Paragons of Ether

by Ryan Muree

  “I have to ask,” Mack said. “What did you think was going to happen?”

  Adalai looked over at him and found him and Clove staring at her. “What do you mean?”

  “What did you think was going to happen when you exploded your way into the arena?” he asked.

  She dropped her focus to her lap, away from their gazes. “I… wanted to save the Zephyrs, stop the tournament, and let everyone know the REV are ready to fight for them.”

  Cayn smiled at her, and Emeryss did, too. There was even the tiniest nod from Clove, but she was probably mistaken.

  “It’s bad that he’s blaming us for the king’s death,” Cayn said. “There’s no way to prove it wasn’t us.”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Adalai said. “Someone tell Koy—”

  “Koy is in hiding,” Cayn whispered. “They started grabbing people out on Glint.”

  Adalai’s heart stopped. Glint? Already?

  “We can’t reach him or Worn,” Cayn said. “Assuming they’re still alive.”

  Assuming they were still alive? Koy and Worn could be dead, and she’d never even know.

  Adalai swallowed and squeezed her hands into fists. She burned. She burned from the tip of her toes to the top of her head. She wanted to slaughter Orr, decimate him, make him disappear forever, erase everything he’d ever told her, ever promised her, remove his stain on their people…

  He’d been so cruel. He’d kept her under his thumb, watched her every move, beaten her down and screamed at her when she wasn’t understanding his orders.

  But he’d also laughed sometimes. He’d also sneaked her extra food. He’d given her the Zephyrs and their ship. He’d given her exemptions and some of the better orders. He’d gotten her off of the streets…

  She rubbed her aching skull. How could someone capable of doing good things also do such horrific things? How could he bomb his city and kill his own people?

  Had she misjudged him that badly? How could she have ever thought he was this great leader that she should look up to?

  Or was it possible he was both—great and terrible?

  He’d done so much to her, how could she kill him so easily when he’d done so much for her, too? Was a good man underneath all the cruelty and lies?

  Her heart still cared about him, and she hated that. She hated it so much.

  He’d been like a father. Or she’d thought he was. Was that man somewhere in there, too? And what made him so terrible in the first place? At what point had he become so horrible, so evil, that darkness had won out? He’d seen the potential in her. She’d hoped there was potential in him, but if there wasn’t, if there wasn’t even a tiny glimmer of something good, she’d have to kill him.

  “Adalai?” Emeryss reached out and put a hand on her arm. “Talk.”

  Adalai bit her lip. “So much for destiny, right? So much for being destined to be a great general and leading a great country.”

  Clove crossed her arms but didn’t say a word.

  Emeryss closed her eyes. “There is no destiny. There is no fate.”

  “How do you know that?” she asked.

  “Because…” She rubbed her own arms for warmth. “I completed the Ori’dhai. I met the Goddess.”

  Mack squinted at her. “The Goddess of Ingenuity?”

  She nodded. “Of Ingenuity, of Mercy, of Death… Yes. And there is no destiny.”

  They stared at her.

  “I guess,” Emeryss said, “this is where I tell you what I’ve been doing.”

  Emeryss recalled one of the craziest experiences Adalai had ever heard.

  Adalai had never really been sold on some holy spirit somewhere out there looking over them, but she’d wanted to hope destiny was real, something separate where great people got rewarded or something like that.

  “And She told me,” Emeryss concluded, “there was no destiny because that implies there’s an end, some final goal, some point in all this. The point is that there is no end. That Eien exists. You die, you go there, you eventually come back. Everything just keeps going.”

  Cayn and Mack voiced that they weren’t sure they could believe her story.

  “I think I get it,” Clove whispered. “It’s more about what we do. There are no guarantees in life. Destiny suggests there are. They can’t both be true, so it’s up to us.”

