Finding Me

by Stella Rainbow

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah,” Brady said hoarsely and I had to bite back a chuckle as I pulled the knife out of his hand. I turned him so he was facing me before wiping the tears away. I glanced at the onions—unevenly cut as they were—and bit back another smile.

  “Why don’t you just keep me company while I cook?” I offered and he narrowed his eyes at me before slumping.

  “Alright.” As I moved his cutting board towards me, he jumped up on the counter and got comfortable, as if he planned on sitting there while I cooked. I was totally okay with that.

  “Watcha cooking, then?”

  “Burst Tomato Pasta. I think you’ll like it.”

  “Oooh, sounds yummy! I don’t really want to talk about work on our date, but have you enjoyed working at the café this week?”

  I gave him a smile as I finished prepping all the vegetables and nodded, “Oh, I love it. Thank you so much.”

  Brady shook his head at me as he spoke, “I’m the one who should be saying thank you. Business is booming because of your specials. Since there are so many workplaces around our café, your food has become a hot commodity. I’m so glad I snatched you up.”

  I blushed as I busied myself with cooking. We talked about our favorite movies, TV shows and all the get-to-know-each-other things. I was pleasantly surprised by how much we had in common—the love for marvel movies, the dislike for everything that had to do with sports—and I couldn’t wait to get to know everything there was to know about Brady.

  Once dinner was ready, Brady brought out two TV trays from the cupboard and grabbed two beers. I dished the food and then we made our way into the living room. We decided on a marvel movie—of course we did—and got comfortable on the couch with our food. Cherry, who’d been quietly sleeping on her bed for the past few hours perked up at our presence and scrambled onto the couch, settling down between us and eyeing our food. I avoided looking at her because I knew I’d give in to her puppy eyes and let her have some food if I did.

  We ate in comfortable silence as we watched the movie, Brady expressing his love for Loki every time he showed up on the screen. “You know, if Tom ever showed interest in me, I’d dump you so fast,” Brady said, giving me a serious look, though I could see the twinkle in his eyes.

  “Honestly? I’d probably fight you for him,” I told him with a raised brow, loving the way Brady’s eyes widened in surprise before he grinned at me. Then he got this wicked look in his eyes and I knew he was going to say something weird or embarrassing.

  “Or we could just share him,” He offered and I almost choked on my drink. Holy hell, this man would be the death of me.

  Brady shuffled closer to me, taking my empty tray and placing it on the floor with his. Cherry jumped off the couch to investigate them, giving Brady the perfect opportunity to snuggle into me. I held him to me as he looked up and grinned at me, “Did you like my idea?”

  I drank the last of my beer as I wondered what to say. In the end, I settled for a quiet, “Hmmm…I don't think I could ever share you with anyone else.”

  "Yeah, even thinking about sharing you makes me want to break out in hives."

  "Good," I said and Brady chuckled at me before snuggling closer and we cuddled on the couch as we watched the movie, Brady spooned up against me as Cherry lay on his other side. It was perfect. I couldn’t imagine anything better than what I was doing right now and I couldn’t believe I’d lived so long without getting to experience this. But now that I had it, I never wanted to let go. We’d barely kissed tonight except for when Brady had pressed his lips to mine, and though I’d love to do that again, I felt just as happy lying here with Brady.

  When the credits started rolling, I wanted to grab the remote and play another movie so I wouldn’t have to leave. But I knew I had to. “I guess it’s time for me to go, huh?”

  Brady sat up on the couch and gave me a small smile. “We’ll see each other tomorrow.”

  I nodded as I followed suit. That was true. I’d be up and at the café early tomorrow morning. We wouldn’t really be apart for all that long. The thought gave me the energy to get up. I stretched my arms as I worked out the cramps. Cuddling on the couch was not good for my body, it seemed, but I couldn’t care less.

  Brady walked me to the door and just before I could open it, he turned me around, pressing me against the door as he looked up at me with a smile. “Can I have a goodbye kiss, Charlie?”

