Changes

by Michael Diettrich-Chastain

  Unfortunately, religious differences are a common barrier to human connection. When we don’t find common identification, when we don’t ascribe to the same religious language, we often run into a stalemate. I understand that people want to find commonality with others, and therefore seek out those who share their belief system. I simply believe that people would also benefit by taking the opportunity to explore what is behind the language they use to describe their belief system. What if we could explore our common ground before letting our different use of labels create barriers between us?

  Intergroup conflict aside, there is plenty of evidence to support the notion that belief systems can be helpful to us in ways that go beyond the spiritual. For example, an article from The Journal of Behavioral Medicine states, “Spirituality, as defined as the combination of existential and religious well-being, is related to both emotional well-being and quality of life.”76

  According to The Journal of Health Psychology, research shows that religious coping methods have an impact on health. The journal cited a study that demonstrated “Positive methods of religious coping (e.g., seeking spiritual support, benevolent religious reappraisals) were associated with improvements in health and negative methods of religious coping (e.g., punishing God reappraisal, interpersonal religious discontent) were predictive of declines in health.”77

  If those terms in parentheses gave you pause, you’re not alone. Let’s clarify. When religious believers felt reassured of divine love or attributed a positive turn of events to the blessings of a higher power, they experienced better physical health. By contrast, when people dealt with tense relationships in a religious context or attributed misfortunes to divine punishment, they experienced worse physical health.

  When people shift their focus or modify their beliefs, they can create changes. As evidenced by The Journal of Health Psychology study, focusing on negative often tends to lead to negative outcomes and focusing on positive tends to lead to positive outcomes. Therefore, exploring our beliefs is a vital component of creating effective change. That said, even if switching your perspective from negative to positive were as easy as flipping a light (to be clear, it’s not), it alone wouldn’t be enough to create the changes you seek. Additional steps and resources are required. As you’ve read so far in this book, I advocate a holistic approach. An effective perspective-shift will pertain to Spirit and Cognition and will inspire Action toward meaningful CHANGES. The seven dimensions in this book and their interaction offer us lenses to examine what is holding us back and what needs to be developed.

  Note: This is not a book about creating your reality by thinking happy thoughts.

  Belief and well-being are connected, but they are just two of the factors that influence our ability to create change.

  Still need some evidence? How about this: according to a meta-analysis of 49 studies exploring the relationship between religious coping methods and psychological adjustment to stress, it was found that positive and negative coping are related to positive and negative adjustment to stress, respectively.78

  Well-being and belief systems are not limited to one’s personal life, though. There is also evidence to show that spirituality impacts the organization. According to a 2016 article in The International Journal of Indian Psychology, spirituality in the workplace is related to inspired leadership, a strong organizational base, organizational integrity, a positive work environment, and a sense of community among members, among other positive qualities.79

  According to a 2012 study in the journal, Personality and Individual Differences, a correlation was found between spirituality and positive outcomes except when workplace aggression was present. In the presence of workplace aggression, spiritual employees tended to be more vulnerable to negative outcomes than less spiritual employees.80

  Having seen how belief systems impact us both personally and professionally, we have come to the point to take action. Challenging your beliefs may bring up some fundamental questions, fears, judgments, and insecurities. Remember, if you feel you need additional support, consider calling a coach or therapist to help you work through the process.

  CHAPTER 20 ACTIVITY

  Jot down a specific change you have been trying to make.

  Now journal on the following questions:

  What does your belief system tell you about what you are capable of changing in your life?

  What do you know about other belief systems available?

  Who can you reach out to as a resource for understanding more about your belief system or alternatives?

  If you are unsure how to describe your belief system, that’s okay. Consider asking three people who know you well to describe what they think you believe in. Would they describe you as religious, spiritual, agnostic, atheist, or something else? Ask them to give you feedback on the following three questions:

  1) How do you see my belief system supporting me or holding me back?

  2) What do you think is most important to me when it comes to religion/spirituality?

  3) How have you seen me express my spiritual/religious beliefs? Can you give specific examples?

  Now that you have some feedback, you can decide what to do with it. Consider the following questions:

  From the questions you answered yourself and the feedback you received, do any themes emerge?? If so, what insights do they provide?

  What actions can you commit to taking based on the insights you have gathered?

  21

  Belief and Reality

  I once worked with a man who was certain that aliens have graced us with their presence, are still here in some fashion, and will resurface at some point. For the purposes of this story, let’s call him James.

