So Good for Me: Bad Boy Forbidden Love Romance Collection

by Jamie Knight

  It was a beautiful day. The sky was just about as sunny as my disposition. Something reflected by my shirt that day, which was bright powder blue with a prancing unicorn under a rainbow. If I was a donut, I would be a jelly-filled vanilla dipped with rainbow sprinkles.

  “Oh, wow,” Lila said, catching sight of my shirt.

  I did a little happy jig.

  “Silly daddy!” Billy laughed, clapping his hands.

  “No argument there, kiddo,” I said, standing up straight.

  “Do you mind taking him?” Lila asked, handing the toddler over.

  “Not at all,” I said, barely stopping myself before I added, “honey.”

  Lila gently passed Billy over to me as I gave her our tickets, my hands then somewhat full. I had thought well ahead and unfurled the blanket from the wicker picnic basket I had brought along, claiming our place near enough the stage to hear the music without hurting Billy’s little ears, and in the pleasant shade of a big tree.

  My beautiful blonde date wasn’t wearing much in the way of clothes, opting for a flowing, sleeveless summer dress and a pair of flip-flops. I stole several peeks at her beautiful body. If Lila didn’t like this, she didn’t let on.

  “Hungry?” I asked.

  “A bit,” she admitted.

  Digging into the basket, I laid out the three-course lunch I had made. Including apple juice for Billy and soft apple cider for Lila and me. While I had been afraid at first, I didn’t go tumbling off the wagon after one drink. If anything, the impulsively downed scotch made me less likely to want to drink. My pallet had been cleansed, making me able to realize how genuinely disgusting it tasted. At least to me. Though, to be fair, I was a lot more geared towards sweet flavors as opposed to bitter or sour.

  “T-this is amazing,” Lila said, sounding genuinely staggered.

  “I do my best,” I said, unable to keep from smiling.

  I could tell that Lila was trying to hold herself back. I got the impression that had she been alone, she would have been digging into the food with a lot more gusto. I really had tried my best and was happy that she liked it so much. My forethought had gone so far as to put some good things into the blender, making a sort of smoothie.

  Lunch was surprisingly and pleasantly intimate, with long, warm looks from both me and Lila, our hands touching longer than was strictly necessary when reaching for the same thing.

  “Is that —”

  “Blink-182?” I asked when the bassline for “Dammit” started up over the PA.

  “Yeah.”

  “Indeed,” I confirmed.

  “How?”

  “I pulled some favors,” I said with a shrug, “go on, I’ll watch the little ones.”

  “A-are you sure?” Lila asked, still looking towards the stage.

  “Of course,” I said, having planned it the entire time.

  She got up and wiped her hands, giving me a very generous view up her dressed, which I could only assume was intentional and, kicking off her flip-flops so she could move better, nearly ran to join the mosh pit.

  “Mommy go,” Billy squealed.

  “Indeed,” I said.

  It was getting dark when things started winding down. Dante Street Massacre was up doing one of the more symphonic of their Symphonic Metal songs. The crowd swaying and holding each other really into it like I had seen at Wacken heavy metal festival a couple of years ago when Chris had gotten me tickets.

  “Bedtime,” Billy said, gently patting my shoulder. He was yawning, and I knew it was time to go.

  As we packed up, Lila stopped and gave me a look. “Would you like to come back with us?”

  Her words practically lifted me off my feet. “Sure. I even have a car seat now.”

  Lila called Aria to call off the ride as I got the basket and baby loaded into the car. Switching over to something a bit more age-appropriate in terms of driving music, figuring that Billy didn’t understand Norwegian, I followed Lila’s directions back to their place.

  The house was really very impressive. Particularly considering the housing market at that time. I figured that she must live with Aria and maybe a couple of other people to afford rent.

  I pulled up into the driveway and went around to open Lila’s door before getting Billy, who was already half asleep. He lay flat against me, his cheep pressed into my shoulder. I tried to keep my eyes off of Lila’s gently wiggling hips and beautifully curvy ass as she lead the way up to the door.