  I nodded as I licked my dry lips. That was all the invitation Brady needed before he curled his palm around the back of my neck, his fingers tangling in my hair as he pulled me closer and pressed his lips to mine. Those fireworks you always read about in romance novels? They were all there, sparking up every time Brady’s lips moved around mine. I moaned as he tugged at my lower lip with his teeth, giving him the chance to swoop his tongue into my mouth. His tongue explored my mouth and I followed his lead, tasting beer and the sweet taste of him. God, he was such a good kisser. I loved the way he just took control, the way he dominated my mouth and my body, making it do whatever he wanted it to. Blood rushed to my groin, heating me up in all the best ways as he nibbled on my lower lip again before trailing kisses down my jaw and behind my ear until he reached my pulse point. There, Brady feasted on my skin, his teeth nipping at my skin and his tongue soothing the sting before it could hurt too much. I knew he’d be leaving a mark and the idea sent a thrill racing down my spine, raising goosebumps on my arms.

  I groaned when he finally pulled away because I didn’t want to stop. Fuck taking it slow. I wanted him now.

  Brady smiled at me cheekily, his eyes full of lust, desire and a bit of mischief as he pulled me towards him again for a softer, gentler kiss. “We should stop,” he mumbled against my lips and I shook my head, too out of it to make words happen. If kissing Brady could make me feel like this, what would it feel like when we went further? When he took me the way I wanted him to?

  Brady obviously had the better self-control because he pulled away, running a hand through his tousled hair as he adjusted himself without hesitation, making me blush down to my toes. I was hard and aching too, and I knew I’d be going home and jerking off to the feel of Brady’s lips, his tongue and his teeth.

  “Alright, I’m leaving,” I said hoarsely. “I had a lot of fun today. Thank you for planning such a fun date. My turn next time?” I asked, a hopeful note in my voice.

  Brady grinned at me. “I can’t wait to see what you come up with.”

  With a smile, I leaned down and gave Brady a small peck on the lips before finally making my way out because I knew if I stayed another minute, I wouldn’t be able to leave at all.

  12 | Brady

  “You know, business has been booming ever since you hired Charlie,” Kasey said as she slid closer to me, wiping the counter as she did.

  I grinned at her, glad my plan had worked out for the best. “I know, right? They’re a phenomenal chef.”

  “That they are. Where did you even find them?”

  “Um, don’t you remember? They were stalking me? You’d point them out every time they came in?”

  “Holy shit, that was them? What the fuck are you doing giving your stalker a job? And aren’t you two dating?”

  I chuckled at her scandalized expression. Kasey was a few inches taller than me and right now, with her amber eyes wide in disbelief and her brown hair falling all over her face, she looked adorable. “They weren’t actually stalking me, obviously. They just needed some help. They’re awesome, don’t worry. How’s Hailey, by the way? Getting along okay with the new babysitter?”

  “Oh, they get along like a house on fire. I’m so glad I found Mayra when I did. She’s so good with her.” Kasey’s voice was full of relief, and I was glad she’d finally found someone good to take care of her three year old daughter. The poor woman worked two jobs to make sure her daughter had everything she needed, and I wished I could help her. I already planned on giving her a promotion next month, but sometimes I wished I
could help her more.

  My phone buzzed in my pocket, pulling me out of my thoughts. My brows rose in surprise when I saw it was Charlie. Why were they texting me from the kitchen?

  Ceebee: Hey, would you like to go out for dinner tonight? I wanted to do something special for your birthday.

  Damn, I’d almost hoped they would forget it was my birthday. Not that I minded, but I didn’t particularly enjoy celebrating it. I was of the firm belief that you should spend every day like it’s your last.

  Me: You know I’d be just as happy if we cooked something together, right?