  Adalai took a deep breath. No destiny. No fate. Her becoming some amazing leader might not have been entirely in her power, but it wasn’t up to some mystical power either. As sad as it was, it was also reassuring that not everything was left up to someone else’s design. Except they had no control in this situation. Orr wasn’t mystical or all-powerful, but he had everything under his control.

  “The oracle in Neeria,” Emeryss continued, “said that the void is in power.”

  “What does that mean?” Clove asked.

  Emeryss rubbed her forehead. “I don’t know. She said words like etherless and hollow.”

  “You’re etherless. The Neerians, I mean,” Adalai said.

  “That’s what I told her, but that’s not true. When I walk around with the ethereal veil on, I can see auras. I can see ether in people, even in Neerians. It truly is everywhere.”

  “So, then, what did she mean?” Clove asked again.

  Emeryss shrugged.

  Whatever it meant, it was not a comfort.

  “What will you all do now?” Emeryss asked them.

  Adalai shrunk down a little. Clove could have killed her after the arena, when she was wounded and vulnerable. But she hadn’t. And now, there was no reason for Cayn, or even Emeryss, to stay and fight alongside her.

  Fear struck her. Assuming Clove wouldn’t try to kill her outright, she might have to deal with Orr and the RCA alone. They might leave, and she’d be alone—again. She wasn’t sure she could do it alone. She wasn’t sure she wanted to be.

  Clove and Cayn exchanged glances. “We don’t know what we’ll do.”

  Mack stood up. “Maybe the three of us should go talk about it. Figure it out.”

  After a short pause, they left her and Emeryss alone, and Emeryss leaned in. “I don’t think Clove is going to kill you.”

  Adalai rolled her eyes. “Let her. At this point, I’m not sure what else to do.”

  “You don’t mean that.” Emeryss smiled at her. “You know, I didn’t know Orr was an energy Caster or maybe an air Caster. I thought he was fire.”

  Adalai looked at her. “He is fire.”

  “But he was molten, and melted the ground as he walked, and blew me away—literally.”

  “Maybe he exploded something, and it blew you out?” Adalai shrugged. “We’ve lost.”

  Emeryss tilted her head. “Is this Adalai giving up? Were you switched out for some Ingini machine?” She began prodding her arms.

  “Ow, stop it.”

  “No way. You’re not Adalai anymore. Adalai doesn’t give up—”

  “What are we supposed to do?” Adalai burst, the gravity of it all crushing her. “It’s over. We can’t do anything.”

  “But it’s not over—”

  “How do we fix something that is technically true, but was taken out of context? I mean, we blew up the arena. We didn’t know Orr had already planted his own explosions around the city and was going to frame us for it. How do we fix so much that has gone wrong?”

  Emeryss chewed on the inside of her cheek. “I have an answer, but I’m not sure you want to hear it.”

  “Is it a stupid sea analogy from Neeria?”

  Emeryss held out her hands. “So, there’s this scary sea creature from Neerian legends—”

  Adalai groaned.

  “—It had eight heads. One main one that held seven smaller heads attached to it. Each head had seven tongues, and if it caught you in the deep or the undertow, it sucked you in and ate you whole. The only way to kill it was to cut off the head attached to the body—the main one.”

  Adalai rolled her eyes. “Just say that you think we have to kill Orr.�
��

  “You’re probably the only one who can get close enough to do it.”

  That was true. She hated how true that was.

  She knew the palace, the grounds, and if Orr had made himself king, then that’s where he’d be. Getting in and out wouldn’t be too difficult for her. There were some areas that they could use some help on, but her main concern was what to do with Orr when she reached him. Assuming he didn’t know she was coming, it would never be as simple as slitting his throat or stabbing him in the spine.

  She swallowed her worry and stress and the pressure of figuring it all out. “Will you stay… and help me?”

  Emeryss’s eyes widened before she nodded. “Yes. I’ll help you.”

  Good. That made her feel a little better. Now, they just had to figure out how.

