Caleb: Military Heroes (The One I Want Series Book 3)

by Ellie Masters

  Drake laughed. “I hope we don’t spoil him too much.”

  Caleb relaxed and chewed on his steak while the three of them talked about Bear. With his guts tied in knots over Caitlyn, it should’ve been difficult getting everything down, but the steak Drake cooked was amazing, and Caleb’s appetite slowly improved.

  Abby pushed her plate away and folded her napkin. “Caleb, how’s your mother getting along?”

  He looked up, surprised by her question. “She’s doing well, I suppose. I only stopped in for a moment before I left to help search for the girls. How are Jen and Sally doing?”

  “They were happy to be off that mountain. They were exhausted and I set Sally’s ankle. She’s going to need an orthopedist to look at it, so I sent them to Billings. They were very appreciative of the two of you.”

  “Well, Caitlyn deserves all the credit. She found the girls and got them through the night.”

  “I didn’t do it alone. You helped.” Those were the first words Caitlyn said to him since sitting down.

  “Well, from what the girls told me,” Abby continued, “you two were amazing, keeping them safe through that storm and getting them out. Sally couldn’t stop talking about it.”

  “I’m glad everything turned out well for the girls.” He pushed his plate away. “And, I’m happy Bear is going to be fine.”

  “Bear will be great.” Abby picked up her plate and grabbed Drake’s. “I already told Caitlyn that Draven will be here in the morning to check on him. I’ll get a couple rooms set up for you two to spend the night.”

  “Spend the night?” His attention cut to Caitlyn with thoughts of how he’d like to spend the night. Not one of them included two rooms.

  Caitlyn wasn’t quite finished, not that she made much of an attempt to eat. She kept pushing the same bite of steak around on her plate and curled her hair around her finger.

  “Of course, you don’t want to drive all the way back, and I know Caitlyn would never leave Bear. I don’t think you’ll need to stay for much longer than that.”

  With Caitlyn self-absorbed with her food, and doing her best to ignore him, he pushed back from his seat at the table.

  “Let me help with the dishes.”

  “Oh no, you’re a guest. Please just relax.”

  “And guests do the dishes.” He insisted on helping. “My ma’ would have my head if she knew I didn’t.”

  Still no response or acknowledgment from Caitlyn. He joined Abby at the sink and rolled up his sleeves to rinse the dishes.

  “I have your mother’s medicine. We can save her a trip and you can take it to her.”

  “Okay.” He didn’t understand why the pharmacist in Bear Creek didn’t have his mother’s medicine, but whatever.

  “I know the last few years have been tough. Now that she’s in remission, it’s even more important to keep her appointments in Billings. She missed the last one.”

  He dropped the dish in the sink. “What do you mean remission? Remission for what?”

  “Oh dear.” Abby looked down. “I shouldn’t have said anything. I thought you knew.”

  He’d been gone the past seven years, but he kept in touch with his mother. Caitlyn was the only one he’d left behind.

  “She never said anything. What cancer?”

  “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. I’m not supposed to discuss—”

  “Cat’s out of the bag.” His words cut and Abby flinched. “What’s going on with my mother?”

  Abby took a step back. “Here, let me finish the dishes. You need to call your mother. I really can’t discuss it with you if she hasn’t. I wouldn’t have said anything if I’d known. I was only trying to save her a trip to Peace Springs.”

  “I think I will.” He gritted his teeth and dried his hands.

  When he turned around, Caitlyn wasn’t at the table. She was probably in the Great Room sitting with Bear. They still needed to have a heart to heart. Echoes of her lips on his lingered and made his entire body ache. He shook his head, needing to dispel thoughts of Caitlyn from his mind. His mother was sick and never once said a word to him.

  Drake pointed down a hall behind him. “Office is the second door to the right. You can call in there.”

  “Thanks.”

  Torn over whether to salvage things with Caitlyn or speak to his mother, Caleb found himself hesitating.

