Greatest MC Romance Box Set

by Blair Grey

  “Avia, what are you doing to yourself?” She ran one hand over my head. “You’re a mess. Look at you. Can’t you brush your hair without me doing it for you? Can’t you have the sense to stay out of a storm without me telling you not to go outside when it’s about to rain?”

  “Mom?” I took her hand, putting it against my face. “Mom, is it really you?”

  “Of course, it’s really me, Avia. How foolish of you to ask such a thing. Such a foolish child, you are. And sloppy. Sloppy, foolish, and boring. So, so boring. All you do is read and write. You never do anything fun. You’re dull, Avia. From the color of your hair to those ugly green eyes, you are dull.”

  “Mom?” I asked. “Can’t you say something nice to me?”

  With her finger on her chin, she looked as if she had to think about something nice about me. “It’s nice when you go to bed. I like it when you’re in bed and I can do whatever I want to.” Her chest rose then fell as she looked at me with disappointment in her blue eyes. “All I ever wanted was a daughter who looked like me. Blonde hair and blue eyes, a nice shape, and a sparkling personality are all I ever wanted in a child. But you – you had to come out looking and acting like your stupid father.”

  “Mom, what about my father? Where is he? Who is he? Did you ever tell him about me?” My heart pounded and ached, and I thought I might be about to pass out.

  “He was a mistake. Why would I tell him that I was pregnant if I never wanted anything else to do with the man? Surely, you don’t expect me to have to deal with that ugly bastard just for your sake. How selfish of you, Avia. Utterly selfish. You deserve to be sitting out here in the cold. You deserve to feel guilty and horrible for everything. You ruined my life. Why shouldn’t you live a ruined life yourself?”

  “I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t mean to be this way.” My lower lip quivered as sobs built inside of me once again.

  “It’s not all your fault. Your father is the one I blame the most. He caught me in a weak moment. One where I’d had too much to drink and looked at him with beer goggles on. For the matter of one hour, I thought he was the most handsome man in the world. And then I began to sober up and hurried away. But I ended up with you.”

  Blinking as the rain and tears stung my eyes, I asked, “Do you think I was a mistake?”

  “Mistake?” she looked me in the eyes. “Really?”

  Nodding, I asked again, “Do you think I was a mistake, Mom?”

  “Mistake?”

  “Mistake?” came a man’s voice. “You think you’re a mistake, Avia?” I turned back to find Lyle had the door opened again. “Come inside. No one is out here. Who were you talking too?”

  When I looked back, my mother was no longer there. But I saw the bent and broken black umbrella twirling up into the sky. It went up and up until I couldn’t see it anymore.

  The rain stopped and a beam of sunshine split the dark clouds into two pieces. Then many beams came through those pieces, spreading sunshine until everything was clear and birds sang as butterflies fluttered around me.

  Running my hands over my dry clothes, I looked at them as students began coming out of the school in droves, nearly knocking me down as they hurried away.

  A hand caught my wrist, dragging me back inside. Alone, Lyle and I stood in the hallway.

  My eyes went to his hand that had my wrist clutched in it. “Get your hand off me, Lyle Franklin.”

  “You and I have a date. Don’t you remember?” he asked. “Come on. My car’s over here.”

  I jerked my arm. “It’ll be a cold day in Hell before I get into a car with you.” But it didn’t come free of his tight grip.

  “Then consider it a cold day in hell, baby because you are coming with me,” he said as if it were true.

  I hated that boy. “Don’t call me, baby. I am not your baby.” With a solid jerk, I freed myself and ran away from him.

  But he caught up to me easily and pushed me against the wall, holding me there with his body pressed against mine. “You sure you don’t want me to call you, baby?”

  “Positive!” I’d never been more sure of anything in my life. “Let me go! Now!”

  “Oh, I’ll let you go.” Pulling open the door next to me, he shoved me into a dark and tiny space. “You happy now, Avia?”