  Chapter 31

  Aurelis aqueducts — Revel

  Emeryss turned over and over on her cot, unable to find a comfortable spot that didn’t feel like the damp humidity of an underground tunnel system.

  Thankfully, the RCA weren’t directly above them like they’d been the night before. The newest report said they were in the southern parts of the city, wreaking havoc and threatening anyone suspicious there.

  Adalai snorted herself awake and quickly lulled her breathing back to sleep. Clove, Cayn, and Mack had been assigned to be on watch.

  It was almost like being back on the Zephyr again, except they weren’t being reckless and risking their lives to save the day. This was survival, and the only end in sight was the possibility of taking out Orr. Except, that plan with Adalai hadn’t gotten very far.

  Adalai knew the layouts and could guess the best vantage points for sneaking around, but she didn’t know their schedule, how many RCA he had protecting the place, who was protecting the place, and where he’d be.

  She closed her eyes and settled her nerves on a vision of the Endov Sea.

  Her family was probably worried about her. Her mother had most likely updated them, but that was before the war broke out, before Orr had gone after her and Adalai in the arena, before everything had neared dangerously close to hopeless.

  If she could at least tell them she was safe…

  She’d never tried Sonora’s sound sigils before. They were slightly more involved than other combat sigils, but there was no harm in trying.

  She let the ethereal veil fall around her as she stared up at the dark stone ceiling. She tried to recall Sonora’s grimoires and the sigils that would be within them.

  What had it been called? Send & Receive?

  She drew the sigil on the air with her finger and brought it to her mouth. “Issolia?” she whispered. “Issolia? Can you hear me?”

  Nothing.

  “Issolia?”

  Emeryss? Her sister’s voice had come through like a soft whisper. Emeryss, is that you? How am I hearing you?

  “I’m casting. I just wanted to tell you that I’m safe…”

  Oh, thank Goddess. Emeryss, Mom is really worried about you, and Dad, too.

  “I’m sorry. I’m stuck in Aurelis. Everyone knows what I can do now, and I’m not sure there’s any way out of this.”

  Just come home. Just come home, and we’ll figure out what to do.

  Even if that was an option, she wouldn’t let it be.

  “I can’t. I have to help here. Tell Dad and Mom that I’m strong, and I’ll be strong and do everything I can to make them proud. Tell everyone I love them—”

  Emeryss! Please don’t stay there. Come home! Her sister’s tears and strained voice tugged at her.

  “Tell everyone that if anything happens, I’ll wait for them in Eien. Blessed life to a blessed night.” She released the veil before her sister could fight her on it any longer and wiped her watering eyes.

  Finally, her thoughts drifted to Grier. The smell of him—like m’ralli trees from the groves of Stadhold. The feel of him—a strong gentleness. His lips, his cheeks, his fingers…

  Had he been able to talk to the Librarian and get help?

  Her gut told her no. The Librarian wouldn’t budge on something like this. She’d never go against her allies, seeing as they were supposed to be neutral. But if anyone could convince someone to care about something, it’d be Grier.

  She dropped the veil around her again, retraced the Send & Receive sigil over her mouth, and called out to him as quietly as possible.

  Nothing.

  “Grier,” she urged.

  Adalai huffed. “Some of us are trying to sleep, Emeryss.”

  “Sorry,” she whispered.

  He should have heard her like Issolia did. Even if he was asleep, it would have woken him up or tapped into his consciousness or something, right? She wasn’t sure how it worked, but she just wanted to hold him again, feel him against her.

  She closed her eyes, letting the veil of the ether ripple and bend around her. It was just like old times when she used to scribe.

  The inky flourishes and bright colors winding through the realm enchanted her, and she wished Grier could be there to see this place with her.

  She dragged her fingers through the ether, letting them twist and stretch around her hands like seawater.

  “Grier,” she called out into the plane. “I just want to see you.”

  The ether swayed until Grier moved out from behind a cloud of it.

