“Attracted to?” Charlotte felt her heart flutter and her face flush with heat. She had suddenly gone from a confident woman, ready to respond to each of her friends’ remarks with finesse, to a speechless coward, unsure how to react.
Julia laughed at her friend’s reaction. “Ha! Can you not see it? Then you are a greater fool than I thought. Here I thought that Charlotte Andrews was the all-knower of men, and her powers were far greater than my own. Do you not know when a man is attracted to you?”
Charlotte scrunched her face up in thought. She was learning so much about herself on this isle. It was like she was nothing that she had ever thought. She was a completely different person. She spoke slowly, thinking about all of her interactions with Angus. “Well, he has always treated me with a cold sort of distance. I never dreamed that he would...I mean, I had tried, but he was so different...no you couldn’t be serious, Julia. Men, when they are attracted to a woman, fawn, and they preen, and they try to get you alone. But, this is not that.”
Julia burst into hearty laughter and laid her head back on the cushion, worn out from glee. “Oh, Charlotte, not that I know much of men, but I have learned what I could since living here. Men in London who are gentlemen are so full of themselves that they wish to make a show of their affection. But, here in the Highlands, where men are meant to be strong, capable, and devoid of emotion so that they can be good in battle, they may show their interest in different ways: anger, cold distance, arguments. Does that make sense?”
Charlotte shook her head. “Not at all.” But she could feel herself getting excited about the prospect that maybe Angus did find her beautiful and desired her.
“Well, all I ask is that you be patient with him. He is trying his best, and I know he is nervous about us leaving. Don’t trouble him too much.” She grinned at Charlotte, and Charlotte rolled her eyes.
“You should speak to him about not giving me trouble, you know. Why am I the only one being lectured?” Charlotte asked, with her hands in the air.
“Because you are much more in tune with your emotions and what to do with them. And you don’t have the weight of a clan on your shoulders.”
Charlotte nodded in understanding. I have only the weight of what to do with my life, she thought with fear. They spent the rest of their short time together laughing and talking about Julia’s trip, but then Julia needed to begin packing, and Charlotte left her, hugging her at the door.
“I wish you both a safe and pleasant journey. Don’t forget to write! As often as you can!”
“Of course!” Julia said. “There will be so much I’d like to know about what’s happening here.” Julia winked at Charlotte, and she began to back away, shaking her head.
“I do love you, but I shall not dignify that answer with a response, dear Julia. Goodbye! Enjoy the time with your rough Highland husband!” She wiggled her fingers at a laughing Julia and fled to her room to call for a maid to order a tray for dinner. She thought perhaps it might look strange if she was to eat in the Great Hall without Julia and Calum to be by her side as they ate.
She waited, sitting alone in front of her vanity, waiting for the maid to come so that she could send her instructions. But, when the maid arrived, she seemed surprised by Charlotte’s request.
“But, Miss, dinner is already served for ye. It is downstairs on the table. It was the expressed desire of the Laird and Lady that ye eat in the Hall.”
Charlotte stood up, confused. Why would they want that? Well, she didn’t want them to go to any extra trouble, so she replied, “I see. Well, I will be there. But, could you assist me in dressing?”
The maid nodded, and Charlotte pointed to a green gown nearby. She had been longing to wear it for so long, but there hadn’t been any chance to wear it in the wild hills of Scotland, as they lacked sorely in proper balls, so she decided a dinner alone would be the best time. She would have nothing to prove or show to anyone, and she could simply enjoy herself and think about tomorrow’s work.
The maid tightened her corset and removed the old gown, pulling the new pieces over her head. It fit Charlotte perfectly, and she smiled at the way the green highlighted the red in her hair perfectly. If ever she returned to London, she would have to wear more green.
She felt the lace at the square neckline with her fingertips and was pleased. It felt so good to wear nice things again. She completed the outfit with a thin layer of cream ribbon around her neck and had the maid deal with the savage mess her hair had become. Staying in a braid was not an option, even though she thought she looked rather fetching in an unconventional way.
She liked the way she could shirk her normal societal duties here in Duart Castle and get away with it. No one had said a word about her hairstyle. The maid pulled her hair back and pinned it behind her head so that her face was open. She looked like the perfect dinner guest for a Lord’s party. Dinner for one, she smiled at herself. It would be a lovely evening, free of everything and everyone. This could be one of her last nights of total freedom.
With one last look in the mirror, she wandered down from her room to the Hall. It was one of her favorite rooms in the whole of Duart Castle. It was large yet cozy in its own way. It was so very different from large meeting rooms in busy London, all paint and glass. But, this room, it was just itself with simple stone walls. It did not need to cover itself up with flair and flourish but could exist as what it was meant to be and be beautiful, giving people pleasure.
She looked down at her own gown. Perhaps she should take a lesson from the Great Hall of Duart Castle. She was always so used to flaunting her charms wherever she went. She did not know any other way to exist. A woman was meant to showcase her beauty, was she not? But was that all she was worth? Maybe according to her father and many men, but Charlotte was finding a different way.
