She resolved to be kinder to Caleb and less judgmental. Holding onto seven-year-old anger did neither of them any favors.
It was time to forgive and move on.
He seemed happy, and she wanted to hear about his travels and know something of the life he had made for himself. She wanted to be happy for him, and share what she could. His dream had been to see the world, and the Marines gave him that opportunity. Who was she to make him feel bad about pursuing his dreams? A friend wouldn’t do that, and she’d rather keep Caleb as a friend than lose him because she was too selfish to forgive. She walked over to where he worked and bent down to hold two cross pieces of wood for him.
“Looks solid.” She tested the corners of the makeshift sled he had nearly completed.
“Yours looks sturdier.” He gave a nod to the travois she had made.
He was being nice, but hers was sturdy and she had years of practice.
“I can’t tell you the number of times my dad had me make a sled on the fly.”
On her ninth birthday, her father took her hunting for the first time. They packed light and carried only the essentials. When she shot her first deer, he showed her how to build a travois to drag the deer out. They hunted every year and filled their freezers with enough meat to keep them through the summer. Building a sled came easily. She could do it blindfolded.
“I’m sorry about your dad.” He placed his hand over hers.
Instead of jerking away, she allowed the contact, loving how the warmth of his hand traveled up her arm.
“Thanks.” She slowly withdrew, because that simple touch would be her undoing. She couldn’t help but want the impossible.
“We should probably get going,” she said. “It’s going to take a hot minute to get everyone to the creek.”
He gave a low chuckle. “I’ve missed that.”
“What?”
“Hot minute. It’s not something I hear often. I guess I miss a lot of things.” He took a moment and just stared at her.
“Oh.” Her cheeks heated and she glanced down, not wanting him to see how something as simple as his undivided attention affected her. It would be nice if she could control the flush rising in her cheeks.
“I missed you.” He pressed his finger under her chin and lifted her face.
She could never hide from him.
“If you missed me, you would’ve written.” She pressed her lips together to keep from saying something she’d regret. There was simply too much hurt. It was best not to speak at all.
“I’m sorry, Cat.” He drew in a deep breath and blew it out far too slow. “Not that I expect you to forgive me, but it was easier to look forward than back.”
“I get it.” She peered into the darkness of the cave. There was no reason to get the girls up early. Actually, the longer they delayed the better. It would allow the sheriff and his men more time to meet them on the way back to the snowmobiles. More help would make things easier.
If Bear wasn’t injured, and if Sally didn’t have that broken ankle, Caitlyn would’ve been happy to stay at the cave and wait. However, it was best to get going and get everyone to medical care. For Bear, that would mean the hour’s long drive into Peace Springs.
When she spun away, he gripped her arm, tugging her close.
“Caleb,” she said, “let go.”
“No.” His voice deepened with a rawness felt more than heard. “I said it was easier, not that it was right. I was an ass, and you didn’t deserve that. I’m sorry.”
He held her close, too close, and she breathed him in, remembering far too many moments like this. It made her want more of them, but that wasn’t possible. She tugged free from Caleb’s influence and stepped away. Distance was good. Distance kept her body from feeling things her heart couldn’t handle.
“It doesn’t really matter, does it? You did what you needed to do, and I did the same. Life went on, and I’m happy.” She got used to it. There was no happiness. “Our dreams aren’t the same, and it was wrong to ever think they could be. I’m sorry for being a bitch to you last night, but the last person I expected to see on the mountain was you. You hurt me. I lashed out. What we had was a long time ago. It’s over between us like that, but it doesn’t mean I can’t be civil to you.”
“Is that so? You think it’s over? Because the air is crackling with electricity between us. It has from the moment I saw you. Tell me you don’t feel it? Tell me you’re not thinking about it.”
“There is no It, Caleb. Just like there’s no Us. What you feel are the echoes of a high school crush and two kids too stupid to know the difference between that and love. Those days are behind us.”
“Are they?”
She cocked her head, thinking about a future with him, knowing there wasn’t one that didn’t end in heartbreak.
“Do you like the Marines?”
“Yes, of course.” His eyes lit with fire and purpose. “It’s everything I ever wanted.”
“That’s great.” She took a step back and watched his brows tug together. “I’m very happy for you, and I’m happy here. I have everything I want…here, in Bear Creek.”
“Do you?”
As long as he wasn’t around, she did. With the Marines taking him to all corners of the world, she could pretend he didn’t exist. She wished she could go with him, but echoes of her past whispered of the dangers which came from leaving home.
Some scars never healed. Some might think it strange how she clung to this place. It wasn’t so much that Bear Creek was home as that the outside world was too dangerous. She liked her safe bubble. She loved her small town. And there was absolutely nothing, and no one, who would make her think otherwise.
“I do.” She tried sounding confident but wound up sounding weak and uncertain. She straightened and rolled her shoulders back. “I don’t need you complicating things.”
She gave a sharp nod, coming to a decision. Cut the cord. Rip the Band-Aid off. There were any number of pertinent sayings which fit the bill, and they all came down to the same thing.
“I think it’s best we never see each other again.”
