from the Dark Realm not to ask something of me?” He was looking me right in the eyes. His stare was relentless, as if cutting through my skin and bones, probing through every crevice to find what I was holding secret.