No Mate of Mine

by Lisa Oliver

  Yes little wolf, we’re mates. Yes, I am yours. Yes, you can touch. Yes I will look after you.

  Roger knew that Cam couldn’t hear him, they didn’t share the mind link, wasn’t sure they ever would have it – hell, he hadn’t even claimed the man yet. But the Omega wolf knew who he was and trusted him instantly and while Roger knew he would have to take time with Cam’s human half, for now he could show his little mate how to play. Woofing softly he led Cam through the living room, out through the kitchen into the utility room to where he had a large doggy door installed.

  Moving to one side, he held the door open with his shoulders, looking back at Cam. Cam didn’t look scared. There was only curiosity shining in those brilliant green eyes. Roger nodded and woofed again. Yes it was safe to go outside. Cam licked up Roger’s cheek and over his ears and then pushed past, tumbling out onto the grass outside. Roger barked out a laugh and followed him.

  In the clear light of day, Cam’s wolf was hesitant, but Roger had bought his house with his wolf in mind. He owned the two houses on either side of his property and kept the houses empty, unless there were other wolf shifters that needed somewhere to crash for a while. To the back of his house was a wooded area that led to a public park, but Roger had lived there long enough to know that no human could look into his large back yard. He ran towards the trees, nipping Cam lightly on the flank as he went past, encouraging the little wolf to chase him.

  The two wolves ran, chased each other, jumped and played, rolling around in the winter sun, having the type of fun only two wolves would understand. Roger’s heart lifted as he watched Cam chase a squirrel up a tree, sniff out the rodents that lived around the roots of the trees and bushes, even peeing around the edges of Roger’s property. Our property now, Roger reminded himself. His wolf didn’t have a problem with Cam staking a claim on his territory, although he would fight anyone else that tried it.

  The sun was well overhead by the time Roger figured that Cam had had enough for one day and led them inside. He’d been awake for more than thirty six hours and now that Cam was safe, Roger hoped he could actually get some solid sleep. Another feed first, a quick shower and then an afternoon nap.

  Chapter Seven

  Cam woke up and stretched cautiously, surprised to feel no pain in his back. His shift earlier in the day had really worked. Running a hand over his healed muscles, Cam could feel the ridges of some old scars, but the damage was nowhere near as bad as it had been and for a split second Cam allowed himself to dream of having his body completely whole once more. But of course, he reminded himself, that wasn’t his decision, it was that of his new Master.

  Being careful not to wake his Master, no, Roger he reminded himself, Cam eased himself off the bed, and stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. Donoghue had only allowed him to sleep in his bed on very rare occasions, early in their ‘relationship’ and expected Cam to be awake first, to have a meal ready for him, and be presented in the proper fashion by the time he woke up. Roger hadn’t said anything about those sorts of rules while they had enjoyed some grilled cheese sandwiches for lunch. In fact Roger had barely spoken to him at all, except to tell him to have a shower and then to go to bed. By the time Cam had finished in the bathroom, because hot water was another luxury that couldn’t be rushed, Roger was sprawled out half asleep.

  “On the bed little wolf,” Roger had said in that sexy as voice of his, as Cam had contemplated a spot on the floor. So Cam had climbed up, taking care not to invade Roger’s space and fallen asleep in seconds, too tired from his earlier play to be nervous. But now, warm, fed – although still hungry, and having slept better than he had in ages, Cam’s nerves had returned and without the structure of the rules his old Master had inflicted on him, Cam wasn’t sure how he was supposed to behave.

  Roger had said they were mates, yet hadn’t claimed him. He had said he was to be called by his given name, rather than Master, but Cam wasn’t sure if that wasn’t just the man’s personal preference, or what it was. Roger was clearly a Dom, it showed in his attitude, the way he walked and talked, but he hadn’t set any rules except about the name and the furniture.