“There’s no way that’s happening.” He took a step toward her and she retreated. He stopped when he realized she was serious.
“I mean it, Caleb. I can’t do the friend thing, and frankly, I don’t want to.” She needed to move on, find the love of her life, settle down, have kids, and find happiness. It was time to patch the hole in her heart Caleb left behind.
“What if that’s not what I want?” He looked serious, but he would never leave the Marines, and she would never ask him to. She would also never brave the outside world to join him on his adventure. Not after what happened to her mother.
Resentment would pick apart whatever they tried to create until they both wound up dissatisfied and unhappy. She didn’t want that, not for him, and definitely not for herself.
“This isn’t the best time to be have this talk.” She gestured to the cave. “We need to break camp and at least try to get to the creek. Sally and Bear both need to get off the mountain sooner rather than later. This…” She made a vague gesture between them. “It can wait.”
“Okay, it’ll wait, but don’t think for a second this conversation is over.”
“But that’s the thing,” she said. “It is over. We’re over, and we’ll both be happier as a result. It’s been years without anything. Best not to change that. I appreciate all your help. I really do, and you were wonderful with Bear. If you hadn’t come along…” She wiped at her cheek, angry to find tears, and continued. “Look, I appreciate everything, but I don’t want to do this.”
“What are you saying?”
“I want you to leave me alone. Walk away, Caleb. There’s nothing here for you.”
“You know I can’t do that. Shit, Cat, I won’t do that.”
“If you ever loved me, if you ever cared for me at all, then that’s what I need. I don’t want you in my life. It’s too painful.”
Chapter
12
Caleb
After talking to Caitlyn outside the cave, Caleb felt like he’d been kicked in the nuts. His insides twisted and he could barely breathe past the sourness which filled his mouth.
She wanted him out of her life? How was that possible? He had to fix this, but how?
More time was an easy answer. He would simply find a way to spend more time with her until she changed her mind. He had thirty days to convince her otherwise.
The girls stirred in the cave, and Caitlyn disappeared inside to pack up their gear. He followed and kicked apart the embers of their fire.
With a little maneuvering, they settled Sally on one of the sleds and got Bear situated on the one Caleb would pull. Unlike Sally, the dog had more experience sitting still. He flopped down on the latticework of branches and trusted them to take him safely where he needed to go. It took forever to convince Sally that her weight would be best distributed if she lay flat and let him do all the work. Jen was pretty useless and he didn’t bother asking her to help.
Once they had everything set, Caitlyn led their little procession. Much easier than hiking up to the cave, they made it down to the creek in half the time it had taken them to get to the cave. Now, they had to reverse the process, hiking up another incline to the snowmobiles. This was less steep, but twice as long. Fortunately, halfway up, the growling of snowmobiles heralded the arrival of more help.
Bob Jenkins and Jerry Altman scrambled down the hill. Bob helped Caitlyn while Jerry came to assist Caleb. They made much quicker progress and finally made it to the snowmobiles. No longer needing the makeshift sleds, they placed Sally behind Bob. Jen rode with Jerry, and Caleb set about digging his and Caitlyn’s snowmobiles out of nearly a foot of freshly fallen snow. Jerry helped Caitlyn move Bear onto the travois behind her snowmobile. Once everyone was set, they headed off the mountain.
Sheriff Johnson met them at the head of the trail. An ambulance waited to take the girls the hour-long ride into Peace Springs where the new town doc waited for them. The girls gave Caitlyn a hug. Jen even gave Bear a squeeze, being careful of his injuries. They waved to Caleb as he came to stand beside Caitlyn.
“You did good, Cat. Those girls made it out because of you.” He wanted to wrap his arm around her shoulders but sensed this wasn’t the time. Not to mention he wouldn’t survive the rejection.
“It would’ve been a different story if you hadn’t been there to take care of that mountain lion.” Her admission surprised him.
They’d have to report the kill to Fish and Wildlife, but Sheriff Johnson would take care of that. Caleb already spoke to him about it, as well as his plans to help Caitlyn with Bear.
“We need to get Bear to the vet.” He wasn’t leaving Caitlyn’s side, at least not until he figured out the next step. There had to be a forever for them somewhere. He just had to figure it out.
“We?” She twisted around and propped her fists on her hips. “I’ll take Bear to Peace Springs. No need for you to go. I think this is where we say goodbye.”
“Nonsense. The roads aren’t safe. I’ve got my Jeep and there’s no way you’re driving alone. Not after spending two nights in the mountains with barely any rest.”
“I’m a big girl, Caleb. I can take care of myself.”
“And I can take care of you.” Caitlyn had a hard head and an independent streak a mile wide. Arguing served no purpose. Good thing he wasn’t against using brute force.
She shook her head. “You lost that privilege years ago.” The muscles of her jaw bunched. The girl was getting ready to dig in. Time to take charge and do what he wanted.
“Up to you, Cat. We can stand around and argue, or you can accept the help and let me drive. Sit in the back if you don’t want to talk to me, but I’m driving and that’s that.”
Her eyes narrowed to thin slits. He could see the gears spinning in her head. She wanted to argue, but she cared more about Bear. He wished those feelings were for him, but he’d take the support Bear unwittingly gave.