  Over the past couple of weeks, Charlie had started becoming more and more comfortable in presenting themselves the way they wanted to. They’d added eyeliners to their wardrobe and I felt so proud at how quickly they’d mastered the art. They were also more likely to wear long shirts or jackets with leggings and boots now. They’d had a few more masculine days when they’d dressed in what I called their boring clothes—they looked smoking hot in them too, of course. They hadn’t yet had a feminine day and I knew there was a possibility they might not have it at all, or they might not be as comfortable with that part of themselves just yet, but I knew I’d be there for them regardless.

  We’d gone on a couple more dates too, and though we hadn’t gone past making out yet, Charlie was still the best partner I’d ever had. They were attentive and they wanted the same things I did. They were so sweet and gentle and I absolutely adored them already.

  Ceebee: I know. But I’ve heard a lot of good things about this place and I kinda already made reservations?

  Because of course it was a restaurant that took reservations. I’d quickly discovered that Charlie was very picky about the places they ate at. I wasn’t sure if it was because of their upbringing—you know, rich people only eating at five star restaurants kinda deal—or because they were a chef and thereby, a food snob. It was a little annoying, especially when they didn’t want to go someplace I’d heard only good things about, but then again, it was also adorable how passionate they were about food.

  Realizing I was taking too long to reply, I tapped out a quick answer.

  Me: Alright. But only if you promise there will be no gifts. I don’t want you buying things for me.

  Charlie: I promise I didn’t buy you anything for your birthday.

  Me: Good. Then we’re on.

  Charlie: Reservations at 7. Pick you up at 6:30?

  Me: Perfect. Now, get to work before your boss catches you on your phone during work hours.

  Ceebee: Will he punish me if he did? XD

  I stared at the message for a few seconds. Saying I was surprised would be an understatement.

  Me: Would you want him to?

  Ceebee: Maybe…

  I swallowed hard, suddenly feeling too hot in my clothes as I looked around. I wasn’t sure what I was looking for. An excuse to sneak into the kitchen so I could find out exactly what Charlie wanted?

  Kasey raised a brow at me as she gave me a once over and I ducked my head because I knew my cheeks were flushed. Did Charlie really mean that? Were they saying what I thought they were?

  Me: This is not the place for this convo, but I def want to talk more about it. Later, okay?

  Ceebee: Okay. <3

  The heart emoji made me grin as I put my phone back into my pocket and tried to get back to work, even as a part of my mind dwelled over what exactly Charlie was interested in and what all I might get to do with them. Tonight was going to be so much fun.

  I’d just finished making sure my hair looked perfect and I was ready to go when there was a knock at the front door. Cherry’s excited barks told me exactly who it was and I opened the door with a wide grin to see Charlie standing there with a bunch of roses in their hand. It was a testament to how well they really knew me that the roses were red, yellow, pink and even orange in color. Charlie seemed to know that singular color was not my thing.

  Since Charlie had said they’d made a reservation, I’d assumed we were going somewhere upscale, so I was dressed in one of my less…flaunty clothes. I wore a soft blue, button-down shirt with sleeves that ended above my elbow and had a glitter lining—because of course I couldn’t wear something completely dull—and dark-blue skinny jeans that I knew made my ass look good. I did not want to look unlike myself, so I’d paired the outfit with black heels that made it so I was almost nose-to-chin with Charlie.

  Charlie, on the other hand, was dressed in what I’d deemed as their style. They wore a long, black top that ended at their mid-thighs with a light gray cashmere coat that I really wanted to touch and see if it was as soft as it looked. They’d paired the outfit with black leggings and ankle boots and they looked absolutely phenomenal. I loved watching them explore and find their style and these clothes suited them perfectly.

  “You look stunning, Charlie,” I told them and I couldn’t hide my smile as a soft blush spread across their cheeks. They looked me up and down, their gaze slowly perusing every inch of me and making me shiver.

  “You look so sexy.”

  I smiled widely at them as I took the flowers, breathing in the faint scent. I was surprised that the fragrance was natural and not the artificial kind.

  “Thank you. Let me just put them in a vase and then we can go. Tell me about this restaurant we’re going to.” I walked over to the vase I kept on the cabinet near the flat screen and peeked in, glad there was water in it and I wouldn’t have to waste time filling it. I put the flowers in and took a last sniff before turning to face Charlie again.