  She hesitated, startled by how handsome he was in an ocean of color and energy. “Grier? Is that really you?”

  He stood there smiling and staring at her.

  Was it her imagination, her own visualization, and nothing more? Hadn’t the Goddess said the ethereal realm was a place of existence like their own?

  It felt real. She wanted it to be real.

  She lifted her hands to his face, caressing the transition from his smooth cheeks to the stubble on his jaw. His hair was slightly messy, and she ran her fingers through it, too, like she had so many times before. She pressed herself against him, pulling his forehead to hers.

  “I love you. No matter what, I’ll always love you,” she whispered.

  He smiled.

  “If something happens, I’ll find you in the next life and the next…” She wrapped herself tighter around him. “No matter what, I’ll find you, and I’ll never stop finding you.”

  She kissed him and found the taste and feel distinctly Grier.

  His warm hands ran up her back, rubbing over her skin and pulling her closer.

  There was only love. Only trust and care. All of this fighting was worth it because everyone deserved life and love like this.

  Her kisses became hurried, her need of him—hungrier. His tongue danced with hers. If this was all in her head, just her imagination—

  But his hands gripped her. It was forceful, commanding… She loved it.

  “Grier.”

  “Emeryss,” he breathed against her skin.

  He was real, then, on the ethereal plane with her, sharing this moment. She wasn’t sure how this was possible or how long it would last, but she wouldn’t let it go. She’d needed him too much.

  She wound her fingers through his hair again, as his hands found the curve of her backside, crushing her against him.

  She pried her mouth and lips away from his for a second and jumped up, wrapping her legs around his waist.

  She’d thought about this since they’d parted months ago. And all this time, he’d been writing to her. He never stopped loving her.

  He held her there in his arms as she broke free long enough to pull off her shirt and toss it into the inky clouds around them. She brought his mouth to her breasts and panted against his temple.

  His tongue lapped and nipped across her skin, igniting every inch of her into ethereal bliss that tested her will. She could simultaneously let this moment last forever or beg him to give all of himself right then and there.

  She whimpered against him as his fingers wound their way up to her hair, gripping the strands and pulling her head back.

  His mouth went to h
er exposed neck and sucked at her skin.

  No one else could break her will so easily. No one else could make her feel the love and compassion she had for him right then. To feel so incredibly safe in his arms and powerful at the same time.

  She pulled away from him.

  His chest heaved as if he needed air. There was no air in the ethereal plane, but she liked the way his broad chest moved up and down, how his muscles were taut and strained.

  She tore away his shirt and pants, kissing him all the way down as she went. And when her mouth met his excitement, threatening to draw everything out of him with her tongue alone, he arched against her and groaned.

  Yes.

  This is how strong she felt, how she wanted to make him feel. Because it’s how she felt with him. It’s how he made her feel, too. Even the inky tendrils floating around them had taken on a brighter hue, an intensity mirroring how much she wanted this.

  She rose to meet him, but the ether around them fell away to reveal the Zephyr and their cabin from when they’d first left Stadhold. The window Grier had been so terrified of was wide and shining with early morning sun.

  She wanted to continue what they’d started, but the window…

  Something about the window was urging her to look.

  She turned from his face and glanced through it. They were thousands of feet up, the countryside below was bright and beautiful, and the wall between Ingini and Revel was gone.

  She went to return to Grier, but he was there behind her, wrapping his arms around her, cupping her breasts, pressing himself against her backside, and peering through the same window.

  “Are you scared?” she asked him.

  He shook his head and kissed the back of her neck and the tops of her shoulders, letting his hands graze over her thighs to her stomach, to her nipples, and back down to the deepest, warmest parts of her.

  She gasped out his name, throwing her head back against his shoulder. There was nothing to hold onto, nothing to prop herself against. There was nothing to rein in the force of him. She could only give in to the sensations lighting her skin, the urge building in her lower stomach, the ache of her most sensitive points being teased by his fingers.