  “Lyle, stop it! Let me out!” I screamed as fear filled me that he’d leave me there.

  “Baby, Avia.” My body shook. “Wake up. You’re talking in your sleep. You’re having a bad dream.”

  Gasping for air, I opened my eyes as I scratched at my arms as the skin on them itched. “I – I.” There was Lyle Franklin’s face, looking at me with concern and worry. “I don’t know if I can do this with you, Lyle. I just don’t know if I can do it.”

  Being with him is bringing up terrible memories that I’d like to forget completely. I can’t do this.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Lyle

  “Are you still asleep?” I asked her to be sure she’d meant what she’d said.

  “I’m not asleep. I’m awake.” She wiped tears out of her eyes. “And I’ve just had a nightmare that is telling me that my subconscious isn’t going to allow me to have a happily ever after with you.” She ran her arms around her body, hugging herself as her lips quivered. “I had a dream about my mother too. It was awful. A conglomerate of different times she said mean things to me came up. Hearing them all at one time made it feel like she’d hit me with a brick.”

  “I don’t know what that has to do with me and you, Avia.” I got up and went to put my pants on. “It’s morning. The sun’s up. We should get out of bed anyway.” I didn’t like the way I felt at all. Like I was at her mercy. Like she held all the cards and I had nothing to hold.

  “I – I’m sorry, Lyle. I really am. You’ve done so much to help me, and I owe you my life. But I can’t.”

  Turning to face her, I held up my hands as I interrupted her, “Hey. No need to say it again. I get it. Your dream was bad.” She’d been mumbling the same words over and over, let me out, let me out. I’d heard her say those words before, a little over fifteen years before.

  The day I locked her in the closet, she’d cried those words out. And now she didn’t want to be with me anymore. I had no idea why I had thought things could ever work out for us.

  There were too many things I’d done wrong to her for us to work. “So, your mom said mean things to you in this dream that she’d said to you in real life?” I wanted to stop both of us thinking about how things had been between us back then. “I didn’t know she was mean to you. What kinds of things did she say to you? Did she spank you a lot? Or did she beat you?”

  “She didn’t beat me. And I can’t recall even one spanking. It was more like she left the room when I came into one. And she didn’t think I was pretty.”

  I had a hard time believing that. “You’ve got the most amazing eyes I’ve ever seen. You’re a very beautiful woman and you were a pretty teenager.”

  “Well, she was blonde and blue-eyed, and I looked like my father – a man I’ve never seen, and I don’t even know his name. She refused to tell me anything about him – other than she’d made a mistake by having sex with him the one time they did, and she got knocked up.”

  “A mistake?” I asked. “She called you a mistake?”

  “She never actually called me a mistake. But what would anyone think if their mother said that having sex with their father was a mistake? She’d said that many times too. Letting that man fuck me was the worst mistake of my life, she’d whine to her friends. If it hadn’t produced me, I doubt she would’ve said a thing about having sex with him. Don’t you?”

  “So, she never gave you even a hint about who he is?” I had to wonder if he was also from Baltimore. “Was she originally from here?”

  “Yeah. Her parents moved her from Alaska when she was around ten, I think is what she said. So, she was living here when I was produced. But I don’t know if the guy was from here or not. She never told him she was pregnan
t. I would assume if he was from here, then he might’ve seen her around and asked about her weight gain. So, I think he’s from somewhere else. She thought he was ugly. She blamed being drunk on letting him screw her.”

  “Wow. And I thought I had a terrible childhood.” It made me feel a little better about my life. At least Dad never called me ugly and wished he’d never banged my mother.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Avia

  As I showered away the scent of Lyle and I combined, I couldn’t help but feel guilty over the way I’d told him that I couldn’t be with him anymore. “You are an asshole, Avia Forester.”

  Sure, the dream I had pointed to the fact that I couldn’t get over what he’d done to me. But it had also pointed out the fact that my mother wasn’t exactly nice to me either.

