Cloche and Dagger

by Cloche

  ‘Scarlett? Is that you?’ Viv called from upstairs.

  ‘Yes, it’s me,’ I called back. I was afraid I’d woken her up and felt bad about it.

  ‘What are you doing?’ she called.

  Really? We were shouting at each other from separate floors? It reminded me of when we would have one of our yelling conversations when we were teens, and Mim would look at us with one eye closed tight as if the closed eye was too busy warding off an incoming headache to be functional in the sight department. Again, the memory made me miss her so much. What I wouldn’t give for just one more hug from Mim.

  ‘I’m looking in the wardrobe,’ I yelled, but my voice tapered off on the last word as Viv entered the room.

  Her hair was tumbled around her head and she was yawning. So I guess she wasn’t the deep sleeper that she’d once been. Maybe it was just part of being a grown-up. No more untroubled sleep.

  ‘I’m sorry, did I wake you?’ I asked.

  ‘No, the lump in the couch took care of that,’ she said. ‘But you weren’t there when I woke up and then I heard voices down here. Who were you talking to?’

  ‘Ferd,’ I said.

  She looked at me in confusion. I pointed up at the raven, and she smiled.

  ‘If he were a real bird, I expect he’d plop some droppings on you for that moniker,’ she said.

  ‘I just noticed that the cupboard door is gouged,’ I said. ‘I don’t think that was here before the break-in. But I haven’t locked the cupboard, so I don’t understand why they thought they had to gouge it open.’

  Vivian glanced into the cupboard and then she paled.

  ‘What is that doing in there?’ she asked.

  ‘The hat? I just found it yesterday,’ I said. ‘I’d forgotten about the hidden compartments in this cupboard. Why did you hide it in there?’

  ‘It was supposed to be a secret,’ Viv said. ‘But you told me Lady Ellis was wearing the hat I made for her when her body was found. So, why don’t the police have it?’

  ‘Why would they?’ I asked. She wasn’t making any sense.

  ‘Because that’s the hat I made for Lady Ellis,’ she said.

  Chapter 39

  ‘No, it can’t be,’ I said. ‘I sold her the hat you made for her and it looked nothing like this.’

  We stared at each other for a moment and Vivian looked fully awake and very ill at ease.

  ‘What did the hat you sold her look like?’ she asked. ‘Can you describe it?’

  ‘It was blue,’ I said. ‘Well, no, not blue exactly, more like an aqua or a teal. It was a cloche, really lovely.’

  Viv frowned at me. ‘Why would she pick up a cloche? She specifically wanted a wide-brimmed hat that would frame her beautiful face, her words not mine. A cloche wouldn’t do that.’

  ‘I don’t know,’ I said. ‘Nothing makes sense. I thought she was accompanied by her husband that day, but I just found out at the wake that it wasn’t Lord Ellis at all but rather some smarmy man. Except he didn’t look smarmy at the wake today, he looked sad.’

  ‘Smarmy?’ Viv asked.

  ‘Yes,’ I said. ‘He had thick lips that he licked repeatedly. I got the distinct feeling he enjoyed the misery of others, especially if he was the one making them miserable.’

  ‘Lord Cheevers, Elise Cheevers’s husband,’ Viv said. She hurried over to the counter where she’d left her cell phone. She quickly opened an Internet browser on it. In seconds she had brought up pictures of the man I’d met with Lady Ellis that fateful night she’d come to collect her hat.

  ‘That’s him,’ I said. My insides clutched as I got a bad feeling about the whole situation.

  ‘This is so strange,’ Viv said. ‘Why was he with Lady Ellis? And why did they buy the wrong hat?’

  ‘You know, Viv, not to be critical,’ I said. ‘But if you’d put Lady Ellis’s order in the database, I might have been able to find the right hat for her, especially if you noted that you were keeping it in the back of the wardrobe.’

  ‘I did. She is in the database,’ Viv said.

  ‘No, I looked under “Lady,” “Ellis” and “Victoria,”’ I said. ‘There was no listing.’

  ‘That’s because she’s listed under another name,’ Viv said.

  ‘What other name?’

  ‘It’s of no matter,’ Viv said. ‘It’s a nickname. Now back to the hat…’

  ‘Oh, no, you don’t,’ I said. I put the hat on an empty shelf and stared Viv down. ‘What nickname?’

