I Don't Want to Be Friends

by Camilla Isley

Great. Haley groaned inwardly. I spend one night here with Scott and, of course, Madison had to bump into him the next morning.

  The front door slammed shut.

  “Think it’s her leaving?” Scott asked. “I hope I didn’t offend her. I assumed no one would be up this early.”

  “Don’t worry.” Haley turned and wrapped her arms around his neck, dropping her head on his chest and deciding to postpone the drama. Right now, all she wanted to do was enjoy her boyfriend being back after so many weeks apart and not brood over anything else, period. “I’m sure she’s not offended.”

  ***

  Several hours later, when the need for food overcame all other base needs—namely, sex and sleep—Haley and Scott finally emerged from her room, both completely dressed this time.

  Alice, her other roommate, was in the kitchen making a sandwich, and when she spotted Scott her eyes widened. “Oh, hello! When did you get back?”

  Scott waved. “Just last night.”

  They hugged. “Tired of all that sun and palms?” Alice joked.

  Scott let Alice go and wrapped an arm around Haley’s shoulders. “More missing what was at home.”

  “I bet.” Alice nodded understandingly. “You guys want a sandwich?”

  “Actually…” Scott scratched the back of his head. “I’d better go home, I barely set foot in last night. I don’t even think David knows I’m back.”

  David.

  The name sent a chilly current coursing down Haley’s spine. Their text exchange from last night scrolled through her mind.

  Want to grab a beer later?

  It’s not a date

  Okay, Miss Robot

  Let’s do it this way

  I’ll be at The Plough and Stars

  The Irish Pub down Mass Ave.

  At around 7

  If you feel like joining

  You know where to find me

  I’m not coming

  I’ll still be there

  In case you change your mind

  I won’t

  Never say never

  Gotta get back to work now

  See you later?

  Dammit. Had he been waiting for her all night? Well, she’d told David she wasn’t going, but he hadn’t believed her. And the truth was she would’ve gone if Scott hadn’t shown up unannounced on her doorstep. Haley imagined David waiting for her at the pub alone. She pictured his expression changing from cocky self-assurance when he first arrived, to bitter disappointment—anger?—as time passed and she didn’t show…

  “Hey, are you okay?” Scott asked her, frowning slightly.

  “Yeah,” Haley said. “Just a bit lightheaded. We skipped dinner and breakfast.”

  “Right. I got so used to skipping meals at the hospital, I don’t even notice anymore.”

  Alice arched a brow. “Aren’t doctors supposed to promote a healthy lifestyle?”

  “Besides being the worst patients, they’re also the worst role models for a decent life-work balance,” Scott said. “All right, I’m going.” He leaned in to kiss Haley on the forehead. “And you girls, don’t forget to eat your vegetables,” he joked.

  They all laughed, and Haley walked him to the front door.

  Scott paused on the threshold. “I’ll call you later, okay?”

  “Mmm-hmm.”

  He gave her a soft kiss on the lips and left. Haley shuffled back to the kitchen, climbed on a stool, and dropped her head on the bar.

  “Sandwich?” Alice asked, somewhat sarcastically.

  “Yes, please.”

  Haley heard a plate being placed next to her face and Alice climb on the stool beside her, but still, she didn’t rise up.

  “Okay, what’s with the desperation act?” her roommate asked. “Aren’t you happy Scott is back?”

  “Yeah,” Haley groaned, finally straightening. “Of course I am.”

  Alice made a “So what?” face.

  “It’s just that everything around us is so complicated.”

  Alice took a bite out of her sandwich and waited for her to elaborate.

  “This morning Scott walked out of the room for like… five seconds, and he bumped into Madison.”

  “Oh.”

  “From what I gathered, he was half-naked, and she was half-naked, and she didn’t take it very well. I always try not to sleep here with him. But last night…”

  “It’s okay, Haley.” Alice nudged the plate toward her. “Eat up. Madison knows you’re with Scott. Okay, bumping into him out of the blue might’ve been a shock, especially if she was wearing only underwear—you know how shy she is—but you have to stop the guilt tripping. You’re doing nothing wrong.”

