Brothersong

by TJ Klune

  “He was looking for Dad. He joined up with the Omegas to try to get here. Nothing more. He didn’t hurt anyone.”

  Ox nodded slowly. “Gavin, I’m not trying to scare you. If I thought you were dangerous, you wouldn’t be here. Please remember that.”

  Gavin muttered something behind me, and I had to fight the urge to pull him away from all of this. Even though the office was bigger than the cabin had been, it felt like the walls were closing in.

  “What did you say?” Ox asked lightly.

  Gavin tightened his grip on my shirt. It pulled against my chest and stomach. He said, “Didn’t want to. Hurt. I was… lost. Wolf. Omega. I remembered Thomas. Said if I needed help to find him. Didn’t know he was dead.” He pressed his forehead against my back. “Wouldn’t hurt Jessie. Wouldn’t hurt anyone. Not if I didn’t have to. Just trying to survive.”

  “We know,” Mom said, and I was grateful when she glared at Ox. “No one here thinks you would.”

  “Of course not,” Ox said, and I could see he was fighting a smile. “But it’s a circle just like Mark said. We’re connected, all of us, and it goes back longer than we even thought. We can’t keep making the same mistakes. We need to be better than we were before.” He looked at me pointedly. “We have to trust each other. After Robbie was taken from us, we forgot how to do that. We were divided. We found our way back, yes, but we can’t let that happen again. All the cards on the table. No secrets, not anymore. Do you understand?”

  I nodded. “Yeah, I get it.”

  “Good,” Ox said. “I’m happy to hear that. Which is why I want you to listen to what I have to say next. Listen, okay? And know that I’m not speaking to you as your Alpha. I’m speaking to you as your brother.”

  “Okay.”

  He squared his shoulders. “You’re a fucking moron.”

  “Hey!”

  He shook his head. “Of all the stupid things you could have done, you chose the worst. Taking it upon yourself to go after them, to leave your pack behind like we didn’t matter. How the hell could you think that was okay?”

  And oh, there it was. His anger. His rage. It tasted like ash. He was furious, and even though he was doing his damndest to keep it from his face, his eyes grew darker, his brow furrowing. “I didn’t—”

  “That’s right,” he said flatly. “You didn’t. Didn’t think. Didn’t ask. Didn’t look to me or Joe or anyone else in your pack. You left a fucking video, as if you thought that was enough. How dare you. Three years. One month. Twenty-six days. I lived through that. I lived through the thirteen months it took for us to get Robbie back. I saw firsthand what happened with Mark and Gordo. And then you decided to… what? Be wholly original and leave too?”

  “Whoa,” Kelly breathed. “That was a bitchy thing to say. Go Ox.”

  “I expected more from you, Carter,” Ox said, and he was a fucking liar. He didn’t sound like my brother. He sounded like my father. “And I need to know if I can trust you again. Because with everything we face ahead of us, we can’t be continuing to look behind us to see if someone we trust still has our back.”

  “I’m here,” I said stiffly, trying to keep my own anger in check. “I came back. I was always going to.”

  “You could have been killed.”

  “I wasn’t.”

  “You were shot,” Gavin muttered, and now he decided to say something? “Back broke.”

  “Fine,” I allowed. “I was almost killed. But I did what I thought was right, and I get you’re pissed off. You have every right to be. I would do it again if I had to.”

  “For him?”

  “Yes,” I said defiantly.

  “Because of what he is to you.”

  Jesus Christ. This wasn’t going like I thought it would. And yet…. “Yes.”

  Gavin sucked in a sharp breath.

  “Good,” Ox said, and suddenly he was smiling. It was dazzling, and I was breathless at the sight of it. “Because you need to take Gavin as your mate.”

  I almost swallowed my own tongue. I started coughing roughly, bending over, trying not to die.

  “You did that on purpose,” Joe said, shaking his head fondly. “Jesus, Ox. We talked about this.”

  Ox shrugged. “We did. But he made me mad, so now we’re even. I feel better.” His smile widened. “All right there, Carter? Do you need a moment?”

  “Fuck… you,” I wheezed.