  Was I born just to be a victim?

  That thought didn’t sit well with me. As I rinsed the conditioner out of my hair, I found some resolve within myself. I wouldn’t be a victim anymore. Not even a little.

  Turning off the water, I wrapped myself in a towel, then threw open the bathroom door to find Lyle wasn’t in the bedroom any longer. So, I went to the bedroom door and threw it open. And there he was, sitting on the sofa while looking at his cell phone.

  His eyes moved up my body then landed on mine. “You look like you have something you’d like to get off your chest.”

  “I’m sorry that I said that stuff to you this morning. I don’t want to be a victim anymore. And that means that I don’t want to be a victim of my insecurities.”

  He stood, his jaw tight, and his eyes slightly glazed. “If you’re about to say that you want to erase what you said, that can’t really be done. I heard the words and they affected me. So, if you want to keep having sex with me, the answer to that is, no. Now, I will continue to take care of you and this situation that you’re in. But there won’t be any more physical stuff between us. At least not until you’ve had some time to heal. But maybe never again, Avia. You did just kill the man you were supposed to marry. That takes a toll on a person.”

  My chest had never felt so heavy. I’ve ruined everything. It seems that’s all I can do is ruin things.

  Turning away from him because I couldn’t stand to see that look of pity in his blue eyes, I slunk back to the bedroom, closing the door behind me.

  Guess I’m not done being the victim after all.

  What did I expect Lyle would do?

  I’d told him that I couldn’t be with him. I didn’t stop to think about what that would make him feel like. I’m sure it left him with insecurities too. I’m sure he felt like he had to guard his heart against me and my wishy-washy ways.

  Sitting at the end of the bed, I tried not to cry. It made me sick how weak, insecure, and indecisive I was. Most people had their shit together by the time they were my age. When people hit their mid-thirties I’d thought their brains had finally grown into an adult brain that understood all and knew how to make great decisions for themselves and others.

  I guess the adult brain is only a myth. Just like Santa, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy, and happily ever endings. There aren’t any real happily ever afters and there never will be.

  I did a little internal computing.

  I wasn’t meant to be here. I was a drunken mistake my mother made. But does that have to define me forever?

  Thinking of my strong points, I knew I’d made good grades in school. So I wasn’t stupid. If I could learn about all sorts of subjects, I sure as hell could learn how to stop being insecure.

  I could go back to being a computer tech and make my own living. If I get to live.

  Shaking the negative thought off, I had to look at only the positives. I will get to live.

  I needed Lyle’s help so much at that point that it was a given that I had to keep staying with him. But I didn’t have to keep falling into him the way I had been.

  In a way, the sex and attraction were things that kept me from thinking – the same way one would use alcohol or drugs to keep their mind off things that bothered them.

  I had to face facts. I had to figure things out. And I had to do that with a sober mind. Not some mind filled with lust and attraction for Lyle - or any man for that matter. I had to get back to that feisty girl who’d pushed through all the barriers that had been shoved in front of her.

  My mother had said all of those things to me that I’d dreamt about. Even with her thinking that I wasn’t any good at anything, I did make good grades – with no help from her at all. And I was a pretty fabulous volleyball player as well.

  As far as looks went, I had my fair share of men who had found me attractive – so I wasn’t exactly the ugly duckling she’d thought me to be. And I knew that.

  For a good while, I was a strong, emotionally healthy, confident woman. And the men I had dated did respect me. My relationships fizzled out though. But it wasn’t really anyone’s fault. It was just that I hadn’t ever acted on the attractions that I had. I let the guy pick me up, instead of the other way around.

  There had been a couple of guys who I worked with who I found attractive in both physical and mental ways. Since neither of them ever came on to me, nothing happened with them.

  I only felt comfortable enough to come on to Lyle because he’d already done so with me – even if it was fifteen years prior. Or is that true?

