There was a moment where Ashley could feel Connor’s surprise. She even worried that he might pull away, but then his hand was on Ashley’s back, making her bare skin tingle. His mouth opened up to hers. Ashley found her body pulled tight against Connor’s hard chest, his free hand coming to rest on her waist.
Connor made a noise in the back of his throat, a grunt of approval that seemed to send a heat all the way through Ashley’s body. He pulled back, but only far enough that he could nip sharp teeth into her lower lip. When he kissed her again, he licked his way into her mouth.
It was everything and so much more than what Ashley had expected. His body felt like fire against her but in the most pleasurable of ways. Connor’s mouth opened slightly and Ashley took it as an invitation for her tongue to lick its way into it. One of her hands came up to tangle in Connor’s hair, pulling his head even more against her.
Ashley’s other hand ran over Connor’s side, bunching up his dress shirt in her fist so she could pull it higher. With easier access, Ashley moved her hand down so she could slide it under the shirt. Connor’s hard stomach muscles twisted against Ashley’s hand and fuck . He was so hot and Ashley wanted to touch more of him.
Connor groaned, letting go of Ashley for long enough for him to shrug out of his jacket. Then his hands were on her again. One big palm cupped her ass, hitching her against his body, where Ashley could feel his cock already beginning to stir. “Fuck,” he growled, kissing his way down her neck, his stubble scratching lightly against Ashley’s skin. “You look so fucking hot tonight,” he muttered, between kisses.
His free hand moved up Ashley’s body, his touch firm and solid until his fingers reached the bare strip of skin between Ashley’s breasts. He teased her, touching slowly along the edges of her dress like he wasn’t quite sure whether this was allowed.
It definitely was. Ashley gave a soft moan, hoping it’d show Connor as much. His fingers felt even hotter now than they had when they’d been dancing. Ashley almost couldn’t believe it had taken her this long to get Connor alone in a... cupboard. They were still in a cupboard. Somehow, Ashley really couldn’t bring herself to care. Even as the sounds from the gala flowed through the door, all Ashley wanted was for Connor to tell her more about how hot she was.
“You look really fucking hot, too,” Ashley breathed, pulling against Connor with her hand that wasn’t preoccupied with stroking over the six-pack under his shirt. She took a step back, dragging Connor with her until they hit the door. Then, using that as support, Ashley tilted her head back up to seek Connor’s lips out once more.
He moaned into the kiss, the sound so low and deep that Ashley could almost feel it vibrate against his ribs. She wanted to do something to make Connor moan again, but could only gasp as his hand moved to hitch her thigh up, his cock pressing right against her center through all their layers of clothes. He felt big . Ashley couldn’t help the way her body responded to just the thought of how he’d feel if they were skin-to-skin.
Connor evidently felt similar. He worked his hand under the front of Ashley’s dress, his fingers stroking over her breast until he found her nipple. He tugged, lightly at first, and then harder in response to the noise Ashley made. He pulled away from the kiss, dropping his mouth to her neck, sucking hard enough that Ashley was sure there’d be a mark.
“Fuck,” she breathed, nails scratching against Connor’s side. She heard his breath hitch at that and it just made Ashley want to see how many other noises she could get out of him. Having Conner’s hard body pressing her against the door made heat pool between Ashley’s legs. She rocked against him, enjoying the sounds she got in response.
There was an almost desperate need in her that just wanted to feel more of him. Ashley also wanted more of this, the kissing and the rawness of it all. Having one leg around Connor’s waist, Ashley used her free hand to pull herself up more. Connor helped her there, half-lifting her before he kissed her again. This was going so much better than whatever half-baked plan Ashley had thought of.
The skirt of Ashley’s dress was caught between their bodies, and she could feel Connor fumbling with the material. If she hadn’t been so preoccupied with the smooth skin of Connor’s chest, she would’ve helped. She made an encouraging, almost needy noise when Connor’s fingers found her bare thigh, stroking along the sensitive skin.