A smart girl, Caitlyn understood the dangers of the wintery roads, especially before the plows cleared them. Nestled against the foothills, Bear Creek was usually the last town to see the plows. That worked to his advantage. Without waiting for her to make up her mind, he and Jerry Altman placed Bear in the back seat of his Jeep.
“You coming?” He hopped into the driver’s seat and turned on the engine.
He said she could sit in back with Bear, but the huge dog took up the entire back bench. With an audible huff, Caitlyn grabbed her things and climbed into the passenger seat. Just like that, he had his girl by his side.
Normally an hour’s drive from Bear Creek, they were two hours into their drive and still not quite halfway there. Deep snow bogged down the roads. Caitlyn rewarded his good deed with stoic silence, but he determined to crack through her tough exterior with the unexpected.
He would use simple conversation.
“What happened to your father’s ranch?”
He couldn’t imagine she would keep the ranch after her father’s passing. Technically Rowdy Range belonged in the town limits of Peace Springs, but it butted up next to Bear Creek. Caitlyn’s mother loved the mountains and her father made a home in Bear Creek instead of the larger town of Peace Springs. If it hadn’t of been for her mother’s love of the mountains, he may never have met Caitlyn at all.
“It’s doing well, actually.” She fiddled with the radio for the tenth time, but the storm wrecked their reception.
“Did you sell it?”
She shook her head. “I thought about it, but a few years before he died, my dad hired a manager for the ranch. I couldn’t bear the thought of selling it.”
“I guess that makes you a rancher.” He kept his tone light and teasing, trying to ease the tension between them.
“I guess so.”
“Why didn’t you move to the ranch after your dad died?”
That ranch had been in Caitlyn’s family for generations. He could understand not wanting to hand over the land, but the cattle operation was another thing. She could easily lease out the land.
“It didn’t seem right. Besides, I couldn’t see leaving Bear Creek. Dad was already pulling back from management of the ranch before you left. It was an easy thing to keep Drake on to take care of things.”
“And you trust this guy?”
“Of course.” She almost sounded offended. “He’s been great. He even helps Bert out with his llama ranch.”
A grin filled his face remembering the summers he spent at Bert’s llama ranch. It had been the hardest work of his life, and that was saying something for a Delta Team operative. Llamas were angry creatures. They spit and charged with little provocation.
“I trust Drake. You’d like him. He’s ex-military, special ops I think.”
“What branch?” There were lots of special ops in the military.
She shrugged. “Maybe Army? Green Beret? I’m not sure, but he’s good people. You’ll probably get a chance to meet him. The two of you can talk military stuff.”
Military stuff. Every time she mentioned the military, she twitched.
Caleb got little more from Caitlyn over the next hour. As they headed away from the mountains, less snow packed the roads and travel became easier.
The only words Caitlyn spoke were on her phone.
"You're kidding? He's not there?" She paused to listen to whoever was on the other end. "What am I supposed to do now?"
"What's wrong?" he asked.
She gave a swift shake of her head and turned away.
"Abby? She would do that for me?" Caitlyn pressed her hand to her cheek and stared out the side window. "Well, I guess it'll have to do...No...Thanks...Please tell her thank you…We're about twenty minutes out." She flicked off her phone and cupped it in her hands.
"What's wrong?" He demanded, upset by her distress.
"The vet isn't in town. Had to go out on a call."
"Okay, we can keep on—"
&nbs
p; "No need. Abby is going to take a look at Bear."
"Who's Abby?"
“The new town doc. Moved here a few years ago and took over her uncle's practice."
"You mean, like a human doc? For Bear?"
She gave a tight nod.
"You sure about that?"
"It's another hour to the city.”
"Bear's been waiting longer than that, another hour isn’t going to make a difference.”
She twisted her fingers in her lap. "Draven doesn't charge what a city vet does, and this isn't a well dog checkup with shots."
"If it's about the money—“
She held up a hand. "Stop."
"Stop what?"
"You don't get to come here, swoop in, and take care of things. I've got this."
"No, you don't. Bear needs a real vet, not a people doc."
"Abby is amazing. I'm pretty sure she can stitch him up."
"There's more to it than stitching and you know it."
"No, there isn’t. If his injuries were worse, he wouldn't still be with us." Her voice choked up with that comment and he realized he pushed too hard. “Abby can take care of his wounds and give him any antibiotics he needs. If there’s something she can’t handle, she’ll let me know.”
“And then we go to the city?”
“I don’t want to go there.”
“Cat…” He understood her reluctance and the deep-seated fear which kept her close to Bear Creek.
“Don’t say it.” She lifted her finger and shook it at him.
This wasn’t an argument he would win, so he gave it up; at least for the moment. That could all change based on what this Abby had to say.
"I'm sorry." Best to apologize and get that over with.
At least, she was talking again, even if they were headed into another argument. It didn't make sense for Bear to see a human doc when a perfectly good animal hospital was a little more than an hour away, but Caitlyn wouldn’t budge.
"Don't be,” she grumbled.
Caleb: Military Heroes (The One I Want Series Book 3) Page 9