She approached the main table to eat and saw it was filled with food and lit with candles. Surely this was enough to feed ten. She was merely one woman. She sat at one side of the table, feeling a little self-conscious of her lone presence in such a large room, even though she had been so excited about it. She hoped the servants wouldn’t be giggling at her behind her back.
She found a filled wine bottle to her right, filled her glass, and took a grateful sip, ready to enjoy her meal. But, then to her side, she heard a voice.
“Is nae a lady meant tae sit at one end of the table and a man another?” She turned to see Angus, bathed, and dressed in more finery than she had seen him wear before. Charlotte choked a little on her wine in surprise.
Chapter Five
The corners of Angus’ mouth turned up slightly. He put his hands behind his back and walked to one end of the table, and pulled out the chair. He raised his eyebrows.
Charlotte finally recovered herself. “Correcting me again, I see,” she said. But, she stood anyway, brushing her hands on her skirts, and Angus felt a little satisfaction at her somewhat quiet acquiescence to his motion.
She sat and allowed him to push in her chair for her. For a brief moment, his knuckles brushed upon her back, and Angus wished his hands could have remained there for just a little longer. He moved to the other end of the table. He was nearly speechless from the way she looked when he had first seen here there, drinking her wine and sitting in her beautiful silky green gown. But he tried his best to recover himself. He’d expected to be eating alone, knowing that Charlotte would not want to eat dinner with just him for company. But here she was, resplendent, dressed as she would be for a fancy ball in London, the fire and candlelight dancing off of her curls.
His eyes wandered from her face to her neck as he sat on the other side. The light ribbon tied tightly around her long neck made him swallow slowly, imagining the way her skin would taste there. He followed it further to her low neckline, and he had to look away. His thoughts were becoming too dangerous to continue in the company of someone else.
He realized he should reply to her biting statement. “Well, I thought I would be dining alone this evening, bu
t since yer here, perhaps we should stand on ceremony. The table is certainly set for that.”
Charlotte looked it over. “Yes, why is it done up so? Surely this meal could feed a whole band of warriors, but instead, it is left to you and me to devour. I don’t think it will be possible.”
Angus said, “I have a feeling that Julia had something tae do with this? Perhaps as a parting gift, since they couldnae see us when they leave so early in the morning?”
“Perhaps…” Charlotte trailed off, but she stole a glance at Angus, who hadn’t taken his brown eyes from her.
Since the image of Charlotte in his bed had come to him in the library, he could not shake it off. He had felt a prickling of desire then, and it had grown a little stronger when he saw her again and when they had quarreled, but this was different. It was as if his body was consumed with it, and he had to fight hard to get it under control now that he had unleashed it. He could barely remember the argument they’d had in the library; his mind was so full of something else.
He cleared his throat, searching for a way to continue the conversation before grabbing a piece of food. “Have ye decided what the illness is?”
Charlotte took a drink and shook her head. “No, I’m afraid I could not focus very well in the library.” She looked down and coughed. Angus felt a flutter like she might be referring to something akin to desire, but she moved past it and continued. “I tried later, but it was to no avail. I found something similar to it, but it is not quite what I am looking for. I will try to ask about what the diet is of the people I visit tomorrow. That affects people more than we think.”
“Well, I could tell ye that. I’m afraid it’s very similar tae what we eat here, except they get much less of it.” Charlotte’s eyes scanned the table. Yes, she had noticed in her time that fruits and certain vegetables were few and far between, especially during the wintertime. She was used to having almost everything available to her at home, but now that she was living here, she was beginning to miss a few things. It only came to her now, as she stared at the food.
“Yes, it must be much less after the situation before Julia arrived.”
Angus nodded solemnly, chewing a piece of bread quietly. Then, he said, “If Julia had nae come, I dinnae know what we would have done. She saved us.” He exhaled a long sigh.
Angus realized that they had just spoken for several minutes without arguing about something. He smiled, and Charlotte looked surprised. “A smile, Angus MacLean? I confess that’s a rare sight.” She took a heavy sip of wine and refilled her glass, loving the feeling of heat that spread through her every vessel, acting as a magic spell to relax her.
He stopped smiling, but it remained in his eyes. “Aye, I try nae tae smile too much. There is nae always so much tae smile about, lass.”
“Oh, really?” She lifted an eyebrow. “I would think that finding new and fresh ways to torture your sister’s guest would give you plenty of entertainment.”
Angus chuckled then, sitting back in his chair comfortably. He stared at Charlotte while he took another drink of his wine. He realized it then. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on. She had a wild, ostentatious beauty, but then, when she added this sense of humor to the mix, it made her even more desirable. He suddenly began to ache to touch her.
He saw Charlotte stare back at him, and her lips parted slightly as he took her in. But, then, he broke eye contact and moved forward to eat again. “Ye are right. ‘Tis plenty of fun for me tae follow a wild woman around the hills and forests of this Isle endlessly tae make sure that she is all right.”