  Haley chewed a bite of her tuna sandwich and found it difficult to swallow.

  “What else aren’t you telling me?”

  “David.”

  “Mmm… Not overjoyed his brother is back, huh? He had you all to himself for two months.”

  Alice’s words stung a little. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “Listen, Haley, I’m not Madison, and I have no beef with David, but even a blind person could see you two got close over the summer…”

  “So?”

  “I don’t know.” Alice shrugged. “You tell me, you brought him up.”

  “He asked me to go out for a drink yesterday, as friends…”

  “And?”

  “I said I wouldn’t go, but he’s impossible. He told me he’d be waiting for me anyway.”

  “And were you going to meet him?”

  Haley nodded.

  “And that’s when Scott showed up on your doorstep.”

  Haley nodded again.

  “And David spent all night waiting for you in a bar… And, let me guess, you feel guilty about that, too?”

  “I do. It’s like wherever I turn, my relationship with Scott is hurting someone. I’m uncomfortable here because of Madison, and now it’ll be horrible at his place, too, because of David.”

  “So David makes you uncomfortable… how?”

  “Not you, too.”

  “Sorry?”

  “First Madison, then my mother, and now you. I’m tired of people asking if I have feelings for David.”

  “Well, do you?”

  “I just said I don’t want to talk about it.”

  “But I think you do, and I’m the right person for the job.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m on your side. I don’t care which Williams brother you date, and I don’t care if you have feelings for both. Correction, I do care, because you’re my friend, but I don’t judge. You wouldn’t be the first girl who has feelings for two guys, and I’m not trying to be your moral compass, only a friend.”

  “Okay.”

  “Would it be easier if I asked questions?”

  “Yep.”

  “Okay, let’s start with the easy ones. You don’t hate David anymore, right?”

  Haley tried to fly back in time three months and summon up all the anger and contempt she’d felt whenever she’d thought about David… The jerk who’d treated Madison like a doormat. The lying bastard who’d made Scott accept the internship in California. But all those hard feelings had been gone for a long time.

  “No.”

  “And you consider him a friend, at the very least.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “But he likes you.”

  “It’s a little more complicated than that.”

  “How?”

  “He… might’ve said he’s in love with me.”

  Alice’s eyes bulged out. “What? When?”

  “Over the summer. Remember the mega storm right before the term ended?”

  Alice nodded.

  “He told me standing under the rain in the middle of Harvard Yard.”

  “Romantic much?”

  “Notebook worthy.”

  “And what did you say?”

  “Tha
t I love his brother.”

  “Oh, harsh! And he…?”

  “Promised he’d wait for me. For when I was ready to admit I have feelings for him, too.”

  “Well, I guess that brings us to the only question that matters. Do you have feelings for him?”

  Haley stared at her lap, shaking her head. “I wish I could tell you ‘no’ and mean it. But the truth is I don’t know anymore. The only thing I know for sure is I want to be with Scott.”

  Alice took her hands. “Well, then there’s only one thing you need to do.”

  “What?”

  “Make David understand that’s where you stand, with no more room for interpretation. It’d be cruel to give him false hope. Have you been one hundred percent clear with him?”

  “I—I…” Haley scrunched up her face into a dubious expression. “Ninety-five percent?”

  Alice squeezed her hands, giving her a “make sure you close that five percent gap” stare, and Haley nodded. She’d have to talk to David as soon as possible. What a great conversation to look forward to.

  Scott

  Scott entered his apartment and immediately caught a whiff of an out-of-place smell that, if he had to define it, he’d name: House After a Rave Party Eau De Toilette. But it made little sense; David wasn’t the type to throw house parties, and the place was too clean for a party to have happened recently, anyway.

