Brothersong

by TJ Klune

  Table of Contents

  About Brothersong

  Title Page

  Copyright Page

  Dedication

  the last song

  gone

  like this/got you

  waiting for you/say my name

  better candy/need to stop

  peter and the wolf/our father

  awake

  the only thing/nosy fucker

  leave us behind/slow drumbeat

  not fair/thump thump thump

  waiting for you/because i am

  heartbeat

  wolf brain/without you

  scar tissue/broken parts

  shift

  daddy rico/hello hello

  it’s platonic/into this river

  good name/opposable thumbs

  white willow/die squirrel die

  be better/these scars

  for you/fill my lungs

  snow

  page seventy-six/fuck some shit up

  safe

  like this/little god

  my mother/soap bubble

  wolfsong/ravensong/ heartsong/brothersong

  home

  TO JOE’S FUTURE

  Hello, Ox—

  About TJ Klune

  Other Works by TJ Klune

  About Brothersong

  In the ruins of Caswell, Maine, Carter Bennett learned the truth of what had been right in front of him the entire time. And then it—he—was gone.

  Desperate for answers, Carter takes to the road, leaving family and the safety of his pack behind, all in the name of a man he only knows as a feral wolf. But therein lies the danger: wolves are pack animals, and the longer Carter is on his own, the more his mind slips toward the endless void of Omega insanity.

  But he pushes on, following the trail left by Gavin.

  Gavin, the son of Robert Livingstone. The half-brother of Gordo Livingstone.

  What Carter finds will change the course of the wolves forever. Because Gavin’s history with the Bennett pack goes back further than anyone knows, a secret kept hidden by Carter’s father, Thomas Bennett.

  And with this knowledge comes a price: the sins of the fathers now rest upon the shoulders of their sons.

  Brothersong

  By

  TJ Klune

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Brothersong

  Copyright © 2020 by TJ Klune

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form, stored in any retrieval system, or transmitted in any form by any means—electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without prior written permission of the publisher, except as provided by United States of America copyright law. For permission requests and all other inquiries, contact: tjklunebooks@yahoo.com

  Published by BOATK Books

  http://tjklunebooks.com

  tjklunebooks@yahoo.com

  Cover Art by Reese Dante https://reesedante.com

  Cover content is for illustrative purposes only and any person depicted on the cover is a model.

  Published 2020.

  Printed in the United States of America

  Dedication

  For my packpackpack.

  i hear your heart

  a thunderous sound

  my brother and my friend

  howl your song and lead me home

  together ’til the end

  gone

  “A wolf,” my father told me once, “is only as strong as his tether. Without a tether, without something to remind him of his humanity, he’ll be lost.”

  I stared up at him with wide eyes. I thought no one could ever be as big as my father. He was all I could see. “Really?”

  He nodded, taking my hand. We were walking through the woods. Kelly had wanted to come with us, but Dad said he couldn’t.

  Kelly cried, only stopping when I told him I’d come back and we’d play hide-and-seek. “You promise?”

  “I promise.”

  I was eight years old. Kelly was six. Our promises were important.

  My father’s hand engulfed my own, and I wondered if I would be like him when I grew up. I knew I wasn’t going to be an Alpha. That was Joe, though I didn’t understand how my two-year-old brother would be the Alpha of anything. I’d been jealous when my parents told us Joe would be something I could never be, but it’d faded when Kelly said it was okay, Carter, because that means you and me will always be the same.

  I never worried about it after that.

  “Soon,” my father said, “you’ll be ready for your first shift. It’ll be scary and confusing, but so long as you have your tether, all will be well. You’ll be able to run with your mother and me and the rest of our pack.”

  “I already do that,” I reminded him.

  He laughed. “You do, don’t you? But you’ll be faster. I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep up with you.”

  I was shocked. “But… you’re the Alpha. Of everyone.”

  “I am,” he agreed. “But that’s not what’s important.” He stopped under a large oak tree. “It’s about the heart that beats in your chest. And you’ve got a great heart, Carter, one that beats so strongly that I think you might be the fastest wolf who ever lived.”

  “Whoa,” I breathed. He dropped my hand before sitting on the ground, his back to the tree. He crossed his legs, motioning for me to do the same. I did so, and quickly, not wanting him to change his mind about how fast I would be. My knees bumped his as I mirrored his pose.

  He smiled at me as he said, “A tether to a wolf is precious, something guarded fiercely. It can be a thought or an idea. The feeling of pack. Of home.” His smile faded slightly. “Or of where home should be. Take us, for example. We’re here in Maine, but I don’t know if that’s our home. We’re here because of what’s asked of us. Because of what I must do. But when I think of home, I think of a little town in the west, and I miss it terribly.”

  “We can go back,” I told my dad. “You’re the boss. We can go wherever we want.”

  He shook his head. “I have a responsibility, one I’m grateful for. Being an Alpha isn’t about doing whatever I want. It’s about weighing the needs of the many. Your grandfather taught me that. An Alpha means putting others above yourself.”

