by Max Hudson
On another slip of paper was passed to him, this one with an email address. Bowie made sure to put that one into his wallet. “Thank you, officer. You have a good day.”
“I’ll be sure to. Let me know what you can do about getting her those tickets.”
“Sure, how many do you think would be good for her?”
“Just a couple would be fine.”
Bowie nodded. “I’ll do what I can. I know we’re going to get some free tickets for it to give away and stuff, so I may be able to use those.”
The officer nodded and sauntered back to his car. Within moments the entire encounter was over and Bowie was left alone in his car. He took a couple of moments before he got out of the vehicle and locked it up behind him. And a few more minutes enjoying the fresh air before he headed up to Justice’s apartment.
The second he knocked on the door Justice opened it up. “I saw the cop down there, are you all right?”
“Just a warning for speeding. He asked for tickets to our show though.”
“He a fan?” Justice was excited by the prospect of finding fans out in the rest of the world. It made it feel that much more real.
“His daughter is. I have his email. When we find out about our tickets, I said I’d try to get his daughter a couple.”
“If it saved you some money, that’s worth it, I think.” Justice laughed. “Speeding tickets are expensive.”
“You would know.” Bowie nudged the man as he walked into the apartment.
“Well, yeah. I’m the speed demon.” Justice grinned.
“Where’s Henry?”
“He’s at work.” Justice shrugged. “He’s trying not to use any of his time off before the big gig in case he has to help with set up and stuff.”
“He’s a great guy.” Bowie grinned. “You got yourself a keeper. When are you gonna make an honest man out of him?” The truth was that the singer was still feeling uncomfortable in his skin but joking about literally anything else made it easier to hide the frustration that he was feeling. He couldn’t believe that Hero had just taken off like that, leaving him to suffer alone. And flashes of the fight didn’t stop cascading over his brain just because he was adept at hiding the pain from his friends.
“I don’t know. I was thinking after the debut of this song.”
“Really?” Bowie stopped and turned to his friend. “Really?”
“You’re repeating yourself.”
“I know, but really?”
“Really.” Justice looked like he was about to bounce out of his skin. “I’m going to propose at one of the shows. That’s what this song is gonna be about.”
“That’s amazing.” Another pang of regret for how his life had turned out, but Bowie refused to let it taint his best friend’s day. There was no way that he was going to talk about it now. He was going to celebrate his friend’s happiness even if he didn’t feel so good about celebrating at the moment. That was just what friends did.
“I know. He doesn’t know yet, so you can’t say a word.”
“Not a word. Need help planning it?”
“I was thinking we could talk about it when we discuss it at the meeting. With all of us. I want to work it into the show.”
“That should get the crowd going. People love stuff like that.”
“I know. And since this is all gonna be streamed and recorded by professionals it may end up good for us.”
“It’s a little selfish to think about the potential for going viral.” Bowie shook his head. “But I can’t help it.”
“I’d do it if it had the potential or not. And I’m not gonna regret it if it doesn’t.” Justice was still grinning.
“Did you get a ring?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s see it.”
Justice walked to the back of the apartment, leaving Bowie alone with his thoughts.
Bowie felt bad. He wanted to be happier for the drummer. He should have been happier for his friend. But he just couldn’t keep Hero out of his head. If it hadn’t been for the foolishness of youth, he could be where Justice was. It just wasn’t in the cards for him, he supposed.
He sighed and sat back down, reminding himself to slap that smile back on his face before Justice walked back into the living room.
But he didn’t hear the man coming. Justice caught him. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Is this the single lament again?” Justice flopped down on the couch next to Bowie.
“I guess, yeah, just a little.”
Justice patted Bowie’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, it’ll happen to you.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” Bowie shook his head. “I just can’t seem to find the right guy. It’s tough, you know?”
“I know.” Justice nodded. “I know, but it’ll get better.”
“How?”
Justice paused. “I don’t know. I really don’t, but I have faith that it will.”
“You have no idea how bad it is.” Bowie almost spilled the beans, but he knew better.
Justice tilted his head as he watched the singer. “What do you mean?”
Bowie frowned. He had to change the subject. “It doesn’t matter. We need to celebrate you getting married. It’s so important.”
“You sure?”
“I’m sure.” Bowie nodded.
Justice grinned. “Maybe we can just work on the song together and not talk about any of the tough stuff.”
“You sure?”
“I’m positive.” Justice nodded. “We can worry about setting up the whole thing later. I’m sure he’ll be there unless they need him at work.”
“Have they been having him work a bunch of extra hours?”
“He’s a manager at a retail store. His hours can go a little wild sometimes, you know that.” Justice shrugged. “But it’s nice that he can usually get the time off to see us perform.”
Bowie grinned. “I know, he’s like our biggest fan.”
“Yeah, and I’m glad I ended up with him.” Justice laughed. “He’s got such high hopes for us. He gets so upset that we aren’t famous yet.”
Bowie nudged Justice. “We do pretty well, though. It’s hard to imagine the fact that we make most of our livings off of the love of music. That means something.”