  James had been diagnosed with a mental health disorder that had troubled him for much of his life. His grasp of reality was different than mine or that of most folks I knew. He could go on and on about aliens, his theories about how they had made contact, the evidence that guaranteed their return, and his own experiences with them. The curious thing about these stories was how convincing they were. James was a sweet, engaging man. His stories may have been fantastic, but they gave me an insight into his reality.

  James and I would usually spend our time together outside. When James was surrounded by nature, he always struck me as the most calm and peaceful version of himself. Occasionally, we would venture into town. While in town, James enjoyed going to thrift shops, music stores (he had excellent taste in music), and other arts and crafts dealers in search of fun collectibles he could take back to his tiny home in the woods.

  For James, the joy of browsing the shops was almost worth the discomfort of being among others. People could be a trigger. He’d obsess over any perceived insult. Operative word: perceived. When we were together, I wouldn’t even notice the same thing that would irritate him to no end.

  During our time together, we set a variety of goals. He wanted to incorporate coping methods to manage his negative reactions, increase his ability to function independently, and reduce his paranoia/delusions. Often, James made progress. Sometimes, he struggled significantly. During the times that he did well, he was able to integrate the various aspects of his life. By doing so, he deepened his understanding of his paranoia, became more aware of the support available to him, embraced his version of faith, took care of himself physically, and connected with the people he loved.

  James may not remind you of anyone you have encountered. Thankfully, most of us don’t have to wrestle with what is real and what is delusion, at least, not on a regular basis. But James’s ability to create change is quite similar to ours.

  James’s courage to take stock of his life and transform it is an inspiration to me. Evaluating our version of the truth and questioning its validity is both courageous and liberating. Exploring our reality will help us distill what we truly believe in. It will also highlight our responses to grand philosophical questions, such as Why am I here? and Where am I headed?

  Perhaps
even more pertinent are these two questions:

  1) How does your outlook or your idea of what is possible serve you or sabotage you?

  2) What are you willing to do to challenge this mode of perception?

  In the scientific journal, Current Biology, a 2013 study presents evidence of how our imagination can actually affect our senses. For example, imagining a sound can alter what we report having seen, and imagining visual stimuli can impact what we think we hear.81

  There may be more to the phrase “your mind is playing tricks on you” than we think. There is much more evidence to show that our perception can influence us in surprising ways.

  Copious data support the idea that self-efficacy (belief in one’s self) contributes to good health.82 You may read this and think, “Well of course, if someone believes in themselves, then they’ll spend more time taking care of themselves.” True, but belief and reality are even more tightly connected.

  For example, there is evidence to show that our personality can affect our perception. A 2017 article in The Journal of Research in Personality cites evidence that people who are more open to new experiences tend to possess greater powers of visual perception.83 To clarify, the study referenced here goes beyond saying that people who are more open-minded also tend to be more observant. It proposes that more open-minded subjects showed higher visual function on the most basic level before the brain even recognizes objects. In short, a person who has a more open, flexible personality may actually see and observe more of what is physically in front of them.

  There’s more. In another study, we see more evidence for how a belief impacts our biology. Psychology Professor Dr. Segerstrom at the University of Kentucky conducted a study and concluded that as optimistic expectancies increased, so did cell-mediated immunity.84 In other words, when subjects assumed a more optimistic outlook, they experienced an immunity boost.

  Of course, there are many studies that suggest that a subject’s physical reality changes due to a shift in thinking. For instance, the placebo effect (a psychological phenomenon in which a substance or intervention that has no scientifically proven therapeutic effect actually leads to improvement). Not to go too far down the rabbit hole, but let me share one quick placebo study that I think is particularly fascinating.

  [A side note for all you skeptics out there: data on perception, placebo, body/mind connectivity, and the like are constantly evolving.]

  Though follow-up research is still needed, there are interesting findings that link the placebo effect to a reduction of pain and anxiety. There is even documented evidence of the placebo effect improving symptoms related to Parkinson’s disease and aiding in certain surgical procedures.85

  Let me save you some time and effort before you go poring over the studies I present or searching for some of your own to refute these claims. Whether or not you believe that a belief can change an outcome, I invite you to experiment for yourself. Often we become so enmeshed in our habits and ways of being that we can lose track of how these patterns affect us.

  The opportunity for experimenting with new beliefs, new expectations, and new possibilities is always there. It is an open-ended invitation waiting for your mindful response.

  What is real? What is possible? What can be created? You alone need to answer these critical questions in the precious time you have here. Don’t wait.

  CHAPTER 21 ACTIVITY

  Taking actions that challenge your current perceptions can be an effective way to initiate a change process or re-energize one that has run out of steam. The following exercise may reorient you on your journey toward effective changemaking. Answer the following questions:

  What strong beliefs underpin your perceived reality?