He had almost, almost reached the scrap of lace between Ashley’s legs when he pulled back, his eyes wide and dark with desire. “Fuck.” He didn’t move, just stared at Ashley. She could almost see the effort of will it took him to let go and let her stand on her own two feet.
“What are we doing?” he asked as if it weren’t very obvious what they’d been doing.
Ashley waited for a moment to see if he was joking. When Connor didn’t say anything else she felt... awkward. The way he had suddenly drawn attention to them felt odd. Ashley also wasn’t sure what there was to misunderstand when they were making out in a cupboard. It seemed less funny now that Connor was just staring at her.
“Kissing in a cupboard?” Ashley offered, but she sounded unsure. She certainly didn’t think she’d done something Connor hadn’t wanted. The kissing back, not to mention his hardness against her thigh, implied that he was interested.
Connor took another step away, leaving Ashley’s body suddenly cold , and not just in a physical way. Her dress fell back into place. Connor’s shirt was still untucked, his suit jacket still in a puddle on the floor.
“Yeah,” Connor agreed and ran his tongue over his lower lip in a way that made Ashley want to follow it with her own. He looked almost as though he were going to kiss her again, but he stopped.
“We’re not together!” he objected. “This isn’t - it’s not a relationship.”
That... shit, did that hurt. Ashley felt it almost like a physical slap. No, of course, this wasn’t a relationship. They were fake dating and that meant there was no making out in a cupboard. She felt so stupid to have thought that someone like Connor might want more with someone like her. He was a professional hockey player and no matter how nice a dress Ashley could put on, she was still a waitress Connor had asked for a favor.
“Yeah, of course, you’re right, I’m sorry,” Ashley said, managing not to sound like she was about to cry even if she felt like she might. But no! She wasn’t going to cry just because Connor didn’t want her. He had the right not to want her and they’d never agreed to do more than fake date.
This wasn’t a relationship, Connor had been clear.
“I’m just going to…” The ‘go’ was replaced by Ashley waving her hand towards the general direction of the party. Before Connor could say more things to her that were hurtful but true , Ashley pulled the door open and let herself out.
She knew he wouldn’t be able to follow her straight away, not with how disheveled he’d been. So Ashley took that as her opportunity to escape. To leave how embarrassing this was behind her.
It took her no time at all to call an Uber. If on her way out she pretended she didn’t hear Evie calling after her, well that would just have to do. Ashley couldn’t possibly face pretending to be Connor’s girlfriend anymore tonight. She’d go home, pull herself together and then tomorrow they could go back to pretending. If Connor wanted that.
He definitely didn’t want her. That didn’t mean he’d break up with her. Fake break-up? Ashley didn’t even know. All she knew was that she needed to get away and to stop feeling like Connor had broken her heart when all he’d really done was point out their agreement.
Chapter Seven
Connor spent the rest of the gala in a daze. He tried looking for Ashley, sure she couldn’t have just left without saying anything. When that hadn’t worked, he’d tried calling, and when that hadn’t worked, Evie had said she’d seen Ashley heading out and getting into a car.
It just didn’t make sense , and Connor couldn’t wrap his head around it. Things had been going well, or so Connor had thought. He’d enjoyed having Ashley around as his
fake girlfriend - much more than he’d enjoyed having most of his real girlfriends around. He didn’t want to ruin that, and anyway, Ashley was leaving in a few months.
Like most of the Howlers, Connor didn’t have a problem with spending one night with a woman and then never seeing her again. Sometimes, that was what he wanted. It was a hell of a lot easier than trying to date, but it could never be one night with Ashley - they were… friends. At least, Connor hoped they were, and he didn’t sleep around with his friends.
Connor didn’t want a girlfriend. He couldn’t prioritize any woman the way that she deserved, not when hockey had to come first. He’d seen what a man putting his work over his relationship did, had watched his dad put everything before his mom, before his family . Connor knew how it had affected everything around him, and Connor didn’t want to be that person.
He’d wanted to ditch the gala and drive to Ashley’s. Whether he wanted to talk or pick up where they’d left off, he couldn’t seem to decide. He wished there was someone he could ask for advice from, but he quickly realized that the person he would’ve gone to for help understanding someone’s motives was Ashley herself.