  "Caitlyn isn’t going anywhere. Call your mom." Drake waved him toward the office.

  His feet took him toward Drake's office while his heart tugged at him to return to the Great Room and rekindle the heat that had yet to die down between him and Caitlyn. Never one to rush things, he chose to have a short conversation with his mother and save the rest for later that night, because the conversation he intended to have with Caitlyn would have nothing to do with words. He would show her with his mouth, his hands, and his adoration what she refused to embrace.

  Pulling the door shut to Drake's office, he searched the desk for a charging cord for his phone, plugged it in, then called his mother.

  "Caleb," she said, "it's so good to hear your voice. How's Caitlyn?"

  He didn't want to talk about Caitlyn, but couldn't find the words to talk about cancer.

  "She's fine. I take it you heard?"

  "Oh yes! Marge filled me in when she came over. I'm really happy to hear things are going well between you and Caitlyn. Marge said Bear was hurt?"

  "Yeah, but the doc here patched him up."

  "Oh, that's wonderful. Draven is amazing with animals. He's busy though. Needs someone to help him. I was talking to Tom about getting Dani to consider joining Draven's practice."

  "You matchmaking again?"

  "Sometimes, you kids need help. Not that you ever listen to me."

  He listened. His mother's dreams just weren't the same as his.

  "Draven's not here." He had to turn the conversation around or he would be stuck in Drake's office for the rest of the night. His mother could prattle on and on about the most mundane things. "The town doc, Abby, sewed up Bear's wounds."

  "Oh, I love that girl. Ever since she came to Peace Springs the town's been better for it. If you're with Abby, did you happen to meet Drake? You two have a lot in common. He's the one helping Caitlyn with the ranch. You should talk to him, you know, see what kind of opportunities might be there. When you get out of the Marines, you could—“

  "Ma', stop with that."

  "With what?"

  "I'm not getting out of the Marines."

  "But..."

  "Abby mentioned picking up your meds and saving you a trip."

  "Oh..." Her voice trailed off.

  "Yeah, why didn't you tell me?"

  "What did she say?"

  "It wasn't her fault. She thought a mother might tell her son she had cancer and was in remission. You never told me?"

  "I didn't want you to worry. Not when you were out saving the country."

  "You're my mother."

  "And you're my son. You think I don't know what you do, but I read. I talked to Drake about it. He said your job was intense. The last thing I wanted was for you to get shot because you were worried about something you could do nothing about. And it's all better now. I'm in remission. Do you know what that means?"

  "Yes, I know what remission means." He rubbed at the back of his neck, trying not to get short with his mother over the phone. "What kind of cancer do you have?"

  "Had." She corrected him. "That's what remission means. I'm cancer free."

  “That's not an answer."

  "Oh lord, you're not going to let this go, are you?"

  "No. I'm not. You're my mother and I need to know shit like this."

  "Don't use that language with me, young man."

  "Sorry."

  He held the phone away from his ear as she schooled him on manners and how she didn't raise him to speak to his elders with such disrespect, how he may get away with that kind of foul language at work, because of the boys he hung around with, but that she wou
ldn't tolerate it.

  Five minutes later, he still didn't know what kind of cancer his mother had, when it was diagnosed, or how long she'd been in remission. He had tons of questions, none of which were being answered. It was a good thing he had plugged in his phone. She talked his ear off for half an hour and his battery would’ve been drained.

  Finally, he interrupted her monologue using a tiny white lie. "I have to go, my phone's about to die. I'm just going to talk to Abby if that's okay with you. I have a lot of questions."

  "Oh, don't bother the poor girl."

  "Then do you mind telling me?"

  "It was a little blood cancer."

  "Like leukemia?"

  "Yeah, it’s a bunch of letters. I can't remember what they are."

  "When did this happen?"

  "About six years ago."

  “A year after I left? And you didn't think I needed to know?"