  “Bitchy Alpha,” Kelly muttered. “I don’t know why more people can’t see it.”

  They were all out of their minds. That was the only explanation. “You can’t just say that!”

  “And yet I did,” Ox said. “Funny how that works. Circle. Remember how time is a circle that we’re stuck in? Abel couldn’t see it. Thomas, for all that he was, underestimated it. We have allowed ourselves to spin out of control trying to survive. It’s time that we take matters into our own hands.”

  “And that involves me and….” I couldn’t finish.

  He was amused. “What did you think would happen? What was the point of the last year? You found him. You, Carter, all on your own. And while I may not be happy how you went about it, I couldn’t be prouder of you for what you’ve done because I understand the lengths you went to, what you did in the face of the impossible. And I think Gavin knows that. He’s very lucky to have someone such as you.”

  I sighed as I heard the familiar grind of bone and muscle, the tearing of clothes. The hand fell away from the back of my shirt as a timber wolf rose behind me. I turned around to see him backing away slowly, his tail between his legs. He made a soft sound as he curled in on himself, trying to make himself small. It was ridiculous, of course, given his size and the fact that there was nowhere for him to hide.

  Before I could go to him, my mother was there. She took his face in her hands, running her fingers along his snout. “You can be however you want,” she told him. “If it’s easier to be a wolf, then that’s okay. I just hope you don’t stay that way forever. I like the sound of your voice. Don’t forget that.” His tongue flicked out against her palm, and she laughed. “Yes. It’s been a very strange day. I find that when things feel overwhelming, I need to be away for a little while. To hear nothing but the sound of my heart and the breath in my chest. Would you come with me? I’d like to show you something.”

  He glanced at me before following her out of the office. I wanted to go after them. I stayed where I was.

  “Not cool, Ox,” I snapped when they were gone. “You can’t just say shit like that. You don’t know what he’s been through. This is hard enough as it is.”

  “Would you have me lie?” Ox asked. He wasn’t angry, merely curious.

  “No. But I expect you to have some fucking tact.”

  “You’re in the wrong place for that,” Mark said. “And we don’t have time to sugarcoat anything.”

  “He’s here,” Joe said, sitting forward, his arms on the desk. “In my head. I can feel him. But it’s not like it was before. He’s being pulled in too many directions. His father has a hold over him.”

  I glared at him. “And you thought dropping that in our lap would make it better?”

  “No,” Joe said. “But I have to be blunt. He wants to be here, Carter. He wants to be with us. With you. You have to know that. He’s pack, but it’s tenuous. He needs something to hold him in place. Something to anchor him. It doesn’t help that he’s still an Omega.”

  Kelly looked at me pointedly. I knew what he was thinking.

  “Thump, thump, thump,” I muttered.

  “What was that?” Ox asked.

  “He’s… shit.” I looked down at my hands. “He says I’m his tether.”

  Gordo laughed. It startled me, given how big and loud it was, something I hadn’t ever heard from him before. Even Mark looked surprised. Gordo sat back in his chair, arms wrapped around his stomach, and he laughed.

  “Something you’d like to share with the rest of us?” Mark asked, smiling as if hearing his mate like this was conta
gious.

  Gordo wiped his eyes, still chuckling. “It’s just… my father. No matter how hard he tries, no matter how much he hates wolves and Bennetts, it’s his own children who betray him the most. Me with Mark. Gavin with you. God, that must just piss him the fuck off.” His grin was more wolf than man. “I hope it does. I hope it just tears at him.”

  “Did he really say that?” Ox asked. “You’re his tether?”

  “He did,” Kelly said. “When we were driving back. I didn’t think he understood what it meant—the significance of it—given how easily he said it. But I don’t know if that’s quite right. It’s just that easy for him. He’s been a wolf for so long that he doesn’t need the complexities or nuances of being human. He’s running on instinct. And that instinct is pointing him toward Carter.”

  “He needs you, Carter,” Joe said. “And I think you need him just as much. I know it’s not what you expected—”

  “I don’t care about that.” My heart remained steady.

