Scarred: Sailor’s Grave #3

by Elyse, Drew

Until Gwen went on.

  “It was the same way she’d point to me and talk about how he disfigured his own daughter.”

  I felt something break inside me. Something I’d had a lock on for a long time. A control that I’d had since I started life over as the man I was now. The man who didn’t let anger control him, because I’d seen what it did to my own fucking father.

  But hearing her say that set that feeling loose.

  “That was the word she used,” Gwen went on, her voice empty and only adding to the flames burning through me. “She said it again and again. At the trial, the sentencing, during the divorce proceedings. In front of lawyers and judges and a courtroom full of people. Disfigured.

  “I knew she’d claim it was just for the sake of getting justice for me if I asked, so I never did. But I knew that was how she really saw me. I’d once been the daughter that, while a strain on her ability to be all about her, she’d showed off with pride. Afterward, she was never the same. Because I wasn’t beautiful to her anymore.”

  Before I could tell her that was bullshit, that her mother was a fucking monster for treating her that way, she kept talking.

  “I just wonder if I am this way because she made me a pawn in their fight.”

  I couldn’t contain myself. I reached out, cupping her cheek in a firm hold and turning her head to me. I needed her to see, needed to know that I meant what I was about to say.

  “You aren’t any way. You’re beautiful. Your scars don’t fucking change that. You certainly are fucking disfigured no matter what shit she spouted.”

  She tried to shake her head, then to pull away. I let her face go, but if she’d so much as tried tout more distance than that between us, I wouldn’t have allowed it.

  “I’ve spent the last eleven years having people tell me she was right. Even when they don’t ay it, I see it all over their faces when they look at mine. Days before I met you, I had a guy call and yell at Steve in the middle of our date because he was pissed Steve and Caroline set him up with someone who looks like me.”

  “Then he’s a fucking asshole, and he never deserved to have a chance with you.”

  Her arms flicked out in agitation, like it was me that wasn’t getting the fucking point.

  “It’s not just him, Park! It’s all the time. Even once I was able to accept myself as I am, other people can’t. I get looks everywhere I go because of this. People whisper and point. They talk about how fucking tragic I am. Fucking Jeff said straight to my face that…”

  “That what?”

  “Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”

  It did. It was why she’d taken me up on the offer to move in here even though she’d been unsure about it. Because that fucker said something twisted about her face.

  I wanted to find that asshole, see how he liked to be fucking scarred.

  “Fuck people,” I ground out. “Fuck them if they can’t see how beautiful you are.”

  She was too gone in her own pain, in all of this that she’d been living for years, to really hear me. “They haven’t even seen the rest. They only see my face and think that.”

  I grabbed onto her wrists, trying to get her to see me, hear what I was saying. “I have. I’ve seen the rest, and I’m telling you, it’s just scars. They don’t matter.”

  She shook her head, a despair that went down to her soul coming into her face. “You haven’t though. You saw the back, and that one was the worst, but you haven’t seen it all. You don’t know.”

  How could she think it would matter? Didn’t she fucking see that I’d been gone for her for so long? Or had all those assholes that had seen all that was her and focused only on a few scars really blinded her so much?

  “So show me.”

  She jerked, and I could feel herself readying to run. “What?”

  “You’re so sure you know what I’d think if I saw the rest, then show me.”

  She fought her way out of my hold, jumping off the couch. She backed up until she was standing in the middle of the living room but stopped when I stood. She knew she couldn’t run from me. Her panicked eyes fixed on mine, but I couldn’t back down.

  “Show me,” I demanded again. “Prove me wrong.”

  Steel took over the fear, and in the next second, she whipped her shirt off and threw it to the ground.

  “There! See!”

  I saw. I saw the delicate curve of her waist, the swells of her breasts in the light blue bra she had on. I saw her heaving breaths. And I saw the scars that slashed across her side, that disappeared under the bra.

  “You’re beautiful.”