  ‘It’s in the “K”s,’’ she said.

  I had thought it would be in the ‘B’s,’ as in the word for a female dog, so now I was utterly confused.

  ‘I call her “Knicks,”’ Viv confessed. ‘Not to her face, of course.’

  ‘Of course,’ I said with a laugh. ‘Care to explain?’

  ‘Her knickers are always in a twist; “Knicks” rhymes with “Vicks” so it just seemed to fit.’

  ‘Anyone else in there under a nickname?’ I asked.

  ‘No, I think she’s it,’ Viv said. She looked down at the floor and then up at me with a grin. ‘I’m sorry she’s dead, truly, I am, but she was an awful person. She married Rupert for his title and status and treated him abominably.’

  ‘Then why take her on as a client?’ I asked. ‘You are famous enough for your creations not to have to take on people you don’t like.’

  Viv sighed. ‘Rupert asked me to do it and I just feel so badly for—’

  ‘For what?’ I prodded her. ‘For not loving him back? Viv, it’s not your fault you didn’t feel that way and he went and married someone awful. He should have stuck to his love of headstones.’

  ‘You heard about that?’ she asked.

  ‘The press made quite a story out of it,’ I said. ‘Earl obsessed with graveyards comes home to murdered wife.’

  ‘Oh, poor Rupert.’ Viv cringed. ‘He really is the nicest person.’

  A knock at the door made us both start. The shades had been drawn on the large windows and on the window of the door, so we couldn’t see out.

  ‘Who could be here at this hour?’ I asked.

  ‘Maybe it’s Harrison,’ Viv said.

  ‘No, he would use his key,’ I reasoned. ‘Maybe it’s the police.’

  I approached the door, fearing it was the sweaty photographer from the wake. Yuck. I pushed the shade aside and peered out front. No one stood out there waiting to come in. It was then that I noticed a shadow against the door glass. Someone was slumped against the bottom of the door.

  ‘Viv, someone is out here. I think they’re hurt!’ I cried.

  I had the alarm deactivated and the dead bolt halfway unlocked when Viv hurried to my side.

  ‘Don’t open the door!’ she cried. She was looking past me, but it was too late. I had already pushed the door open a crack. It was yanked from my hands before I had a chance to pull it shut or refasten the lock.

  ‘Well, look who’s returned!’ Elise Cheevers said as she strode into the shop. ‘Vivian Tremont, and here I thought you’d fled the country after murdering your longtime love’s wife.’

  I glanced past Lady Cheevers at the closing door. No one was out there, so it had been Elise slumped against the door. She had tricked me.

  ‘Elise,’ Viv said, her voice remarkably steady given the odd situation. ‘You are aware that we’re closed?’

  ‘Oh, this won’t take but a minute,’ Elise said. She looked at me with scathing contempt. ‘You sold my hat to Vicks.’

  ‘I did?’ I asked.

  ‘Yes, Vicks called me the next day and told me all about the pathetic little shop girl who sold her this fabulous teal cloche,’ Elise said. Her eyes blazed. ‘That was my hat.’

  I looked at Viv for confirmation but her lips were pressed together in a look that said she was trying not to lose it. I could tell by the horrified expression in her blue eyes that she felt the same sense of danger I was feeling. There was definitely something wrong with Elise Cheevers, and even with all of my
people skills I had no idea how to manage her. I glanced back at Elise and saw the fury in her eyes, and I realized this wasn’t about a hat. This was about having everything you ever wanted scooped out from under you by the person who was supposed to be your best friend. Suddenly, it all made perfect, insanely perfect, sense to me.

  ‘It was you, wasn’t it?’ I asked. ‘You killed Lady Ellis.’

  Elise Cheevers laughed. It was the sort of cackling laugh that made your skin ripple with dread.

  ‘Figured that out, did you, ducks?’ Elise slurred her words and I wondered if she was drunk. That would actually be a good thing because I figured we could overpower her if she was impaired. Otherwise, she might just be crazy strong and then we’d stand no chance of taking her out.

  ‘Elise, I appreciate that you and Knicks, uh, I mean Vicks had your issues, but it has nothing to do with us,’ Viv said.

  She moved to stand beside me as if we were a wall that Elise would have to get past.

