Impetuous (Victory Lap Book 1)

by Mercedes Jade

  They were starting to gather a gossipy crowd.

  “Kade helped me out there,” Tess admitted, nodding towards the double doors. “I almost got run over.”

  “Sure Kade doesn’t see many pretty girls around here, sugar,” nurse one said, adding a wink. “Wait until he finds out you’re going to be a regular, too.”

  Tess winced. “You’re all a lovely bunch of ladies and gentleman,” she added, spotting a balding male ward clerk by the computer, not really listening to them. “But I hope we don’t get to know each other too well. We need our mom at home.”

  Nurse one bent over the desk and ruffled Tess’s hair, goodnaturedly. “Maddy has Doc Mike on her side. Kearly has the PCU under heavy sedation but Dr. Michaels has a lighter hand. He believes in exercise and sunshine and chocolate chip cookies as treatments, along with a dash of conversational counselling. Your mom’s going to be right as rain in no time under his care.”

  “It’s why they give him all the juvies. He’s got a brighter outlook, sees the good in everyone and brings it out. Wants his patients back living their lives and not stuck in here,” nurse two said, giving her own two cents.

  “Ruby, how about you come with me and get the dressing supplies so you can help this young lady out with her mother?” an older nurse said, finally piping in. Nurse one nodded acceptance. “We try to give our patients as much privacy as possible, so we wouldn't have seen anything on her back. We don’t do pat downs on this side. It’s a system of trust.”

  “Thanks, Ruby,” Tess said, nodding her understanding.

  Her mother was sleeping with soft snores when the nurse and Tess returned, hands full of enough dressings to take care of her wounds for a month. The nurses all seemed to feel guilty over missing the injuries, even though her mother had probably hidden them.

  Tess didn’t really like to gossip, but the bonding she had done over bursting full wards and her own experiences with psychiatry had probably gone a long way to fixing the initial poor impression Tess had made with the nurses.

  Although medical staff wouldn’t admit it, they were susceptible to forming impressions of patient’s relatives that affected their care at times, too. Nothing anyone could comment on or show as proof, just the little things, like saving a cookie for her mother to hide away for later. Tess knew the value of being kind to those that were in charge of her mother’s care.

  Do unto others.

  “These aren’t from here,” Ruby said as she swabbed antiseptic over the scratches and showed there were older, well-crusted ones underlying a few opened up scabs. They had worked together to shift her mother’s shirt up, Tess shushing her mother back to sleep as she stood in front of her on the other side of the bed and smiled reassuringly.

  “She didn’t say how she got them. A bit dopey still,” Tess admitted.

  “Give it a few days for PCU to work its way out. I’ll tell Doc Mike she’s been hurt. He has a way of getting people to open up,” Ruby replied, placing the used antiseptic swab down on the blue pad she had laid on the bed with their supplies.

  “I just moved back home to take care of my younger siblings. Child services were insistent, since they didn’t know how long my mother would be admitted, and I can go to school here, all the same,” Tess said, looking over at Ruby dabbing antibiotic ointment on her mother’s back. “I need to know a few things from mom, like where she keeps the bank book and the bills to pay—heck, I don’t even know where she left the car keys. I was living in Solbrook, a few hours from here, and we didn’t keep in touch as much as we should have done.”

  There was guilt there at the end, and it was deserved. Tess hadn’t just tried to put her mother behind her when she left; there had been Ashley and Jason, too. Things had been disastrously bad, their whole family sinking like an overloaded boat that ploughed into an icefield of bergs, and Tess abandoned ship. It was not one of her finer moments.

  You reap what you sow.

  “You’ve been left quite a lot on your plate to clear, eh?” Ruby said. “Don’t seem right,” she added, shaking her head while she put down the ointment and the cotton-tipped applicator.

  She reached for the gauze next. “You’re just a baby yourself. How do they expect you to take care of yourself and your younger siblings, all on your own?”

  “I’m eighteen,” Tess reminded her. “I was on my own before, doing alright. The twins are fourteen, so it’s not like I have to do much but make sure they eat, go to school and no parties.”