“I know it does.” Justice nodded as he got comfortable next to the table that pulled double duty as a dining table and workspace. “But I hope that this helps us make it big.”
“It’s gonna help us at least. Maybe not enough to put us on superstar level.” Justice shrugged. “But we can probably pick up a few new fans from it. And get some really good coverage too.” The drummer was happy. Bowie knew that it was the right thing to feel about that, but he couldn’t keep Hero out of his head. He couldn’t stop thinking about what had happened between them and it hurt to think about. He nodded along anyway, letting Justice go on until they could work on the song that Justice was planning for the moment that he popped the question to his long-term boyfriend.
Chapter Twelve
Hero frowned as he left the meeting. It had gone surprisingly well. And they were planning a marriage proposal too, but it was for Justice to pop the question.
He wasn’t sure how he felt about that. On one side, he had never had a problem with Justice. He had liked him back then and it was clear that the man was still as nice as he was when they were all in school together. It made him happy that the man had found happiness, but he felt the other side of it too. He felt the fact that he was painfully alone and that there weren’t any prospects there for him, not really. It hurt to see everyone moving toward settling down and he wasn’t there yet.
He had watched Bowie there. The man seemed like everything was just fine, but he had been quiet. Maybe the man regretted what he had said. He didn’t know what the truth was. And he had already decided that he wasn’t going to try to find out.
At least until he got out to his car. “Damn it.”
“What?” Bowie’s
voice sounded behind him. “Is something wrong?”
“I have a flat.”
“Damn, you got a spare? I can help you change it.”
Hero narrowed his eyes. “I don’t have a spare.” He didn’t know what Bowie was getting at, but he wasn’t ok with it. He didn’t want to have to rely on Bowie. There would be nothing but trouble for him if he did that. “I need to get one.”
“Damn.” Bowie frowned. “Uh, do you need a ride somewhere or something?”
“I can get an Uber.”
“All right. Well, anything else I can do to help?” Bowie made the offer.
Hero shook his head. He didn’t want help from Bowie. The conversation from that morning was still raw and bleeding and he didn’t know if he was ready to face the man quite yet. He wanted to just get home and not have to face anything for a good long while. He was under assignment to start working on some sort of plan with the dancers that he was supposed to recruit for the project. He needed three other dancers. That was it. And he was sure that he could find them. “I don’t need anything. Thanks.” Hero frowned slightly.
“Oh, ok.” Bowie deflated and walked over to his car.”
Hero had a rush of doubt flow through him. Maybe he had misread the situation. “You know what?”
“What?” Bowie looked back over at the dancer. “Something wrong?”
“Could you go get me a drink? I’m going to call roadside assistance. And it’s probably going to be a wait.”
“Will they be able to get it back to your place?”
Hero frowned. “Right. There’s a distance for that, isn’t there?”
“Yeah, and we can’t go get the tire fixed until tomorrow. It’s too late to do it now.”
“So it would have to wait till morning.”
“How about I give you a ride, we can let Pokey know that the car is gonna be here overnight. Then I can come and pick you up tomorrow and we can deal with the tire.”
“Do you have time to do that?”
“I can skip working lunch rush and help you out if it runs that late.” Bowie made the offer gently like he was worried about offending the man.
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Bowie nodded. “But let’s get the tire off to start tonight. Get it up on a jack so that we can take one less leg of the trip in the morning.”
“Maybe we can just replace the tire tonight. There are still places open for that.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yeah, it’ll save both of us a lot of time and energy.” Hero nodded. “Can we leave it on a jack overnight?”
Bowie pointed over his shoulder with his thumb toward the trunk of his car. “I’ve got a jack stand in my trunk.”
“Really?”
The singer laughed softly. “Yeah, my dad was a mechanic, of course, I keep one.”
“Right. I forgot about that.”
“It’s okay, it’s been a while since it’s come in handy.”
Hero laughed at himself. “Damn. I bet you also have a spare.”
Bowie laughed with the dancer. It was a laugh that could have stopped his heart. “Yeah, of course, I do. Wait a second.”
Hero watched as Bowie checked a few things in his car and then went back to check his spare tire. It was funny how even after all of that the conversation was still coming easily. Even after the conversation that had happened earlier that morning, Bowie was still so easy to talk to. He could have cursed himself over that. It wasn’t exactly ideal.
They quickly got the tire off of the car and it set on the jack stands overnight. Pokey didn’t have a problem with it sitting in his driveway overnight. Hero wasn’t blocking in his car, so it would be fine there.
That made things a lot easier, and probably cheaper on him in the long run. Sometimes roadside assistance caused other issues.
They rode in silence to the closest tire store to see if they could fix or replace the tire that night but were told that they could take it that night and do the repair first thing in the morning. That would have to do for now. He sighed.
“Do you want to stop anywhere before I get you home?” Bowie offered.
“I don’t think so. I think I’m just ready to get home.”
Bowie nodded. “Yeah, no problem. I’ll get you home and then come and pick you up in the morning.”
