Charlotte uncrossed her arms and looked at Calum in surprise. “You want me to help your brother with bringing the clan back to rights?”
He nodded. “Aye. I know ‘tis a lot tae ask, but Julia and I dinnae know how long we will be away. The trial could take weeks or more. She doesnae know that I’m letting ye know all of this. She wouldnae want tae put too much on yer plate.”
She nodded slowly. “I will do my best. I will try to convince my father. I have prepared a letter to send out as soon as possible.”
“Thank ye, lass. My brother will be in need of a strong partner such as ye. But be careful; he would never admit it.” Calum smiled and winked and then left the room. At the desk, Charlotte sat poised over her book, surprised at what she had just heard.
She knew that it was appreciated that she stay to help with the healing, even though she was not a properly trained healer. But she thought Julia had mainly asked her to stay because she wanted to help Charlotte avoid the boredom and entrapment of barracks life. Charlotte didn’t expect this. A request from a laird to help his brother. It felt so purposeful, and it felt nice to be needed. Charlotte couldn’t avoid the pleasure of that feeling. It grew on her like a fever, and she felt the glorious joy of belonging somewhere, and she wished that her father would never ask for her to come and stay with him.
It wasn’t that he didn’t love her or that she didn’t love him. But he wanted her to be a perfect young lady. And she fit the bill in every sense of the word, except she knew she always wanted more than that. She wanted a life filled with something else. That’s why she never told him about her knowledge of medicine. And why she wrote in her letter that she was needed to help Julia in her female duties as lady of the clan while her cousin was away.
She knew that was something her father would approve of. Charlotte turned towards the book and fingered the pages lightly. Tears pricked at her eyes, annoying her. She had never been asked to help in any way before. It touched her, and she wished more than ever that she could make a success of her brief time as a healer before she would need to go. But she would have to study as hard as she could. She turned the page and came across the drawing of a man’s body.
She found herself staring at it, thinking once again about the Campbell man who had pushed her to the ground. The member in the picture was much the same, but instead, it hung limply against the man’s body, and Charlotte was intrigued by it. She was so intrigued that she didn’t notice a new shadow coming towards her in the library, and she jumped once more at the sound of her name.
She turned and saw Angus. Her heart fluttered for a moment before she said, “Ah, come to tell me you’ve changed your mind about keeping my secret? You almost gave me away at the meal! Why would you do that? I thought we were in agreement?”
She looked so desperate, and she put her hands to her hips to further her point. Angus hesitated for a moment, his eyes wrinkled in concern, but then his expression smoothed. “Charlotte, it might be a good idea tae go and live with yer father. At the barracks, ye can be protected. Here, I am only one man. I cannae be everywhere with ye at once!”
“No matter how hard you try. I see you shadowing my every movement.”
“And it is good that I did so! Is it nae?” He let the question hang in the air until he saw her nod sharply and almost imperceptibly. She sat down with a huff.
“Angus, I need to figure out what ails these people. You know I cannot just let them lie ill without assistance! It wouldn’t be right. I am all they have at the moment.”
He sighed. “Then, I will have tae double my protection. I will send Liam with ye if ye’d prefer his presence.”
Charlotte brightened and sat up straighter, happy at the prospect that he would send Liam, easy-going, like a puppy, Liam. He wouldn’t dare interfere with her methods. “Yes, that would be a lovely compromise.”
She watched with delight as Angus grimaced briefly before returning to his stoic expression once again. “Fine. But if I see that there are any more potential occurrences like the last one, I will write tae yer father myself and have him take ye back.”
“You wouldn’t dare!” she cried, standing up again, confident that someone couldn’t possibly go against her in this manner. It would be so ultimately interfering. It would be so very Angus. She knew he meant it.
He moved towards her, whispering harshly, “I would. ‘Tis my duty tae protect the clan and its guests. Julia is now my sister, and therefore my family. She desires yer protection and safety above any other.” Charlotte watched as his face moved closer to hers. She could see his warm brown eyes and noticed for the first time the flecks of honey-gold in them. Her breath caught in her chest as she took in his face.
Undeniably handsome.
The phrase produced itself in her mind as she watched, frozen for a moment. She thought about his image asking her to dance at a ball in London, but she couldn’t see it. He was not that type of man, the type she had always desired. She had always pictured herself with a clean-shaven man with a tall, imposing figure and a royal nose. It was what she was bred to desire. But, instead, she felt, deep in her gut, a desire growing for this man who was nearly like a beast, his muscled bulk so large, it was impressive.
He was awakening things in her she did not know that she possessed, and she longed once again to touch the rough skin of his chest like she did that day she’d first met him as she cleaned his wounds. She nearly held her hand out to do so; they were so close, but she refrained. She suddenly hated this feeling that he gave her. She felt so helpless against it, and she was not a woman who lost her head. She could not be.
