It would've been easier to say We have shit to do, but Caleb would understand. Emotional crap aside, they had bigger issues to deal with than their failed relationship.
He stood and held out his hand to help her to her feet. Standing awkwardly beside him, she strapped on her snowshoes while he shoved his hands deep into his pockets.
"I'm giving you a pass, Cat, but don't think for a minute this is over between us."
"Over?" She bent to secure her snowshoes and twisted to face him. “That's the thing, it is over. There is no us, and stop calling me Cat. My name is Caitlyn. Use it.” With those damning words, she trudged back down toward the cave.
Behind her, Caleb muttered. "You're wrong, Cat. There’s always an us.”
She didn't stop to correct him. He could think what he wanted. Her mind was made up, and she would beat her traitorous heart into submission if she had to. Caleb was all kinds of wrong. They had no future.
To her surprise, although it shouldn't have come as one, stacks of firewood lined the path back. He may have come after her, concerned about her safety, but he hadn't lost sight of their most pressing need. She stopped at the first pile and picked up half the sticks. Caleb hiked behind her and gathered the rest into his arms.
They hiked back to the cave in silence. She stopped picking up wood when she could no longer carry anymore. One of them would have to head back out for the rest, and since she was going to work on the windscreen that meant Caleb would have to go.
They may be trapped inside the cave for the night, but she vowed to spend as little time as possible alone with him.
Chapter 10
Caleb
Undeterred by her chilly reception, Caleb forged ahead with his plan to win Caitlyn back. That would be a monumental undertaking, because glaciers would thaw before Caitlyn forgave him.
On the hike back to the cave, he picked up the rest of the firewood she left behind, but a grin tugged at his lips. Challenges excited him, and he made some progress.
She could have walked past his stacks of firewood, but she bent at each one, taking half, before heading on. She may not realize what that meant, but he did.
They were a team.
Always had been, despite him walking out on her. With enough persistence, he would break through, heal some of the damage he caused, and hopefully forge a path forward. Caitlyn was the girl of his dreams and the woman who belonged in his forever. He made a mistake. It happened. And he would spend the rest of his life rectifying it.
Bigger and stronger than her smaller frame, her arms filled with firewood before his. Caitlyn trudged ahead while he piled more wood into his arms. Once they hit the cave, there was no need for words. She thought she was ignoring him, giving him the cold shoulder as it were, but the truth was far different. Every movement she made telegraphed her body’s reaction to him. She knew exactly where he was and shifted to avoid a casual glance, or the unthinkable touch. Her attention couldn’t be more keyed in on everything about him.
The only question was how he could use that to his advantage. With Caitlyn, a direct attack ensured certain failure. He would need to come at her obliquely and give her space, even if it killed him to do so.
They divided their labor without speaking. He headed back to collect the rest of the firewood, while she checked on Bear and fed the fire. He had no doubt she would have that windbreak finished before he returned. If not, he would help whether she wanted it or not. She wouldn’t refuse. Their situation wasn’t dangerous, but there were still matters of survival to attend to. Her pride, and anger, would never stand in the way of what was right.
Fortunately, they both brought provisions in their packs. Dinner was taken care of. A cold, hungry night would be that much harder to endure. Two trips later, he had a formidable stack of wood prepped for the night. While Caitlyn tied a latticework of limbs together, he showed Jen how to add wood to the fire without smothering it. The girl was entirely too eager to burn them down.
He also pulled out their rations for the evening and divided them for everyone. He hand-fed the injured dog until Bear chomped down the last bite while Caitlyn built her contraption of branches, sticks, and pine boughs.
Twice, he almost went to help but held back the urge. She needed space and room to work out her anger. Better she did that on those sticks than on him. They had a long night ahead of themselves, crammed together in a cave big enough for two eager teenagers, but cramped with four adults.
On the far wall of the cave, the carving he had made of their initials appeared as fresh as the day he'd carved it. Drunk on young love, they thought little of their futures, or the choices which would pull them apart. He missed the simplicity of those times. All they had to worry about was studying for exams, writing English papers, and spending endless weekends exploring the mountains.