  “And that’s going to be Joe,” I said dubiously. When I’d seen him last, he’d been in a high chair in the kitchen, Mom scolding him for putting Cheerios up his nose.

  He laughed. “One day. But not for a long time. But today is about you. You’re just as important as your brother, as is Kelly. Even though Joe’s going to be the Alpha, he’ll look to you for guidance. An Alpha needs someone like the two of you who he can trust, who he can look to when he’s uncertain. And you’ll need to be strong for him. Which is why we’re here. You don’t need to know what your tether is today, but I’ll ask you to start thinking about it and what it could be to you—”

  “Can it be a person?”

  He paused. Then, “Why do you ask?”

  “Can it?”

  He stared at me for a long time. “It can. But having a person as your tether can be… difficult.”

  “Why?”

  “Because people change. We don’t stay the same. We learn and grow and, from new experiences, are shaped into something more. Sometimes, people aren’t… well. They aren’t who they’re supposed to be or how we think of them. They change in ways we don’t expect, and while we want them to remember the good times, they can only focus on the bad. And it colors their world in shadows.”

  There was a look on his fa
ce I’d never seen before, and it made me uneasy. But it was gone before I could ask after it. “Is a tether a secret?”

  He nodded. “It can be. Having a tether is… it’s a treasure. One that is unlike anything else in the world. Some even say it’s more important than having a mate.”

  I grimaced. “I don’t care about that. Girls are weird. I don’t want a mate. That’s stupid.”

  He chuckled. “I’ll remind you of that when the day comes. And I can’t wait to see the look on your face.”

  “What’s yours? You can tell me. I won’t say anything to anyone.”

  He tilted his head back against the tree. “You promise?”

  I nodded eagerly. “Yeah.”

  When my father smiled for real, you could see it in his eyes. It was like a light shining from within. “It’s all of you. My pack.”

  “Oh.”

  “You sound disappointed.”

  I shrugged. “I’m not. It’s just… you always talk about pack and pack and pack.” I scrunched up my face. “I guess it makes sense.”

  “I’m glad you think so.”

  “Is it the same for Mom?”

  “Yes. Or at least it was. Tethers can change over time. Like people, they evolve. Where it once might have been the idea of pack, it’s become more pointed. More focused. For her, it’s her sons. You and Kelly and Joe. It started with you and grew because of Kelly and Joe. She would do anything for you.”

  Fire burned in my chest, safe and warm. “Mine won’t ever change.”

  My father looked at me curiously. “Why?”

  “Because I won’t let it.”

  “You sound as if you already know what it is.”

  “’Cause I do.”

  He leaned forward, taking my hands in his. “Will you tell me?”

  I looked up at him, too young to understand the depths of my love for him. All I knew was that my father was here and asking me something that felt important, something just between us. A secret. “You can’t tell anyone.”

  His lips twitched. “Not even Mom?”

  I frowned. “Well, she’s okay, I guess. But not anyone else!”

  “I swear,” he said, and since he was an Alpha, I knew he meant it.

  I said, “Kelly. It’s Kelly.”

  He closed his eyes. His throat clicked as he swallowed. “Why?”

  “Because he needs me.”

  “That’s not—”

  “And I need him.”

  He opened his eyes. I thought I saw a flash of red. “Tell me.”

  “He’s not like Joe. Joe’s gonna be Alpha, and he’ll be big and strong like you, and everyone will listen to him because he’ll know what to do. You’ll tell him. But Kelly is always going to be a Beta like me. We’re the same.”

  “I’ve noticed.”

  I needed him to understand. “When I have bad dreams, he doesn’t make fun of me and tells me everything is going to be okay. When he hurt his knee and it took a long time to heal, I cleaned it up for him and told him it was okay to cry, even though we’re boys. Boys can cry too.”

  “They can,” my father whispered.

  “And I think about him all the time,” I told him. “When I feel sad or mad, I think about him and I feel better. That’s what tethers do, right? They make you happy. Kelly makes me happy.”

  “He’s your brother.”

  “It’s more than that.”

  “How?”

  I was frustrated. I didn’t know how to put the thoughts in my head into words. Words that would show him just how far it went. Finally, I said, “It’s… he’s everything.”

  For a moment I thought I’d said the wrong thing. My father was staring at me strangely, and I squirmed. But instead of a rebuke, he pulled me toward him, and it was like I was a cub again as I turned around, settling between his legs, my back against his chest. He wrapped his arms around me, his chin on the top of my head. I breathed him in, and in the back of my mind, a voice that had once been weak whispered as strong as I’d ever heard it.

  packpackpack

  “You surprise me,” my father said. “Every day you surprise me. I’m so lucky to have someone such as you as mine. Never, ever forget that. And if you say your tether is Kelly, then so it shall be. You’ll be a good wolf, Carter. And I can’t wait to see the man you’ll become. No matter where I am, no matter what has happened, I’ll remember this gift you’ve given me. Thank you for sharing your secret. I’ll keep it safe.”

