Impetuous (Victory Lap Book 1)

by Mercedes Jade

  Thinking of doctors though, Tess remembered that Doc Mike was waiting to talk to her. It was pretty unusual for a doctor to offer to take a call. She didn’t want to turn down his offer of help. She really did have a lot of questions for him about her mother’s care and her medications, especially with this new catatonia. And she hadn’t even talked to the doctor yet about the scratches, or what the long-term prognosis was for her mother, when she might be able to get out of the hospital and back home to the kids. He may not have time to answer all the hard questions today, but at least she could get the flavour of how things were going to go forward.

  “Mom, we’re going to go so I can make that phone call to the doctor. I will be back in about 15 minutes, maybe less. Can you wait for us here?” Tess asked.

  Her mother looked up from where she was digging through her bedside drawer, pulling out a few of her favourite books. Tess didn’t need a second glance to recognize her mother’s copy of ‘Bridge to Terabithia’ but although the ‘Anne of Green Gables’ was a favourite of her mothers as well, it definitely wasn’t her mother’s own copy.

  Her mother had a hardcover copy that was well worn on the edges but the binding was strong. This was a paperback in pristine condition. It wasn’t what she would have expected if her mother had borrowed it from the patient library, where hundreds of hands read the pages, flipping them, tearing them, and doing all sorts of dog-earring that caused a book to be aged past its years. A few more of the books her mother pulled out looked new as well.

  “Mom, where did you get all of these books?” Tess asked.

  She hoped her mom hadn’t been stealing them from the other patients. Her mother really hadn’t done anything like that for a long time. Even when she had stolen, it had always been because of her illness, a kind of spontaneous and impulsive action, and not because she wanted whatever she had stolen or she had not been able to afford it. They were poor but her mother always stayed within her means and she didn’t crave to have the finer things in life, or if she did, she never mentioned it to Tess.

  “I was given these by Ruby,” her mother said. “She’s such a nice nurse, and she has wonderful taste in books. She bought a few of them for me to enjoy since I was only allowed ‘Bridge to Terabithia’ from my purse. I don’t know how they expect us to read one book. I try to tell them I read a book every day and the newspaper.”

  “Well, that was really nice of Ruby,” Tess said, surprised. She doubted that the books were from Ruby’s personal collection. They looked to have been bought brand new, a gift to help her mother pass the long hours under lockdown. “Be sure to take good care of them,” Tess added, wondering if she should offer to pay Ruby back. Even the cost of a few paperbacks would stretch their already tight budget.

  Tess didn’t really need to say the last because her mother would take very good care of books. Sometimes her mother took better care of her possessions, like books, than she did her own children, although children were a lot more work and commitment. The kids certainly had shown Tess how much trouble they could be in the last few days with their picky diets and their refusals to talk to her at times. Maybe that was all part of being a teenager. Tess would swear she never acted in the way they did, having passed her rebellious stage.

  “Can your friends stay here with me and we’ll go through the books together?” her mother asked.

  “We would love to help you organize your books,” Kade said.

  “My mother used to enjoy ‘Anne Green Gables’ herself. Is that one of your favourites as well?” Keir asked.

  Tess looked at both of the guys, trying to probe for whether they wanted to stay or were being polite. Her mother was mentally ill and that could make a lot of people feel uncomfortable. Tess wasn’t sure if the guys were putting on an act to make her feel better about it, or if they really were okay if she left them behind with her mother while she made the phone call.

  She may as well ask. “Are the two of you okay staying with my mom while I go talk with the doctor?” Tess asked.

  “Sure,” Kade answered.

  “Absolutely,” Keir said. “We’ll stay here and watch after your mom. I know you were worried about her last night and we don’t mind keeping her company if she’ll have us.”

  Actually, it would make Tess feel safer if they were watching her mother while she made the phone call. She still was nervous whenever she thought about what happened last night. Kade had proved before that he could be a wonderful protector and his twin seemed to have the same protective tendencies.

  It was a safe, warm feeling that reminded her how a family should feel.

  Chapter 17

  NOT WANTING TO HOLD off any longer, because Tess was eager to look over her mom’s notes as well and talk to her more, Tess took off for the nursing station to look for Ruby and make that phone call to the doctor after ensuring her mother was settled with the guys and her books.

  It turned out that the doctor wanted to give her a quick update. He let Tess know that he was aware that her mother's catatonic state was something new, nothing that has been documented in previous psychiatric admissions when he had reviewed her records. It made Tess feel good to know that he had been thorough enough to review the records for this and that he acknowledged something must have happened to create this change in her symptoms.

  He still felt that her mom’s primary diagnosis was bipolar disorder, but he also felt there was some true psychotic aspects to her delusions and he said they may have even been some hallucinations, although they were still working through that as her mother started to communicate better with him during the counselling sessions.

  Tess told him what her mother had written down about Daniels bar. She wasn’t sure if there was something that had happened to her mother there because she seemed quite upset and afraid when she had called last night to ask Tess not to go near there. Tess wasn’t buying that it was all paranoid delusion.