  "You just left on your first deployment to the desert, and no, I didn't think you needed to know. You needed to focus on not getting shot, not your mom. I did chemo and I got better. No harm. No foul.“

  “Did you seriously just say that to me? No harm? No foul? I could've been there for you."

  "And give up on your dreams? Son, Bear Creek isn't big enough for you. I knew that, even poor Caitlyn knows it. I never would've asked you to give any of that up. I love you too much.“

  And there was that word again.

  Love.

  The same word he overhead Caitlyn using.

  There was still hope.

  Chapter 16

  Caitlyn

  Caitlyn felt Caleb’s arrival long before the confident tread of his step sounded in the Great room. She found herself overwhelmed by his powerful presence and highly conflicted about her feelings. Her heart knew what it wanted, but she knew anything between them long-term was impossible.

  Abby curled up with Drake in one of the couches facing the floor-to-ceiling windows. Night had fallen over the snow-covered fields outside their home. She sat alone, in one of the armchairs, and watched her friend thread her fingers with Drakes massive hand.

  What she wouldn’t give to have someone like that to snuggle with through the long winter nights.

  Expecting Caleb to keep his distance after their ill-fated kiss, he surprised her by plopping down in one of the armchairs next to her. His choice of seat didn’t invite snuggling, but what did she expect? She rejected him more times than was wise. Deep contemplation filled his face.

  “Caleb?”

  It took a moment before he lifted his gaze. His laser-focused intensity had been on the fire and whatever thoughts stirred in his head. She had a feeling they had nothing to do with her or anything happening between them.

  That made her cringe. Since when did she expect to be the center of a man’s attention? Especially one she kept pushing away. Regardless, he looked troubled and that bothered her enough to want to comfort him.

  He said nothing. Instead, his lips tightened and he returned his attention to the wood burning in the fire.

  “Is something wrong?” Maybe she shouldn’t press, but the instinct to comfort him couldn’t be denied.

  Another long pause followed, but then he shifted, leaning forward and placing his elbows to his knees. “Did you know?”

  “Know what?”

  “My ma’? Did you know about the cancer?”

  “I think everyone knew. We all helped as we could.”

  “You never thought to tell me?” Hurt and betrayal rang through his words.

  “I thought you knew?” She sat back, surprised by his anger.

  “You should have told me.”

  The accusation had her straightening her spine and sitting up straight. She prepared to dig in for another argument. How dare he presume she contact him after the way he left things?

  “What was I supposed to tell you?”

  “That my mother was sick. That she had cancer. That she could die. I would have…” His voice trailed off.

  “You would have done what? Come home?”

  “Maybe.”

  “You and I both know you wouldn’t, and if you had, you’d be miserable, but that’s beside the point.”

  “No, it’s not. She’s my mother. I should have been there for her. You should have told me.”

  “You have no right to be angry at me for choices your mother made. You cut me out of your life and I honored that. Don’t put that on me. Besides, how was I supposed to know she didn’t tell you? You never called me, wrote to me, talked to me.” Her voice rose with righteous anger.

  The pain in his expression had her heart lurching. She wanted to go to him and hold him, provide some sort of comfort. Instead, she didn’t move except to curl her fingers in Bear’s fur.

  Abby and Drake rose from the couch.

  Abby called out. “We’re calling it a night. Caitlyn, you know where the guest rooms are. Caleb, please make yourself at home. Help yourself to the kitchen, and if you want to feed the fire, there’s a woodpile just out back.”

  “Thanks, Abby.” Caitlyn watched them leave, knowing full well they made themselves scarce so that she and Caleb could continue their argument in private. Was this the way all their conversations would end? A nonstop argument?

  Caleb blew out his breath and leaned back in the chair. He propped his cheek on his hand.

  "This is totally fucked," he said.

  "No, it's not. Your mom is doing well. A bit weaker than before, but she's getting stronger every day. And she's extremely proud of you. I think it would've been worse if you had come home."

  "How so?"

