‘I realized that I would be hurting others around me and I can’t do it to them’
‘Ah, I see’ he wrote more notes.
‘What’s your end goal Peyton, where do you want to get to?’
I considered his question. ‘I want to be normal, have a normal relationship and put everything behind me’
‘Good’ he clapped his hands ‘that’s our focus then. We will figure out what barriers are in your way and remove them’
‘You make it sound so simple’
‘It will be work Peyton, I won’t deny that. You have a right to a normal life and let’s make that happen for you shall we?’ he waited for acknowledgment, I gave him a nod.
‘Your friends, are they helping you to adjust?’
‘Ben is a distraction and up until the other day I hadn’t told him anything of my negative experiences. Rafe is someone that I confide a lot more with’
‘What made you confide in Ben?’
‘It was an accident, he overheard me yelling at Rafe. I wish I could undo that part’ I hung my head.
‘Ah, I see. Peyton, it is good that he knows. The more support you have, the better. He is your friend and will only want the best for you, yes?’ I nodded my agreement.
‘Tell me, are you in a relationship?’
‘Why does that matter?’ I glared.
‘I’m curious what your support network is, you’re living with your friend and you have Rafe. Have you developed any relationships?’
‘Possibly’ I didn’t want to get into that right now.
‘This possible relationship, are they supporting you?’
‘I tell him everything’ I said simply.
‘Good. I’m glad to hear that you’re not bottling it all up’.
‘Are you not going to ask me to talk about… my negative experiences?’ I was confused, I thought therapy was about talking it all out.
‘I am here to talk about anything that you want to. We can talk until you have nothing else to say on the matter, but it sounds like you already have someone to talk to. I would like to focus on tools to help you knock those barriers down’.
We spoke for an hour and at the end of the session, I felt much better. Jamison gave me some coping mechanisms to deal with my anger and suggested going to the gym. He said I could beat the shit out of a boxing bag, I liked that idea. He also, gave me pause for thought, I was to go away and picture myself in a years’ time and where I would be and what I would be doing. Then during the next session, we can talk about it and set out a plan for achieving that goal. The plan was changeable, so if my goals change, we can amend the plan or if I’m not progressing well then change tactic.
On my walk home, I stopped off at a deli for a walking lunch. The woman in front of me was talking to the cashier about her problems finding a suitable place to rent, she sounded genuinely upset about it. I wanted to scream at her, that isn’t a fucking problem. Jamison’s words came into my mind that everyone is entitled to their own problems and eventually I will be moaning about the same mundane shit. To give him the benefit of the doubt I counted to ten and tried to let my irritation wash out of me. It mostly worked, but still bugged me though.
My feet were hurting by the time I was walking up the stairs to Rafes apartment. I missed my trainers; they were burned along with the rest of my clothes. I had worn them in beautifully, they practically cuddled my feet.
I pulled out the spare keys that I took with me and opened the door. The stressed faces of Ben, Daniels and Rafe gaped back at me.
‘Oh, thank god Peyton! You’re okay!’ Ben pulled me into a tight hug, so tight that it was restricting air access.
Rafe was standing behind Ben, staring at me. His expression was unreadable, I’ve missed something.
‘Has something happened?’ I asked the room in general.
‘I came home and you weren’t here, you’ve been gone for hours’ his voice was low, laced with concern and anger.
‘I’m leaving you to it guys’ Daniels went to leave and squeezed my shoulder as he walked past. I gave him a small smile.
He paused at the door and glared at Ben.
‘Ah! What’s that, your taking me to lunch Danny boy? Of course, I would love to come!’ Ben skipped over to Daniels who’s glare had kicked up a notch. They both disappeared out the door.
Just me and Rafe then.
‘Where have you been? You didn’t leave a note?’ he sounded exasperated.
‘I walked to Jamison’s office, spent an hour there and then walked back’ I said calmly.
Rafes eyebrows practically shot to the ceiling.