  The doctor had mentioned that he didn’t think someone Tess’s age should be going to a bar and that it was a dangerous place.

  Tess reassured him that that was not in her plans even though she was lying to him because she had not ruled it out. She mentioned the scratches on her mother’s back and that Ruby had helped her to dress them, but that neither of them knew how they had gotten there or how long they had been there, although they had seemed somewhat fresh.

  The doctor said he had looked at the scratches himself and agreed that they were an injury that happened fairly recently, and probably before her mother had been admitted to the hospital. He said that he had tried to mention it to her mother but she had denied anything happening to her and refused to talk about it further.

  They spent the rest of the time talking about the medications that her mother had been started on. As typical for a new admission, her mother had been increased on her mood stabilizers and had an antipsychotic put on for a temporary basis because of her delusional behaviour and the catatonic state. Both Tess and the doctor agreed that it was too soon to take her off of these medications because she could slip back into that catatonic state again, and each time she did, there was a risk it would be harder to get her mother back out of it.

  At the very end of the conversation, Tess asked the doctor when he thought her mother might be able to come back home. He had answered that he wasn’t sure, and then when Tess felt an awkward silence, he added that he wasn’t sure because this admission was different from her previous admissions, making it more difficult for him to prognosticate.

  Tess thanked the doctor, hung up and gave the phone back to Ruby.

  “You’re right, he really is a great doctor. I appreciate you getting him to talk to me about things. There’s been so much going on with mom and I haven’t been living with her for the last few years, so I was a bit behind in everything. I’m going to go back and talk to my mom a bit more, and have a look at those notes that she had written for me. Thanks again.”

  “You’re such a good daughter,” Ruby said. “War has n
othing but praise to say for you. To be honest, I think my son has a bit of a crush on you, but don’t tell him I told you that. He’s had enough of those cheerleaders that are using him for his popularity. Do you know they think he’s all brawn and no brains? They only need to really talk to him and they would realize different.”

  It was awkward talking to Ruby about her son, especially about crushes and knowing War had left a hickey on her neck last night. Still, with everything Ruby had done for Tess and her mother, she felt she should say something.

  “Your son is one of the kindest, smartest boys I’ve ever met, and I can see why you are proud of him. We share religion class together. He was very nice to me on my first day at school. I think he learns a lot from you because he knows how to set people at ease. And I’ll have you know that I chased off one of those cheerleaders on the first day.”

  Ruby laughed. “I knew you would be good for those boys. And they told me about the tutoring, although I don’t know how you got that past the twin’s dad. I’m more than glad to have you helping my son to get through the biology class with a better mark. His dad would rather War went into business, but that’s not what my boy likes.”

  Tess actually hadn’t asked any of the guys what they wanted to do for university or college. It was an oversight she should address because if she was going to tutor them, she really should know what they planned to do in the future. It seemed like the kind of question any close teacher would know the answer to for her students, especially at their level.

  “What does your son want to do when he goes to university for sciences?” Tess asked, figuring she could get started with War.

  “He wants to do something in genetics. He’s always worrying about feeding the world. He says that there is a lot of work being done in plant genomics to make plants and crops more durable and able to be grown in more challenging conditions and more resistant to disease and pests. Did you know they even created golden rice that carries the orange pigment from beta-carotene?” Ruby said.

  “Why would they put that inside rice?” Tess asked, curious.

  “Because in some areas of the world where rice is the main food staple, the leading cause of blindness is a lack of beta-carotene. It’s so easily prevented with a proper diet but they can’t get the fresh vegetables in order to prevent blindness, so growing it in the rice can make a big difference in these poor countries.”

  “That’s really cool,” Tess said. She had never heard of it herself although she definitely understood the basics behind that type of genetic manipulation. It was kind of controversial as this would be considered GMO crops and they weren’t very popular with the general public, but she had never realized that such research can be used to help people in a third world country to eat better and enjoy improved health.

  It made her see why War wanted to do better in biology despite his strength in math. He had a goal and that goal was such a beautiful thing. “Thanks for telling me. I think that’s quite admirable,” Tess told Ruby.

  “Give a mother the chance to brag about her son and of course she’ll do it.” Ruby smiled. “I’m proud of him, no doubt, but he really is a smart boy, a wonderful boy. He’s not my only child, but he’s my youngest and the only one that was able to come with me when I moved to Canada.”

  “Did you guys come from Scotland?” Tess asked. She had noticed War’s accent of course, but she hadn’t really asked him if he had moved here from Scotland. It was a natural assumption, especially given his age, since it would be expected that his accent was from a recent move without time to acclimate fully to the local dialect.

  “Yes, we did move from Scotland four years ago when War started in high school. He’s here to play hockey on a scholarship and looking forward to possibly joining a more professional league at the university level. That was the main reason his father allowed him to come here, although I lived in Canada before I moved to Scotland for university and I had always wanted to come back and do more work. I still have family here as well, but they don’t live that close. War hasn’t decided if he’s going to move back to Scotland after university or if he’ll stay in Canada.”

  “How many other children do you have?” Tess asked.

  Ruby’s answer surprised her, although she didn’t seem to favour one over the other in her big family, she had something nice to say about each of them.