  Food. Cam could get Roger some food at least. Surely that wouldn’t be the wrong thing to do? Wolf shifters liked to eat, a lot, and Cam wanted to show Roger that he wasn’t completely useless. Creeping silently out of the bedroom, Cam found his way back to the kitchen and looked in the large refrigerator. Eggs, there were plenty of eggs, along with ham and tomatoes and onions. He could make an omelet. It had been a long time since Cam had been allowed to cook anything, but he had learned how to prepare some basic meals when he was still living with his pack, and a few more skills when he had first shared Donoghue’s apartment. His ex-master had been picky about his food.

  Humming quietly to himself, Cam quickly found the utensils he needed in the well-stocked kitchen. He broke and beat the eggs in a stainless steel bowl he had found, while two pans heated on the stove. Tipping the eggs and seasoning into one, Cam got to work cutting and chopping the ham, tomatoes and onions. Pepper. The omelet needed some black pepper Cam thought, and he turned, hunting through the cupboards until he found some. Damn, Roger was so much taller than he was. Cam was just stretching up on the tip of his toes, when he heard a stern voice behind him.

  “What do you think you are doing?”

  Cam let out a shriek and fell automatically into Donoghue’s favored position, trembling with fright. Shit. Maybe he wasn’t allowed in the kitchen at all. He shouldn’t have guessed. Shouldn’t have presumed. Cam pressed his face to the kitchen floor and preyed any punishment that was coming would be quick.

  /~/~/~/~/

  Roger suppressed his sigh of frustration, and moved quickly, turning off the stove and then getting back down on the floor, scooping Cam up into his arms. He hated that he had frightened his mate yet again. He was going to have to be a lot more careful with his tone of voice until Cam had gotten more comfortable around him. He hated that every time Cam reacted in fear, Roger was reminded of the hell the poor boy had gone through. Taking deep breaths he concentrated on holding Cam firmly in his arms, stroking his hair, soothing the man with his scent, as was the way of a wolf shifter.

  “I haven’t got a problem with you making yourself some food, little one. I was just surprised you weren’t in bed with me when I woke up,” he said, when Cam’s back had stopped quivering and the boy seemed calm again.

  Cam’s head shook against his chest. “No Mas….Roger, I wouldn’t do that. I know the rules. I was cooking for you. I know I am only allowed the food you offer me. I didn’t touch a thing. Please believe me. I was making you an omelet. I wouldn’t eat without permission. I would never do that.”

  Fuck, what kind of an asshole was this Donoghue? No wonder Cam was so skinny, Roger thought, realizing there were going to be a lot of times in the upcoming weeks when he was going to have to take the time to deprogram his new mate. Feeding a sub by hand was one thing – it could be a beautiful and intimate experience. Refusing to allow the boy to eat anything unless it was offered directly to him was just irresponsible. One step at a time, he reminded himself.

  Setting Cam back on his feet, Roger said, “Thank you for thinking to make me an omelet. It was a good idea, and I am sure you’re famished too. Why don’t you finish preparing it, and make one for yourself, and we’ll sit at the table. I need to understand a bit more about the rules your ex-Master gave to you.”

  And he really didn’t want to spend any more time on the floor, he thought grimly as he stood up himself and moved out of the kitchen, sitting at the dining room table. He could sense that Cam was still nervous and didn’t want the boy to burn himself if his nerves got too much for him. Cooking hot food while naked was dangerous enough in itself.

  In a very short space of time, Cam had plated up one large and one smaller omelet, some juice from the fridge and some buttered bread. He set it out on the table and then stood hesitantly, his hands clasped behind his back. Given th
at the boy was still naked, Roger couldn’t help but appreciate the sight, especially as Cam’s submissive stance was perfect. But eating and talking had to take precedence. He ignored his cock’s opinion on the matter.

  “Sit here beside me,” he said, patting the chair next to him. Although he would have preferred to see Cam’s face as they talked, he wanted the boy close to him. He had a feeling that he was going to be offering a lot of comfort in the next hour or so. Besides, his wolf reacted badly to Cam’s fear, and tended to want to be close even if his wolf side didn’t understand the reasoning behind Cam’s feelings.

