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Love and Christmas Wishes: Three Regency Romance Novellas

Page 19

by Rose Pearson


  His heart ached painfully, desperately hoping that he would find her soon. There was so much for him to say, so much for him to share with her, that he was quite desperate to see her again so that he might tell her all that was weighing on his heart.

  Again, his eyes roved over the ballroom, seeing the blazing fire in the center of the room, the many beeswax candles that lit up the ballroom from every side and the holly, ivy and red berries that created a wonderfully festive atmosphere. It did not bring him any sort of delight.

  And then, he heard a peal of laughter coming from his right, dragging him out of his thoughts and forcing him to turn his head. It was none other than Lady Harrows, laughing delightedly up into the face of one George Grainger, who was grinning at her as though he were some sort of court jester sent only to please her. His heart twisted in his chest, wondering if he ought to march over to Mr. Grainger and demand to know where Miss Jane Brookes was or whether he ought to simply watch the man to see if he was with her.

  “I hear you proposed to Jane,” Lady Harrows laughed, sending James’ heart lurching to the floor. “Although she did not accept you, I think.”

  George Grainger laughed aloud, as though the whole thing was quite ridiculous. “I did propose, I think,” he replied, with a shrug. “I do hate to think of her living alone, whilst her sister is contented and settled and her parents growing older by the day.” His voice grew more serious, the mirthful look leaving his eyes. “Do you know, I think I am one of the few people who truly know Jane for who she is. So many people think her quiet and unobtrusive but there is a good deal more going on within her than one might think. She has always kept everything hidden away, to the point that she barely tells me what she really thinks and feels without a good deal of prodding on my part.” He shrugged, a sad smile touching the corner of his lips. “What a shame no gentleman here will ever attempt to see that.”

  “Then may I wish you happy, should the blessed event ever occur,” Lady Harrows replied, with a soft smile of her own. “At least I can be assured that you will care for Jane as she deserves, Grainger.”

  George Grainger smiled, offering his arm to the lady. “She had not accepted me yet,” he grinned, a twinkle in his eye.

  Lady Harrows laughed and said something to Grainger that James could not quite hear and, quickly, they made their way down the steps and into the ballroom. James could not breathe, such was the tightness of his chest, shock radiating through him.

  Miss Katie Brookes had told him in no uncertain terms, that George Grainger was nothing more than a family friend – and a dear friend to Jane. But after what he had overheard, James now feared that he was too late in his pursuit of Miss Jane, given that George Grainger had apparently proposed to her and was now waiting for her answer. It would make perfect sense for a lady to marry a gentleman she had known practically since birth, knowing that he knew her completely and trusting him to take care of her in their life together. But surely, if she was considering it, there might still be the opportunity for him to prove himself to Jane, to show her that he was the one who had begun to care for her with such a deep affection that it held sway over him.

  “Lord Halifax!”

  Blinking rapidly, he stared at the figure of Miss Jane Brookes, who was staring back at him with wide eyes. She had on a beautiful flowing gown of emerald green, her hair falling in long, copper coils at the back of her head. Her cheeks were a dusky pink, her hazel eyes seeming to be lit with shades of green, her mouth a little ajar as she gazed at him.

  His heart slammed into his chest, painfully.

  “Jane,” he whispered, closing his eyes at his sudden mistake. “I mean, Miss Brookes. How good to see you again.”

  “Indeed,” she replied, no smile curving her lips. “So very unexpected a meeting, Lord Halifax. Do excuse me.” She bobbed a curtsy and, without another look at him, turned her back and was gone.

  Chapter Four

  Jane’s heart was beating so fast she thought it might soon be heard by the other guests all swarming around her. She had been tardy, caught up in conversation with Lady Trenton, who had welcomed her with such warmth that Jane had fallen behind, which meant that George and Mary had already made their way into the ballroom.

  The last person she had expected to see had been Lord Halifax, and such had been her shock that she had spoken his name without realizing it. When he had turned to look at her, she had felt herself flush with the embarrassment of it all, aware of his searching gaze taking in her new gown, her beautifully styled hair and the brightness in her cheeks. So great had been her embarrassment that she had hurried away before she could make an even greater spectacle of herself, quite certain that she would not have to speak to him again that evening.

  “Jane!” Mary exclaimed, the smile falling from her face as she took in Jane’s red face and frightened eyes. “Goodness, what is the matter?”

  “Lord Halifax is here,” she gasped, one hand against her pounding heart. “I did not think he would be in attendance.”

  Mary frowned, her hand resting gently on Jane’s arm in an attempt to calm her. “You need not worry, my dear. There are so many gentlemen here that you will not even have time to let your gaze linger on him. George, will you –”

  “Do you have a dance card this evening, Miss Brookes?”

  Jane closed her eyes tightly for a moment, hearing Lord Halifax’s voice coming from over her shoulder. With Mary’s steadying hand removed from her arm, she slowly turned around to face him, almost overcome by his sudden nearness.

  “Lord Halifax,” she said again, trying to put a lightness into her voice that she did not quite feel. “Are you dancing this evening?”