  They scratched their beard, something I’d realized was a nervous tic of theirs, as they spoke, “Uh, it’s a four star Italian restaurant, Il Piacere. It’s got great ratings and I've wanted to check it out for a while now.”

  “Sounds good. I did feel like some Italian. How about a walk in the park or something afterward? It seems like a good night to be outside.” August had arrived, so the nights were starting to cool down a bit. They still weren’t as cold as I liked them to be, but it’d be cool enough to take a walk.

  “A walk sounds perfect.”

  “Great. Let’s go then.”

  “Wait,” Charlie said, grabbing my hand before I moved away. My eyes flicked up to theirs, loving the closeness between us thanks to my heels and Charlie leaned closer, pulling me into a gentle kiss. The kiss was full of care, want and a promise of something good. It was sweet and yet it made my heart race in my chest as they pulled me closer. Charlie rarely took control of the kiss, but now that they were doing it, I didn’t want to stop.

  “Happy birthday,” they whispered against my lips, their warm breath washing over me. They kissed me again, a chaste one this time, before pulling away.

  “Let’s go,” they said and I wanted to tell them I would. I’d follow them anywhere.

  13 | Charlie

  I chewed my lips nervously as I parked the car. The last time we’d gone on a date in a restaurant, it hadn’t ended all that well. I’d tried to wear my old clothes in an attempt to fit in and only made myself more uncomfortable. In the end, we’d ended up going home, though Brady hadn’t been the slightest bit annoyed with me.

  Today was Brady’s birthday though and I wanted this night to be perfect. I’d worn one of my favorite outfits and I was prepared to deal with anything that came at us. I wouldn’t give anything the chance to ruin this night for us. “Wait here, please,” I told Brady before climbing out of the car. By now, he knew what I intended to do, so he just grinned when I opened his car door and extended my hand.

  “Thank you, sweetie,” Brady murmured as he took my hand and I shot him a smile as we walked to the entrance.

  The hostess gave us a polite smile as she inquired, “Do you have a reservation, sir?”

  I’d been prepared to hear the honorific and I let it roll off me as I returned her smile. “Yes, we do. It’s under De Luca.”

  The hostess checked her file and nodded before waving someone over. “Amelia will lead you to your table. Enjoy yo
ur dinner!”

  An older woman walked over to us, a frown marring her face as soon as she saw our joined hands. Brady rolled his eyes at me and I grinned as she wordlessly led us to a cute little table in the corner. It was away from the closest tables enough that we could talk without getting overheard and the setting itself was pretty romantic, with a candle burning in a bowl of water and a small vase with a rose set in the center of the table.

  I pulled Brady’s chair out for him and he grinned at me before taking a seat. I gave him a peck on his cheek before taking my seat. The woman—Amy? Mia?—had disappeared already and I frowned, shaking my head at the shitty service.

  “I’m so sorry about Amelia, she’s an old hag. My name’s Blue and I’ll be your-Oh, hey Brady!”

  I turned to look at our server—a twenty-something woman with short, spiky hair that was dyed blue—who apparently knew my boyfriend. I didn’t know I had a possessive side until I saw Brady grinning at her and felt a strange, acidic burn in the pit of my stomach. I looked between the two of them, wondering how they knew each other when Brady started speaking, “Hey, Blue! I didn’t realize you worked here. Meet my partner, Charlie.”

  I smiled at her politely as I waited for Brady to tell me how he knew her. I knew Brady had probably dated more than a few people in the past—unlike me—and I knew I had no reason to be jealous, either. But I still wanted to know.

  “Charlie, Blue is a member of Voice Out. Actually, ze is a part of the support group I told you about.” My smile turned more genuine once Brady told me where he knew Blue from and I immediately felt guilty for how I’d acted. I also noted the pronoun Brady had used for Blue, hoping I’d remember it correctly.