  The house was empty when we went in. I had expected to at least see Aria and get around that awkward social roadblock, but no such hindrance was presented. It was just the three of us. I couldn’t help but feel really at home. I got a brief glimpse of what it might be like if we were actually a family with our own house. The only thing that would make it perfect would be to have Lucky running around in the backyard with his own yard.

  “This way,” Lila said, leading me down the hall. The room was small, yet had a bed as well as an antique crib squeezed into it. The crib had a picture of me from a few years ago tapped to the inside of it.

  Leaving me standing there holding our son, Lila slipped out, leaving us to it. Lila and I might not have been together anymore, but I was bonding like mad with our son.

  “Night, Daddy,” Billy said, waving his hand in front of my face instead of in front of the photograph.

  I leaned down and kissed him on the cheek, making him squirm and giggle with delight. It really was nice to see him so happy. I also noticed how he looked even a little more like me when he was smiling.

  “Silly, Daddy.”

  Yes, I was. Both silly and his daddy. I decided right then and there to become a proper dad and be in my son’s life. Not just as a part-time dad but for real. I had a job with regular hours and didn’t tend to take my work home with me. Other than Lucky, I had no other responsibilities and would have a lot of time do dedicate to him. Which I was sure would make things easier for Lila too.

  I had to find a way to get us all back together. Life was rarely so perfect as to allow me to get back with Lila and have full access to Billy, but I was still willing to give it a try. To that very day, I always wore the medallion I had gotten at First Communion, bearing the likeness of St. Jude. Patron Saint of Lost Causes.

  I watched until Billy was asleep and slipped out of the room, which Billy and Lila clearly shared, trying not to think about how rough their lives must have been up until that point. I was still trying to hatch a plan for us to be a proper family, which I honestly wanted more than anything.

  I found my way back to the living room, where Lila had already poured herself a drink and was sitting on the couch, her lovely legs crossed in a very enticing way. I took a breath and went to sit with her, curious about what might happen next.

  Chapter Eleven - Lila

  I had been astonished at how Carl had been acting all day. He had always been kind and gentle. However, I hadn’t been expecting the level of responsibility and forethought he had been showing on our outings. He was terrific with Billy, who really seemed to love his father.

  I had known the house would be empty when we got there. Irene was at her usual weekly bingo game, which she attended like clockwork. I had begun to worry that she was getting addicted, but Aria’s grandmother always pointed out that she had been doing it for years, and it was one of the few pleasures she had left since she quit smoking. I found it difficult to argue with this logic. Not only because there wasn’t a single known instance of bingo giving someone lung cancer. I really wasn’t in much of a position to say anything anyway, being a guest in her house.

  I tried to do my best to help out and pull my weight, even though Irene never seemed too concerned. We had known each other since Aria, and I had become friends, and it was more like she was my grandmother as well. Which would go a long way in explaining why she let me and Billy live in her house rent-free for the last year with no question about when we might be leaving or suggestion that w
e should. It had been a rough go, but I was finally starting to enjoy my life.

  “I suppose we should be getting to bed, too. We both have work in the morning,” I said.

  It was as strong a hint as I could give, but Jinx either didn’t get it or was ignoring it. I knew he wasn’t dumb, so I figured it was the second one. Instead of leaving, he sat down on the nearby comfortable chair. I both hoped and dreaded that he might try to sit with me on the couch, but he seemed to be trying to keep things friendly between us. I had made it pretty clear that I wasn’t interested in getting back together. Doing everything short of blasting Taylor Swift at him. Something I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy, let alone the man I once loved.

  I still loved Jinx even if I wasn’t willing to admit it. He had been so tender and responsible with Billy over the last couple of weeks. My ex could have just been trying to get into my good graces, but it didn’t feel that way. I could see he could be a great dad given the chance. Something that made me want him even more. Having my former lover treat me with a friendly distance was really painful, despite the fact that it was pretty much what I asked him to do.