‘You… you went to therapy?’ exasperation morphed into sheer surprise.
‘Yeah, I couldn’t sit still here any longer. Cleaning didn’t take long. I thought I would go and see if it helped. It did’ that surprised me too.
‘I’m… pleased’ he burst into a smile ‘I was worried that you… that something might have happened’ he grimaced.
I walked over to him and hugged him hard ‘I’ve leapt back from that ledge okay? I can’t hurt the ones I love. I won’t do that to you, I promise. Besides, I now must think about where I would like to be in a years’ time and work towards that with Jamison. He said it would take me a year and I will endeavor to beat that deadline’ I smirked.
‘Ones you love?’ he whispered into my ear.
‘I love Ben as a friend as well as Daniels’ I leaned back to look into his eyes ‘but I love you with every part of me’.
He stared at me for a long moment, I started to worry.
He moved suddenly and spun me around, then dipping me low to kiss me. He pulled me up, righting my world and I jumped into his arms.
‘I love you too my ball of fire’.
We savored the moment and savored each other, that took us until evening to finish.
‘What were you doing home so early? You have an apocalypse to stop.’ I asked.
‘Right now, I’m just waiting on information to be gathered, the team is working on it. Charlie sent me home to make sure his star member of staff would consider coming back to work?’ he looked grumpy at that statement.
‘Which is causing grumpy face, the star member of staff or me returning to work?’ I teased.
‘Both’ he looked petulant, it was endearing ‘you have a way about you, people can’t help but like you. Its annoying’ he laughed. ‘Seven, seven bloody agents have asked me if you’re available. Can I tell them that you’re my girlfriend yet?’ he looked at me, waiting for my answer.
‘Are you sure you want me? I am a handful as previously proven’ my turn to be patient.
‘How could I not? I am a freezing man and you are the fire that keeps me going’ he smiled tenderly and tucked a hair behind my ear.
‘Then yes, of course I will’ I smiled the biggest smile of the year so far. I love this man so much.
An hour later…
‘Come on wildfire, I’m ravenous and you’ve kept me locked in this bedroom for hours. Shame on you!’ he slapped my ass and I yelped in surprise.
‘I can’t believe you just did that!’ my mouth fell open in amused surprise.
He laughed all the way to the kitchen. Unbelievable. Over dinner he was trying to guess my goal for a years’ time. I wasn’t giving it up easy.
‘Come on, sharing is caring Wildfire. How am I supposed to help you if you don’t tell me?’
‘The curiosity is killing you isn’t it?’ I pointed my fork at him and laughed.
‘Just a touch, but seriously I do want to know’, he gave me a puppy dog look.
‘That tactic is below you. Child’ I feigned shock. ‘You really want to know?’
‘Yes!’
‘Okay I’ll tell you’ I acquiesced.
Rafe cheered and dramatically threw his hands in the air.
‘I want to have a job that I love, be able to go a week without having the desire to resort to deadly violence and I want to only cry tears of joy instead of sadness’. It
felt good to say.
His wore a face of joy ‘Wildfire, it will be my pleasure to do everything in my power to get you there’.
‘Stop calling me that!’ I hissed.
Deep inside I kind of liked it.
‘No’ he laughed ‘it suits you’.
I threw a lettuce leaf at him.
‘Now who’s being a child’ he sniggered.
‘Change of subject, what does Charlie want me to do? Back to the conference room?’ my heart sunk at the idea.
‘Actually no. I think you’ll like what he has in mind’ Rafes secret smile raised my curiosity by about a hundred levels.
I waited and waited for him to elaborate. Nothing.
‘Are you not going to tell me?’
‘Nope. Unlike you, I can hold out much longer’.
The bastard grinned at me, I was about to bitch and moan but decided that it might annoy him if I ignore the subject all together. He’ll break soon enough.
Chapter Thirteen
I sat in the passenger side with my arms crossed and glaring out the window.