  He smiled at her, his eyes alight with something she could not quite make out. “I do hope so,” he replied, inclining his head. “Your dance card, Miss Brookes?”

  She fumbled with the silk ribbon on her wrist, sliding it from her hand and handing it to him without a word. Her heart began to quicken as he perused it slowly, a smile spreading across his face.

  “It seems I am to have the pick of dances, my dear lady,” he murmured aloud, glancing up at her. “A waltz I think, although I would dearly love to take both.”

  A little confused at his compliment, Jane stared at him in astonishment, taking in the warmth in his eyes and seeing how he kept his gaze on her for just a fraction longer.

  “And the quadrille, although I confess I have not danced it in some time,” he said, with another smile. “I will do my very best not to put a foot wrong, Miss Brookes.”

  “Thank you, Lord Halifax,” she murmured, not quite sure what else to say. “You are very kind.”

  He handed the card back to her with a little bow, leaving her to stare at it as though, if she looked at it long enough, his name might disappear from her card, leaving her free of the torment she knew would await her from dancing in his arms.

  “I shall not keep you from the others who are to claim a dance with you,” he said, a little more stiffly. “Until later, Miss Brookes.”

  “Good evening, Lord Halifax,” she replied, turning around at once to see George Grainger now standing with Mary, glowering after the viscount.

  “What does he think he is doing?” George Grainger muttered, darkly, snatching the card from Jane’s hand. “He ought not to be dancing with you, Jane, not if he is engaged to your sister.”

  Mary shook her head. “There is nothing wrong with that, Grainger, as well you know. He is perhaps, considering that he ought to dance with his soon to be sister in law, simply to show good manners.”

  Jane saw George scribble his name down on her dance card, feeling quite overwhelmed with all that had just occurred. She did not particularly want to dance with the viscount, not when she was attempting to remove all tender feelings from her heart, but it seemed she was not to have her wish.

  “I will dance with you immediately thereafter,” George stated, handing her back her card. “You will not have to linger with him, Jane.”


  Appreciating his kindness, Jane thanked him carefully, feeling her stomach roiling at the thought of being in the viscount’s arms. “Thank you. You are kind to worry but I think I shall be quite all right. After all, are you not meant to be looking for a lady of your own, George?”

  George flushed and rolled his eyes. “Yes, you are quite right, but I feel quite protective over you, my dear girl. You are like a sister to me, as you know, and I do not want you to be in any way disconcerted.”

  “I shall make sure she has many gentlemen to dance with, Grainger,” Mary said, patting his hand. “Now do go on, or people will think that you are making some sort of scene over Jane and will become quite interested in our goings-on. That is how the gossip mill starts, my dear brother, as well you know.”

  Jane could not concentrate on anything during the next half hour, waiting for her first dance with Viscount Halifax. Even being handed a glass of wassail, she drank it without tasting the warm spices and sweet taste of apple. Instead, she greeted gentlemen politely, had her dance card signed and even danced three separate dances with three separate gentlemen, but for the life of her, she could neither recall their names nor what their conversation had been about. She was much too caught up with the thought of being in Lord Halifax’s arms.

  Her heart was beating so frantically as he approached her, that Jane was quite sure that she might fall to the floor in a faint. His eyes caught hers and held them fast, as though she were, in some way, tied to him, unable to move. Even though she loved this man desperately, even though she had a deep and unrelenting affection that always seemed to be alive within her, she could find not even a single spark of excitement at the thought of dancing with him. It would be nothing more than a continued agony, being held so close the man whom she could never call her own.

  “It is the quadrille, Miss Brookes.”

  She could barely move, only just managing to incline her head. At least this would prepare her for the waltz, where she would have to endure a prolonged dance with him holding her closer than ever before.

  “Might I offer you my arm?”

  His gaze was warm, a smile lighting them as he presented her his arm, which she had no other choice but to take. Her gloved hand burned with the heat of him, both hating and delighting in the closeness that this particular intimacy brought. Closing her eyes and knowing that both Mary and George would be dancing this set alongside her, Jane took a long breath and walked into the middle of the ballroom with Lord Halifax.

  “You left for London rather quickly,” Lord Halifax began, as the dancers took their places. “I was sorry not to have the opportunity to bid you farewell.”

  She smiled, tightly. “I did not think it necessary, Lord Halifax,” she replied, truthfully. After all, it was not as though they would not meet again very soon and very often if he was to marry her sister. “Although I am surprised to see you here.”

  “As am I,” he replied, as the music began. “I did not know that you were friends with Lady Harrows.”

  “Lady Harrows is the sister of George Grainger,” she replied, as they came together for the first time in the dance. “Indeed, it was she who invited me here to stay with her. She was not at the Carmody estate last Christmas, so it must have been during the summer Season that you became acquainted with her.”

  Lord Halifax suddenly went quite rigid, stumbling over his feet as though he had just come to a sudden realization. He then quickly apologized and tried to make amends for his slip, hurrying her a little too quickly across the floor.

  Thankfully, thereafter, the dance led them apart and she was given a small opportunity to catch her breath and still her mind. She was not quite sure what it was that had startled the viscount so but, looking at him now, she saw that he now appeared to be a little abashed.