Bear lifted his paw and placed it on Caleb's knee. He took the furry paw and scratched at Bear's forearm. Bear's soulful eyes melted Caleb’s heart as he moaned with pain. The dog whimpered and Caleb stroked his uninjured shoulder and ran his hands up and down Bear’s leg.
"You like that?" He rubbed Bear's foreleg and massaged between his toes. The dog's eyes closed with contentment, finding a measure of peace in the touch.
"Be careful.” Caitlyn came up behind him and took a seat. “He’ll never leave you alone."
He smiled, feeling something of the connection they'd shared years ago. Her hair fell over her shoulder and the light floral scent of her perfume filled his senses. He wanted to reach out, coil a length of her hair around his finger, and draw her into a kiss. He’d done that more times than he could remember. In this cave; around a fire much like the one burning now. It had been just them. And it had been wonderful.
A fleeting moment, the memory disappeared as she checked on Bear's injuries. Tension lined her face and she bit at her lower lip with concern. That was an emotion he wasn’t used to seeing on her face.
Caitlyn loved life and found joy in everything around her. Even when he broke his arm jumping his bike in a vain attempt to impress her, a beautiful light filled her soul. Despite her concern for him, she kept the mood upbeat and his mind off the incredible pain. They had to hike back to town, and she kept him moving forward as she pushed his fear away with her hopes and dreams.
He loved that about her. Her happiness. Her positive outlook. Her indomitable belief that only good existed in the world. He knew better. Perhaps he’d seen it then, the cracks in the world where evil lurked. A part of him needed to face that evil, if only to drive it out of the world for good. His need to make Caitlyn’s vision come true grew within him each and every day.
It was one of the reasons he left. The fragile boy within him wasn’t strong enough to fight the demons who threatened Caitlyn’s perfect world. He needed to become the man she needed. To do that, he had to leave Bear Creek. He had to leave her.
It made sense at the time.
It never occurred to him how that would break her heart. His father always said young love was foolish love, and that if he truly loved his high school sweetheart, he would give them both time to grow.
If the love was true, it would last.
He respected his dad and followed his father’s advice, because he felt the unbreakable bond between him and his girl. The only problem was the woman who sat beside him didn’t feel the same about that choice.
He rubbed her dog’s ear. "I never knew you kept him." Getting a dog had been his idea.
"What was I going to do? Leave him behind because you walked out on me?” Her disgust speared him in the heart. “That’s not my style, Caleb.”
That hurt.
Of course, she would never have left Bear behind. That was on him.
He had been the one to convince Caitlyn they needed a big bear of a dog to run with them in the mountains, never once thinking she'd do anything about it. Christmas their senior year, she'd given him a present.
A Newfoundland in the neighboring town of Peace Springs had puppies, and
she finagled the choice of the litter. They went down the day before classes resumed to pick out Bear. At the time, their future couldn't have been more crystal clear. By the time Bear was old enough to be weaned—the day they were going to bring him home—Valentine's Day had come and gone.
The ring Caitlyn had been expecting failed to materialize as Caleb felt trapped by what seemed to be the perfect future. Choices were made. Decisions finalized. Hearts were broken. The day after graduation, he boarded a bus, marched toward his destiny, and walked out of her life.
Thinking about that now, while he stared into the warmth of Caitlyn's eyes, he wondered if he made the wrong choice.
"Well, I'm glad you did keep him." He cradled Bear's head in his lap and ran his hands through Bear's thick coat. "He's more than I ever thought he would be, fierce, loyal..."
“Totally spoiled." Caitlyn gave Bear a hug. "And brave! You fought off that horrible mountain lion too. You're the bravest of the brave." She snuggled against Bear, showering her affection on the dog rather than Caleb, but he supposed Bear earned that honor.
Careful not to jostle Bear too much, Caitlyn took special care with his injuries.