Charlotte scoffed. “Well, I would much rather be a wild woman than a dull and overly cautious man.” She crossed her arms and waited for his reply. He did not fall for the trap just yet.
He paused for a little while, her words sinking in. “Dull, am I? Well, I will have tae be dull in order tae save this clan while my brother leaves us.” His voice had taken on a tinge of anger, and he could sense Charlotte stiffening. No, he did not want to ruin this evening. It felt so good to be near her, to talk to her without fighting. So, he cleared his throat and tried again.
“Can I ask ye something?”
Charlotte continued to eat, but she nodded, her curls bouncing atop her head as she did so.
“What is it that ye like so much about being on this Isle? What is it that draws ye?”
Charlotte looked up again at Angus, watching the light bounce off his hard features. “Out of all the questions that you might have asked me, I would never have expected this one.” She swirled the wine in her glass and smiled a little. She sighed. Angus’ eyes were still on her. Even when she looked away, she could feel them watching her, as if looking inside of her and guessing what she was about to say.
Charlotte was used to having men’s eyes on her, but this was so different. His eyes were filled with something she could not quite identify. Could Julia truly be right? Was Angus attracted to her? “I suppose I love the fresh air and the countryside. And here...I can just be. Whoever I want to be. Whereas at home, I had to be something else.”
She stopped, letting the words she’d said softly float out into the air. She took another large gulp of her wine. It was filling her head and making her feel light, but she still knew that what she had said was more than she would have said to anyone. She looked at Angus hesitantly. His expression had not changed, but she could see his jaw muscle clench slightly. Was he angry at what she’d said?
He spoke, but he sounded like it was troubling him to do so. “What did ye have tae be, lass?”
Charlotte exhaled a long breath. “Perfect.” She took another drink. This evening was going a lot differently than she’d expected. She’d just revealed things to Angus that she had hardly revealed to anyone and had not totally revealed to herself. She realized then that she’d probably had too much to drink.
She heard him breathe out loudly and looked over to see him leaning his head onto his fingers, looking as if he was trying to figure her out. “I suppose it’s quite late,” she said, “and I appear to have said too much already. I need to rest before I see my patients tomorrow.” She tried to stand, but when she did so, she wobbled a little. In a flash, Angus was by her side. He grabbed onto her elbow and placed a soft hand on the small of her back. She turned to see his face close to hers, and she nearly fell into him.
“Thank you,” she said softly. “I must have had my fair share of wine. How embarrassing.” She chuckled nervously.
She tried to walk forward, but Angus’ grip on her only tightened. She could feel the heat of his hand on her back. She began to take short, tight breaths. She felt as if the room had suddenly filled with heat. Angus looked down at her. “I think what ye’d really like is tae escape my dull presence. Ye dinnae seem tae me tae be the fainting, swooning type.” He didn’t smile, but his voice was light.
Charlotte pulled back a little so that her elbow was out of his hand. But, he did not remove his hand from her back and was still just as close. She could see that he’d cut his beard so that it was neatly covering his jaw. His hair had been washed and pulled back into a low bun, and he smelled slightly of mint. For some reason, she was staring at his mouth and his perfect lips, which she had only registered at that moment. His eyes had always been her main focus, but now, his lips were drawing her in.
Attempting to change the subject, she replied, “Of that, I am not, Sir. But, this room feels very stuffy. I feel like we need to open a window or something.”
“Let me do so for ye.”
He let go and wandered over to the window to open it. A rush of cool night air flowed in, and with that, and the fact that Angus had left her side, Charlotte felt like she could breathe again. He leaned back against the wall near the window, loosened his tight cravat, and crossed his arms. “Stay, lass. Until ye are feeling better. I know what ‘tis like tae go tae bed when the world is spinning. Come and sit.” Angus had no idea what he was saying anymore. He just didn’t want her to leave. She
couldn’t leave, or else the moment would be broken.
They would go back to normal tomorrow, she arguing with him, and he trying to get her to do what he thought was best. When Charlotte saw his neckcloth hanging open, the ends hanging down his chest, she swallowed slowly. She could see his Adam’s apple and a thin layer of hair that lay at the base of his neck. The wine had gone to her head. Now, she was afraid that she’d reveal to him right then and there that she wished he would put his hands back on her again. But that thought no longer seemed so ridiculous.
She moved towards him, even though he was motioning to the chair located next to him in front of the fire. She wasn’t thinking anymore. Her mind was focused in one direction. The heat that had filled her veins was pooling between her legs, and she ached with desire for this man who was everything she thought she did not want. And still, she moved. It seemed as if time had slowed, and she saw Angus’ hands move to his side, and his lips part in a slight surprise as he watched her walking towards him.
Highlander’s Forbidden Desire: Wanting her was forbidden, having her was his ruin... Page 30