If she did that, then she would lose everything. She had to follow the plan of marrying well. She made a face of frustration. She recoiled slightly and responded in anger, “But, Julia would never desire my confinement, Angus. Keep that in mind before you scold me next.” Angus did not respond. Taking the book and the letter, she fled the room, grateful to be out of his presence.
* * *
Angus did not understand what was going on with him. One minute he was bursting with anger; the next, he was filled with desire. Charlotte Andrews was playing him like a well-practiced game. He knew it, and yet he was falling for it. He remembered when she’d first arrived, how she’d burst into his life like a flame, and then she had begun to use all of the tricks a woman possessed.
He’d noticed, but he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that he had. She was a proud woman, and he could tell that she was used to getting what she wanted. For some reason, he didn’t want to give in to her charms. But he knew that many a man had and would. Lord knows, he’d done so before and ended up looking like a bloody fool. He got out all the frustration of his desire of her by his anger and attempts to control. That, in a small way, got some of the heat out of him, without giving in to what he really wanted.
And what he had really wanted at that moment in the library before she’d walked away was to crush her form to his and kiss her with everything he had. She was so infuriating, but she was like having a whole bottle of whiskey; she so bewitched his senses.
He had to admit, he respected her. It was the same way he respected Julia, who had fought against his brother and pushed to do what she wanted to do and thought was right. Both women were extremely intelligent and trusted the workings of their minds. He couldn’t bear women who were only focused on their appearance or finding ways to trap unsuspecting men into marriage. Many of the clan women were like that. Perhaps that was why he had known Julia was for his brother the moment he met her.
But he had never desired Julia, whereas Charlotte was becoming more and more of a distraction. Clearly, other men thought so as well. His whole body tensed at the thought of that Campbell bastard trying to rape her. If he had been a few minutes too late, it would have been over and done with. Why could she not understand that she needed protection? He would have to impart to Liam the great importance of his task of protecting her.
But, he thought with s
light distaste, Liam’s eyes were already turned by the lass, and he would be more than happy to accompany her all over the island. Charlotte would be happy at least one man was giving in to her charms and allowing her to walk all over them. Then, maybe she would stop looking at him as if he was the devil.
Well, Liam is welcome tae the angry, arrogant lass who thinks that she knows what is best. He is welcome to her diatribes, her words, the look of her lips as she purses them in anger, and the way her beautiful golden-red hair flies around her as she rides, and...
Angus cleared his throat and started to leave the library. This train of thought was getting him nowhere.
Chapter Four
Charlotte was grateful to be sitting with her cousin Julia in Julia’s chambers. Julia, of course, slept in the main bedroom with Calum, but she had her own space in which to read, work on plans for the Isle, or to simply be. It was her haven away from all of the stressors of being in charge of a whole clan, and she and Charlotte had spent many pleasant hours there.
They sat there before the evening meal, indulging in a much-deserved glass of sherry. Charlotte had been unsuccessful with the book and her research. She had taken it back to her room and tried to focus, but all she could think about was the weight of Calum’s request and her new-found understanding of her own traitorous body, which was yearning for Angus even as she wished to hate him in her heart. She would have to research later.
And, so she’d left the book in a huff and moved to give her letter to the butler to be mailed as soon as possible. She was told that Liam would be happy to do the job as he and Fergus, another of Calum’s men, were going to the other side to begin hunting again and to see if deer were coming out of their wintery hiding places.
She thought with satisfaction, on her way to Julia, about the way that Angus’ face had looked when she’d appeared so happy to have Liam as her protector and guide for as long as she would be staying on the Isle of Mull. It would be much easier without Angus always around, pointing out things she ought to consider.
When she arrived at Julia’s chambers, Julia had handed her a glass, and they sat before a merry hearth. It was still cold, but not as biting as January and December had been, and so, with the warming weather, the both of them were feeling much more comfortable within the castle walls, wearing only their gowns and no plaids when sitting before the fire. Julia took a sip. “So, have you sent your letter then?”
“I have, and I believe it will be very well-received. I painted a picture to my father about the need for a womanly touch and the need to act as the lady of a clan while its true lady has departed.” Charlotte laughed, and Julia followed suit.
“I don’t know my uncle very well, but he would definitely approve of such a wholly good, noble, and feminine mission.”
Charlotte bit her lip. “I do hope that no word of my working as a healer will reach him. He is very lax with his instruction of me, but only if he does not feel that I have behaved improperly or indecorously. If he hears of it, he will lock me up in a room in the barracks and search out a husband for me himself.” Charlotte chuckled, but without as much mirth.
“Tell me, cousin. How did your father react when he found out my Uncle Andrew had killed his brother-in-law all those years ago?” Julia moved the tiny glass in her hands, watching her friend with interest.
Charlotte sighed. “Well, he told me he was not very surprised, knowing the man as he did, but he was ashamed to have left you in his care. I’m sorry; I tried to convince him. But, Andrew had threatened father with so many horrible things. And my father is just...too weak. He would not fight back. I fear my mother would have been ashamed of him.”
