Same Beach, Next Year

by Dorothea Benton Frank

  “Well, it turns out she was hysterically crying because she really believed Carl was carrying on with his nurse. She found a bunch of text messages on his phone that must’ve been pretty incriminating. She had left him and didn’t know where to go, so she came here. To think. I mean, it’s not like she was going to go to Cookie and ask for her old bedroom back, right?”

  “Why should I care where she goes?” Although that sort of made sense to me. “What else?”

  “So, she let me in and we drank a bottle of wine while she cried her eyes out. I just did what any friend would do. I just listened to her. And I told her I didn’t believe Carl was fooling around with his nurse. Which, as it turns out, he wasn’t. You missed that part.”

  “That’s all?”

  “That about wraps it up,” he said.

  “You wouldn’t lie to me, would you, Adam?”

  “God, no.”

  “You’re not leaving anything out?”

  “I don’t think so,” he said.

  “Then you want to explain to me why our bed hasn’t been slept in?”

  I watched the color drain from his face. Faint, you bastard, I thought. See if I care.

  “Shit,” he said. “I was getting to that part.”

  “Like hell you were. I don’t believe you for a minute, Adam Stanley.”

  “I fell asleep on their sofa.” He said in a mousy little voice that kids use on their teacher when they don’t have their homework.

  “You did what?”

  “I know. The next thing I knew it was morning and Carl was threatening to kill me, looming over me like a linebacker from the NFL with the front of my shirt all twisted into a knot. Not a nice way to start your day, lemme tell you.”

  He was trying to be funny in an effort to lower my thermostat. I was having none of it.

  “So, let me understand this. You came here, intending to do some work on the house, which I seem to remember you told me you were going to do. You went outside and saw lights on at their place. You went over to see what was up and after you scared Eve to death, you drank a bottle of wine with her and slept on her couch with her naked under a silk bathrobe. Slept there all night long and nothing happened. And you were surprised she was there in the first place. Oh, and she was crying over Carl. As usual.”

  “That’s the whole story. I’m sorry. I know it looks very bad.”

  He tried to take me in his arms and I jerked free of him and put my hands on my hips.

  “You must really think I’m a total and complete idiot, Adam.”

  “I think no such thing,” he said. “But I am telling you the truth.”

  “And you fell asleep because you had such a long hard week you couldn’t hold yourself together to get off the couch and walk home, which is twenty-five feet away? It never entered your mind?”

  “I actually don’t remember falling asleep, Eliza. True story.”

  “I don’t believe that for one minute. How long have we been married?”

  “Forever,” he said.

  “Sadly, I’ve seen you drunk as a dog, but you always make it to bed. Always.”

  “That’s true. I’m not quite sure how it happened. But I’m sorry, Eliza. I really am.”

  “I send you here to fix the dripping faucets and this is what you do?”

  “I did go to Lowe’s! Look! There are the bags of stuff!”

  I looked over at the table and indeed there were bags from Lowe’s. They proved nothing to me except that he had gone shopping as promised, maybe just to have an alibi.

  “How could you, Adam? For all these years, the first thing I did every morning until I went to bed at night, was to put you and our boys first. I trusted you with my life! I gave you children. I took care of all of you, cooking and cleaning and listening to you go on and on about anything you wanted to talk about and birthdays and holidays and this is what you do? This is what you do to me?”

  “It’s really just an unbelievable coincidence that she was here at all and that it played out this way.”

  “Adam. Do you think I have lost my memory?”

  “I know, I know. I remember that summer too, when I knew Eve and Carl were coming and you didn’t. I knew you’d bring that up.”

  “This changes things, Adam. I feel betrayed and hurt. I don’t like all this. I’m not this kind of person, the one who just looks away or gets over it.”

  “So, what do you want me to say? I told you the complete truth and I said I was sorry and I am. Look, Eliza, I love you. You know I do. What else can I say?”

  “I don’t think it matters what you say. You can explain it all away until the cows come home, but the fact is you spent the night with Eve and it isn’t right.”