  “Good. Because he needs to have that tether holding him in place. To keep him from feeling the pull from his father. A mate bond is just as strong as the bonds with a pack. Maybe even stronger. It’s why Chris and Tanner decided to do what they did.” He smiled quietly. “Didn’t see that coming, but it makes sense for them. It’s also why Kelly could get through to Robbie, even when all his memories were stripped away.”

  I was dizzy. I couldn’t focus. It was too much to take in. “And what about Livingstone? You really think he’s just going to let this go? He won’t. He thinks we’ve stolen from him. He’ll come for us. That barrier won’t hold him forever.”

  “We know,” Ox said, a hint of a growl in his voice.

  “Then… what?” I looked at all of them. “What’s the plan here? Just wait until he breaks out? Hope for the best? He could hurt people. Innocent people who have nothing to do with this. If he hurts those witches, the ones who stayed behind, then that’s on us.”

  “A year,” Ox said. “You’ve been gone a year.”

  I frowned at him. “I know you’re pissed, but you don’t need to keep rubbing that in my face.”

  “And I’m not trying to, if you’d let me finish.”

  I snapped my mouth closed.

  Ox nodded. “Over the past year, Aileen and Patrice have gathered the remaining witches. They’ve gone from pack to pack, shoring up their wards. Livingstone is a wolf now. He’s lost his magic. And even though he’s not like anything we’ve ever seen, he’s still a wolf. Which means he has limitations. He’ll feel the call of the moon. And he’s an Alpha, which means he’ll want to find his pack. It’ll be a singular focus, especially if he sees this territory as his. He may draw others to him, stragglers who don’t have a pack or Omegas we couldn’t find, but he’ll learn quickly how limited those numbers are. Things have changed in your absence, Carter. While you were looking for Gavin, we were looking for you, and still preparing for the endgame.” He looked grim. “Because that’s what this is. It’ll either be him or us. And I’ll be damned if I’m going to let it be him. Green Creek isn’t as it once was. We’re ready.”

  “And all that’s left is for me to….” I couldn’t finish.

  He moved until he stood before me, and he was all I could see. He filled my entire world as he cupped my face, eyes filling with fire. “Yes,” he said. “But not yet. I want you to heal. To know you’re home, and to see if your heart belongs to someone who needs it more than you know.”

  My eyes burned as I reached up and gripped his wrists. “No pressure, right?”

  He smiled. “You have a choice, Carter. And even if you don’t choose him, he’ll know that he still matters to you because you won’t let him forget it. And maybe that’ll be enough. I’ll give you as much time as I can, but it can’t go on forever. We need all of us if we can ever hope to take Livingstone out. Think hard on it. This isn’t a decision to be made lightly, and no matter what we’ve told you, it’s up to you. And Gavin.”

  “He might not even want this,” I muttered. “He’s said so often enough.”

  “We often say things when we’re scared,” Ox said, brushing his thumbs against my cheeks. “Things we might not mean. It’s what makes us human.”

  I said, “Ox, I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to fix this. I don’t know how to be good enough.”

  And he said, “You already are, Carter. Can’t you see? I have faith in you. I love you, and I know he will too. How could he not? Look at you. You are my strength. And I know you can be his too. But you don’t have to carry this alone. We’ll help you. All of us.”

  He hugged me then, hugged me as I fell apart. And in an office that still smelled like my father, I breathed my Alpha in.

  HE WAS IN MY MOTHER’S STUDIO.

  She was painting, bright strokes of green and blue. She had paint on her cheek, and her eyes glittered as she slashed the canvas.

  Gavin watched my mother move. It was like she was dancing.

  She said, “Today, today, today. Today feels green. There’s still some blue, but that’s life, I think. Sometimes it can be a forest. Other times it’s an ocean. But we float, don’t we? Along the surface. I always thought so, even when I was drowning. There’s a song I like. An old one.” And remarkably, she started singing. “Sometimes I float along the river, for to its surface I am bound. And there are times stones done fill my pockets, oh Lord, and it’s into this river I drown.”

  He was entranced by her, swaying side to side in time with the song. His tail was curled around his legs, and his eyes were violet.

  He didn’t startle when I put my hand on his back.