"I know it's early," he said, "but the sun is down and dinner's been served."
Jen and Sally had eaten, Bear too. His and Caitlyn's dinner had been set to the side. He wouldn't eat until he knew Caitlyn had her fill. It had been a trying twenty-four hours for her and he wanted to make sure she had what she needed. He could go without.
She glanced at the handkerchief with their meal laid out.
"Have you eaten?" she asked.
He shook his head. "Not yet, but I'm not hungry."
Caitlyn made a dramatic eye-roll. "Oh, please, a big guy like you after a day hiking in the mountains. You have to be starving."
"I have an MRE in my pack. I'll be fine."
The spread he laid out for their dinner was a combination of sausages, cheeses, and hard bread. His mother understood MREs but had slipped in the surprise into his backpack when he wasn't looking. He shared some of it with Jen and Sally but saved the largest portion for Caitlyn.
She glanced at the food. "That has all the signs of your mother taking care of her boy. I'm surprised there's not a pie in the bottom of your bag."
He huffed a laugh, happy Caitlyn chose to finally expand her one- and two-word vocabulary. That might actually have counted as a conversation. She better watch out, or she would forget she was supposed to hate him.
"Don't think I didn't look. Sadly, no pie, but there are some biscuits I’m saving for breakfast."
"Hopefully, we won't be needing that." Caitlyn grabbed a log and added it to the fire. Before she took any of the food, she gestured to the girls. "Do either of you want anything else to eat?"
Sally gave a thin smile. "I'm good. I can't thank you enough for everything.”
"Stop," Caitlyn said. "You'd do the same for us, and you're not home yet. We still have a long day ahead of us."
Jen looked at the handkerchief, and for a minute Caleb thought she would take more than her share. Fortunately, the girl shook her head. She pulled her knees up to her chest and stared into the fire.
"How is it going to work?" Jen asked.
Caitlyn bit into a sausage and her eyes closed as she savored his mother's famous recipe. He understood that look. His mother's cooking was to die for.
While she chewed, he jumped in to answer Jen's question.
"We break camp at first light and head back to the river. Then we’ll work our way to where we left our snowmobiles. I'm not going to lie, it's going to be as difficult, if not harder, than our hike up, but the snowmobiles can't get here."
"Oh." Jen rocked back. "I was going to ask about that. What about Sally? She can't hike back down."
He pointed to the windbreak Caitlyn had built. "Going down will be easier than our hike up. We'll make a travois.”
"A what?" Jen interrupted.
"A travois," he said. “It’s a sled we’ll pull behind us.”
"Oh?"
"Wait," Sally said with a squeak. "You're going to put me on a sled?"
"You'll be fine." Caitlyn finished her sausage and had moved on to the cheese and crackers. "It's much better than trying to walk down with a broken ankle. Trust me, I’ve done it a thousand times. You’re in good hands.”
Sally looked to Bear. "What about him? He needs a sled more than me. I’ll manage…somehow.“
"We'll make two travois,” Caleb said. "I'll take Bear down, while Caitlyn and Jen help you. Once we're back at the creek, I'm hoping our reinforcements will arrive. Don’t worry about anything."
"More help?" Jen's eyes brightened with that.
"Yes," Caitlyn said. "I was able to radio back. We'll have plenty of help in the morning, but for now, we need to rest and save our strength. I suggest you both get some sleep. Caleb and I will take turns on watch.”
"Are you worried about more mountain lions?” Jen asked.
“Bears and wolves are more of a concern, especially with fresh snowfall,” Caitlyn explained. “They’ll be looking for shelter as well. Don't worry. The fire will keep them away. Just in case, we'll keep an eye out." She turned to him. "Flip for the first watch?"
And just like that, he was transported back to another day, years ago, when he and Caitlyn first found this cave.
The day started bright and they explored off their usual paths. Caitlyn had them stop by a ring of trees while they ate lunch. Clouds rushed in from the west and darkened the skies.