  “It was an accident.”

  “Accident my big fat behind. You sound like your sons.”

  “It was. It was an accident. I swear.”

  “You forget something, Adam. I know you. And I know you had the strength to get off that sofa and leave. You didn’t because you didn’t want to.”

  He started to speak and I cut him off.

  “Save it, Adam. I know you down to your DNA. Don’t forget that.”

  I went into the kitchen, took the Italian submarine sandwiches I’d brought for a surprise picnic out of the refrigerator, and put them back in the shopping bag with the homemade oatmeal raisin cookies. I made those cookies for him because I knew he especially loved them. But at this point I wasn’t about to reward him with food. Then I took the cookies back out and left them on the kitchen counter, on top of the box of Entenmann’s. Next I changed my mind and dropped the sandwiches on the counter too. I didn’t want to eat them then and I wouldn’t want them later. I had no appetite. I felt sick inside.

  I went back to the living room, where he stood just as I had left him, and put on my coat.

  “Where are you going?”

  “I’m going home. I suppose you don’t know how that coffee cake got in there either?”

  “Eliza. Please.”

  “Nope. I’ve been watching you play games with Eve for too many years, Adam, and I’m all done. I love you too. But right now, I have a lot to consider.”

  I knew that Adam was shaken, but I had to get away from him. I picked up my overnight bag and my purse, left the condo, and threw them in the back of my car. I needed to get some clarity, put things in perspective. What had really happened?

  I started the engine, turned around to back out of my parking space, and saw Carl walking toward me, waving. I rolled down my window.

  “So what do you think, Eliza? What pile of crap excuse did Adam give you?”

  I turned the car off and got out. I wanted to know what Carl thought too.

  “Let’s take a walk,” I said. I felt light-headed. It was probably from the shock. It was probably also a really good idea to calm down before I drove a car anywhere.

  “Sure,” he said. “Are you okay? You look pale.”

  “I’m okay. But this was all quite a surprise.”

  “I hate surprises,” Carl said.

  “Me too.”

  We walked around the complex to the ocean side and took a seat at one of the tables.

  The chairs were made of some heavy composite metal, and in the winter’s morning air they were freezing cold to the touch. I sat and warmed my hands under my arms. I had left my gloves in the car. Carl had no jacket, only a lightweight sweater. I had never seen Carl so upset, and I was sure it was the same for Eve. We began to talk, and Eve’s story matched up with Adam’s. Apparently, Carl had a nurse who was in hot pursuit of his mind, body, and spirit. I had no idea whether that was actually so. I just knew what Adam had told me, which was that Eve was suspicious that there was someone else. Maybe he had said it was a nurse. I couldn’t remember.

  “So basically, Adam told me the same story.”

  “What do you think?” Carl said.

  “I think he should have had the presence of mind to get his behind off your sofa and go home to his own bed. It
’s bad enough that they’re here together without us. Given the situation, it’s hard to believe nothing happened.”

  “I agree. You’re giving me a lot to think about.”

  “Carl? Have you ever been so wasted you couldn’t get up and walk home?”

  “Never.”

  “Adam either. He stayed because he wanted to. Whether or not they had sex almost doesn’t matter.”

  “And why didn’t she go put some clothes on before they started drinking a bottle of wine?”

  “Good question. I’m going to go with because she didn’t want to.”

  “Jesus. I mean, I wonder if this was the only time this has ever happened. Eve’s been coming to Charleston more and more often to check on Cookie. At least that’s why she says she’s coming. What do I know?”

  “How is Cookie?”

  “As crazy as every bat in hell.”

  “So, she’s the same?”

  “Yeah. Bat shit crazy.”

  “What are you going to do?” I asked.

  “About what specifically?”

  “Your nurse, for starters.”

  “Fire her immediately. You wouldn’t believe how aggressive this woman is. There’s a growing trend among women whose ovaries are a time bomb. They think it’s easier to pick off an old dude who’s perhaps weary of his marriage than it is to find someone nearer to their own age.”