  “Uh, sweetie, I can tell you are young if you think that’s all there is to raising up teenagers,” Ruby said, shaking her head again. “How come they didn’t come with you to see their mom?”

  Tess blushed. Okay, she had a fight with both of the twins within a few minutes of them being dropped off at the house by the temporary foster guardians. It had started over Tess making the Kraft Dinner. Ashley was eating gluten-free now and Jason had wanted vegetable pizza. Tess didn’t have any extra money for a special, gluten-free pizza and made the mistake of insisting the twins sit down while she ate the food, instead of letting it go to waste, and trying to force them to talk to her. She had secretly hoped the twins would unstubborn and eat.

  “As I mentioned, we haven’t lived together for a while. I moved out at sixteen and we’re having to adjust to each other again. They weren’t ready to see mom yet.”

  “Is that so?” Ruby said, thinking it over. “You might be best to wait until she’s more herself. I expect your younger siblings haven’t seen the inside of a psychiatry hospital as much as you, right?” Ruby said, ripping off a piece of tape for the dressings.

  “Yeah, I usually took care of that kind of stuff. Mom’s been good for a while, no admissions since I left, at least,” Tess said.

  “Well, you do your best to take care of those kids. We can mention the stuff you need to your mother. Maybe she can write it down, in case she’s indisposed again when you visit,” Ruby said, sounding sympathetic. She probably had seen families with a lot of ups and downs, not all of them due to the patient’s mood swings. Half of nursing seemed to be managing patient families, no matter which floor. “How about you write down your questions in a list and leave it at her bedside? Whoever comes to help with her care and meds can ask and see if it anything jogs her memory, then have Maddy write it down for you.”

  It sounded like a more than fair proposition. This respected her mother’s privacy while ensuring the people that were watching her would have the opportunity to ask the things Tess needed to know when her mother had more lucid periods.

  “That would be great,” Tess agreed. “Do you really think she’ll be in here long?”

  Ruby finished applying dressings, taping the last one on with soft fabric tape. It would be less painful to remove from her mother’s back later. The nurses here were doing their best, and the thoughtfulness made Tess feel less like she was alone in this.

  Those kind brown eyes looked up at her. The room was darkened, so they were darker now, pupil almost blending into the iris. It was as if the shadows in the room had gathered in the nurse’s eyes.

  “She came in catatonic.”

  Tess felt her stomach drop to her feet. All the reassurance from a moment earlier was weighed down by that revelation.

  “But... she was talking fine earlier. A little confused, some repression—but she’s done that before. It’s a coping mechanism,” Tess said, questioning tone wondering if Ruby had mixed her mom up with someone else.

  “She’s in and out of it. The antipsychotics help, but they wear off, and they make her very tired. Doc Mike mentioned trying to wean her off of them when she was admitted to the general ward and there were more people to interact with her. And you’re here now. She needs her family as much as it sounds like you kids need her.”

  “I’ll be here,” Tess promised.

  Ruby replaced the covers over her mother’s back and then held her hands out for Tess to grab. She got a reassuring squeeze and a smile from the older lady. The
cold fingers wrapping around Tess’s own didn’t matter. She had seen how caringly they had treated her mother’s wounds. Tess laced her own pale fingers with Ruby’s dark ones, feeling a bond forming between them. Ruby’s fingers had all the strength her own mother’s aged, weakened hands had lost.

  Cold hands, warm heart.

  “You are going to be okay,” Ruby said.

  That was when Tess Sinclair cried. Nobody had once thought about how she was doing. All she had gotten was yelled at and demands that she was so afraid of not meeting, but Tess couldn’t let anyone know she was less than capable. Her past mistakes were haunting her, back in the present and weighing her down.

  Ruby came around and wrapped her in a hug. Tess made herself calm, working on controlling her breathing, softening her sobs.

  “Sorry,” Tess said against Ruby’s shoulder.

  She was released, those brown eyes looking over her teary cheeks, and with a shushing noise, Ruby grabbed a tissue from the holder on the wall and dabbed the wetness away.

  “We can’t have you going out there looking like a red and white chicken that was just plucked, sweetie. What would that handsome Kade say?” Ruby told her, a gleam entering her gaze.