  ‘Oh, it has everything to do with you,’ Elise said.

  ‘Really, Elise, I’ve had a long day and the shop is closed,’ Viv said. She moved toward Elise with her arms out like she was herding geese across a busy street.

  Elise pulled a sharp knife out of her bag and held it straight out at Viv. I reached forward and yanked Viv back before she was impaled upon the point.

  ‘I’m sorry, but this has to be cleared up tonight,’ Elise said. She began walking forward, knife in hand, giving Viv and me no choice but to keep backing up. We kept moving back until we found ourselves in the workroom, pressed up against the center table. ‘You see, you two are my only loose ends.’

  ‘I’m not following,’ I said. It was a blatant stall tactic. For I can assure you, with a knife that big pointed at us I was following this conversation more closely than I had ever followed anything in my life.

  ‘You are the only two who know that the hat on Lady Ellis’s head at her time of death is not the hat she ordered, which is a minor detail that could cause an unfortunate amount of suspicion to come my way,’ Elise said. ‘Well, you two and my husband, but he’s of no consequence anymore.’

  The look of evil satisfaction in her eyes led me to believe that whatever had happened to Lord Cheevers had been about as pleasant as what had happened to Lady Ellis.

  ‘But he was at the viewing…’ I trailed off. Damn it, when would I learn to keep my mouth shut?

  Elise gave me a frosty look. ‘Yes, the poor man was so grief-stricken over his lover’s death, but you knew that, didn’t you?’

  ‘I don’t understand,’ I said. This time it was true. I had a feeling her crazy train had hopped the tracks.

  ‘How did it feel to almost have your life snuffed out?’ Elise asked.

  In a flash of memory, the burning sensation in my lungs returned, but this time the terror that had gripped me turned into rage.

  ‘You think I had something to do with Lady Ellis and Lord Cheevers buying your hat?’ I asked. ‘It was a mistake, an honest mistake.’

  ‘No, you see, it wasn’t,’ Elise said. She turned the knife as if enjoying the play of light upon its blade. ‘They did it on purpose. They did it to hurt me. Vicks always wanted whatever I had. I should have known that eventually, she would take him, too, and you helped them. After all, you are quite the home wrecker yourself, aren’t you?’

  ‘But I didn’t know…’ My voice trailed off as I realized that in her crazy mind I had been a part of her husband and her best friend’s plot to hurt her. And given that she knew about my own personal scandal, I didn’t think there was anything I could say to prove otherwise.

  ‘Elise, this is madness,’ Viv said. ‘Scarlett didn’t know the hat was yours. She didn’t even know who your husband was. They tricked her as well.’

  Elise stared at me as if trying to see into my soul. I could hear the ticking of the clock on the wall and feel every beat of my heart in my chest.

  ‘It doesn’t matter,’ Elise said. ‘I knew when you got back, Viv, that you would figure out that Scarlett sold the wrong hat to Vicks. I did try to find the hat once to spare us all but no luck. If that bloody wardrobe hadn’t been locked, none of this would have been necessary. I’m afraid my temper got the better of me when I couldn’t open the cupboard.’

  ‘You ransacked the shop?’ I asked. ‘After the tea, when Lady Ellis’s garden hat wasn’t among the ones I offered?’

  Elise gave me a bored look. ‘Viv once told me she kept all of the special hats in the wardrobe, and I knew that’s where Vicks’s hat would be. Do you remember?’

  Viv nodded, but I wasn’t sure if it was because she remembered their conversation or because she was trying to pacify Elise.

  ‘When you said it was Lord and Lady Ellis who had been in the shop, I realized you didn’t know who the man with Vicks really was. I thought I might not have to kill you after all,’ Elise said. ‘But then you saw my husband at the wake, and I knew you would figure out that he and Vicks were a pair and that the person most likely to kill Vicks would be me. I didn’t know you were back, Viv, so this just makes things all the easier.’

  ‘Elise, you don’t have to do this,’ I said. ‘You can declare it a crime of passion to have killed your husband’s lover.’

  ‘And my husband?’ she asked.

  Viv and I exchanged a wide-eyed glance and then turned back to her.

  ‘Yes, I’m afraid he’s suffered an unfortunate accident. After the wake, he was so distraught, I offered to make him some tea. That will be the last time he puts his thick lips on any of my china,’ she said with satisfaction.