  Tess smiled at Ruby as the nurse chattered about family, feeling a little more relaxed now than before the phone call. “Well, I better get back to my mom and the boys before anyone gets antsy. I appreciate, again, you setting me up to talk to the doctor. And thanks for the info on War’s school plans. I promise I’m going to help him out with his biology, although he really is a gifted student and only needs a little nudge in the right direction for resources and study materials.”

  “Enjoy the rest your visit with your mother. Don’t forget to bring your younger brother and sister with you next time. Your mother mentioned that she’s been missing them. I’m sure she’s worried about all of you on your own without her.”

  A mother would know and understand. Tess felt bad for not thinking enough about how her mother would worry about them. They all may be more independent because of their mother’s illness and without their father involved, but that didn’t mean their mother was automatically less of a parent. She had stuck with them even when it probably would have been easier for her mother to give them up.

  “I’m going to try my best to bring them in. They’ve never been with my mom to a psychiatric hospital before. They were too young when she had her last serious admission. I think it’s making them nervous, thinking about seeing her like this. I’ll ask them again for next time, and I know Bastion and War want to come to meet her as well.”

  “I think that’s a good idea to bring your friends here to meet her,” Ruby said.

  Another nurse had been politely waiting and caught Tess’s eyes. Her time was up. “Have a good night,” she wished Ruby, giving a wave and turning to walk back to her mother’s room.

  When Tess went into the room, her mother was sitting on her bed with a couple of pillows propped up behind her and listening while Kade read out passages from ‘Anne of Green Gables.’ He was making it fun by using different voices for the different speakers. They were at the part where Anne had gotten her best friend drunk on berry wine, which was one of her mother's favourite parts.

  “Hi, I’m back,” Tess said, walking further into the room and giving her mother a look over. It was good to see she was comfortable with the new guys. Tess, herself, was usually pretty nervous around new people, kind of shy, but her mother was less shy except for when she wasn’t feeling well.

  “Didn’t you say that this was your mother's favourite book as well, Keir?” Tess asked. “I like ‘Anne of Green Gables’ too. Gilbert is such a good guy even if he has a weird obsession with carrots. I know somebody else that likes orange vegetables a lot.”

  “Pumpkin is a fruit,” Keir said.

  Kade laughed.

  Her mother’s giggle almost made Tess tense up but she fought it back, smiling. Her mother wasn’t stuck in the delusion of a child today. The guys had helped her mother pull out of her alter-ego retreat, a step forward. Her mother was just expressing her amusement.

  “Ruby likes this book because she says any red-haired lass with a lot of sass is worthy enough to be Scottish,” her mother said.

  “She would be a good judge,” Tess agreed.

  “Did everything go okay with the doctor?” Kade asked, using a bookmark made from a folded piece of scrap paper and putting the book down on her mother’s bedside table.

  “Yep. He said that Maddy still needs to stay on the strong medications because she’s been pretty sick lately. Do you like the doctor?” she asked her mother.

  “Yes, he’s a nice man. He did explain to me about the medications and that I’ve been having difficulty with going into periods where I don’t talk to anyone because I’m too sad.”

  It wa
s strange to hear her mother describe exactly what had been happening to her, although it didn’t exactly demonstrate understanding and insight. Sometimes it was only repeating what information she had heard said to her.

  “If there’s anything you want me to talk to the doctor about next time, let me know,” Tess said.

  “Do you want me to write it down on the page?” her mother asked.

  “Yes, actually, that would be perfect. Where do you have the page you have been using for that so far? I wanted to talk to you about what you wrote on it last night.”

  Her mother looked over to her side table and at the page that was sitting there. “Go ahead and have a look,” her mother said when Tess didn’t move to pick it up herself.

  It was kind of strange. As if her mother had written something she didn’t want to acknowledge out loud. It made Tess feel uncomfortable for a moment and she wondered if she should dismiss the guys and read over everything in private.

  In the end, though, she decided it would be more expedient to look everything over quietly. There wasn’t much written on the page, everything as Ruby had read to her last night, nothing held back. She put the page down and looked at her mother.

  Was it worth it to push her mother further and directly ask what Tess wanted to know?

  Don’t ask, don’t tell.

  “What is this Daniels bar and why don’t you want me to go there?” Tess said, keeping her voice calm and steady. There could be something serious and dangerous going on, especially given her mom’s past and her current behaviour, which made Tess anxious but sharing that fear might alarm her mother.

  “Daniels ain’t got me,” her mother said, her voice changing to a monotone. It wasn’t the fearful, heavy breathing of last night, no inflection of fear or anger. This was almost robotic. Exactly the kind of tone someone would use to repeat a complex set of instructions, stripped of emotion or judgment.

  “What do you mean?” Tess asked, frustration making her clench her fists powerlessly at her sides. “I don’t understand mom. I know that Daniels is a motorcycle bar and that there are probably drugs and underage drinking and bad stuff that you don’t want me to go near—and you know I wouldn’t do that kind of stuff—so what is it you’re trying to warn me away from then? Why do you think I’d go there?”