It would be best to put it off until the next day. Maybe by then, Connor would have forgotten the scorching heat of Ashley’s skin under his fingertips.
He hadn’t. Connor’s dreams had been an extended montage of exactly how good Ashley had felt, how hungrily she’d kissed him and how much he’d wanted nothing more than to tear her dress out of the way and cover her with kisses.
A cold shower had helped, but Connor’s head still felt full of too many conflicting things. There was no training to focus his mind, because everyone was expected to be hungover, so Connor headed to the gym.
He pushed himself hard, setting three new personal bests and finishing with another cold shower. He’d hoped that if he ignored his phone for long enough, Ashley might call. But she hadn’t, and Connor spent the evening losing at Mario Kart .
The next day, Ashley had arranged for them to go to a baseball game. She had said that it would look good for him to support Madison’s other athletes. Connor had thought about calling, but he didn’t want to hear that Ashley had changed her mind about joining him. Instead, he turned up at her place with just about enough time for them to drive over to the pitch.
He’d half expected her to still be in her dress because that’s how he’d been picturing her since the gala. He didn’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved that she was instead wearing a t-shirt and jeans. Even dressed casually, the curve of her waist made Connor ache to touch her again. Fuck .
“Hi.”
“Hey,” Ashley greeted and Connor was almost startled . Like somehow he hadn’t expected her to just... act as if things were normal. He wasn’t sure what he had expected but something . “I just need my bag,” Ashley said making this somehow even more surreal. It didn’t take her long to get her handbag and for them to start walking towards Connor’s car. Glancing at her, Connor could see that unlike at the gala, Ashley hadn’t bothered to cover her soulmark.
He was so distracted by her that Connor almost missed her question and had to pause to recall it. “I asked if you’re the sort of guy who gets snacks at a baseball game,” Ashley repeated clearly sensing that Connor hadn’t been listening.
It felt weird to act as if nothing had happened. Connor wondered if he should say something. He didn’t know what , and after all, didn’t Connor want things to go back to the way they’d been before the gala? He enjoyed spending time with Ashley, he liked having a fake girlfriend to keep the fans and the press at a distance. Right now, it seemed like Ashley was offering to keep giving him those things.
“Is there any other sort of guy?” Connor asked, and though he tried to make it sound like a joke, it didn’t quite work. It felt like there was a wall between them, something unspoken keeping them apart. It hurt to think that was how Ashley wanted it to be, and Connor found himself pulling back from their previous sort of chat.
“So, do I need to explain the rules of baseball, too?” he asked.
“Ha ha,” Ashley said dryly as they got into the car. “I know the rules of baseball. All-American sport? Hockey seems more... niche,” she announced and it took a moment for Connor to realize that she was teasing . When Ashley saw Connor get it, she gave him a wide grin. “Now, basketball, I don’t understand at all.”
“Really?” Connor asked, feeling as though he’d lost all ability to distinguish when Ashley was joking. “Basketball seems pretty simple - get the ball through the hoop and you score.” It was probably more complicated than that. Connor had watched a few games with friends and following that much was enough to know who was winning if nothing else.
As he started the car, Connor glanced sideways at Ashley. He realized he was waiting for her to say something. To explain what had happened, because Connor sure as hell didn’t understand it. He almost opened his mouth to ask, but any question he could think of just seemed stupid.
So, Connor did his best to take his cue from Ashley, putting the whole thing behind them. “You said you didn’t grow up with hockey but were you into other sports?”
“My dad’s a big fan of football and soccer,” Ashley answered and it was almost bothersome just how easily she seemed to be having this conversation. “He’s English, my dad, so he’s always followed a particular soccer team. There’s a lot of pictures of me in tiny soccer shirts as a baby,” she laughed. It was nice to hear that, to hear her laughing.
“I’m guessing it was always hockey, hockey, hockey in your house?”