  It did what Tess supposed Ruby had wanted. She grabbed another tissue and blew her nose, wondering if she should use her mother’s bathroom to splash some cold water on her cheeks. Hot boys were far off her radar at the moment, but Tess didn’t want anyone that made her heart race already seeing her this vulnerable.

  “I’m sure Kade has made lots of girls cry,” Tess said, voice already stronger.

  “That boy’s got a barrel full of tearful sorrow, but that’s his story to tell you. Don’t judge him by the geegaws,” Ruby said, gesturing to her ears and eyebrow. “And don’t listen to the Watsons. Kade is not so bad and you sure look like you could use a friend.”

  She must have meant Kade’s piercings. He did have a rough exterior, but Tess found that more appealing than she probably ought to for the sake of her own sanity. Bad boys were a drug that you never stopped craving.

  “Unless he’s ready to fall down the rabbit hole, I’m sure Kade would rather be friends with someone normal,” Tess dismissed.

  “Pish, posh. You ain’t scared of the mad hatter,” Ruby said, looking her up and down.

  Tess was slightly confused. “Are you saying Kade is mentally ill?”

  “I’m saying you won’t run away if everything looks crazy, but sit down and have a nice cuppa tea,” Ruby said. “Kade could use a friend with some backbone to her.”

  What made Ruby think Tess wasn’t a coward? She had just cried all over her shoulder. She admitted to practically running away from her problems and leaving the kids with her mother, who now was in a mental asylum. Bravery was a badge she hadn’t earned.

  “I’m not as strong as I wish,” Tess admitted.

  Ruby sighed. “Is it a weakness because you need a hand?”

  “No,” Tess replied. “Thank you.” The reminder gave her strength.

  She met Ruby’s eyes, catching a wink before they both headed out the door. Tess didn’t bother with stopping in the washroom to splash cold water on her face, feeling better.

  “Don’t forget it,” Ruby said. “Ain’t no wrong in needing help. And maybe you’ll get to be the one giving help to someone else next time.”

  Tess had a feeling the nurse was implying that someone would be Kade. She must have a soft spot for struggling teenagers. Maybe the nurse was right. Most people their age would run screaming from the stuff that happened in an asylum.

  Fear was a misunderstanding, a lack of knowledge about what truly plagued the patients here, often misdirected. Crazy wasn’t as dangerous as premeditated evil. Tess had learned to judge people and not the illness. She believed in rehabilitation and second chances.

  You had to fall to know how to get up.

  Kade Saxton may be a nutcase, but insanity was something Tess understood well.

  Chapter 3

  Kade

  “KADE, CLEAR OUT THE other side of your desk. You’re getting a new partner today.”

  The semester had already started. Kade looked up at Mr. Williams, arching a dark brow in disbelief. He had gotten approval for doing the chemistry labs on his own at the beginning of the semester, partly because he had already done this class—albeit failed—and despite that, Mr. Williams knew he could do it.

  This was his last shot, and Kade didn’t want some other kid ruining it for him.

  “I don’t work well with others,” Kade muttered.

  “The class is already overbooked,” Mr. Williams testily retorted, coming over to drop a new lab book on the side of the desk Kade had removed his backpack to clear a space. “It’s a late addition and I have nowhere to put her.”

  Kade almost fell off his stool, twisting as he leaned to the other side to put his backpack on the floor. He caught himself, grabbing the desk edge.

  Not a girl. He wasn’t letting any girl get close to him and risk her getting hurt in the crossfire.

  “What? Trade me with Aaron. I’m not teaching some new girl the periodic table while she’s trying to figure out if the zinc in her lipstick is going to cause heavy metal poisoning,” Kade said, ignoring the gasps of a few other girls in the class for his misogynistic comment.

  It was an unfair thing to say, although Kade really did know a few girls that wouldn’t know what a heavy metal was to start with—and guys, too—but he was sworn off girls for the rest of high school, and he could play this chauvinistic role if he needed. It wasn’t that far from pretending he was too good for all of the high-school girls that he suddenly stopped showing interest in a few months ago.