  Despite the hints to leave, I really didn’t want Carl to go. I wanted him to stay and take me right there on the couch. That was the part that scared me the most. I guess I didn’t really know what I wanted, but in my heart, I knew what was going on. The pain from what had happened before and the fear of getting hurt again was holding me back from really going after the man I loved.

  I had to change the subject in my mind to something less risky. “What kind of involvement do you want in Billy’s life? I assume you want more now than we have been doing with our family dates.”

  Jinx nodded. “Honestly yes, though that’s not to say it hasn’t been fun. It’s given me something to look forward to other than work.”

  “Oh, well, that’s good.”

  He leaned towards me. “Yeah, I’ve really liked it, though if I’m honest — which I’m really trying to be, as much as possible — I would like a lot more than a few hours here and there. I want full time.”

  “Oh,” I said, trying to sound calm, though I was hit by a pang of cold fear, afraid that he might sue for custody.

  I unwillingly flashed back to how Conrad, Jinx’s father, had treated me when he first found out I was pregnant with his grandson. Carl was still around then, in body at least, his mind was somewhere else entirely. Billy’s grandfather was pretty insistent on how my son should be raised, citing how well Carl had turned out as proof of his method. Except that it was being around him that had lead to Carl going off the rails and any goodness there was in my ex had come from direct rebellion against his father’s example. Something Conrad didn’t seem to fathom, sure he was the god-king of the city, if not the world.

  I tried to go along with it, continuing to work as a Blackjack dealer as long as I could. Though when it came closer to the time for Billy to be born, I had what could be called a moment of clarity and left it all behind. I was in a shelter for a while but then I remembered that Aria also lived in Vegas and decided to give her a call. She really did save me from a fate worse than death.

  I remembered what I said to Carl about how I wouldn’t have run away. What bullshit. Running way was something we both had in common, and honestly, if he hadn’t gone into rehab, I would have left him eventually. His leaving and me running from Conrad were two the best decisions we had made.

  Even knowing that I still couldn’t quite forgive him. Not for leaving but for not contacting me after he got back. I understood him going to rehab. Jinx really did need help at the time. I could even accept him not telling me he was leaving. It must have been a spur of the moment thing. But he could have called me when he was out, let me know he was okay, maybe even ask how I was. That was the part that still really hurt. Yet, despite that, I still loved him, even if I couldn’t completely trust him.

  “Don’t worry,” Carl said, bringing me back to reality, “I’m not planning to sue for custody or anything. I hate all that shit. You know how I feel about the government in general.”

  “That they suck at everything?”

  “Exactly. So, if possible, I would like to keep things between us if we can. I am nothing if not reasonable. I’m confident we can work out a compromise.”

  I blinked at him. “You said you wanted him full-time.”

  Jinx smiled, running a hand through his dark hair. “Well, yes, that would be my ideal. We don’t have to start there. I want more than the family dates, but we can take it slow. I think that would be best for Billy. Like you said, ease him into it. He doesn’t really know me yet, and you’ve been his primary caregiver. It’s probably a good idea to keep things as regular as we can until we work up to more time.”

  “Absolutely,” I said, surprised, and impressed at how reasonable he was being.

  I felt kind of bad for suspecting Carl of wanting to take our baby away from me. That really wouldn’t be in character for him and, of course, that wasn’t what he had meant. He wasn’t his dad — or, apparently, the man he had been when he disappeared. I could feel the love growing within me.

  Chapter Twelve - Jinx

  It was interesting what you could get used to when you tried. I hadn’t even known I was a dad less than a month before, but I suddenly found myself really getting into the role. I honestly loved both Billy and Lila and wanted to spend as much time with them as I could. Even if it did mean having Lila only as a friend. Though it didn’t feel unfitting in that case. Of course, we loved each other, I had a feeling Lila still felt the same even though she didn’t show it. We had been friends for years too, if anything, it was a default setting. I wanted more but didn’t want to push her and was honestly okay with being just friends and least for the moment while we worked things out.