  There was no way I could hide my look of horror. Elise narrowed her eyes at me.

  ‘Oh, please, he got off much easier than Vicks. I made her wear the hat. I wouldn’t let her put anything else on, and then after she confessed to sleeping with my husband, I stabbed her.’

  Elise smiled to herself as if pleased. ‘It was a poor decision to leave the hat on her head, but I felt there was a certain poetic justice to it; besides, I had to hurry before the housekeeper found me.’

  ‘But surely, if you’ve killed your husband, someone will notice his absence and you’ll be caught,’ Viv said.

  ‘No, I made sure everyone thinks he’s on a business trip to the Continent. That should buy me a little time. Now there is a grass shack in some small village in Thailand calling to me and I must go.’

  ‘You’re mad,’ Viv said. ‘Four murders? How do you possibly think you’ll get away with four murders?’

  ‘Oh, but I’m not going to murder you,’ she said. ‘No, you’re going to have a horrible accident.’

  ‘What are you talking about?’

  ‘A tragic fire,’ Elise said with a mock-sad face. ‘The beautiful cousins were just reunited when a horrible fire engulfs their home and the two women and their hat shop are scorched beyond all recognition.’

  ‘Scorched?’ Viv and I asked faintly.

  ‘Cooked, toasted, fried,’ she confirmed. ‘Let’s go upstairs and set the stage, shall we?’

  Viv looked at me and I knew what she was thinking. If we went upstairs, we were done for. She tipped her head imperceptibly toward the table. Fiona had left several wooden hat forms she’d been using on the table. I frowned at Viv. I had no idea what she was thinking.

  ‘Go on, upstairs with you,’ Elise ordered. ‘I have places to go and people to see.’

  ‘I wonder what Mim would say about this,’ Viv said.

  ‘Who cares?’ Elise asked.

  ‘It’s just that she was so particular about her things in the shop,’ Viv said. ‘Remember, Scarlett?’

  She looked again at the table and then at me. I was standing closer to the table so I knew she was trying to tell me something. And then, I remembered.

  One summer on my vacation to London, Viv and I had taken a few of the wooden hat forms for brims that Mim kept in her storage closet to the park. We used them as toy boats in the fountains and as clunky Frisbees. We tied one to a
tree branch and used it as a swing.

  Mim had been furious. These had been two of her favorite hat forms and we had battered them beyond repair. We’d spent all of the next day scrubbing every floor in the three-story house. Lesson learned.

  That being said, I had developed a knack for flinging the round wooden form pretty far. Is this what Viv wanted me to do now? Did she think I could grab it and hit Elise with it before she stabbed one or both of us? I didn’t think it was possible, and even more than not wanting to be stabbed myself, I really didn’t want Viv to be harmed. I’d just gotten her back.

  ‘Scarlett!’ a voice called from out front. It sounded like Nick.

  ‘Oy, Scarlett, you’ve left your door unlocked,’ Andre called after him.

  Elise whipped her head in the direction of the door. As soon as she did, I snatched up one of the circular hat forms and heaved it at her arm. There was a solid thunk and with a yelp, Elise dropped the knife. Viv dove forward and sacked Elise in a tackle worthy of an American football player. I kicked the knife away.

  Nick and Andre dashed through the open doorway, yelling, ‘What the bloody hell is going on?’

  Elise was struggling but Viv had her pinned. I snatched some ribbon from the table and used it to tie Elise’s hands and feet. When I stood, I saw my friends staring open-mouthed at us.

  ‘Oh, Nick, Andre, you’re here,’ I said. ‘Excellent timing. My cousin Vivian has returned.’

  They stared at Viv and then at me and then Elise, who was struggling and cursing on the floor, trying to wrench her hands free of the ribbons.

  ‘Pleasure to meet you,’ Andre said as he extended his hand to Viv. ‘Although, you seem a bit tied up at the moment.’

  Nick chuckled and said, ‘No, she’s just stringing you along.’

  Vivian laughed and said, ‘I’m a frayed knot.’

  The three of them were hooting, when I said, ‘I knew you were all bound to get along.’

  They all stopped laughing and looked at me. ‘Aw, come on. That was a good one. “Bound”? You have to give it to me.’