  He looked over at me.

  I looked back.

  I didn’t speak.

  He leaned forward, pressing his nose against my chest.

  Thump.

  Thump.

  Thump.

  good name/opposable thumbs

  He stayed as a wolf.

  I didn’t fight it, didn’t try to tell him to shift back.

  He followed me as I walked down the dirt road. It was cold, but the sky was blue. The moon was growing fatter, and I could feel it pulling at me. It was different here, in this place. When I was on the secret highways, it always felt wrong somehow. I’d sung for all the world to hear, but I’d been alone. No one sang back to me, no matter how hard I wished it so. It’d felt like grief.

  The gravel crunched under my feet as I let my fingers trail along the trunks of trees on the side of the road.

  “There’s a history here,” I told him. He was walking next to me, pressed up against my side. I didn’t push him away. “It’s mine.” Then, “Or maybe it’s ours. Maybe it belongs to you just as much as it belongs to me. You’re a Livingstone.”

  He growled.

  “A name is just a name.” I wished I could believe that. “But if not a Livingstone, then a Walsh. Or whoever the people were who took you in.” I inhaled deeply, sucking in the scents of the territory. “Or anyone else you want to be. You could just be Gavin. It’s a good name.”

  He tilted his head at me, ears twitching. I thought he was smiling.

  My face grew warm. “Shut up. Just… take the compliment.”

  Yeah, definitely smiling. My skin itched.

  A bird took flight, calling, calling, calling me. I watched as it flew away. “I’m trying to say it doesn’t matter. You can be whoever you want to be. Gordo is a Livingstone still because he wants to change what the name means. I’m a Bennett still because it was a gift from my father.” I looked toward the sky. “Even if it can feel like a curse.”

  He pressed his nose against my hand.

  “There’s a weight on us,” I told him. “But we don’t have to carry it alone. I forgot that. I’m going to do my best to never let that happen again. Jessie says we’re self-sacrificing assholes. She has a point. We’re headstrong. We make mistakes. But that’s what pack is for. To pick us back up when we fall.”

  He bent his head toward the groun
d. When he rose again, he had a pinecone in his mouth. He nudged my hand until I took it from him. It was glistening with his saliva, and I barely grimaced. “Thank you?”

  He took off into the forest. I heard him crashing through the underbrush. A low thrum emanated from him. It almost felt like happiness, tentative and slight. I continued on, knowing he would follow.

  When I reached the end of the dirt road, he reappeared.

  He carried more pinecones in his mouth.

  He gave them all to me.

  I inspected each one as he watched. I didn’t know what the hell I was supposed to do with these, but he seemed pleased when I put them in the pockets of my coat.

  He fell in step beside me. Every now and then, he’d nose my pockets as if to make sure his gifts were still there.

  WHEN WE GOT INTO TOWN, the townsfolk swarmed around us. They came out of their houses, out of their shops, all wanting to stop and shake my hand, to welcome me home. You’re a sight for sore eyes, they said. You’ve been missed. You’re in so much trouble for being so foolish. “Hello, Mr. Mayor,” they said, and it sounded so ridiculous. “Welcome back, Mr. Mayor.” They overwhelmed me, but I still felt a queer sense of pride.

  Gavin cowered at first, trying to hide behind me. It wasn’t until a group of elderly women came from the diner that he started to relax. They had loved him before, always stopping to fuss over him.

  Which is what they did now.

  They told him how big he was.

  How bright his eyes were.

  “So pretty,” they said. “Look at you. You were gone and we were sad. Please don’t leave us again.” They petted him. They pressed their faces against his. They laughed when he snorted in their necks. They flicked his ears, and he growled playfully at them, tail wagging.

  And then they were gone, laughing as they walked down the street, looking back at us and wiggling their fingers.

  The bell rang overhead as we entered the diner. Dominique looked up from behind the counter and smiled. She rolled her eyes when a group of men shouted in joy at the sight of us, Will standing with a grunt and walking toward me, hand already extended. His grip was solid as he pumped my arm up and down. “Look what the wolf dragged in! Our illustrious mayor.”