  "Because she would've known she was the reason you didn't get to pursue your dreams." Her gut twisted. That was exactly what she had tried to do. Steal his dreams. Destroy his happiness. Perhaps she didn’t know anything about what love meant.

  His eyes pinched and he pressed his fingers over his brow. "Is that how you felt? You didn't want me to come back?"

  "Caleb..." She leaned forward and gave Bear a hug. Her pup thumped his tail and gave her a slow, lazy blink. "We can't keep going over this."

  "Until we figure it out, we're going over it. I heard what you told Abby, and that kiss..." He stared at the ceiling. "That kiss wasn't the end."

  "No. It was a goodbye."

  "I refuse to accept that."

  "Why?"

  He sat up. "Because I want it all."

  She took in a breath and blew it out, measured and slow. "You can't have it all." He couldn’t have her. He wanted to take her from her home, steal her dreams and destroy her happiness. They were the puzzle she couldn’t figure out.

  "And why not?"

  "Because I won't be a dream thief. Like your mom, I know what the Marines mean to you. You’re right, I could have called you. There were a few times I thought maybe she hadn't told you and considered it, but in the end, I didn't want to reopen old wounds. Not to mention that it wasn’t my place.“

  "And is that it?"

  The pain in his expression ripped at her heart. There wasn't much left to shred after that toe-curling kiss, but he managed to tear at her insides.

  She shrugged. "I just don't know."

  "What is it about Bear Creek that's so precious, Cat?"

  He coined her nickname and was the only one to ever call her that. Like the cave, that name belonged solely to them. It defined an intimate space no one else was allowed inside.

  "It's my home."

  "I disagree. Home is where the heart is. It's not a place. It's a feeling. It’s where you feel complete and whole. Someday, you're going to realize that. As long as I have you in my life, I know I'm home. I just don't understand why you don't feel the same about me. You say you love me, but I think you're lying. You're too afraid of stepping outside your comfort zone. You think if you leave Bear Creek the same thing that happened to your mother will happen to you, and I'm telling you it won't."

  Her mouth gaped. "That's a low blow, even for you. How dare you bring up my mo
ther?"

  "Because you never moved past it. What happened to her was an accident."

  "It wasn't an accident!"

  The story behind her mother's death had nothing to do with fear over leaving Bear Creek. That threat had been neutralized by the Federal Marshalls responsible for her mother’s protection. The same Federal Marshalls who failed in their duty to keep her mother safe.

  There was no hit out on Caitlyn, and her father assured her from an early age that those responsible had been dealt with. But, it didn't change the fact that her mother had been alive and safe when she was hidden away in Bear Creek. It was only when her mother traveled outside of Bear Creek to testify that everything changed.

  It wasn't something Caitlyn talked about, and no one in Bear Creek knew the truth except for two people; her father and Caleb. Telling him had been against the rules, but they shared many things in that cave over the years.

  She twisted away, putting her back to Caleb as much as she could without disturbing Bear. Uncomfortable facing the truth, his words cut deep and exposed the root of her fears. She hated him for it. She hated him because he knew her so well.

  He tilted his head back and stared at the exposed beams overhead. After several minutes of silence, he stood. The movement took her off-guard and she jerked with surprise.

  “It’s getting late. We should take Bear outside so he can pee.” He stretched out a hand, offering to pull her up from the floor. Tentatively, she took it, because deep down she missed his touch. She missed so much about Caleb.

  Together, they got Bear up. Her pup moaned and didn’t want to move, but Caleb was right. It was time for bed. The last thing she wanted was to have to take Bear out in the middle of the night, or deal with an accident in Abby’s home.

  With Caleb’s help, they got Bear outside to do his business. When they returned, Caleb broke apart the fire in the hearth. The main log still smoldered and would continue to provide heat to the house through the night.

  “Where’s the bedroom?” Caleb glanced down one of the two halls leading out of the room. It didn’t pass her notice how he asked about one room rather than two. She guided Bear down the hall and stopped at the first, and smaller, of the two guest rooms.