  “I have been introduced to Lady Harrows on a previous occasion,” he muttered when they came back together. “It is only this very moment that I have made the connection between you both. It has been mentioned to me that you are very good friends.”

  “Yes, Lord Halifax, we are,” she admitted, as they were then taken apart from one another again. Her heart seared with pain as she reminded herself that the viscount had not recalled her at first, when they had been introduced back in Hatherley Hall. Her embarrassment crawled through her, bringing with it a rising heat of shame. She had laid eyes on Lord Halifax once, had spoken to him, danced with him and had found herself completely and utterly in love with him. It was quite obvious that he had not found it to be so with her.

  “I think I must apologize to you, Miss Brookes,” Lord Halifax said, as the dance came to a close and he bowed over her hand. “Although, perhaps not at this present moment. I can see that your next dance partner is already in pursuit of you, which is not in the least bit surprising, given just how wonderfully charming you are.”

  Despite herself, despite knowing that the viscount was simply being kind and considerate, Jane felt her cheeks run hot, wishing she could turn away from him so that he would not see her embarrassment. “Thank you,” she mumbled, looking up to see George Grainger bearing down upon them both, his jaw set and appearance rather firm.

  “Shall we, Miss Brookes?” he asked, sending a searing look towards Viscount Halifax as he took Jane’s arm. “I would not wish to miss our next dance.”

  “Indeed not,” Jane replied, finding herself able to smile at George Grainger in relief as she placed her hand on his arm. “Thank you for the dance, Lord Halifax.”

  “I look forward to the next one, Miss Brookes,” Lord Halifax replied, with a grand, sweeping bow. “Until our waltz, my dear lady.”

  Once out on the dance floor with George, Jane felt herself slowly begin to relax, relieved that she did not have too much difficulty in putting her feet in the right places whilst her mind slowly worked over what the viscount had said to her.

  “Are you quite all right, Jane?” George asked, looking rather grim as their dance began. “I rescued you almost immediately, did I not?”

  “Yes, indeed,” she replied, a small smile touching the corners of her mouth. “You did very well, Grainger. I thank you.”

  “And now you only have the waltz to endure,” George reminded her, gently. “I am sure you will do very well with him, Jane. After all, you have hidden your feelings for the gentleman for over a year and certainly from every other living soul apart from myself and Mary. Why, you have even hidden them from Katie!”

  A slight flush of guilt caught Jane’s cheeks. Katie had often pressed her to share with her what was going on in her heart, but she had always refused. There was something about her that always prevented her from sharing her heart with anyone other than George and, given that Mary had seen how she had reacted the first time she had met Lord Halifax, she had also confessed the truth to her. It was as though if she told her sister all that she felt, she would somehow be wrong to do so. Jane had spent years being practically ignored by both her parents, although her father, at least, was simply caught up in his work as opposed to truly being deliberately uninvolved. Her mother, however, had always favored Katie, given that Katie was both beautiful and a good deal more confident than Jane would ever be. It was as if her mother wanted to use Katie to, once more, regain her position of wealth and title in the nobility, given that her mother’s own family had once come from such a position. In that sense, Jane did not envy Katie nor did she feel in any way resentful of her sister. In fact, she did not feel angry about it in any way whatsoever. It was more that she had simply resigned herself that this was to be her lot in life and it was best, therefore, to endure and remain as quiet about it as one could, so as not to be even more of a failure and disappointment to her mother than she already was.

  “Jane?” George asked, gently, breaking into her hazy thoughts and making her realize, with a start, that the music had already ended. “Are you quite all right?”

  “Yes….yes,” she stammered, curtsying rather abruptly. “I was just….thinking.”

  “
I can see that,” George replied, with a slight lift to his brow. “Come now, you need not look so worried. The waltz will be over very soon, you can wish him happy and then continue on in London as you are. It is not as though he has asked to call upon you, or walk with you, or the like?”

  “No,” Jane answered, her breath leaving her mouth in rush. “No indeed, he has not. You are quite right, George. It is just a dance. Nothing more.”

  “You need not engage him in conversation if you do not wish it,” he reminded her, leading her from the floor and in the opposite direction of where Lord Halifax stood. “Just smile and nod and it will be over before you know it. Just do not go to pieces in his arms, Jane. Do not let your heart become entangled all over again.”

  Lifting her chin, Jane tried to find some sort of confidence, knowing that she could not show Lord Halifax any sort of emotion. “You are quite right, Grainger,” she murmured, softly. “I will do just that.”

  Chapter Five

  James let out a long, steadying breath, hating that he had been so caught up with dancing with Miss Jane last evening that he had quite forgotten to ask her if he might call upon her. The feeling of having her in his arms as they had twirled across the floor was one he was quite sure he would never forget.

  It had been nothing more than love. He was quite certain of it. To look down into her eyes and see her delightful face looking back at him had been nothing short of magical.

  And it had entirely robbed him of speech, it seemed. She too had been quiet and reserved, which was just as he had expected her to be, but it had not made the moment any less sweet. It had just frustrated him more than he could say, to have had to give her up to George Grainger almost the moment the waltz had come to an end.

 

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