‘I can’t believe you still won’t tell me!’ I was so pissed.
He knew what I was up to when I didn’t ask any further, the evil bastard just enjoyed himself even more.
His response? He burst out laughing. What a dick. My lips twitched, against my wishes’.
‘Twenty percent smile!’ he practically sang.
I couldn’t help it, my twitch morphed into an uncontrollable grin.
‘You’re infuriating’ I laughed.
He threw his arm over my shoulder on the walk from the car to the bureau.
‘Is this your attempt at claiming me in front of the seven?’, he answering smirk was unmistakable.
That’s a yes then.
Inside, he steered me away from my usual route. I soon realized that we were heading towards the gym. I looked up at him in confusion and he answered with a grin.
‘This won’t help with your vow to stop violence’ I’m intrigued.
‘I never said I would stop, I just said that it wouldn’t be deadly’ I threatened without menace.
‘Peyton! Come here dear girl’ Charlie shouted from the other side of the gym, ‘I hope that you are feeling much better. You are looking well I must say’ he winked, Charlie actually winked at Rafe. I didn’t know whether to laugh or blush.
‘I have a new role for you, time for you to get away from that incessant debating upstairs. This is much better suited to you I am sure. If the rumors are anything to go by then you’ll beat them into shape’.
My interest is piqued.
‘You have a unique set of skills and a proven tract record of not being bitten. The word is out in the teams and they are aware what they are training for’, he pointed around the room ‘I want you to assist Evan with training. They need to know how to survive’, he gave me a gentle push towards the center of the room, ‘now, go!’ he clapped his hands with delight and pulled Rafe out the room with him.
Around me my trainees stopped and stared at me. I realized that they were waiting for me to speak. Thanks Charlie, throw me on the spot why don’t you. I opted for honestly, it has been working well for me lately. They had all gathered around me, so at least I didn’t need to yell.
‘Do you all know who I am?’
They nodded.
‘I’m not just talking about my name; do you know where I have been for the last four years?’
They nodded, okay so Charlie has given them my background then. That makes things easier.
‘Okay’ I blew out a relieved breath, ‘I’m not a massive people person and I have a bit of a temper. What I lack in social skills, I make up with fighting. So, all I ask is that you bear with me’.
Another nod, chatty bunch I see.
‘Let’s get this out the way, any questions?’
Blondie was the first to pipe up ‘what was it like?’
‘Shit. Next?’ I got a chuckle or two from that.
‘How many of the dead did you take down?’
‘More than I can count, probably thousands’ looks of appreciation, I’m stronger than I look guys.
‘Who trained you?’ the angry voice of Evan was next.
‘You wouldn’t believe me if I told you’ I smiled at him.
‘Try me’, still angry.
‘You’ everyone gasped. He was confused so I decided to spell it out for the poor dear.
‘I was in a world identical to yours, same people, same everything. That included you. We met about a year before I left and you were a complete pain in my ass. You decided to train me, you didn’t ask, you just started to do it. You were bloody relentless’ I grinned at him and got a smirk in response.
I looked around the room and addressed them all ‘if you think he works you all hard, then you are totally wrong. I got the no holds barred version. He is the best fighter I ever met, until he trained me’ I winked at him.
‘Anymore questions?’ I raised my eyebrow at them.
They all were thinking hard on their questions, bored of waiting now ‘cool, introductions over. Let’s get to it. The only way to take them down, is to shoot, or stab them in the head. Remember, if you don’t have a knife to hand, anything sharp will do, I find a poker to be most useful or a rock’ a got a couple of surprised laughs.
‘Do you want to see how it’s done?’ nodding, good.
I moved to the center mat and picked up a foam baton. I tore it in half, so it was vaguely the length of a knife. I pointed to a group on my right and to a group on my left, ‘I want to all to come at me and when I get you in the head with the baton you’re dead’.