  “You’re not an old dude. But she must be out of her mind to think she could have you just because she wants you. What kind of person makes advances to a married man?”

  “Amoral ones. I don’t expect you to understand this and I don’t quite get it myself, but out there in the great big world there is a perception that ‘MD’ stands for ‘mucho dinero.’”

  “It doesn’t?”

  “No. Well, I’m not rolling in it, anyway. I mean, I do fine, but I’m not rich. And there are some young nurses—as there are young women in any profession—who think they want to be a nurse or a nurse practitioner so they can snag a rich doctor.”

  I looked at Carl and I could see the pain in his beautiful eyes. He was so handsome. It was one thing that some little twit was pursuing him but quite another to find his wife on the couch curled up with his friend, snoozing like babies. He was going to fire the twit, but what was he going to do about his marriage?

  “So. What do you think, Carl? How are you feeling about all this—you and Eve, I mean.”

  “I don’t know, Eliza. I don’t know.”

  “Me either.”

  “This definitely changes things.”

  “It sure does. It definitely puts a strain on things. You know? I just feel like I’ve been giving more than I’ve been taking for a long time. I gave up almost every dream I ever had for myself to try and become the best wife and mother I could be.”

  “Aw, come on. You make one helluva pot of gumbo,” he said and smiled at me. “Best in the world.”

  “Thanks,” I said and looked out over the water. “You’re sweet.”

  “And you’ve got great boys.”

  “Thanks.”

  I began to cry. Quietly. I couldn’t help it. I was so hurt and disappointed in Adam and in Eve. And I was angry. Really angry. How could Adam be so stupid?

  Carl put his arm around my shoulder and gave me a squeeze. I sniffed and wiped my eyes with my sleeve, which was gross, but there were no other options.

  “What dreams did you give up?” Carl said.

  “Oh, golly. Dreams. Me and my dreams are pretty hopeless at this point.”

  “We are never without hope. Talk to me, Eliza. Tell me what else is on your heart.”

  I was quiet then. I wanted to tell him about my cookbook and about Greece and why I was so passionate about it. But those passions had been completely squelched every time they were mentioned. Maybe there had been other things at other times. I couldn’t remember in that moment when I’d just seen my whole world blown to bits.

  “My mother died when I was very young.”

  “I think I knew that.”

  “Yes. She was from Greece. Corfu, actually.”

  “It’s in the Ionian Sea, isn’t it?”

  “Yes. Anyway, when I was really little we used to take a family vacation there almost every year. It was idyllic. I mean, there was an innocence about the village where my grandmother lived that’s unlike anything I’ve ever encountered here. Or maybe wholesomeness is a better way to describe it. Dogs and chickens wandering around. When we arrived, it seemed like every single person in Dassia came to my grandmother’s house to see the Americans. And they all brought my brother and me a little gift to welcome us.”

  “That’s awfully nice.”

  “Yes. It was. And my grandmother! She couldn’t get enough of us! She absolutely beamed with happiness to have us there. We had these elaborate meals that she spent all day preparing and then we’d set up tables in her courtyard with lanterns strung between the branches. These dinners went on forever. All the neighbors came and went. It seemed like meals started with lunch and lasted until midnight.”

  “Too bad life’s not really like that anymore. Who has the time?”

  “Well, family was everything to my grandmother.”

  “Like it is for you.”

  “Yes.”

  “And let me guess, she’s why you love to cook so much.”

  “Probably. And it’s also the place where I felt the most loved in my entire life.”

  “You know Adam loves you.”

  “I know. But not enough to get off the couch.” I looked at Carl and he stared at me. I could almost hear him thinking, Yeah, and Eve loves me, but not enough to put her clothes on. “I’ve always dreamed of going back to Greece to see if there are still relatives and what happened to my grandmother’s old house. Maybe see some skinny dogs walking around.”

  “I’ve never been to Greece. Always wanted to, but somehow it just never worked out.”