  For a while though, all was quiet. Roger enjoyed his fluffy omelet – Cam was a good cook and that could prove useful, especially if Roger wasn’t going to be at the club as often as he was used to. Roger usually took all of his meals with his pack members, because it was easier and he wasn’t keen on cooking. He could turn out stews, steaks and the basics if he needed to, but he usually couldn’t be bothered cooking just for himself. Cam had cleared his plate fairly quickly and Roger figured that one small omelet wasn’t going to be nearly enough to sate his boy’s hunger. But he said nothing, just pushed the plate of buttered bread in Cam’s direction and indicated he should eat. Steak would be better, or any kind of meat, but the bread would do for now.

  When Roger was finished, Cam stood up, quickly cleared the table and took the plates and utensils back into the kitchen. “Leave the dishes in the sink. They can wait,” Roger said firmly. “I want you to come with me into the living room so we can talk.” Cam cast a worried look at the dirty dishes on the bench, but nodded and stacked them into the sink.

  By the time he had come back into the dining room, Roger had already stood up and he led them both to his comfy couch. Cam made to go on his knees beside the seat, but Roger pulled him up and tucked him under his arm beside him. Hmmm, Cam was just the right height to sit under his arm comfortably, and Roger felt a warm glow inside. Perfect for a movie night, a rainy afternoon, or just because they could.

  “Okay little one,” Roger said, thinking about his words carefully. “Now you are my mate, so you don’t have to serve me all the time. I want to claim you, tonight if you are okay with that, but I think it would be a good idea if we talked about these rules you feel you have to follow first. Help me to understand what you’ve been living with. Is that all right with you?”

  Cam nodded. Roger would have preferred it if the boy had spoken instead, but he knew that Cam had spent at least four years being trained by just one man. Given that the bastard Donoghue had gotten Cam at such an impressionable age, Cam would be used to a life completely bound by rules. Roger had some rules of his own he wanted to implement, speaking when being asked something being just one of them, but he didn’t want to overwhelm Cam from day one.

  “We’ve already spoken about the furniture and calling me by my name. You told me that you have not been allowed to get your own food when you are hungry, so that is another rule that will be changed. You can eat any of the food in the kitchen whenever you like. If we run low on something, or there are foods you want to eat that I haven’t got, then I will show you how to order what we need online. Now what other rules do you have?”

  Cam’s voice was low, but he did start talking. “I’m not allowed to wear clothes at any time, except on special occasions. I can only be collared on the club floor, but I must remember that I don’t deserve a permanent collar because I am unworthy, and must give it up when the scene is done. If I am on the club floor I must be plugged and ready to accept any man my Master wants me to service. I must never leave my room unless my Master accompanies me. I must make a noise when I am being punished, so as to please my Master, but must not make any noise afterwards as that will annoy him. I must remember that my only purpose in life is to serve my Master, and that means I must never speak unless asked a specific question, and only if…”

  “Enough,” Roger said, pulling Cam onto his lap and holding the man tight in his arms. Cam was fine – it was Roger who was shaking. In just a few short sentences, Cam had sketched out what could have only been a life of horror, where his self-worth and value had never been considered at all, let alone his opinion. Roger was amazed at how calmly Cam could recite his list – rules that bound his life, without getting upset. Had the boy never been allowed an opinion, or a voice at all?

  What about discussions on limits, safewords, all of the things that a Master asked about and respected so that a sub was safe? The issue with the collar? How cruel was that, to insist the boy be under his control, but not show him the worth behind a collaring ceremony? Roger doubted that Cam even knew what a safeword was, although he clearly knew about collars. He’d just been told too many times that he wasn’t worthy of one. Cam was simply explaining a reality that would have broken even the strongest of subs, quietly and calmly and with little emotion at all.

  In contrast Roger was a complete and utter mess. This was all his fault! All he could think, time and time again, was that if he had thought to check up on his mate sooner – had found out any earlier the type of hell his mate was living in, then who knows how things might have been different for his poor mate. Instead Roger had enjoyed his life in his pack, doing his work, and taking his pleasure whenever he wanted it…while his mate…. His stomach churned as though he was going to throw up, his wolf was snarling loudly in his head - Roger wanted to kill somebody and trembled with the effort not to shift.