“If she is anything like you, then I’m sure she would have,” Julia said quietly.
Julia paused, another question on her lips. “Charlotte, what will you do if your father demands your presence in response to your letter? Will you continue to convince him, or will you return to the barracks?”
Charlotte looked into the flames. It was what she greatly feared. “I don’t know. I will see what kind of mood he is in. Perhaps I would be more convincing if I could go and visit him. I could plead my case. But,” she paused for a moment, thinking over her next words. “I’m not ready to leave. I’m so happy that you asked me to stay, Julia. Your friendship has meant the world to me these many months. And here I thought a lifetime of society balls and functions was all I needed to be happy. But something was missing. You are giving me that something.”
Julia clasped Charlotte’s hand. “And you have saved me. I was practically a recluse with a madman and murderer as my guardian. Now, I cannot believe where I am and what I do. It’s like a miracle. I want you to be happy, dear Charlotte, and so I hope your father will listen to your wise counsel.”
Both of them laughed at Julia’s intonation. Charlotte felt as if she was right on the cusp of being happy, but there were a few things in her way: her father’s approval, the healing of the clan members, Angus, and what she would do next after it was all over. That thought scared her the most. While she would be able to stay for a time on the Isle of Mull, doing her healing work, she knew it couldn’t possibly last forever. She would have to leave and find a husband. She knew her father was firm about that. But she secretly wished she could do something else.
He would tolerate her “playing,” as he called it, for a time, but he wanted her to marry and marry well. He wanted to live the rest of his life in luxury, and Charlotte was his tool to do so. She knew that weight was on her shoulders. She loved her father, and she wanted to follow his wishes. It had also been her desire to marry well, but now, her desires seemed to be shifting. She was finding so much purpose in her new work. When she saw a patient’s face ease as the body found relief, it fulfilled something deeper within her. She was more than just a woman, more than a pretty face, more than her clothes and dancing abilities. She had a purpose. She could help people.
But this world was not one in which women could do as they pleased. That’s when she realized that Angus’ interference bothered her so much. It was as if she was away from the real world for a time, and she wanted to treasure her freedom for as long as she could. Even if she returned to London, married a wealthy man, and lived an easy life, there would still be restrictions placed on her.
“I hope so too, dear Julia. But I also hope that you and Calum have a lovely time together. I know you are taking yourselves to a murder trial, but it is also time you can spend with your new husband without the worries of the clan plaguing you both. Let us take care of your land while you’re away.”
Julia’s uncle, while capturing Julia, had revealed to her that he had killed his own brother, her father, in order to inherit his wealth. He was, if all went according to the order of the court, soon to be hanged for it.
“Oh? Us, is it?” Julia’s look changed to a devilish grin.
Charlotte fought a blush. “I just mean that I would help you in any way I can.” She didn’t want to reveal that Calum had asked her personally to stay, for Angus’ sake. “To repay you for all that you’ve done.”
“Well, that does not need repayment in any way. You helped me find a way to get my freedom! I will be eternally grateful. But, it would be nice to know that Duart Castle is safe in your hands. In both your hands.”
Julia attempted another question. “What do you think of Angus, by the way? It appears you two don’t get along all that well. I never wanted to say anything, but I’m sorry you both can’t find common ground. Seeing as he is my new brother, and you are my dearest cousin and friend.”
Charlotte stared at a smiling Julia and sighed. “I know why you are asking this question, my friend.”
Julia grinned even wider.
Charlotte continued, “But your hopes will never come to fruition. He is not a man I could ever see myself being with. You know me, don’t you, Julia? I am a woman of the city. I need a clean-shaven man fawning over me hand and foot. I want to be leading society with balls and events.” Charlot
te dramatically laid a hand lightly upon her forehead and swooned. In her mind, she added, and my father would most vehemently fight against such a match.
Julia laughed. “I may have thought so before, my dear, but not any longer. I know that the rugged highlander type appeals to you, and Angus is a very handsome man. Most women in London would not be able to avoid my brother’s charms.”
Charlotte straightened. Charlotte knew that her cousin was right. “Ah yes, you have succumbed to the illness you mention and so think that others must. I, however, have no interest in a man who wishes to thwart my every move and control me just as any other man does!”
Julia clasped her hands together and paused in thought. “I shall miss you dearly, Charlotte Andrews. You entertain me to no end. Not every man desires to control and repress. You would do well to remember that when there are so many lovely men around, especially on this Isle. But, before I begin to set my mind to packing for my trip to London, I must say, be patient with Angus. To me, he was all kindness and aid. But, to a different woman, who he is very much attracted to, I think he would be the self that most people see: reserved, strict, stoic.”
Highlander’s Forbidden Desire: Wanting her was forbidden, having her was his ruin... Page 29