  “But you’re not going anywhere, right?”

  He laughed again, and even though I couldn’t see him, I knew he was smiling all the way up to his eyes. “No. I’m not going anywhere. Not for a very long time.”

  We stayed there, under a tree in the refuge outside of Caswell, Maine, for what felt like hours.

  Just the two of us.

  And when we finally went home, Kelly was waiting for us on the porch, gnawing on his bottom lip. He lit up when he saw me and almost tripped as he ran down the stairs. He managed to stay upright, and he tackled me into the grass as our father watched. He threw his hands up over his head as he howled in triumph, a cracked thing that didn’t sound anything like the other wolves.

  I grinned up at him. “Wow. You’re so strong!”

  He poked my nose. “You were gone forever. I got bored. Why did it take so long?”

  “I’m here now,” I told him. “And I won’t leave you again.”

  “Promise?”

  “Yeah. I promise.”

  And as I hugged my tether close, listening to him talk excitedly in my ear about how Joe had stuck two Cheerios up his nose and how Mom had gotten mad when Uncle Mark had laughed, I told myself it was a promise I’d always keep.

  “JESUS FUCKING CHRIST,” I snapped. “Do you have to follow me everywhere? Dude. Seriously. Back off.”

  The timber wolf glared at me.

  I tilted my head, listening.

  Everyone was in the house. I could hear Mom and Jessie laughing about something in the kitchen.

  I jerked my head toward the woods.

  The timber wolf huffed out a breath.

  I ran.

  He followed.

  I laughed when he nipped at my heels, urging me on, and in my head, I pretended I could hear his wolf voice saying faster faster faster must run faster so i can chase so i can catch you so i can eat you.

  We went deep into the forest, bypassing the clearing, heading for the furthest reaches of our territory. The wolf never ran ahead, always staying at my side, his tongue lolling out of his mouth.

  We ran for miles, the scent of spring so green I could taste it.

  Eventually I stopped, chest heaving, muscles burning from exertion.

  I collapsed on the ground spread-eagled as the wolf paced around me, head raised, sniffing the air, ears twitching. When he decided there was no threat, he lay down beside me, head on my chest, tail curled over my legs. He huffed out an annoyed breath in my face.

  I rolled my eyes. “Have to keep up appearances. I’ve got a reputation to maintain. You know how much shit I would get if anyone found out?” I flicked his forehead.

  He growled, baring his teeth.

  “Yeah, yeah. And I wasn’t exactly lying. You do follow me everywhere. A man has got to be able to shit in peace without an overgrown dog scratching at the door. You don’t see me staring at you when you’re squatting in the backyard.”

  He closed his eyes.

  I flicked him again. “Don’t ignore me.”

  He opened one eye. For something that wasn’t exactly human, he certainly could get his exasperation across.

  “Whatever, man. I’m just saying.”

  He sneezed on me.

  “Fucking asshole,” I muttered, wiping my face. “Just you wait. You’ll get yours. Kibble. I’m going to make sure you only get kibble from here on out.”

  Thick clouds passed by overhead. I laughed when a dragonfly landed between his ears, causing them to flatten. The translucent wings fluttered before it fle
w away.

  He was a heavy weight upon me.

  Once I thought it crushing.

  Now it felt like an anchor holding me in place.

  It should have bothered me more than it did.

  He grunted, a question without words, his breath hot on my chest through my thin shirt.

  “Same old, same old. Who, how, why. You know how it is.”

  Who are you?

  How did you come to be this way?

  Why can’t you shift back?

  Questions I’d asked over and over again.

  He grumbled, lips pulling back over his teeth.

  “I know, dude. It’s whatever, you know? You’ll figure it out when you’re ready. Just… maybe that could be sooner rather than later? I mean, would it be so bad if you—stop growling at me, you dick! Oh, fuck you, man. Don’t take that tone with me.”

  He moved his head, nosing at my arm.

  I ignored him.

  He pressed harder, more insistent.

  I sighed. “You’re spoiled. That’s what’s wrong here. You think you’ve got it good. And you do. Maybe too good.” But I did what he wanted, resting my hand on top of his head, scratching the backs of his ears.

  He closed his eyes again as he settled.

  We were drifting, just the two of us. The world around us turned hazy, the edges like a dream. Hours passed by, and sometimes we dozed, and sometimes we just… were.

  I said, “You can, you know?”

  I said, “If you want to.”

  I said, “I don’t know what happened to you.”

  I said, “I don’t know where you came from or what you had to deal with.”

  I said, “But you’re safe here.”

  I said, “You’re safe with us. With me. We can help you. Ox… he’s a good Alpha. Joe too. They could be yours, if you wanted.”

  I said, “And then maybe I could hear your voice. I mean, totally no homo, but I think it’d be… nice.”

  He was shaking.

  I looked at him, thinking something was wrong.

  It wasn’t.

  The motherfucker was laughing at me.

  I shoved him off me. “Asshole.”