  No, not somebody. Donoghue. He wanted to tear that man limb from limb, he wanted to see him shackled and starving, in pain and begging for freedom. He wanted to torture Donoghue until there was nothing left but a shell of the man he might have been and then he wanted gag him and torture him some more. Then he wanted to kill him. And if he could, he would bring the corpse back to life and kill him again, and again and again.

  But Donoghue couldn’t be touched. He was a human, living in a human club with human laws that strictly prevented the exact form of vengeance Roger wanted to inflict on him. And because Roger couldn’t do the things him and his wolf both wanted so badly, he settled on the next best thing – taking comfort from the fact his mate was in his arms. Roger wasn’t letting him go. Not for Donoghue, not for his pack, not for any fucking thing.

  Slim arms around his neck and soft hands in his hair, pierced through his inner anger and turmoil. His mate was soothing him. Roger tilted up Cam’s head and gazed into green pools he would happily drown in. Cam was still nervous, but he was clearly worried about Roger and was following his wolf instincts in trying to help. Even though it was clear he expected to be punished for his touch or something else equally obscure.

  “Did I say something wrong?” Cam said quietly. “You did ask me, so I had to answer. There are more, a lot more. Are they not right, those rules? Please, explain - I don’t understand why you’re upset. I just know that you are and my wolf doesn’t like it. It’s really confusing and I don’t know what to do to make it right.”

  Letting out a long breath, Roger shook his head and gave Cam a small smile. “You haven’t said anything wrong, but yes, those rules are all kinds of fucked up wrong. No submissive should live that way, and they are definitely not rules for mates. For us. I’m upset because I am a wolf shifter, and I hate that you have been treated so badly. It wasn’t right, and I feel as guilty as hell that I didn’t get you out of there sooner. I should have protected you. I would give anything to be able to change your past. But I don’t have that power. But maybe from now on, we should make some of our own rules together, aye? Or maybe you could make some for me even?”

  Or hell, in Roger’s opinion maybe they didn’t need any rules at all. Sure a sub liked to know where he stood, and rules made it easier for any submissive to understand what he should and should not do – it was like a form of security for them, but did Roger really want to have that sort of relationship with Cam? Wouldn’t he rather have a mate than a sub? His wolf definitely thought the mating side of things was the way to go.

  Ca
m’s eyes opened wide, his dark eyebrows formed two perfect dark arches and his mouth opened into the most tempting “O” Roger had ever seen.

  “You would listen to me? I could have a say in what we do? Really?”

  If the words weren’t so sad, Cam’s shocked tone would have been funny, and Cam’s expression was adorable. There was no other word for it. But the man’s previous explanations about being unworthy had struck a huge chord in Roger’s heart, and he knew the first step in getting Cam to understand how important he was, was to claim him. Mates were special. Every wolf knew that.

  “I will listen to anything you want to say, anytime,” Roger promised. “Don’t ever think you can’t tell me, or ask me anything at all. But sweet boy, you are my mate, and I can think of better things for our mouths to be doing, than talking right now. Can we talk more later?”

  Cam still looked wide eyed, and a bit worried, but he nodded his head and that was all of the approval Roger was prepared to wait for. All he had felt since meeting Cam was worry, concern and guilt. Understandable feelings, but there was so much more to being mates, than ensuring his boy was fed and well. Both men needed a bit of loving and joy before they could go much further.

  Closing the small distance between them, Roger brushed his lips over Cam’s partially open mouth, and then he did it again, simply because his mate had perfectly kissable lips and Roger had denied himself for more than long enough. The time for patience was over and Roger was giving himself over to his wolf’s need to claim their mate. Cam seemed a little unsure as to what to do with his lips, so Roger moved his hands up to Cam’s luxurious soft black hair, tilted his head gently to one side, and dove in for another taste.

  Under the faint residue of eggs and bread Roger caught the essence of Cam – coconut and something sweet. Roger took another taste, trying to work out what it was. Mangos. His mate tasted like mangos. Sweet, well-ripened mangos and just like the fruit itself, Cam’s unique taste coated Roger’s tongue and flooded his senses. Right in that moment Roger knew kissing his sweet, delectable little mate was going to become one of his favorite pastimes, and he went back and did it again.