  “Good thing I only use all-natural beeswax created from organic flowers for my lips,” a girl said.

  Kade turned a sneer towards the front of the class, just barely maintaining it when he realized the voice belonged to the Pumpkin from the psych hospital. He had thought her too young to be there on her own, a little pipsqueak with eyes as big as silver dollars when he had pulled her out of the way of the crazy prisoner that nearly ate her up while she was zoning at the door, making faces at the patients.

  Her childlike innocence in appearance had been at odds with the way she felt pressed up against him, even from behind. That bottom of hers was curvy and her lips were soft and surprisingly a bit spiced with flavoured chapstick. Damn, if she hadn’t left him getting hard to the thought of a Thanksgiving dessert while he tried to adjust himself before he met with Doc Mike.

  She was sending mixed signals again. As she walked around the long table at the front of the classroom, he got a look at her legs, knee highs and quite a lot of thigh on display. She had on a school kilt but it was hemmed just short of scandalous. The too-big, white short-sleeve shirt she wore untucked nearly covered up the kilt except for a couple of inches at the bottom.

  Kade heard a whistle, ripping his eyes off the new girl to see who else was checking out her legs.

  “Who is Aaron?” the girl asked, her voice closer.

  “Why do you care?” Kade said, turning back to face her.

  She was in front of his desk, reaching for the lab book. Brown taffy-coloured hair halfway hid her face as she leaned down and it spilled over her shoulder. She looked sweet as the candy her hair reminded him of, her eyes lowered and nibbling on her bottom lip.

  He put his hand down on the text possessively. No way was his Pumpkin going to partner with anyone else. Kade had a sudden change of heart and he wasn’t letting her get away.

  He had no idea he would ever see her again.

  The girl smiled at him. “I wouldn’t want to be stuck with a boy that’s trying to figure out the trace elements on the periodic table. It would make it so very difficult to understand which isomer makes up my chapstick wax if he’s still learning mere elements,” she said. She pulled the book out from under his shock-slackened grasp. “Get the wrong ester or phenol in there and I’ll be wiping the shells of grasshopper
butts on my lips instead,” she said with another sweet smile.

  Kade laughed. The day was looking much less boring.

  “There are no trading partners,” Mr. Williams announced. “You two wise-asses are perfect for each other.”

  Somebody gasped. It wasn’t his new partner. She was frowning down at Kade and reluctantly putting her lab book back on the desk.

  “Mr. Williams are you allowed to say that word?” an annoyingly high-pitched girl said in a stage whisper.

  The lips in front of Kade twitched up for a moment before the new girl met his gaze staring at her and she bit her lip again, chewing her amusement. She had dark hazel eyes, the green only noticeable up close, mixed with the brownish iris.

  Kade tilted his head, indicating she should take the only stool left, the one that put her next to him, right where he wanted her.

  Mr. Williams interrupted their staring. “Cara, I was referring to donkeys when I said wise-asses, of course. Page 33, everyone. We’re going to explore organic nomenclature. That should please Miss Sinclair since she’s all abuzz about phenols already.”

  She was still in front of Kade’s desk. Hearing her surname, she turned around to look for their teacher.

  “Theresa, would you please take a seat?” Mr. Williams said.

  “Tess,” she said, loud and clear. She moved, plopping her rather light looking bag down on the floor and taking the empty stool. It put her behind Kade if he was to look forward to the board.

  He looked at her. “Hey, Pumpkin.”

  “Hi, Bluebell,” she greeted.

  “Did she just call him blue balls?” Cara’s high-pitched voice asked, stage-whispering again, and followed with a giggle.

  Another girl piped in. “Cain’s reputation must have crossed school borders. Everyone knows he’s the blue Mouseketeer.”

  “Can’t get no, get no...” sang Darren. He was a fucking dweeb with hairy balls that no one would suck off, anyway.

  Kade kept his eyes fixed on Tess’s widening ones. She wasn’t deaf, but she played it cool, not looking around the classroom while they all gossiped and taunted him. He got to study the green-brown striations of her hazel eyes. Fascinating how they seemed to change shades right in front of him being this close. It almost made up for the ridicule he was suffering.