  “Stop it,” she whispered, and it was a plea. “Stop pretending you don’t see them.”

  “I can see them, Gwen. I can see the one on your face. I could see the one I covered with the tattoo. I can see these now. But they don’t matter. Scars don’t make you not the most beautiful fucking woman I’ve ever seen. Scars don’t hide the fact that even though you’ve been through hell, both back then and since, because of that night, that you are still this vibrant woman that has captivated me since the beginning. I can see them, but they aren’t what I see when I look at you because you glow so fucking bright it’s blinding.”

  I was moving before I finished confessing it all, before I finished telling her how much she’d had me from the start. But I wasn’t the only one. Gwen crashed into me as I wrapped my arms around her.

  And I finally kissed her.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Park

  There was nothing better than the taste of her in my mouth, the feel of her beneath my hands. Nothing compared to the high that was having her up against me.

  The fact that any man could have had a shot at being right where I was then and let something as stupid as a few scars ruin that was insanity. I’d meant what I’d said, any asshole who couldn’t see that Gwen was perfection didn’t deserve the shot.

  Fuck, I did know that and I still didn’t deserve to be where I was right then.

  I wasn’t walking away, though. I’d be right there for as long as she let me.

  I groaned as she nipped at my lip. Gwen’s kiss was just like her, passionate, playful, hot as hell. She wasn’t reserved or waiting for me to take the lead. It was a give and take, both of us demanding what we needed and granting those demands in turn.

  When she pulled back, it took all my willpower to let her rather than yanking her sweet lips back to mine. Catching my breath, I watched her do the same, loving the dazed look in her eyes and the way her cheeks were flushed.

  “What are we doing?”

  I didn’t want to do this now. I didn’t want to court the fact that she might’ve let me kiss her like that only because her emotions were running high, not because she wanted me the way I’d wanted her for fucking weeks. But it was smart.

  I gave it to her straight. “I want you. I have since the beginning, but there’s been so much shit between us it never felt right to act on that. Having you here, being around you all the time, I’m only sinking further. I want everything, but I’ll take whatever I can get from you.”

  She blinked at me, her chest still moving with her heavy breaths. I was only so strong. Her standing there, no shirt, her lips swollen slightly from mine was a combination made to bring me to my knees.

  “Gwen.” It was rough, forced out past my entire body being strung tight to keep from jumping on her.

  “I was trying to figure out how you ask out your roommate without making everything super awkward,” she blurted. “I didn’t want to ruin everything, but I…”

  I prowled back through the couple feet that separated us until her supple body was pressed against me. “But you what?”

  She swallowed, her eyes flicking between mine and my lips. “But I’ve wanted you just as long.”

  That was all I needed. We’d have shit to sort if this was happening, but it could wait. Right then, there were more important things.

  I kissed her again, not holding back anymore. Her hands clutched on
to my shirt, holding tee tight to her. As if I was going anywhere. The furthest I wanted to get from her was just enough to rip that fucking shirt off so I could feel her hands on my skin. I couldn’t bring myself to step away, though. Not when I had her to touch. When I could run my hands all over her soft skin, tracing the curves of her sides, drawing long lines down her back.

  I never let up kissing her, not even when I felt her tighten up as my hands moved over her scars. She had to learn that they didn’t matter. Not to me. In time, I’d make sure she knew she had no need to hide herself with me.

  Running my hands up her sides, I slowed as I approached the curves of her breasts, waiting. I gave her the chance to slow things down, but my Gwen didn’t want that. She arched her back, pressing more firmly into me. I cupped one pert breast, loving the little moan that escaped her when I did. I used my thumb to trace the top edge of her bra, my touch light, until she squirmed beneath my hands seeking more.

  I was about to get the bra out of my way when a weight pressed into my calf. It didn’t register right away, not until I was nudged twice. Then, I realized.