  “Well, this might be a good time for me to go. I think my brother said that one of our cousins has a B and B. We’ll see. Mr. Stanley can have some time to stew and so can I.”

  “Maybe Eve needs a little time out herself,” he said.

  “That’s your call. Hey, isn’t it weird that we both came here this morning? What a coincidence.” There are no coincidences, I reminded myself.

  “Yes. I drove almost all night. I couldn’t sleep. Something told me I’d find her here.”

  “Well, the four of us have been coming here for how many years?”

  “Too many to count.”

  “It’s where I always found peace. I feel like my church has been desecrated.”

  Carl looked at me then as he processed what I’d said. And then his face changed to one of worry and wonder.

  “Do you think they’re still in love with each other?” he said.

  I didn’t know how to answer him. I’d questioned it myself. But I thought then about the four of us and what we meant to each other. We had shared every single milestone of our lives with each other for decades. And it wasn’t like we didn’t have other friends, because we did. But no other foursome was as satisfying or as interesting to each of us.

  Over the years, I’d often thought that God forbid something happened to Adam or one of the boys, Carl would be the first person I’d call. It didn’t matter that he lived hours away. Heaven knows, he had saved the life of my son. Our relationships with each other went beyond the usual expectations of normal friendship, and they always had. The trust and reliance was built on years of care. There could never be another foursome that would supersede what we shared. No, Eve, Carl, Adam, and I were solidly and forever entrenched deeply in each other’s hearts.

  “Carl? I think that to some extent we’re all in love with each other.”

  “It’s true.”

  “And I think it’s been like that from the get-go. If Adam’s affection for Eve has crossed a line, or vice versa, I couldn’t say. But the whole business doesn’t seem right.”

  “
It sure doesn’t.”

  “This morning I woke up a happy housewife thinking I’d surprise my husband with a lovely lunch and a nice bottle of Chianti. Now I’m wondering what to do about the rest of my life.”

  I sat there searching Carl’s face for answers he couldn’t possibly have for me. Or for himself.

  “Eliza. Nothing is really changed, and yet I feel like I got blindsided too. I need to think about this. Meanwhile, I think it’s time for me to start driving back to Raleigh. I’ve got some mighty sick children depending on me. Stay in touch with me, okay?”

  “Okay. Let’s go.” We began walking back to our cars and I glanced at our windows. There was no sign of Adam. And when I looked over at Carl and Eve’s place, it looked dark. Metaphorically? The life force had left the buildings.

  Carl and I exchanged a familial hug, one of the somber, reassuring ilk. Then we got into our cars, me into my new white Benz SUV and Carl into his Lexus sedan, and left Wild Dunes and our spouses behind.

  I drove home in something of a stupor, reliving the entire episode mile by mile. Had Carl and I overreacted? No. Did Adam still love me? I knew that he did. But how could I forgive this?

  I got home and pulled my car into the garage. I went inside through the door to the kitchen, and suddenly my house that I loved so much seemed like a hall of gloom. It had a personality, to be sure, but gloom had never been a part of it. But crazy as it may sound, it was as though the house knew what had happened.

  I don’t know why, but I began to walk from room to room looking at all the objects and photographs Adam and I had amassed over the years. There were wonderful things, sentimental things, gifts from and to one of us from the other that reminded me of a special birthday or anniversary or Christmas. Lovely ceramics, engraved picture frames, bookends made of polished brass. There were lamps that looked Asian, embroidered hand towels with our monogram in the powder room in the hall near the front door. A brass umbrella stand that had belonged to Adam’s grandfather. Suddenly it was just a bunch of stuff. If the house didn’t have our love, it didn’t have its soul. It had been snatched away by longing and deceit.

  Some time passed with me basically standing in my kitchen looking out into the yard through the window over my sink, wondering if Adam was coming home right away or if he was staying with Eve or just why the hell hadn’t he called me? I checked my phone. No calls. No texts. Shouldn’t Eve have called to say something like “Oh God, I’m so sorry?” Um, I think so. How long had we all been friends? It seemed like forever.