Three of them ran at me, I vaulted over the first and hit him in the baton in the head from behind. In a fluid movement I swung out and hit the one closest to my right. The last, I used his forward momentum to throw him over my shoulder and hit him with the baton as he hit the ground.
Four more were running at me, the first I grabbed by the throat and hit with the baton. The next I kicked back to buy me more time, I ducked low as the next came up on me, she flew over me at I hit her with the baton as she fell.
Down to the last two. One was just in front of the other, so I hit him first and then held him up by his collar. Instead of letting him fall I shoved him backwards into the other and then hit her too.
Done.
Everyone started to clap, I shut that down straight away.
I pulled one out of the group, ‘did you notice how I always hit the baton here’ I held it to his temple, ‘here’ I held it over his eye ‘or here’, I pretended to push up under his jaw.
‘They are the easiest places to stab; you can retrieve the knife easier. If you go for the hardest part of the skull, it takes more energy to pull the knife out. Work smart not hard guys. The dead don’t tire out, but you do. Split off and have a go’.
The group dispersed; this was fun.
Evan came up next to me ‘you’re doing a good job’ he said gruffly.
‘Go on, ask whatever you want to ask’, he’s always nice when he wants something.
He looked like he was about to argue, then smartly, he let it go ‘how did I die?’.
I swallowed hard ‘you lived in a big complex with about forty other people and it was blown up with you in it’.
‘Oh. That’s alright, I was worried that I had lost a fight’ I burst out laughing.
‘Same priorities then’ I shook my head at him, he always did make me laugh.
‘How brutal was I with the training?’ he feigned mock worry.
‘Man, you beat the shit out of me’ I grinned at him but turned serious ‘but, you saved my life with it. I was slowly getting better as the years went on and without the skill base there were a few close calls. But after your training I was untouchable, and you have no idea how much I needed that. In fact…’ I turned to him and stuck out my hand and shook his ‘thank you. Thank you for everything’.
He looked bemused ‘I didn’t do anything’<
br />
‘Yes you did, like I said the you in the otherworld was exactly the same. So, if this happens again you would do the same thing. So, thank you’. He looked like he was going to argue again ‘just take the fucking thank you okay?’ I laughed.
‘You got it’ he fist bumped my shoulder. Evan was never good with emotion, but banter was fine.
For the rest of the day we ran the same drills with different groups, I have answered so many questions. I did the meet and greet with everyone, just wanting to get it out the way. I got asked some fun questions though; ‘best zombie kill’, that was part of my human catapult game. I got flung into the air and shot one while I was midflight. It was pretty cool.
I was also asked ‘craziest escape?’ I led an enormous herd of the dead up a high rise building and parachuted off it. ‘that must have been insane’, story of my snapper land adventure, it was fun until I almost died.
By the end of the day my muscles hurt, they weren’t used to the work out. I felt lighter than ever, I had no energy left for anger. I was practically walking on air. I was about to leave when Evan called out behind me ‘Peyton, wait!’ he jogged up to me with his jacket in hand.
‘I have some more questions; do you want to come with me for a quick beer?’ socializing? Me?
‘Yeah, go on then. You’re paying though, I left my wallet in Rafes car’. I gave him a thumbs up.
I went to leave a note for Rafe at the front desk and easily enough we were only going for a beer across the street. Perfect.
‘So, go on then, ask your questions’ I said as I sat down and took my first sip.
He pondered for a second ‘I guess I wanted to know how much it all changed me’.
I took a minute to consider the question, ‘you had your ghosts, as did we all, but you were a protector. You protected me, by teaching me to be strong and you protected those that couldn’t fight for themselves. You were brave not stupid, unlike some’ I pointed at myself ‘mostly kept to yourself and occasionally danced as if your life depended on it’ I chuckled at the memory.
‘My family?’
I shook my head sadly ‘you lost them early on. The fucking safe zones were not so safe’.
Wildfire (Book 1): Leap of Faith Page 9