“Not at first,” Connor answered, thinking back to his very first days discovering hockey. “Neither of my parents were really into it. Mom didn’t care much about sports, and dad’s always been a fan of college football. Maisy was the one who wanted to learn to skate, so mom took us both to lessons.”
Connor had objected at first because there’d been no other boys in the class, but then he’d got out onto the ice, and he’d loved it. He opened his mouth to tell Ashley about the first time he’d seen a junior hockey game, and then stopped. Reporters weren’t going to ask her about what Connor had been like as a kid, so what would be the point in her having information she didn’t need?
“Mom’s into hockey now ,” Connor finished. “She just needed a reason.”
Ashley snorted, “Even I’m into hockey now.” And that was... yeah. She definitely sounded like she meant it, too. And Connor had seen her at the games. Now that Ashley knew the rules, she cheered along. He was pretty sure he’d once even spotted her shouting at the ref from the stands like a true hockey fan. It was striking to realize that was because of him . Ashley had learned about hockey for him and supported hockey because of him .
“Do you think you’ll keep watching it, after -” Connor faltered, surprised by just how much it hurt to think of this all being over. Ashley would move away, would probably forget all about Connor and hockey. He couldn’t expect to have any lasting impact on her life.
It made Connor sad because he wanted Ashley to remember him. He knew he would remember her, and that thought frightened him. Every time he changed the sticker over his soulmark, he was going to think of Ashley. Every time he would wonder what she was doing. At least until he met the Ashley, but Connor had never really believed that would happen, nor wanted it to.
Desperately needing to redirect, Connor coughed, and said, “There’re some okay teams in Texas.”
Ashley didn’t say anything for a moment and since Connor was driving he couldn’t exactly look at her. Not for long enough to even attempt to figure out what she was thinking, anyway. So he waited. Finally, Ashley cleared her throat and Connor could see her give a nod.
“I think I will,” she answered and Connor felt it was true . “I’ve come to like the coldness of the rink. It’s... I don’t know, it just feels good?” Ashley offered before shrugging slightly. “That probably sounds silly. Especially to you, I know you’re at an ice rink like every day
. It’s just... it’s new and I hadn’t really expected to enjoy the games as much as I do, but, yeah.”
Somehow, imagining Ashley at games without Connor was almost worse than imagining that she’d just forget hockey entirely. Connor could feel himself getting irritated at his own attitude. What was wrong with him? He and Ashley had made out, and it had been hot as hell, but that was no reason to let his head get all messed up. He had to focus.
He forced himself to smile, risking a glance at Ashley as they pulled up at a traffic light. “It doesn’t sound silly,” he promised, genuinely meaning the words. “I remember when I started skating. I felt like everything made sense at the rink, in a way it didn’t anywhere else.”
Now he was skating too close to topics he’d rather not discuss. Connor didn’t talk about what his home life had been like then. About how he and Maisy had loved escaping to the rink because it meant they got time with just them and their mom. Their dad had never come to watch, he’d always had better things to do.
“Even when there’s a fight, it feels… simple. You shout and you take whatever the other team has to give, and then you leave it on the ice.”
“Yeah,” Ashley nodded. The tone implied that there was more that she wanted to say about it but then she didn’t. Connor wasn’t very good at guessing what Ashley might be thinking but he also didn’t know if he could ask. If she’d answer. If he even wanted to hear whatever the answer was. The awkwardness between them seemed to linger.
It was only once Connor started driving again that Ashley spoke up. “Do you know the rules of baseball?”
For a moment, Connor considered telling Ashley he needed the rules explained, just to give them something safe to talk about for the rest of the drive. In the end he decided that it felt weird to outright lie to her.
“I know the rules of Little League,” Connor said honestly. “Is that basically the same?”
As it turned out, there were some differences, and Ashley was able to explain them. It struck Connor all over again, how nice it was that Ashley could tell him things he didn’t know without making Connor feel bad for his ignorance. It almost made him want to ask her to explain that night at the gala. Maybe if she could put her understanding into words, it would make Connor feel less weird about the whole thing.
Game Plan Page 10