Too far to head home, they sought shelter after the first peals of thunder ripped across the sky. She had been the one who spied the dark crack among the face of the cliff. They left their bikes behind and scrambled up the hill as the first fat drops fell.
More thunder rumbled as the storm moved in. When they found the cave, they stood outside, worried about what critters might be inside, but a bolt of lightning with its concussive boom drove them inside.
They spent the afternoon there, staring out at the rain, giggling and laughing with the adventure of it all. After that day, the cave became a regular hangout, a place of seclusion from the rest of the world and a place uniquely theirs.
The first night they decided to camp in the cave, they had gathered wood and made a fire. Caitlyn warned about animals seeking refuge after dark and they flipped for who would take the first watch. Not that they slept a wink. Spending the night in their secret cave brought mystery and thrills to the young preteens. They stayed up the whole night telling ghost stories and dreaming about the future. Caitlyn’s dad said nothing about the two of them staying out late at night. That conversation came a few years later when the friendship of children bloomed into an undeniable romance.
All her father had said, as he oiled the barrel of his shotgun, was Don’t hurt my girl, boy, and we’ll be square. You feel what I’m saying?
Caleb gulped against the lump in his throat and answered a very sincere Yes, Sir!
If only things were as simple now as they had been back then.
If only he’d kept his promise to her dad.
Chapter 11
Caitlyn
Caleb took the first watch, which left Caitlyn to sit with the girls while they settled in for the night. They didn’t talk much. Exhaustion pulled at Jen and Sally. The relative safety of the cave finally allowed them to relax. Soon, yawns pulled them down to their hard beds.
The fire roared, filling the cave with its crackles and pops as flames devoured the wood. Smoke curled upward, gathered on the slant of the cave’s ceiling and rolled up to escape to the outside. It was one of the many things which made this cave the perfect place.
It had been a magical place once. A space which belonged solely to her and Caleb. They never told their friends about it. An unspoken agreement between the two of them after that first night they sheltered in here from a storm. Having something uniquely theirs made her believe their love was a magical thing.
But that’s what girls did. Th
ey believed in fantasies that weren’t true. Love blinded them to what happened in the real world. The real world wasn’t nearly as forgiving as a little girl’s dreams.
Bear thumped his tail, snoozing fitfully. He tried getting up once, but Caitlyn forced him to stay still, worried about him reopening his wounds if he moved too much. She slept beside him, one arm wrapped around his shoulder as she snuggled against his warmth.
When Caleb gently nudged her awake for her turn at the watch, he helped her take Bear outside to relieve himself. Caleb tried coaxing Bear back inside to lay near the fire, but the lovable mutt whined and refused to leave Caitlyn’s side. She sat the rest of the night with Bear, watching the snow fall and thinking about anything other than Caleb.
In the predawn twilight, she got to work and turned her windscreen into a makeshift sled for the hike out. Caleb woke early and built a much sturdier, second sled. She admired his skill, taking note that he had learned a thing or two since he left their small town. Not that it should surprise her. Impossible to know from looking at his casual, understated nature, he’d been trained by the best of the best to endure the worst possible conditions. To survive. And to kill.
She had no illusions about what he did for a job. In the Marines, he’d been a scout sniper. There was so little known about Delta operatives. Who knew what he did for them, except her tender teenage lover was now a trained killer. His body had filled out, built for the grueling tasks such a job would bring to a man like him.
His shoulders were broader. His chest wider. His legs supported his powerful frame and she couldn’t keep her eyes off the flex of his biceps. She bet there wasn’t an ounce of extra fat on him.
She bit at her lower lip and struggled not to let daydreams carry her away.
They had their chance.
They lost it.
Her life might not be perfect, but she was content. She struggled to remind herself of that fact as Caleb labored over his sled. They worked side-by-side in silence. It felt almost normal, except for the oppressive weight of unspoken issues between them. Perhaps, she needed to let all of that go?
Caleb: Military Heroes (The One I Want Series Book 3) Page 8