  What is an alternative way to consider these beliefs? For instance, if you believe that homeless people probably came by their current situation because they didn’t work hard enough, what is an alternative position on this?

  What is a belief you inherited as a child that you have never challenged?

  If you were to challenge this belief, what questions would you ask, or how would you challenge it?

  What is one belief you have that works against you in creating the life you want?

  What are you willing to do to let go of this belief?

  What are three actions you will commit to taking to eliminate this detrimental belief? After you complete each commitment, take note of your observations and insights.

  Changes in Motion

  Where Do You See Yourself in Five Years?

  If you’ve avoided the exercises in the book, creating five-year goals can be a great place to start. Depending on where you started reading, this chapter can serve either as closure or as an introduction to CHANGES.

  As you consider what you want to change about your professional or personal life, you now have a strategy to employ. Assessing the seven principles in CHANGES will help you identify which areas in your life are not getting enough attention as well as which areas are thriving. In this chapter we’ll explore how to use these seven principles to build your ability to adapt, accomplish goals, and do so without major stress. Specifically, we’ll explore the seven principles through the frame of creating a five-year plan.

  In considering where you’ll be in five years, you must first evaluate what you truly want. You can use the CHANGES tool to determine what you would like to see differently across the various areas in your life.

  For our purposes here, I would recommend focusing on what you’d like to accomplish over a five-year period. As you do this, you might consider asking yourself the following questions:

  How do I want to be thinking differently? (Cognition)

  How might I be more emotionally available and resilient, and what emotional reactions will I better manage? (Heart)

  What behaviors or practices will be totally different in five years? (Action)

  How will I be taking care of my body in a way that I have never done before? (Nourishment)

  What kinds of positive risks will I be taking that I won’t allow myself to take today? (Guts)

  How will the friends, community, activities or work I am engaged in be different? (Environment)

  What beliefs might I challenge over the course of the next five years, and what will I choose to believe that is very different than what I currently believe? (Spirit)

  Another way to think about what you want in your life is to create a vision board. It’s a fun, creative way to explore what you truly desire for yourself. Though there are a bunch of ways to make a vision board, in essence, you take a sheet of poster board and fill it with pictures (photographs, drawings, images cut out from print media, etc.), phrases, and symbols that represent your aspirations. For a deeper dive I recommend Jack Canfield’s approach.86

  Let’s be clear here. Creating a board full of all the things you want and ways you want to be is a fun exercise, but should not be confused with all the rest of the hard work required in reaching your goals. In my experience, the process of creating a vision board offers three major benefits.

  1) It compels you to ask yourself what you truly want in your life.

  2) It demands that you find visual representation for those desires. Do not discount the importance of this part. Any expression of a desire helps you to communicate it to others and define what it is for yourself. (During the process, you may discover that your sense of what you truly want undergoes changes.)

  3) When finished, the board acts as a visual reminder of what you “say” you want. It also functions as a tool for accountability. It should elicit the question, “What am I doing right now to attain these goals?”

  As you well know by now, you realize that achieving what you want is not just about setting intention and wishing your way through change. While visualization is important, you must combine it with all the other principles in this book.

  Unless we establish strong intentions, we are letting someone else lead. Either we set our own direction or we allow our directio
n to be set for us. The exercise of exploring where you’ll be in five years puts you in charge.

  Expressing your goals increases the likelihood of attaining them. According to a study by Psychology Professor Dr. Gail Matthews, 70 percent of participants who shared their goals achieved them.87 In other words, the odds are in your favor if you commit a goal to paper or tell someone about it.

  Of course, there is a lot of distraction around us, begging for our attention. Distractions steal our time and energy from seeking the goals we are after. By using the various strategies in the seven dimensions we discuss in this book, we can help reduce distraction.

  Having a plan in place for what you want should include all the steps clearly designated along the way. Here are some tips for making a five-year plan that will help you ensure success.

  Five Tips for Creating a Five-Year Plan

  MORE THAN A FIVE-YEAR PLAN

  Creating a five-year plan is more than answering the question, “Where will I be in five years?” It’s about establishing new patterns of intention, so that you know more about what you want, where you’re headed, and how you’ll get there. It’s about self-discovery. It’s about setting a trajectory for long-lasting change that leads to success. When envisioning how your upcoming years will unfold, consider that this visualization process (similar to creating the vision board) may be just as valuable as the goals you are setting. By outlining your goals and intentions you will also be practicing a new way of thinking and perhaps even establishing new beliefs for what is possible, which incorporates two of the seven principles in this book, Cognition and Spirit.