Hero wondered why Bowie didn’t offer him to stay at his place again and frowned. It must have been because of the fight. “Maybe there’s a cheap motel I can get closer?”
“I don’t know, not really. I mean, if you want to stay in the area you can stay at my place tonight.”
“Are you sure?” Hero turned to him, carefully examining the singer’s face to see if the offer was made purely out of some sort of obligation.
“Yeah, I mean, it’s the least that I can do. It’s my fault you’re even out here right now.” Bowie nodded. “And I wouldn’t mind it at all. I just didn’t want to make you nervous.”
“Me?”
“Yeah. I mean, after this morning and stuff.”
“Ah, because you don’t want it to be serious?”
“Me?” Bowie pulled over. It was kind of rushed so it caused Hero to nearly smack his head on the door frame of the car.
“Whoa!”
“Sorry.” Bowie winced. “I didn’t mean to do that, but you were the one talking like you didn’t want it to be serious.”
“You’re the one who said that it was a one-time deal.”
Bowie scoffed. “That’s because I thought that’s what you were saying. I didn’t want to push or pressure you.” He frowned.
Hero stopped and took a second to glance out the window. He didn’t know what to say. It had all been a big misunderstanding. He couldn’t believe it. And he had let it happen. “Maybe we should sit down to talk.”
“Sure.”
“Hit a drive-thru on the way, this is probably gonna be a long talk.” Hero’s voice was subdued.
“Sure.” Bowie did as he was instructed to do then took them straight to his apartment. They traveled in relative silence, waiting to speak until they were safely inside the apartment.
Once the dollar menu tacos were put on the coffee table Hero sighed. “We probably could have saved ourselves a lot of time and energy if we had just stopped to talk this morning.”
“Yeah, probably.” Bowie nodded. “I just thought you weren’t happy with what happened. You were embarrassed or something.”
“Why did you want me not to tell your band?”
Bowie frowned. “Because they made me promise not to get involved with you. They know I have a habit of falling too hard and getting my heart broken.”
“So what did that mean?”
“They specifically warned me not to spend time alone with you. They were afraid I would just end up hurt.”
“And you thought that I was just making that happen, right?” Hero wasn’t happy to be the one to say that, but it felt like it was necessary. Bowie had a right to be afraid of what would happen if they ended up together. And he had that right too. They had both lived this love story before and it had ended. Love stories weren’t supposed to end. But they had one that had ended.
Hero couldn’t help but wonder if maybe it hadn’t ended. Maybe it had just needed a break, only to bring them back together when they were older and had learned more about life. Maybe that gave them the experience to be able to truly appreciate being together? There was no real way to know without moving fully into the experience and letting this man love him.
Bowie was staring at him as he was thinking about what was going to happen from here. The singer didn’t say anything at all. There wasn’t much to say about any of it. They had already said just about all that there was to say.
Hero wondered if he still loved Bowie. Back then it had felt like it was a love to match no other. It was so strong and deep that it was past the point of control. But they had been kids back then. It was a different point in their lives. Bowie was on the cusp of
success and he was on the cusp of retirement and having to take a steadier job.
Was it only because he felt like his life was on the edge of ending that he was thinking that this was possible? Was it just because he was afraid?
Bowie was still watching him, but the man still didn’t say a word. Maybe the same thing was going through his head. Maybe he felt the same level of confusion that the dancer did.
Hero opened his mouth to speak then closed it again.
Bowie frowned slightly. “Is there something wrong?”
“I don’t know.” Hero shook his head and moved to go sit down on the couch. At some point, he had gotten up and started pacing, but he didn’t remember it.
“What do you mean? What’s on your mind? Maybe we can figure it out?”
“I don’t know what this all means. I mean, why did we find each other again?”
“I don’t know, but I’m not sure if this is just something that I’m feeling because of my fears of the future or not. I mean, we do have a history. It didn’t work that time, what makes us think it’s going to work this time?”
Bowie sighed. “We don’t know that.” He shook his head. “We can’t know. Not unless we decide on what we’re going to do.”
“What do you want to do?”
“Me?”
“Yeah, you.” The man nodded.
Bowie sighed. “I’m a hopeless romantic. I’d try if I were given half a chance.”
Hero nodded. It was nice to know that hadn’t changed in the time that they had been apart. “What happens if we try? Does that mess up the show?”
“I don’t think so.”
“You don’t think so?” Hero tilted his head as he asked the question. He needed some sort of explanation.
Bowie shook his head. “Even if it doesn’t work, I won’t kick you out of the job. I wasn’t going to after the fight this morning.”
“That’s kind of you. You could have fired me and I wouldn’t have blamed you. I might have considered firing you.”
“It’s fine. I considered it, but I knew that you would do the right thing if positions were reversed. Your job isn’t contingent on us trying to make it work. All I want is to figure out what we do the other way.” Bowie explained this slowly. He was taking his time, picking out his words carefully. “I don’t know what we want from this. Or even if we both want the same thing from it.”