  After dropping his wallet and keys on a low cabinet, Scott moved into the kitchen to get a glass of water. Here the stench worsened, the after-party smell mixing with the distinctive funk of something rotting. A quick glance around the kitchenette, and the source of the mystery stink was easily explained.

  Six empty shot glasses stood arranged in a neat row on the counter. Scott lifted one and sniffed it: vodka. So, apparently, his brain associated vodka with house parties. That made sense. But the weirdest discovery was a bag of frozen peas left unopened to melt under the direct sunlight filtering in through the window.

  Scott picked the bag up, which went all limp and mushy in his hand, and he had to suppress a gagging reflex as he sealed it inside several trash bags. He closed each up with three or four tight knots to prevent the stink from coming out and dropped the bundle into the bin. He’d take it downstairs later.

  What the hell had happened here? Why would David get drunk on vodka and leave a bag of frozen peas to rot on the counter? Sometimes his brother was really mysterious.

  After opening the window to let fresh air in, he stacked up the tiny glasses and dropped them in the sink, where he found an empty bottle of vodka. Yeah, David must’ve had quite a night. Shrugging, he threw the bottle into the glass bin, rinsed the glasses, and put them in the dishwasher. Then he decided he’d better check on his brother.

  David’s door was ajar, and Scott approached cautiously. If David didn’t know he was back, he could have a girl in there. Why use six shot glasses unless he was playing some sort of game? David wouldn’t be drinking that much on his own, would he? Six vodka shots seemed a bit over the top even for him. But a quick peek inside David’s room confirmed that they were alone in the house.

  His brother was lying on the bed, face down and fully clothed—white T-shirt, jeans, white sneakers—very much with the air of someone who had drunk half a bottle of vodka on his own the previous night.

  He lay so still that Scott wondered if he was breathing. A soft poke to David’s side produced a loud snore, confirming he was alive. Scott shook his head. What the hell, bro? He seriously considered leaving David “as is,” but then he’d just be bothered by the image of his brother’s poor bedding situation.

  So, with a sigh, Scott decided to undress him using a bottom-up approach, starting with the shoes. Mid-disrobing, he noticed the swollen, caked-in-dried-blood knuckles of David’s left hand. Had he been in a fight? With whom? Scott shook his head and continued rolling David left and right to remove his clothes. When he had him in his boxer briefs and T-shirt, his brother finally stirred awake.

  “Scotty,” David said with a slur. “Welcome home, brother.”

  Scott struggled with David’s limbs to tuck him under the sheets. “Missed me?” he asked sarcastically.

  “Threw a party in your honor last night.”

  “Really?”

  “Yep, I had so much fun.”

  “I see,” Scott said, playing along. David was too delirious right now to be making any sense. “How about I get you an aspirin?”

  “Stop being so fucking nice,” David said, angry all of a sudden.

  His brother struggled to straighten up, but as soon as he managed to right himself into a sitting position, he must’ve become dizzy because he collapsed back on the pillow.

  “I don’t feel so good,” David concluded.

  No shit, Scott thought.

  “Wait here,” he said. “I’m gonna get you that aspirin and something to clean the hand.”

  Without waiting for a reply, Scott moved into the bathroom, took the pills and disinfectant out of the cabinet above the sink, and returned to the kitchen to get a glass of water. Before heading back to David’s room, he grabbed his phone out of his pocket and dialed Haley’s number.

  Haley

  “Miss me already?” Haley said, picking up the phone.

  “Yeah, of course,” Scott said.

  “But that’s not why you called.”

  “No, it’s that… I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come here tonight. I know I just got back, but—”

  “Why?” Haley asked, her stomach contracting with a sneaking suspicion.

  “It’s David.” Scott sounded worried. “I’ve never seen him like this.”

  The knot in Haley’s guts tightened. “Like what?”

  “He’s stinking drunk, and he’s babbling about throwing me a ‘welcome home’ party last night. Totally insane. All I can tell you is that I found an empty bottle of vodka in the sink and David passed out on his bed. I think he got into a fight with someone.”