  Making sure Lucky was set up before I left, I put on my nicest polo shirt and cleanest jeans and tamed my dark hair into waves rather than slicked back before I headed out, a home made pie cradled carefully in both hands.

  I wasn’t sure how the Sunday afternoon potlucks had gotten started, the inception occurring long before I joined the staff at Sure Thing, but that didn’t mean that they weren’t entertaining. In addition to the big lunch and shit-shooting, there would also be an office-wide ping-pong tournament with both singles and doubles events. The winners at the end of the year got a cut of the prize money we had all put half of our Christmas bonuses into. I never played, having the approximate co-ordination of a three-legged crab, though it was always fun to watch others play, knowing that my money was going to a good cause.

  Lila was waiting at the door of the building, Billy held on her front in a snuggly.

  “They wouldn’t let me in,” she explained.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry,” I said, laying a hand onto her shoulder.

  “It’s okay,” she said, clearly upset but not trying to pull away.

  “Come with me,” I said, leading the way, security pass at the ready.

  I really should have told her. The building was technically closed on Sunday. The firm got an exemption, but you needed a staff pass to get past security.

  “Hello again,” Camilla said brightly, as she came out of the boardroom.

  “Okay, let’s start here,” I said, stopping at the reception desk.

  “Hey?” Lila and Camilla asked in unison.

  “Lila, this is Camilla, my dear friend of the last to years. Camilla, this is Lila, my old friend, and baby mamma and our son Billy.”

  “You have a son?” Camilla asked, seeming as amused as she was surprised.

  “Yes.”

  “You?”

  “Yes.”

  “Wow. He’s really cute, man.”

  “Why thank you,” Cooper said snarkily as he walked over.

  Cammy rolled her eyes. “The baby, bro.”

  “Oh,” Cooper said, noticing Lila and Billy. He pointed at me. “Yours?”

  “Yes,” Lila and I said in
unison.

  “Nice,” he said, keeping along his way.

  “Is he always like that?” Lila asked.

  “Yes,” Camilla and I said in the same instant.

  “Who’s this then?” Chris asked, appearing from the boardroom.

  “Hi, I’m Lila,” she said, extending a hand.

  “Charmed,” he said, taking it.

  “And this is our son, Billy,” I added, beaming with pride.

  “Well, fancy that,” Chris said, considering the information.

  Despite the initial surprise, everyone loved Billy, and Lila seemed to get along well with everyone, which was a relief. Pathetic as it may seem, my colleagues were the closet thing to friends I’d had in quite a while.

  We went back to the boardroom, where the meeting table was being used for a buffet. I put the pie down with the desserts and went to get some plates full for Lila and me, also getting some creamy mac and cheese for Billy.

  Lila had set Billy down on the floor, letting him explore. What he found was Camilla, who had recently given birth herself. Reaching down, she scooped him up like a pro, making Billy giggle with delight. After playing with him for a bit, Camilla returned Billy to the couch we had staked out, and Lila set about spoon-feeding him the rapidly cooling mac and cheese, which was probably a good thing.

  “What do you think?” I asked.

  “I can see why you look forward to work,” Lila said.

  “It is the best.”

  “So, I’ve heard. I was here to hire you guys after all.”

  I nodded, remembering her fainting. “Yeah, I figured. Are you still interested in that?” I asked.

  “Um, yeah, I suppose. I kind of forgot about it.”

  “There has been a lot going on,” I said.

  “I suppose you would be the person to talk to?” Lila asked.

  “To begin with, yeah. We try to keep our clients well informed at every step. You are going to need text first, and for that, I’m your guy.”

  “Okay.”

  “Great, what are you looking for?” I asked, getting out my Moleskine and pen.