  Tearing my mouth from Gwen’s—and loving the way she chased my lips like I was stealing something vital from her—I looked down to see Thaddeus with both of his front paws up and pressing into my leg. Even with my attention, he stayed where he was like he wanted to be involved in whatever this new thing was that was happening. I wasn’t about to take her for the first time with the damn cat watching.

  Gwen buried her face in my neck, still pressed to me from hips on up. I felt her lips just above my collar before they opened and her tongue caressed the same spot.

  Fuck.

  The last thing I wanted was to stop her, but I couldn’t do this properly out here, or with an audience—feline or not. I grabbed her hand and told her, “Come with me.”

  I led her back to my room, taking care to shut the door before Thad could follow us in. Gwen backed toward the bed, her hands undoing the button on her shorts as she went. I b-lined for the bedside lamp. I wasn’t doing this not being able to see her properly.

  Despite the hint of trepidation I saw lingering beyond the heat in her eyes, she pushed the shorts from her hips and sat down on the bed before backing up to lie down.

  That sight, all of her gorgeous self stretched out on my bed, offering me everything I wanted, was one I’d never forget.

  “You are fucking captivating.”

  She flushed, and I could see the self-doubt war with what I was telling her. But my beauty didn’t let it win.

  Putting a hand in the bed near her shoulder, I leaned over her. Her head came up, seeking a kiss. I gave her a short, deep one before I pulled back. I wanted to watch, wanted to take in all of her in as I touched her.

  Starting at her ankles, I ran my hands up her legs, taking my time even as her eyes grew mutinous. I was up to her knees when she kicked both legs out.

  “Park, please.”

  “Patience,” I chided.

  Shifting my weight forward, I dropped my hips between her thighs. She moaned as I pressed my covered cock against her.

  “Let me enjoy you,” I coaxed as I ground against her.

  “Hurry up.”

  Not a chance.

  If she let me, there’d be times when it was fast. There’d be times when we had to be quick, and I wouldn’t hold back to take us both there as fast as I could manage. There would be times where I had no control, or she didn’t, and we went at each other full force. But there would also be times like this, where I took as long as I wanted to savor all that was her.

  I gripped onto her thighs, enjoying the way my fingers dug into her softness, and spreading them wider. Only once she settled there did I run one hand up the inside of her leg until I was tracing the edge of her panties.

  “You want me to touch you?”

  “Yes!”

  How could I deny her?

  I teased along the surface, loving that the fabric was damp. Her hips started to rock, seeking more. Only once those movements turned desperate did I press in hard, using the whole length of my hand to tease every inch. Her head fell back, a long groan coming from her as she worked her hips against me.

  The smell of her had my mouth watering. The sight of her had me aching to rip away that fabric and bury myself inside her.

  I worked her until I was sure that if I gave her much more, she’d come just like that. When I stopped, she cried out, but I ignored it. I ripped off my shirt, then her underwear. Hoisting her legs over my shoulders, I buried my face between her thighs and devoured her.

  She cried out, her back arching, and it didn’t take more than a couple licks before she was working her pussy against my mouth, trying to reach that edge. I didn’t stop her. With each movement of her hips, I gave her more. I licked and sucked faster, harder, pushing her to the precipice. She was right there, her body tightening in preparation for it, when I thrust my tongue inside of her.

  She came apart on a cry of my name, her walls fluttering around my tongue as I kept at her. When it left her, I still didn’t stop until she was jerking away, too sensitive to take it.

  I climbed off of her, going for the nightstand. It took a minute to find the condoms buried under the other shit I’d swept into that drawer. I got my hands on one and had it open a second later.

  “Take that off, baby,” I ordered as I undid my jeans. Gwen didn’t hesitate to undo and slip off her bra. My cock jerked at the sight of her lush tits freed. I wrapped a hand around the length, squeezing hard to take the edge off before I slipped the condom on.

  I took the time to kiss my way up her body, giving her clit a little lick as I passed that made her whole body jerk. When I settled over her again, her hands went right to my hair, pulling me down to her.