  Haley swallowed. Oh gosh, it sounded worse than she’d thought. If David had known Scott was back, he’d also have known why she’d stood him up last night.

  “In a fight?” Haley asked. “Why would you say that?”

  “Because his right hand looks like he’s put it through a meat-grinder.”

  “Oh.”

  Haley couldn’t explain the injury. She only hoped David hadn’t done anything stupid.

  “Listen,” Scott continued. “I’d better go check on him, but you stay home. He’s already moody enough. One second he’s all peace and love, and the next he gets angry for no reason. David’s not a very good drunk.”

  No kidding.

  “Okay,” Haley agreed. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then?”

  “Yeah, I’ll call you when I wake up. Love you. Bye.”

  “Bye.”

  As Haley hung up, the front door opened and Madison walked in.

  Oh, hell… let’s jump from one broken heart right onto the next…

  “Hi,” her roommate said, smiling.

  Not the reaction Haley had expected.

  “Hey?”

  “So big surprise last night, huh?”

  Madison was acting as if she didn’t care at all. She was all sparkly eyes and bright smiles, making Haley’s chest surge with gratitude. Madison really was the best friend in the world. If their parts were reversed, Haley wasn’t sure she’d be able to be so gracious.

  “Yeah.” Haley finally allowed herself a tentative smile. “Heard you had a little surprise yourself this morning. I’m sorry, I—”

  “Oh, that… Pffff…” Madison waved her off and turned to hang her bag on the rack behind the door. “I’ll admit I wasn’t expecting to run into Scott…” Madison kept fidgeting with the bag a while longer than necessary. To hide her face while she talked? “It was… weird. Didn’t expect a boy in here. I was half asleep and probably made no sense.”

  Madison turned at last, pi
nk cheeks bright with embarrassment, but softened by a no-big-deal smile.

  “So you’re not upset?” Haley asked.

  “No. Nooo. I mean, it was awkward…” She shrugged. “But that’s it.”

  Madison’s eyes sent Haley a clear message that her friend probably wasn’t able to express in words—a silent plea of “Can we pretend this never happened and that I’m not in love with your boyfriend?”

  Haley nodded, agreeing to Madison’s unspoken request. Deciding to change the subject, she said, “Hey, what are you doing tonight?”

  “No plans yet. There’s a book presentation at a bookstore downtown I’d like to see, but I don’t feel like going all the way to Boston alone.”

  “Why don’t we go together? We can hit the event and then stop for a bite somewhere.”

  “Are you sure?” Madison looked hesitant. “Don’t you want to be with Scott?”

  “Scott’s having David problems.”

  “David problems?” Madison frowned. “Already?”

  “Uh-huh. Let’s get ready first, and then I’ll tell you everything?”

  “All right. Meet here in twenty?”

  “Yeah.” Haley pulled Madison into a hug and added, “Thank you.”

  “For what?”

  “For being the best friend in the world.” Haley held her tighter.

  Madison squeezed hard, too, and in that simple gesture, they shared another million unspoken words.

  Three

  Haley

  By the next morning, Haley was dying to see Scott and itching to learn if David had pulled any more drunken stunts. She woke up way earlier than usual for a non-school day and managed not to call Scott right away. For the better part of the morning, she kept herself busy with mundane tasks she usually postponed until they became super urgent. She sorted the alarming pile of both dirty laundry—to wash—and clean laundry—to put back in the closet—she had accumulated before visiting her parents, then cleaned her room and emptied the suitcase she hadn’t had a chance to unpack yet. She figured she might as well get all those things sorted before school started and she got too busy.

  But when by eleven-thirty Scott still hadn’t called, Haley’s patience had officially run out. Her bedroom was cleaner than when she’d first moved in, and she’d even done the kitchen and bathroom. With no more housekeeping distractions available, she grabbed her phone and called her boyfriend.