  I did find the Lyle Franklin I found fifteen years later to be very handsome. And he had grown up a hell of a lot too. His kiss sent me to a place no other kiss had too. He rocks my world in bed.

  But I’ve fucked that up.

  For now, anyway. I recalled his exact words and knew that maybe we’d never go back to being a thing. But I couldn’t let that get to me.

  I have got to be strong and stay that way. And I don’t need a man in my life if I am to become the person I have to become.

  Putting on the same clothes I’d had on the day before, I sighed as I thought about what I had in my possession now and how I couldn’t go back home to get anything else. At least not until things were dealt with.

  Being a strong woman isn’t easy when so much is hanging over her head.

  After getting dressed, I went out to find Lyle still looking at his phone. “I’m ready to go back to your place. I’d like to put on clean clothes. And I’d like to stay there – at least for tonight. Being with you makes me feel safer than being alone in this apartment.”

  “Okay, then. Grab your helmet and let’s jet.” He headed for the door, opening it then waiting for me to go through it before he did.

  “Thank you,” I said as I walked past him. My body heated with the close contact. Shoving down the want for him might not be so easy.

  “I’ve been communicating with one of MC brothers who’s overseeing this whole operation. He said that some men went to your cousin’s house late last night. They got in by picking the lock on the front door,” he let me know.

  Chills ran down my spine. “Jerome must’ve told someone where we would be staying after the wedding.” I should’ve known he’d make sure someone knew where he was, the untrusting bastard. But I did end up killing him, so maybe he did have reason to do such a thing.

  “That’s what I thought too. So, now we know that his mafia pals are looking for him.” He put his helmet on and I followed suit. Getting on the bike, he held his hand out for me then I got on behind him.

  My heart pounded as we drove through the streets to get back to his place. In the light of day, there I was, riding around on the back of a Harley. It felt dangerous to me to be out in the open that way. Even with a helmet on that covered my face.

  Pulling up into the garage, he closed the door behind us before either of us pulled off our helmets. I got off the bike first, pacing in the garage. “Okay, I think they might come to Baltimore, Lyle.” I looked at him with what I knew were crazed eyes as I felt like I was about to go insane with fear.

  “They know you’re from here.” He nodded in agreement. “Do they know your old add
ress?”

  “Jerome knew it, so I bet they do too. And I’d told Jerome about the class reunion too. So, what if they crash that party?” I would die if people I’d grown up with got hurt because of something I did. I wrung my hands as I felt like I might throw-up.

  “Fuck,” he mumbled. “Fucking shit!” He headed into the house and I followed close behind him. “If they hurt anyone there, I swear to God, I will fuck up their entire organization.”

  “Lyle, I’m so sorry.” I knew that I couldn’t sit back and let others be hurt when I could just do the right thing and hand myself over to the mafia. “I’ll go to them and face the consequences.”

  “The fuck you will, Avia. First of all, my MC is heavily involved now. So, if you turn yourself in, they will make you tell them who dealt with their boss’s body. Do you have any idea what that will mean for me and my MC brothers?”

  I can’t even turn myself in without hurting others. What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

  Involving Lyle’s MC was a huge mistake. Not that I meant to make a mistake like that. I had honestly thought I could get him to come back to New York with me to help me dispose of the body and that was all I’d really asked for.

  But I was grateful for his help that ended up keeping me alive. Or so I had high hopes of staying alive with this plan he and his MC had come up with.

  “Lyle, I don’t want anyone to get hurt. How can I make it so that no one gets hurt? How can I turn this all around and take the blame without getting myself killed in the process?” I wanted to know the answers. I wanted to understand how I could fix the mess I’d made.

  I’d never made such a huge mess in my life. It seemed that since the day I met Jerome that I’d begun making a mess of my life. And messing up my own life only involved me, so that was something I could stand.

  What I couldn’t stand was messing up other people’s lives. I didn’t like to bother other people. I never had. I dealt with things on my own, always had.