  Before I gave her my mouth, I asked, “Ready for me?”

  “Yes,” she breathed against my lips, following it with a swipe of her tongue.

  I took her mouth and thrust inside.

  Our moans mingled, one sound of pleasure as I held myself still inside her. It was giving her a chance to adjust, but it was giving me one too. The moment, being inside her, having her taste in my mouth and her arms around me, I was lost. There was nothing left in the world but her.

  She took over the kiss and wrapped her legs around me, urging me to move. I couldn’t resist that pull. I started slow, thrusting in and out evenly to feel the ecstasy of her pussy sucking me back in. Gwen didn’t want slow. She rocked into my movements, taking me as deep as she could.

  I growled, losing hold on my sanity at the feel of her. She knew she was breaking me, and she didn’t care. She kept on rocking her hips, riding me even as I took her.

  “You can’t just take it how I give it, huh? You need more of me.”

  The words only made her rear up harder.

  “Fuck, beautiful,” I groaned, losing my fight to take it slow and thrusting into her harder.

  “More,” she begged.

  I gave it to her. More and more. Taking her with all I had as Gwen gave it right back. I felt it coming, but I would go with her.

  Shoving a hand between us, I roughly worked her clit. That was all she needed. Her pussy clamped down on me, squeezing my cock so tight there was no stopping it. The blinding pleasure took over. I kept thrusting, drawing it out for her as long as I could, even as I came.

  When it left us both, I rolled onto my back, bringing her with me. She collapsed onto my chest, both of us panting.

  I’d never felt anything like that. Sex was great, but sex with Gwen was fucking otherworldly. No one could compare.

  After all the rest, all she’d given me. She gave me more when she whispered, “Holy shit,” into my shoulder.

  And I did something I’d definitely never done after sex before.

  I started laughing.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Gwen

  It felt like someone was watching me.

  I blinked my eyes open, trying to focus on the blurry, too
-bright image. When I did, I found Thaddeus sitting a few feet from my face, watching me intently.

  What the hell?

  The solid warmth at my back and around my middle shifted, pulling me in tighter. That’s when my brain kicked in and I remembered. I was in Park’s bed. Naked in Park’s bed.

  Part of my brain was already starting to freak out, to question if we’d made a huge mistake—and by we, I really meant me because I was going to be heartbroken if this went south. The rest of me was too tired and far too comfortable with Park wrapped around me to care. I went with the latter.

  If everything went to hell in a handbasket, that’d be future Gwen’s problem.

  Present Gwen was going to live it up.

  At least, that was the plan before the familiar weight of cat paws started digging into my side. They moved across me, then disappeared to climb all over Park. His arm tightened in response, his face going into my hair.

  “Damn it, Thad,” he grumbled in a sleep-rough voice that had me thinking of anything but sleeping. What I’d heard from him in the mornings was more alert than that, and not nearly as potent.

  “He’ll go away,” I argued.

  “No, he won’t.” Even as he said it, one hand slid up to cup my breast, rolling my nipple between his thumb and finger.

  I arched back, pressing against part of him that was very awake already.

  He growled, and my god, was that sound even more effective than his sleepy voice.

  His hand gripped my thigh just above the knee and shoved it up, turning me forward onto my stomach. My heart started beating fast. I was so ready. So, so ready for more after last night.

  “Rub your clit,” he ordered. I didn’t hesitate, shooting my hand between my legs to do as he said. I knew he could see my fingers from behind me. “Good. I’ll be back in one minute. You keep that sweet pussy ready for me.”

  I cried out in protest as he kissed between my shoulder blades, then jumped out of bed. What I didn’t do was stop working my clit. Not when the cold of losing him hit, not as I watched his bare behind disappear out of the room with the cat trailing after him. Not when he came marching back in, face determined, cock hard. I didn’t stop until he’d pulled on a condom and yanked my arm out from beneath my legs.